BabyWise Opinions Wanted

When my youngest child, who is 10 now, was a baby, we used the Baby wise book. Wow what a difference that made with him than my other two boys. He slept all night at about 8 weeks and still is a great sleeper. I don't see any lasting effects on him. My oldest son to this day does not sleep very well, and he is 14. I loved the books and they worked for me. I just wish they were around with my first 2.

My 2 favorite books that have been very valuable with my two boys ages 4 and 1 are:
Child of Mine: Feeding with Love and Good Sense by Ellen Sater and
Healthy Sleep Habits Happy Child by Dr Weisbluth

I used babywise. I wasn't as strict as they wanted me to be but it still worked. Putting baby on a schedule and having a bedtime routine are the main things that helped Amelia sleep.

I learned you can read until your eyes fall out. Some have great ideas, some not so much. Every baby is different, I think you can take a few good ideas from everything you read and at one point or another and use them.
There was NEVER one book that was the saving grace of it all.
The best advice I give to you is consistent bedtimes/naptimes, lay them down awake, don't use pacifiers, nightlights or any crutches when they are little as they will be your worst enemy in toddlerhood. Promise. The ONLY thing I ever used on my kids was a voice activated music box and we still use it (they are four and seven). It has just been part of the bedtime/naptime ritual me turning it on and it slowly winding down.
Lay the baby down at the same time every day, don't worry about the noise level, keep it minimum but don't have total quiet either or they will never learn to sleep with noise.
Make sure the room is cool and darker.
Don't run in at the very first fuss, let the baby try and get back to sleep by themselves. I was very attentive when they were first born and up until 3 mos would go in, however after that started letting the fussing go on a little longer.
Newborns need multiple naps and you don't really need to "schedule" naps, I never did with either of mine. At about the four mos mark, two naps a day after breakfast first and after lunch the second.
I always laid both of my newborns down in a bassinett in the living room for their naps during the day.
Just gather all your books, read them all but don't just get stuck on one book. Your baby's personality, their temperment, the size of the baby all have factors into how it all goes too.
I have had super great luck with both of mine. I just had no idea what I was doing with my first and had her in own room, in her own crib first day. It was a blessing! :)
With my son I had him in my room in his crib for the first few months since my kids had to share a room and then he transistioned fine. My kids never sleep in my bed, unless bad dreams or sick.
They have always been put to bed awake and never used pacifiers.
Like you I read what to expect, babywise, dr sears, I just took all the info and used it if and when I needed it.
Just remember you will do it all naturally, it will all fall into place for you and though advice is great, every baby is different. You will be amazed at all the mommy skills that just pour out of you without even knowing you had it in your brain! You will be great at it!! :)
BTW, my kids would nap perfectly during the day, both slept through the night at 10 mos for 12 solid hours, at 4 and 7 one sleeps 11 hours a night and the other 12 hours a night, though neither nap anymore. I have never had sleep issues with either. I attribute a lot of that to winging it and going with their personalities.

The thing about babywise that you need to be aware of is that it was written by a self proclaimed minister--not a pediatrician or even a Doctor. The co-author is an MD who I believe was added to the book to boost sales. Gary Ezzo originally wrote the book under a different title as a religious book, but later changed the title to Babywise to make more money. This is a self proclaimed expert on what's best for your child, NOT someone who knows what they're doing. In my opinion, Babywise is what we call a "baby-trainer". I have friends who swear by it too, but I found another book I felt better about as a parent. It's called The Baby Book by Dr. William Sears. He is one of the leading pediatricians in the country! He and his wife (who is an RN) co-wrote the book from their experience both in their practices and from their own 7 children. (I think it's 7:o) Babywise teaches you to set your child to a rigid schedule and let them "cry it out". Dr. Sears teaches you to become an expert on your child and learn how to listen to and respond to their needs and build strong bonds at a young age. I will be honest--this can be a difficult alternative, mainly because you will get lots of pressure from your friends and family to "just do what they did". In my opinion, babywise is the "quick fix" and does not teach correct prinicples. For me, I had to do what felt right for me and not just what people told me to do. I applaud you looking into this before you're even pregnant, because the more you know the better parent you'll be. Ultimately, you have to decide what you feel most comfortable doing and what is going to be best for your child. Best of luck!

We are parents of three healthy & happy children... 5y/o, 3y/o and an 11mth old. At the recommendation of friends that had followed BabyWise successfully we did the same for all three of ours. And for all three breastfed babies, they were sleeping through the night by 8 weeks old. It has been wonderful! My sister asked us when their son was 8 mths old how to get him to sleep through the night and as soon as she followed BabyWise, they got his sleep cycle "retrained". BabyWise is simply a balance between demand feeding and feeding solely at the time on a clock. My husband and I confidently refer all our friends to BabyWise and those that follow it have success and those that don't always say without fail..."Oh, your infants slept through the night. You were lucky." "Luck" nothing. Our friends that haven't followed it, complain about their children as old as 1-2yr olds not sleeping through the night but still waking up every 2-3 hours. This is a very controversial issue and it rasies the blood pressure for a lot of moms if they disagree on "parent directed feeding." The point that was key for me in BabyWise (as a BF mom) was focusing on giving the baby full feedings with the rich hind milk, not just "snacks". That allowed for a content baby that was interested in "playtime" and the needed "naptimes.". All the success to you.

Hi J. :)

So many responses! Moms are sure passionate on this topic! My two cents' worth as a newer mama is this is this: We have not used Babywise, though lots of folks in our church have and highly recommend it. One of the main reasons is that while researching, I discovered that there are issues with the methodology of Babywise and breastfeeding. From what I've read, there have been many problems with breastfeeding moms' milk supplies diminishing and babies becoming dehydrated because of strictly following the system. (It seems to work fine with formula-fed babies, who can go longer amounts of time without eating and don't need to stimulate mom to produce more formula.) You might want to check out this link, written by a mom who used to be a "Contact Mom" with the Growing Family International (Babywise) program. She has a very balanced, mature approach. http://www.angelfire.com/md2/moodyfamily/casestudies.html She also has great breastfeeding tips, etc. on her website.

