How to Make My Daughter Stop Hitting

You said you grab her hand to make her stop, but it doesn't work. Have you tried putting her down, telling her she is not allowed to hit, and walking away? She'll hate the lack of attention.

Hold her hand, say "no!", put her in time out for 1 minute.
Keep doing this and she will learn.
You just have to keep at it.

I recommend just continuing to say firmly, "No hit, hands are not for hitting," and "It's okay to be mad, but it is not okay to hurt mommy." She may seem young, but if said consistently, she should understand what you are saying quite quick. It has worked for my kids.

I think all kids go through this. I similarly tried saying no, and it just didn't work. I tried two different things. First, I would tell her that we don't hit, and then tell her what she could instead do with her hands. For instance, I would tell her that she could give me 'love' and gently pet my arm or she could clap her hands. I guess this also distracts her. Second, I think time outs work. Just set her down in a set place, and tell her 'time out, we don't hit.' I know she is young, but I think it is actually easier to get something across this way at this age, although keep the timeout very short.

When my kids hit I grab their hands gently but firmly and hang onto them and make them look at me (as much as they can at this age) and tell them that we don't hit. I also agree with making them sit down for a time out for a minute or so. They cannot sit that long. But I also agree that they get the concept.

Try ignoring it, maybe she likes the attention she gets from your reaction?!

Sometimes the way you say "no" makes all the difference. I know this sounds cruel but you have to look angry, you have to make her see that you mean business when you say "no". My daughter likes to climb, at times I've actually made her cry but given the alternative I would much rather make her cry then have her falling off something or getting seriously hurt.

Deepen your voice and knit (scrunch up) your brow when you tell her "no". If she cries let her for a second or two then pull her close and comfort her. Make sure to remind her gently of why you said "no" in the first place.

I hope this works for you. Good luck.

My son is 17 mo old and he had a hard time with the hitting thing too. What I have done is to have his brother (9yrs) sit down by us and I would rub his back or arm a little and tell Austin "nice". Now if he tries to start the hitting, I just tell him to be nice and he will start to gently rub. It has worked like a charm. I'm not sure that it always registers with kids that they are causing pain to someone. This did work for us though. Give it a shot. You don't have anything to lose at this point. Good Luck Shannon

hello S.!
i totally agree the other mom. my daughter tryed the hitting thing. you have to tell her no. " it hurts mommy when she does that" believe it or not she understand alot more then you think. my daughter will still try it when she see's my cousin hit, but i tell her no you dont hit. and oh she stops. just stick to it. make sure she knows you mean it! good luck!

I agree with the moms that said to be firm and consistent. The thing nobody mentioned is that it will take some time. It will not be a magic cure. You have to really keep at it. It may take a week or two of constantly saying "no." Also, does your dd talk? My dd just turned one and we're really trying to work on her speech. When she gets frustrated or hits, I grab her hands, tell her no and ask her to use her words. She understands what I'm saying, but just doesn't talk much yet. Keep at it! And you're not a bad mom if you tell her no and she cries or acts like the world is ending. Just be firm and strong!!!

Hi there. Why don't you give her a special stuffed animal, that is for her anger. Explain to her it hurts you or other people when she hits them, but if she is mad enough to hit something - use the "anger buddy". Has worked like a charm with many other kids I know, good luck!

I don't have any advice, just solace; my son did the same thing with me, between 18 months and 2 1/2 years. He would hit, bite and knock his head against mine whenever he was frustrated or angry. He only did this to me, no one else, and nothing I did could change it, no matter what methods I tried; so it didn;t reach other people, but boy, it bugged me. The good news is that he did grow out of it. We had been teaching him sign language, so we could communicate very well with im before his language was in full command, but all I can guess is perhaps negative emotions were things he just couldn't express effectively yet, and this was his way of doing it. Hopefully your child will grow out of it as well.

