How to Handle "Hitting"

My daughter is 19 months old and she hits too!! She started a little before 18 months. She hits EVERYTHING... people, the floor, doors... whatever is closest to her when she gets mad!! I think it's just that they don't know how to get across what they want or deal with their feelings yet...

Unfortunately they are still kinda little for a real time out and understand... but I try this sometimes...

When my daughter hits I tell her a firm NO and put her hand to her side. Then I put her down and walk away from her, or if she's down I will just walk away... they really don't like having you withdraw your attention that way. No matter how she acts after I walk away I ignore her unless she is doing something that can hurt herself, etc....

I have noticed that she doesn't hit me now like she used to but my MIL who doesn't do this gets the heck whacked out of her sometimes!! So I am gonna have her start doing it to... she will still whack inanimate things but is learning that hurts her hand... so I think she will hopefully find a new way to deal with frustrations soon!!

When the other kids are around if he is doing this I would do the same and put him down but isolate him somehow from everyone else...

Good luck... I hope things get better soon....

My son also started hitting at about that age. I would always just hold onto his hands (or else he would hit me), look him straight in the eye and tell him "No, we do not hit" very firmly. Don't yell but don't have a nice voice either. He has to know that you are not pleased. I would also pretty much ignore him for a couple of minutes after that. I would even tell him that when he hits it makes it so that people do not want to spend time with him. It took him a little while to figure it out but he's doing just fine now. He just turned 2 and he very rarely hits anymore (and he's in daycare full time).

Good luck,
B.

Melanie gave excellent advise.

I want to add 2 comments:
1) Be patient with yourself and with him. This is very common behavior at this age and it will take a while for him to learn how to respond appropriately.
2) If you feel like you cannot get it under control and that you've tried everything you can, discuss it with your doctor. We have just learned that my son has sensory integration issues. We had an appointment with an OT this week and we've already (yes, already!) noticed some improvement. We have a long way to go, but without professional guidance, we'd still be struggling (and risk being kicked out of daycare).

Good luck,
P.

I work in a daycare and have children infant - 24months. I am also having this problem with 3 of my boys in my class. I have found that they like the attention (even though it is negative) and will continue to do it to get me to come to them. I gave up on the time outs and giving them attention when they hit. Now what I have found that is really working is not talking to them but removing them from the child that they are hitting. I say no no and cuddle the child they have been after. They do not like the attention the other child gets so they are being nicer. They also get a hug when they are about to hit and I say no no and they stop. Good luck.

Get him a little basketball hoop or a small basket to throw balls into. Same motion with the arms, but comes with more positive attention.

If you've tried the time outs, the naughty chair, etc... it may be that he just needs his own time with you. Maybe before the other kids arrive, and after they leave, make time that it just for the two of you. Let him know he's still your special little guy, and that the other kids aren't taking you away. Of course, having other kids around is going to be an adjustment. Having to share toys, time, and space, he's going to have to get used to it. The good news is, they have to get used to it sometime... and he's still young enough that you have a chance to stop all the bad habits before they get worse. Be patient... and make sure you make 'mommy and me' time for just the two of you... and I bet he'll be acting better in no time. =0)