As for books, we found "Pregnancy, Childbirth and the Newborn" by Penny Simkin, et al. very helpful. Also, Babycenter has a neat weekly email that will keep you up-to-date on the growth and development of your little one during pregnancy and beyond, complete with illustrations. You can sign up on Babycenter.com. They're also a good resource for lots of other things.

Kudos to you for "doing your homework" now. Sounds like you'll be a great mom!

A friend suggested I read this book when my son wasn't sleeping through the night. Basically, it tells you to feed your baby as soon as he/she wakes so they don't associate a feeding with going to sleep. But I was already in a really good routine with my son that sort of mimiced what it suggested (except he would eat right before he slept). However, the problems I had with the book were the basic parenting principles it recommended such as never feeding on demand, not allowing your child to have any control as they grow, not allowing them to learn to feed themselves by slapping their hands away and not feeding them again until their hands were placed on the high chair. (I think some of this is in the second book which this same friend gave me.) Once I got further into the first book and the second I was not very happy with it. It was written by a pastor or some other religious leader-type person, so it's a lot of God first, spouse second, child third.

I think if you can get your baby on a schedule, which isn't really possible until they are around 2-3 months old, you'll be just as successful at getting your child to be a great sleeper as your friends who use the BabyWise method. But for other opinions, you should research it on-line. You'll find a lot of pros and cons and advocates and critics.

As for books, once you get pregnant I would highly recommend "The Girlfriends Guide to Pregnancy" Fun, hilarious and a lot of information NOT in WTE (which is just wonderful, too).

Good luck getting pregnant!

i read baby wise with my oldest child and i liked most of it. i didn't chart everything like they suggested, it seemed a little strange to do that to me, but it did try the sleep schedule they suggested of trying to nurse at the same time each day, then keeping the baby awake for a while before letting them go back to sleep. he slept through the night very quickly. my son had a really hard time nursing and sleeping in his crib and their suggestions really helped us get him into a good schedule. i really can't remember what the rest of the book had to say, but that part did work well for us.

Babywise is great, read it, take what you think is good. I used 3 books to help my kids with their schedules... I made a program using the best ideas from all three (the other 2 were Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child; and Sleeping through the Night). Honestly, I needed something from Babywise. I was sooooo stressed and I felt so relieved. And best of all it worked. My children were champion sleepers, and thrived. You have to be careful to wait to sleep train until you have a very well established milk supply and your baby has doubled birth weight. Good luck!

do what you want after reading them all. I didn't personally care for most of the "psychologists." As they were so rigdid and every kid different. I like What to Expect the first year and then the toddler years. we also got on the Parents Bullentine and had Parents magazine. I liked those as I could shoose what I wanted to read and take from it. As far as other books I liked; Super Foods (take what you want from it so just get from library), the Love and Logic books, Supernanny, and the five love languages for children. these are for a bit older though and goo to read while you are nursin that first year. I mostly just asked my MOMS Club questions as they really know me and my children.

J.,
When I was pregnant I was recommend that book babywise and I decided to read it and I ended up loving it. My 8th month old is a happy boy on a strict schedule and we are all happier because of it. By 3 weeks old he was sleeping through the night and I knew what he needed when he cried. I believe in the book and method and it does work. Everybody is amazed by how good my little boy is and I could not have asked for a more perfect baby and based of the book it is because I taught him how to be.

I love that book and I recommend it to everybody

I loved it! I don't know why it would be contriversial? I worked so well for us. My daughter was sleeping through the night at 8 weeks. How could that be bad. It really doesn't work when they are first born but they do get into a routine pretty quick. I recommend it to all my friends.
T.

It just depends on your personality. I took some ideas from Baby Wise, but I didn't like all of it. I loved Baby Whisperer and ....Healthy Sleep Habits: Happy Child.

As far as books: Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child is one title I've read and liked.

I think with any book you read, the principles can sound good, but if you start putting them into practice and they don't feel right--then you need to listen to your gut! I tried the cry it out method once--and it felt so wrong I just could not continue with it. How is it right to let a helpless infant cry by themselves?? I don't see how people do it. My friend (a big babywise parent) had one of her babies cry themselves to sleep every nap and every night for over a year, and thinks that method is great--because it is easy. I am not judging her, but I don't get how someone could do that--I sure couldn't. At the same time, here I am with a two year old that still needs to be cuddled at least once in the night every night! It is not easy, but I believe the gentle approach is better for the child--at least for me and my child!

I did a lot of research on Babywise, and found that it was really controversial--a lot of people love it b/c they claim it makes raising kids easy and on schedule. I think the big thing is that some parents carry it to the extreme. In some of those cases, the feeding schedule has caused failure to thrive, due to not eating often enough. Other issues have been moms losing their milk b/c of not having baby eat often enough. If moms are just following a schedule, and not looking at other things (is baby content? peeing and pooping often? growing/gaining weight??) they can feed their baby too infrequently and have their milk supply decrease, and still try to maintain a schedule. Meanwhile milk supply goes down, and baby gets even less food, gets lethargic, fails to grow, etc... So, with any book, you need to make sure you pay more attention to what baby is doing, and their cues than you do to what a book says.