What worked well for us is to say, "Gentle touch" and hold her hand and show her how to touch gently. Everytime she would hurt, we would say this. She quickly learned what that meant.

My son is a year old and does the same thing. I have finally figured out that he doesn't hit to hit me (or others), he is trying to communicate and since I don't understand him, he gets frustrated and hits or pushes my hands away. This happens within a second or two of him getting frustrated. I found with him that if I stay really gentle and keep a sweet voice, and be consistent, he will let me do what I need to do. For example, he does not like having his mouth wiped at all. When he sees me approaching his face, he gets frustrated already. But if I say really gentle: "No, no sweetie, no hitting. Mommy needs to wipe your mouth really fast," etc and just keep talking in a sweet voice and be gentle, he will stop and let me wipe his mouth. I tried the stern approach but my son is really sensitive and gets upset when I raise my voice to him. The gentle approach works for us, causes less frustration for him and less stress for me. I am sure that when he learns how to communicate and I learn h/t understand him better, the hitting or pushing away will stop. Hang in there and keep working with your daughter. She'll learn not to hit.

Ignore her, I see this all the time with the little girl i babysit for. if you are holding her and she hits you put her down and walk away, holding her hand down to prevent her from hitting is only causeing a battle of wills and a fun little game for her to play. so if she realizes taht every time she strikes you that she's going to get sat wherever and left on ehr own and not get the attention she is wanting by hitting in the first place it should stop pretty quickly. good luck.

My one year old does the same thing. My other daughter did it too when she was the same age, except she hit herself. She grew out of it and I'm sure our one-year-olds will too. I've read and agree with the fact that they're just frustrated and unable to communicate in another way. The more she's able to talk, she'll quit the hitting. Of course by then, it'll be something else.

My daughter did it as an attention getter, a way to see my reaction. I would be right there playing with her and she would just bat at me. It wasn't so much to hurt me so I didn't want to punish her and we don't use "no" because I didn't want her saying it to me (saved for dangerous situations only). I would always say "I don't like when you hit me." or "It hurts when you hit me." and then get up and walk away. Now that she is a little older, we throw in the next line, "I do not want to play with you if you are going to..." She understands what I don't like and that it will get a negative reaction from me.

My son did the same thing. Keep it up holding her hand. I held my sons hand until he got mad enough to quit. This is just a phase and will stop in time. They do this b/c they aren't able to voocalize their frustration and this is the only way they know how. It completely stops when they begin using their words.

stop her hand in motion & tell her "NO" do not let her make contact it the hit. She needs to learn in love with your authority.

I also have (had) this problem with my son beginning at about the same age. He physician suggested that when the hitting occurs do not respond to it other than gently directing your child to the corner, against the wall, or any designated area. Do not say anything, do not look at her, and most importantly do not hit her back. When he smacks I will pick him up and take him and stand him against the the in our kitchen facing the wall. Very rarely he will chase me as I am walking away and I will just put him right back. Just continue this until they stay (not very long at all). Initially he would hit his head on the wall over and over again and I was assured by the doctor that he will not hurt himself. It might hurt but he will not injure himself. It is amazing how effective this has been. There have been times that my son has started to raise his hand to hit and then thought about it and did not hit. He is now 22 months old and his hitting is very infrequent (Thank God!). Hopefully this will help you also. My doctor also suggested the book 1-2-3 Magic (not sure of the author right off hand) and I found it at Borders or Barnes and Noble. The book is geared towards 2 or 3 years olds and up but it may be helpful for you as your daughter gets older. Also, you only let them stand in timeout for about 1 minute for each year of age that they are. I am amazed at how well this has worked.

Good Luck
T.

If she listens to other people, then that means you're not being consistent with her. Any child that listens to other people, but is disrespectful with their mom knows that they can get away with it with their mom and not other people. The best thing you can do is pick one punishment when it comes to her hitting, and do it EVERY TIME. If you don't, she won't stop.