As far as books go, I liked several books by Dr. Sears: The pregnancy book, the baby book, the vaccine book. Also, I love the happiest baby on the block--it helped tons with my daughter's colic. There is a book called the pregnancy journal that is fun--it follows the pregnancy and asks questions so you can journal about what is going on with your pregnancy and life as you get ready for baby. Also on prenatals, New Chapter Organics makes great vitamins--far superior to anything I found--even prescription prenatals. You can get them at Whole foods/wild oats--and maybe vitamin cottage--I am not sure about that, though. If you are on them for a couple months before getting pregnant, studies have shown that can boost your babies IQ by several points. Also, I recommend fish oil during pregnancy and nursing. Carlson's and Nordic Naturals are two great brands. The DHA in fish oil is great for baby's growing brain. I also noticed that my hands and lips would really dry out if I didn't take it. I now give it directly to my 2yo--Nordic naturals has a chewable one for kids. Also, if you have a good Chiropractor you trust, they can be a great help when you are pregnant. My helped so much with those little discomforts--like ribs being kicked out of place! :-)

Pregnancy is such a special time--I hope you get pregnant easily, and have a healthy and easy pregnancy. Good luck!

It worked for me! My first was sleeping through the night at 3 months and I doubt she would have other wise. The second was so easy I didn't even need to use it! I strongly believe that if an infant is under 6 months old and crying GO GET THEM. After that..they need to learn to self sooth. Good luck!

I have read and benefited from many parenting books, including Babywise. As another mom mentioned earlier, there are some very good principles in the book. I don't use all the techniques, and I am not as strict about it as the author of Babywise advocates.

My first child did not sleep well at night until she started walking, so my college roommate suggested Babywise to me. My second, third, and fourth babies have all started sleeping well at around three months, since I have used some Babywise principles. Here are the main Babywise principles that have been effective for me:

Newborn stage - focus on full feedings. Do everything you can to keep little one awake long enough to really get filled up, not nurse for five minutes, sleep, then nurse again a little later.

At two or three weeks old - Start feeding at regular intervals - usually every 2 1/2 hours and then stretching to three hours as they get older. Start their feedings at around the same time each morning, to build consistency. It is a big relief to be able to plan around the next feeding time - you know baby won't be dying of hunger in an hour, so you can run an errand or something.

Feed, keep them awake, then sleep - this has a couple big advantages. If you have awake time with baby right after he/she eats, then they are much happier and full. They also learn to fall asleep without being nursed to sleep, which translates to smoother bedtimes later. Baby sleeps an hour or two at the end of each feeding cyle, right when his/her tummy is getting emptier, so baby isn't awake and getting crankier as he/she gets hungrier. You may have to wake your baby up from naps to feed at the right time, which seems wierd, but it really works out to a nice, consistent routine.

I lead a pretty flexible life and schedule with my kids, so going Babywise doesn't have to be locked in to the same activities every day. I can run errands and still make sure my little one gets fed at the same regular times. My babies have all gained weight beautifully and been in the 95th percentile by six weeks old.

Good luck!

I read babywise and mostly followed it. My husband and I also took the class "Growing Kids God's Way" (I think it's called something different now). My boys were all 8+ pounds at birth and waking them during the night like others recommended to eat seemed insane to me. I put them down awake most of the time. They always slept in their own bed, and they ate every 3 hours during the day and slept through the night (at least 6 hours) by 4 weeks. The class we took was great but doesn't address infants like the book does. We take our kids with us everywhere and they know the rules and consequences. Almost everytime we eat out someone stops by our table and tells us how well behaved our boys are. I wasn't legalistic about the principles in the book, as a Mom you'll know when the baby really needs you and when you can let them cry a bit. I know it's a controversial book, but I asked people with well-behaved kids what they used and this was it. The key is to be consistant. Good Luck!

I followed BabyWise only to a certain extent, with my now 21-month old daughter, so I can't say for sure if I would recommend it or not, as it was sometimes a lot 'off-ish'. I read the book front to back and deviated (quite a bit) as I felt necessary based on our lifestyle and what I thought was a little too 'strict' for an infant. Remember, they need to eat since there tummies as so tiny! If anything, just establishing a schedule was way worth it but I am sure that can be done on your own without having to read BabyWise.

Sleep at this point, although very nice to have during the night, you will learn to cope with what you get. Take advantage of the routine naps during the day and it will come. It was nice when a 'schedule' was developed that way 'Mom' has a little down time between the naps. My daughter was sleeping thru the night at about 4-5 months old.

Totally agree with Sarah C - I hated the 'What to Expect' series also. Nice to know what they are doing at specific ages but hardly useful at all.

As far as books/info...I bought several and ended up only referring to them when needed...Mostly during the initial infant stage as hubby and I were first-time parents and had no clue what to do. :-) But as far as info, I looked on the internet and read what I could for the info I needed. Recources like this site is invaluable!

Good luck!!!

My favorite book was "My Pregnancy Week-by-Week". It's done by an OB-GYN, while WTE is not. Also, it's done in weeks, while WTE is by months, not commonly used at your OB. Also, it shows pictures of how big the baby is and gives lots of good, pertinent advice for that week. They also have a Week-by-week for the baby's 1st year that I have loved. Never hear of BabyWise though...sorry!

Hi J.,

I highly recommend BabyWise. I was referred to it by a high- school friend (known her for over 15 years). I personally know four women and between the five of us, we have successfully used BabyWise with nine children. It's not about making babies cry, it is about helping babies understand that there is a time to eat, sleep, and play. It's about getting your baby on an eat, play, sleep schedule that lets you and your baby find predictability and routine from early on. I hope this helps.

Yeeks! I'm the one that wrote the post a week or so ago about whether or not I should forgive my GF. She & I both did Babywise (the church version, which is called Preparation for Parenting,) 8 years ago when we were having our first kids, and now our friendship is in a major mess because of a difference of parenting styles. (She home schools and I send mine to public school. According to her, my child "contaminated" her child when he taught her that the word "sh*t" meant poo poo. It made her daughter cry. The story goes on... you can look the post up if you want to see the details.)

Anyway, Babywise is Fantastic. It's a lifesaver to your sanity as a new parent. Why would you NOT want to go with the easiest way to get your baby to sleep through the night? Or why would you want a baby to cry as soon as you leave the room because he doesn't know how to go to sleep by himself?

Btw, I must clarify that some of the other mommies said things about not liking the book because "you can't stick a newborn baby in a crib and let him cry, etc..." That's not the way the book works. By sticking with the schedule they teach, the baby DOESN'T cry. Also, a baby does NOT have to be 2-3 months old to be on a schedule. That's craziness.

You have to pick and choose what you like and agree with in the book, and what you don't. My kids have shaken hands and said "nice to meet you," since they were toddlers. People freak out about "what good manners" they have. (I don't admit that it came from Babywise/ Prep for Parenting!)

Anything can be done to an extreme (my GF, for example LOL) but I highly suggest reading it and picking out the parts you like... then go for it and have a happy baby!

I liked Babywise. I had a perfect baby so not sure if it was her or the schedule. Probably both. the best part I found was weaning her from nursing. It was easy because she woke up and instead of nursing ...I could move her straight to a meal (babywise philosophy on wake/feed). It doesn't talk about the nursing component in the book, it just happened for me.

I loved using Baby Wise with my two children (ages 2 and 4). They are both healthy sleepers. My children have always thrived on a routine and in return have very healthy sleep habits. So many people were amazed that we would just put or little ones in their crib for nap or bedtime and that they would simpy go to sleep without any production. Both of our kids are amazing sleepers and have always slept in their own beds. The Baby Whisperer is a good book too.

Babywise worked great for my friend who was not able to breastfeed at all due to a breast reduction. Hoewever, it did not work for us although my husband I both read it and tried to implement it for a short time. Breastfeeding and babywise do not mix.
I do think it was worthwhile reading though, because it puts a lot of emphasis on the fact that the child is a part of a family and that the whole family does not revolve around that one child, or everyone will end up unhappy anyway.
Good luck!

I fully expected that after 55 responses there would be a ton more moms who would stand firmly in the non babywise camp....its scary to me that so many people are still using/recommending the book! The AAP recommends AGAINST babywise because of 'failure to thrive' issues and dehydration.

Just on a personal note, a very good friend used the babywise technique ended up with a baby with bonding issues. The technique created a series of issues with her son. Once she threw the ideas out the window and responded to her son in a loving manner she ended up having a much better relationship with him.

I wholeheartedly believe in creating a routine, working with your child to encourage them to fall asleep on their own, rather than at the breast, etc. However, it can be done in a loving way and not in such an adversarial, controversial and potentially dangerous manner.

Good Luck, and happy TTC.

Supernatural Childbirth was the best book I ever received!

Worked for us!
1st slept through night at 7 weeks, 2nd slept through night at 7 weeks, 3rd slept through night at 11 weeks. By, "Slept through night", I mean at least 8 hours in a row. I basically scheduled a feeding every 2 1/2-3 hours during the day, whether they were awake or asleep, until they were sleeping through the night. This ends up being 7-8 feedings a day. I just tried to get them all their food during the daytime. It worked great for our 3 kids!

I read the BabeWise books and was unhappy with the recommendations. So, I kept looking for alternatives.

Finally, a wonderful mom on Mamasource recommended the book:

Good Night, Sleep Tight by the "Sleep Lady" Kim West.

This book finally clicked for our family. I had nursed our son to sleep and through the night until about 13 months...and we reached a peak of him waking up almost every hour at night to be close to mommy. I had finally had enough and needed to get help. The recommendation for this book came at just the right time.

It's a much more realistic and gentle method for "coaching" your child into getting themselves to sleep.

We have used the method for about three weeks and he is now sleeping for 10 hours at night without waking up at all in between. I consider it a huge success!!!!

On a side note, I tried, but just could not do the Ferber (cry it out) method and BabyWise is along the same lines as Ferber. I cried almost more than he did when we tried that method.

I loved what to expect when you are expecting...it's wonderful...but, I didn't read the Food Book.

I agree with the other moms who say...FOLLOW YOUR INSTINCTS and not one book has all the right answers for your situation. I've read tons of them and my son is only 15 months old. Your gut will steer you in the right direction and if something doesn't feel right start asking questions and researching...that's my advise for you during pregnancy and your baby when he/she arrives.

Good luck...you will be a great mommy!!!

"Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child" by Marc Weissbluth has been a book that I just keep referring back to. It doesn't necessarily have a "method", it just teaches you what research says about babies and their development and then gives a number of different strategies. I have used it with both of my little ones (7 mo. and 2 1/2 yrs.) Each child is different, so there couldn't be any perfect strategy. However, my little ones have learned to be very good sleepers. (it doesn't always come naturally!) I also covers sleep issues from birth through adolescence....very comprehensive

Hi J.! I would highly recommend BabyWise. I used it with our daughter, and had amazing success. She was sleeping through the night at 7weeks, it gave structure and routine to our day, and she is a very happy and well adjusted child now at almost three years old. I also have several friends who use BabyWise, and all of them have had the same success. You have to use it as a guide, meaning there will some flexibility in it depending on your child and your life. I have found that those who have a problem with it, have never actually used it themselves, they have either just heard about it, or read the book and didn't like the concept, but did not try it for their children.

Another great book, if BabyWise doesn't fit for you, is Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child by Marc Weissbluth. I highly recommend that one too. It is a little less structured in the early months than Babywise.

I hope for a quick pregnancy for you!

I can't say for sure about BabyWise, I just researched it a little but the wording I am seeing makes me think twice, things like "It's a management plan" and the "book not only provides a plan for parents to manage their babies feeding and sleeping schedules," anything that talks about managing your child to fit into your schedule bothers me.

It is not NORMAL for any baby under 6 months to sleep through the night, and then it varies as a baby gets older, Parenthood isn't about you and your schedule or your needs, that doesn't mean that you let yourself go and focus only on the child, it is a balance but a lot of parents want kids to fit into their lives, when you should be fitting your life into theirs.

I recommended Elizabeth Pantley's book "The no-cry Sleep Solution", no CIO and works around your childs needs, but doesn't forget that mom's and dad's have needs also. Here is a link....

http://www.pantley.com/elizabeth/index.html

I would just say that no matter what you read, keep in mind that your baby is an individual. I read Babywise and The Baby Whisperer before I had my son (books with some pretty opposite views), and was confused about what was best. I found that the most important thing is that you will get to know your baby, what you're comfortable with and what you're not. I also like What to Expect the First Year. I wish I could say that I found one book with all of the answers, but we wound up taking bits of advice from all sorts of places and coming up with what worked for us and our son. We did not let our son (a pretty good sleeper) CIO until he was about 8 months old, when we felt he was ready, and he has been just fine. I've also heard some very negative things about Babywise, but I also have friends who have had success with it. The Baby Whisperer has a similar idea about schedules, but differs on the ideas about CIO methods. Combining info. from the two really helped us find our happy medium. Good luck!

babies are individuals and have their own personality. try the baby wise and other books. most important, go with your gut feeling. that's usually the best.

BabyWise works! It's not harmful to your baby! That idea is ridiculous.

I used the BabyWise method with my first child. She was sleeping through the night by 7 weeks old (7-8 hours), and by 12 weeks old, she was sleeping 12 hours through the night with 1-2 naps during the day. She's a happy, confident and healthy toddler now. As a baby, people were always commenting on how happy and alert she was. It's all due to the techniques used in the babywise book.

I didn't use the same method with my second child, as I was curious to see if other methods worked as well. I really regret this decision. My son wakes up 2-3 times through the night, takes 2 naps a day and never seems as happy and rested and my first child. It's never too late to start the babywise method, but it's a lot easier to start it from the beginning.

I have 3 boys, 11, 6 and 5. I used Babywise with all three and had great success. I would still recommend it!

J. my ob told me to throw away WTE. It scared me! but we are all different and need and do different things. Just like babies are all different. We too had many friends that did babywise and with great success!! So we red and tried it. It did not work for us. I think due to individuality things work for some and not others. Good luck And many blessings with starting your family.

Love it, love it, love it!!! My little man is a very healthy baby. read the book and decide for yourself. I wouldn't have it any other way than babywise

I personally did not get past the first couple pages of Baby Wise, I found the book to be very dragging and uninteresting....HOWEVER, I am a huge fan of scheduling. For our family it brought great harmony and gave our daughter some consistency and she now depends on her schedule. Whether it be the schedule or not (I think it is) she was sleeping through the night at 7 weeks old and was napping consistently, she became like clock work when it comes to when she wakes up from her naps and in the morning. Good luck with what ever you decide!!! Trust me you can listen and take all the advice you want but YOU are the only one who can decide what works best for you and your baby....GOOD LUCK!

I, personally, DO NOT like it. But then, I don't agree with "training" a baby to sleep or scheduling them to eat, especially a newborn. Babies should feed on demand, sleep when ready, and be completely nurtured through their first few years. Will you be tired? Sure! But this is parenthood! Besides, it doesn't last forever.
My son co-slept with us until about a month ago. He sleeps through the night with zero problem...about 10 hours every single night. He is 2-years old.
Again, this is only a personal opinion, but I would suggest the No Cry Sleep Method, the Happiest Baby on the Block, and anything by Dr. Sears to help you out.
If you look into studies places, such as Harvard, have done on certain methods of sleep training, it will surprise you.

J.,

You opened a can of worms!! As you know, everyone has an opinion on parenting, and there is a book and a study to support just about every opinion! I'm sorry for the following novel, but there are a lot of good book recommendations in it...

There are many fine pregnancy books out there. I personally found "What to Expect" to be one of the least useful. Although it's fun to have a What's Happening When kind of book, it's much more useful to find books that prepare you for childbirth and parenting. Henci Goer's "Thinking Woman's Guide to a Better Birth" will definitely get you thinking. Ina May Gaskin's books (Spiritual Midwifery and IM's Guide to Natural Childbirth) can be a little "out there," but again, they are thought provoking. I would recommend getting yourself psyched up by reading some birth story books. I enjoyed "Adventures in Natural Childbirth" which shows natural birth with a physician, with a midwife, and unassisted. No matter what kind of birth you plan, I would seek out books that psych you up, that encourage you that millennia of women have been giving birth and YOU CAN TOO, rather than ones that fill you with fear. "Natural Childbirth the Bradley Way" has some fairly graphic pictures, but some great information. The Bradley birth classes probably have the best/most complete information about the physiology of childbirth of any childbirth course. Michel Odent is a French obstetrician who pioneered the concept of gentle birth, and his books are definitely worth a read. One of my favorite pregnancy books is "Birthing From Within." There are a lot of childbirth methods out there, but Birthing From Within encourages each woman to look into her own heart and spirit and figure out what SHE needs to birth her baby. The answer is different for every woman, even for each birth. This book gives you lots of cool exploratory exercises and artistic expression. I really enjoyed working my way through it. The next book on my To Read list is "Pushed: The Painful Truth About Childbirth and Modern Maternity Care." It might not make you happy, but it will open your eyes about the birth practices in this country.

There is not way to tell you what parenting style is best. There isn't even any way to tell you what is most effective. Every parent is different, and every child is different. If you are doing something that is totally against your grain, it isn't going to work for you and you won't be able to keep it up. If you are trying to push your baby against his natural tendencies, it's going to be a long, hard, painful journey which might or might not work. I would recommend that you investigate several different ends of the parenting spectrum and see what "resonates" with you. “BabyWise” and Ferber-style parenting are at one end. At the other is Attachment Parenting, which recommends that you follow your own instincts and those of your baby, that you forge a connection with your child and try to meet his needs as they are presented rather than following a regiment. Dr. William and Martha Sears are the pioneers of AP, and they have several excellent books. I would highly recommend their library of books. I would start with The Birth Book, The Baby Book, and The Attachment Parenting Book. There is also The Baby Sleep Book, The Discipline Book, The Fussy Baby (this will change your life if you have a high-needs baby!) For sleep issues, The No Cry Sleep Solution by Sears & Elizabeth Pantley has been wonderful, and Dr. Sears' Nighttime Parenting. “Sleeping With Your Baby” by James McKenna will totally blow your mind. He runs the mother-infant sleep lab at Notre Dame, the only lab in this country that actually studies mother-infant pairs. The research in this book is amazing. It is a quick read, but you won't believe it, and you will wonder why everyone doesn't know about these conclusions. (For instance, did you know that there are a lot of different ways to share sleep with your baby, not just having them in your bed? Also, did you know that several studies have shown that cosleeping reduces the risk of SIDS? You can get it on Amazon.com for about $12.)

Here is my opinion, and feel free to skip it if you like... I personally abhor BabyWise. I definitely land on the attachment parenting spectrum of things, mostly. Here are my thoughts - this tiny person has been living not just near you, but INSIDE your body for his/her entire existence. He has never ever been alone. You have no way to explain anything to him. He has no understanding that mom and dad need sleep. He has no understanding that if you leave, you will come back. To take a child like this and stick him in a crib in another room and let him scream until he falls asleep just seems cruel to me. I am not debating that it can "work." I am not arguing that children eventually learn that you will not come get them, so they give up asking for help. I just don't think that the costs are worth it. I think babies are given instincts for a reason. They need them to survive and thrive. They need them to optimize the growth of their bodies, minds, emotional health and social skills. Baby's instincts are to remain close to mom, nurse often, sleep near or with mom (at least for a while), be held as often as possible, and to interact with parents, not television or light-up toys. When you suppress these instincts, you MIGHT come out with a docile baby, but at what cost? They MIGHT stop crying, but it's because they have learned that you will not meet their needs, so there is no point in telling you that something is wrong. Yes, it makes it easier to parent. But, at what cost? Also, it doesn't always work. I know plenty of moms that have gone through hellish weeks of trying to train and schedule their children, only to have nonstop hours of screaming, babies that cry until they vomit, and eventually to just give up.

That being said, everything is a balance and your parenting will adapt as you and your child grow and change. I don't follow every principle of Attachment Parenting. Some things haven't worked for me; some things haven't worked for my daughters. I have had to fine-tune and tweak as we go along. Once I think I have it down, my kids or my lifestyle changes, and we have to start tweaking all over again. There aren't any answers set in stone. You have to work out what works best for you, your baby and the moment.

I can't tell you how to parent your baby. I can only tell you to investigate several different opinions, and try to keep your mind open. Even if/when you find something that you agree with, your opinions will change the first time your baby looks up at you. They will change a three in the morning when you are so sleep-deprived that you are hanging over the crib in tears, begging your baby to go to sleep so you can sleep. They will change the first time that you tell your angel "No" and he looks into your eyes, smiles and does exactly what you just told him not to. Parenting isn't about following a set-in-stone regiment and getting a socially responsible being out at the end. It's about flexibility, and bending, and failing, and learning to forgive yourself and your child for not meeting the expectations you set. In the end, you will work it out, and you will do fine...

Best of luck,
S.

PS - Sorry to add more, but I did want to chime in on children sleeping through the night at a few weeks of age. First of all, the medical definition of "sleeping through the night" is one 5-hour stretch, so when you hear that a 12-week old baby should be able to sleep through the night, that is what it means. Second, it is neither normal nor desirable for small babies to sleep all night long. The arousal reflex that causes them to wake up is also what protects them from SIDS. Children who sleep so deeply for so long have an increased chance of suffering from SIDS, which can be about suffocation, but can also be about their bodies falling so deeply into sleep that they simply shut down.

PPS - I second the recommendation for New Chapter prenatals. I have been taking them for a week, and I notice unlike any other vitamin I've ever taken, these are being absorbed by my body, so they don't flush down the toilet the next day, KWIM?!

Hi J.,
We used the Babywise schedule on both our kids (girl 4, boy 2) and couldn't say enough good about it. They were both sleeping through the night in 8 weeks and that was such a huge blessing. Now, our two year old always takes a morning nap and they both take an afternoon nap almost at the same time everyday, which gives me a much needed break. They both go down about 730p and get up around 630a or 7am. So, I would say the schedule for us was a great success for both our kids and a huge blessing for my husband and me. I have heard other people bash Babywise but really haven't figured out why. With the feed, play, sleep schedule it is a little different then what most people are used to but it made since to us so we ran with it.
God Bless!!

I wore out my copy of what to expect when you are expecting when I was pregnant, it really was useful in my case.
I have a group of roommates from college that still get together several times a year. Two of them are baby wise mommies and they swear by it. one has 3 kids, 2 who are baby wise babies and one not, she says she wishes she had known about baby wise before--and the other one also just had her third, all baby wise babies. I was given the book when I got pregnant and I sat down and read it and I just felt overwhelmed by the structure of it. I am not a highly structured person. I opted not to go that route. I see the value in it and if you like to have routine it is a really good way to go. Being a military family with changing schedules and with my personality it just didn't work for me. I had to find a less rigid routine for myself. So two of six of us love the program. One wasn't at the last meeting so I don't know if her babies are baby wise or not, and one is just now pregnant with her first--between us there are 9 babies. and 5 are baby wise babies. lol so there are some statistics for you anyway.
Good for you preparing now!! I agree, take your prenatals if you aren't already. They made me sick so I got a prescription for folic acid and took Flintstone vitimins. I had too much iron in the prenatals for my body.
Good for you! and good luck!

A newborn's stomach is the size of a marble--hence the reason they eat so often. You just have to wait until they get physically bigger and can hold more food before they can sleep longer. You can have routine, and get them to sleep, but I think it is impractical to expect a month or two month old to sleep through the night. 5-hours is the defination of "sleeping though the night" for most pediatric nurses, so keep that in mind too.

-The best pregnancy book I had was once I got for free from my ultrasound tech--I forget the name, but it is purple-y hardbound covered with a spiral binding. It was GREAT!!! Very practical, week-by-week guide.
-Dr. Sears is OK for pregnancy and childbirth, but not OK for childraising.
-I hated the What to Expect series. Not useful at all.
-Loved SuperBabyFood, although the author is a bit crazy, she gives great advice about making your own food and when to start with certain foods.

If you have any problems getting pregnant, don't worry. It isn't quite as easy to do as they tell you when you're in HS ("If you even look at a boy, you'll get pregnant!"). Try for a year before you start to worry.

To be honest, when my children grow up and have their own children, if they buy that book I will cry myself to sleep forever!

I understand that the newer versions are watered down, but that man looks at children as advisaries to be conquered and I honestly have to use for any "wisdom" that comes from this point of view. Sure, some of the things may work...but coming from the "you against me" mindset, I find no value in it.

Dr William Sears, is the "expert" I'd listen to. He had "actual" credetials and has never misled or overstepped the boundaries in his advice or advertised support, as has "MR EZZO" who lied about all the professional supporters he had to his theory...

Good luck to you, and PLEASE, PLEASE, follow you're own wisdom, your own intuition, and your own sense of what's loving and kind to raising your child(ren) over ANY one elses.

I am personally a fan of babywise. They are very strict in their techniques but I just took the basics and did what I felt comfortable with and both of my girls slept through the night by 9 weeks old. I never let them cry for longer than 15 minutes (even then I was checking at least every five). The book even says that every child is different and that you should be flexible and adapt the structure to your individual child. My girls were very different but adjusting to their individual needs with a basic routine worked and we have had much success in the sleep department. Good Luck!

It worked fabulously for us. I didn't buy it until my daughter was 5 weeks old, so we were a little late starting it. Before reading it, my daughter wasn't on any type of schedule and our life was totally crazy and out of control. After sticking with the schedule outlined in the book (we adjusted it a bit to fit our needs and our daughter's needs)she became a much better baby. She was sleeping through the night by 7 1/2 (7 hours)weeks. She is now 3 and has never had issues with sleeping or eating. We would put her in her crib when she was awake and she'd fall asleep on her own. BabyWise was recommended to me by a neighbor who already had 3 older kids and newborn twins (who were still in the hospital at the time because they were really early). She used it on her other 3 kids and was planning on using it for her twins when they came home from the hospital. Our 2nd child is due in 3 1/2 weeks and I'm planning on starting out day one with him. Hope this helps. Good luck & I hope you get pregnant quickly!

PS. Always do what you think is best for your family. Try it and if it doesn't work for you, then try something else. You will be the mom and nobody knows better than you do about their individual needs. Trust yourself!

Hi J.,

I would love to help you with advice for BabyWise. I am an RN and I have had 4 children, and have utilized this concept with all of them. They all slept through the night at 9 to 10 weeks of age, with no problems. It is a wonderful program, and I would encourage you to consider using it. It is not harmful, but actually just the opposite. It gives baby the peace of mind knowing that things are constant and secure in his or her world. Good luck!

J.,

Babywise worked for all three of my babies. It did not cause any harm. They are all normal kids who know they are loved. Even now at ages 9, 6, and 2, they have wonderful eating and sleeping habits. I would suggest giving Babywise at least three months (it won't take that long) and I think you will like it.

I have a sister in law who did not use Babywise. Her little guy is 13 months old and is still waking her up once or twice a night to nurse back to sleep and everyone in their home is exhausted. The baby has no idea how to get himself to sleep and nobody is happy.

Please take care of yourself now and when the baby comes.

You will probably get some responses that tell you how bad "Babywise" and the author are. My mom, who had 10 babies, will tell you that the concepts in Babywise are as old as dirt and they have worked forever. That book just does a good job explaining the idea and being specific about what to do. As a first time mom, the book can help you decide what kind of mom you want to be.

Good luck,
Theresa

We love BabyWise. We just use the parts we like. It is possible to have a routine. We currently have a baby just under a month who has been on a schedule for about two weeks already. She is our third to use it with. We eat, have wake time, and then go to sleep independently. She eats 2.5-3 hours during the day (around 8:00 a.m. to 10:30 p.m.) and goes around 5-6 hours at night. Not quite sleeping through the night by definition since we're up around 3, but a huge relief. She started sleeping 4-5 hours at 2 weeks. Our first son slept 7 hours at under 2 weeks. Second son was a bit later, but still in the stats they give in the book. We love it! Have a ton of friends who have used it.

Another must see is the video "The Happiest Baby on the Block" by Dr. Harvey Karp. It cured our son's colic in 10 minutes. Literally. It was a life-saver. Save the time and watch the video. My cousin was very unimpressed with the book.

With these two, every one has commented on how quiet and content our babies are. We've done BabyWise 3 times and Happiest Baby with the last two. Kudos on your head start. Hope you get pregnant soon! GL!

So in my opinion, you do what works best for you. If Babywise is it, then do it. Others use their own method. When you have a baby, you will realize that they are all different. My son was very early and jaundiced so I had to feed him on demand per my pediatrician for his first month to 6 weeks of life. Then he went through a major growth spurt and was nursing all the time! Now that he is almost 5 months old and at a very healthy weight, it is OK for me to do some sort sleep schedule like in Baby Wise. He just in the last month began sleeping through the night and still wakes to eat once or sometimes twice.

I say read and follow your gut when you have your baby. Another really good book I wish I would have read pre baby is Secrets of the Baby Whisperer by Tracy Hogg. Also any book by Dr. Sears is also great!!

Good Luck!

Read reviews of Baby Wise on Amazon, Barnes & Noble, Border, etc. You'll see it's one of the most polarizing parenting books out there. You'll find people either love it or hate it. That being said, there's no harm in reading the book and forming your own opinion.

When we had our daughter, our main nurse at St. Joe's highly recommended it. When I asked her about the controversy, she simply said to read it and take from it what we wanted. That would be my advice to you.

I also read The Happiest Baby on the Block and highly recommend it. The Baby Whisperer is supposed to be a kinder, gentler approach to Baby Wise and I've heard good things about it too but haven't read it.

Best of luck!

I know many women with happy and healthy babies that love the Babywise technique. It has some good points even if you do not follow it completely. I think the main reason the book was so controversial is because some mom's misinterpreted the recommendations about feedings and were not feeding their babies when they were hungry.

My advice is to always feed your baby when they are hungry and do whatever gets you and your baby the most amount of sleep and keeps you both happy. With my son, we broke a lot of the rules - we often put him down with a bottle or held him until he was asleep instead of putting him down when he was awake. I tried letting him cry it out, but he would cry so long it just felt cruel. After awhile he didn't need the extra heps falling asleep and he started going down on his own while he was still awake, without any help. He's just about 3 now and we don't have any problems with napping or waking during the night.

The books are great, but follow your instinct and do what you feel is best for your baby.

Another good book that deals with sleeping is the Baby Whisperer.

My advice is throw out all the books and go with your gut. I have 3 boys and I read tons of books with the first trying to figure out the "right" way to do things. I got frutrated and depressed because nothing seemed to work. They all give different advice so it can be very confusing. If you do read them, take what you like from each book (I do like the WTE books)and try it. Your baby will be unique so you just have to find what works for you and him/her.

Take it from me -- Babywise is WONDERFUL!!! It's all about routine. Babies AND their mommies and daddies thrive on routine. I have three kids under the age of 4 and all three were sleeping through the night when they were 3 months-old. This made for a happy mom and three happy babies. Who wouldn't want that? Babywise is not a fluke -- it is common sense! It's all based around a flexible routine: eat, waketime, naptime, and a consistent bedtime. I think the reason why many toddlers are terrors is because they have no such routine. Think how you feel the next morning when you have missed out on a few hours of sleep the night before? You tend to be a little more "edgy" or ornery. That's exactly how a sleep-deprived baby or toddler feels. So -- these are the very reasons why I think Babywise is a MUST for every parent of a newborn. Don't discount this book -- it really is wonderful!!

Wow! You've gotten a ton of responses! My sister and I have both used Babywise with success. My daughter started sleeping through the night around 8 weeks. I had trouble with my daughter preferring sleep to eating. If I had not put her on a schedule per babywise, she wouldn't have gained weight I and I would have had to supplement with formula, instead of exclusively breastfeeding. The medical community currently seems to favor on demand feeding, but this just didn't work for us.

I do have another sister who choose not to use babywise or scheduling, and in my opinion, it is more difficult. When I baby-sit for him, I have no idea why he is crying and have to guess, with the babywise system, you usually can tell what the crying is about based on where your are in the sleep-wake-eat cycle and solve the problem without too much trial and error.

So do your own research, and try what you feel is right for you. In the end, every baby is different, and you have to do what works for you and your growing family.

If you are not already taking prenatals, start them NOW. It is best to start 3 months in advance if possible. I started taking them almost a year before actually becoming pregnant, but I had a great pregnancy. Also, I would expand your knowledge beyond what to expect when you are expecting. It is a narrow ways of thinking. If you read some other books, then you would be able to get other ideas. You may like the way of what to expect, but at least you would have some insight. Check with your local library to see what they offer (the variety was better than the local book stores for me). If you don't know who you will be using for your healthcare provider, start researching it now (and have a second choice). You will also want to see someone in advance of getting pregnant if possible. They can also suggest some books. All I am saying is there are a lot of ways of birthing and parenting. Don't limit yourself to what everyone else seems to be doing. Find out what is best for you. I decided to birth at home naturally and everyone gave me a hard time. After it was all said and done, everyone now agrees it was easier because of it. I'm not saying birthing at home is right for you, but you need to look at multiple options to know it isn't.

I'm a nurse and part of a lactation support team at a major hospital. I read Babywise when a friend brought it over shortly after my son was born. I felt a little strange about it when I read it, but decided to try it for a few days. To me, it just felt wrong. Later that year I went to one of our lactation support meetings and the lactation consultant talked about it. She said there have been a lot of moms interested in Babywise and that the studies have shown it doesn't support lactation. If you truly try to stick to the schedule, the baby may not get enough breastmilk because the mother's supply won't establish itself adequately. I think it's fine to try and get a baby on a schedule a little later (when they're a few months older), but I wouldn't try this during the first few months while you're trying to get breastfeeding established. Of course, if you're not breastfeeding, it may not be much of a concern. I think that ultimately it's up to you to see how you feel. Mother's know best what's right for their baby. I felt strange about it so it obviously wasn't right for me.