How to Get My Toddler to Happily Eat in Her Highchair

I'd let her eat wherever she wants, and let her feed herself, make a mess etc. and resist the TV temptation - it's a really bad habit that will be hard to break. Eating is best done in a relaxed calm environment, better for digestion, stopping when full (so as not to overeat).

Hi C.,
Feeding her in front of TV is easier but will lead to later problems. If later you want to have family dinners with no TV on you should start it now. What worked for us is putting the high chair next to the window (in the dinning room) and just watch the cars and people. Use it as educational time too - point the number of cars, colours, type of cloths that people wear, dogs and etc. I did set up a bird feeder he was able to see from his chair and we did watch the birds - talk again about eating, colours, numbers, mamma bird, daddy bird and etc. Later we just turned the chair at the table and there were no problem at all, because he had used to see about the same view and things. He eats good and still likes to talk about what he sees out there. Eating in front of TV is a big "NO, NO!" even we all like to do it from time to time.

Like everything else in life C. things like TV is best done in moderation of course. I really don't feel like allowing one's toddler, or even younger, watch television is a bad thing. One simply should be conscious of what one's child is watching. There are many, many, many great shows for children to watch and I'm not talking about shows made specifically for young children. I'm talking about shows on Animal Planet, National Geographic, Discovery, TLC (The 'Learning' Channel), The Science Channel and others. It's my opinion that the earlier a child is exposed to nature and the true nature of the animal world, even life and death type situations, the more balanced and the more cognizant of the importance of nature and animals a child will be. This will carry through to their adulthood when they can actually do something about the environment, animal conservation and other issues. The late great Steve Irwin (The Crocodile Hunter) always maintained that we protect what we love...don't waste a millesecond helping your child learn to love ALL creatures great and small and not just the cute cuddly ones. Well that's my opinion anyhow.
Regards,
C. H.

Hi C.:

I have a 14 month old and sometimes I go through the same thing with her. I too have resorted to baby einstein videos during her lunchtime (when it seems to be the hardest). I am worried that it might set a precedent for her to want to watch tv while eating later. Lately I started putting on music instead and sing to her while we eat. It turns out to be a really fun time together and I think she enjoys it. I too give her some pureed foods but mostly finger foods. Maybe try the music?

As a mother of 4 children and an in home child care provider I have seen my share of feeding issues.
My 16th month old was happiest feeding herself during dinner time when we all sit at the table. We started introducing her to the family dinner table when she was about 4 months old. She started becoming very agitated about 10 months old when I was trying to feel her, so we let her have at it!
I would suggest ditching the videos at meal times and save them for cuddle time. Introduce more finger foods and I'm sure she'll love "playing" with her food. You can even do this if she doesn't have many teeth.

Try getting a booster seat that straps to the kitchen table chairs. It will make her feel like a big girl.

Hi C.,
I just went through this with my 19 month old when he turned 1. He just wanted to sit in the big chair and be a big boy and do what his big sister did. I just put away the highchair and let him go for what he wanted to eat and as hard as it is for me to let him make messes, I let him make the mess. Kids want to explore all types if textures and colors and they want to do what the big people are doing. I am not sure this is what you are looking for in advice, but I too wanted him to sit in that darn highchair because I paid good money for it and he seemed to eat more and concentate better when he did eat there, but he just wouldn't. I am guilty of letting my kids watch the tv. I have to get things done and I grew up watching it all the time when I was little and I think I turned out okay. The verdict is still out on that. LOL At least tv for kids now is totally educational. My daughter at the ripe age of three told me that the stop sign is an octagon. She learned it from blues clues! Hope is goes well.

I would try to get her fed before she is "really tired, or we're in a hurry"--which can be challenging sometimes, but much easier in the long run. Also, most kids are ready to feed themselves finger food at this age. I know my daughter LOVED canned carrots, green beans, peas, which were all soft enough for her to eat well on her own.

I also realized my husband and I were SO much happier when we accepted the fact that meal times were also going to become "messy" times now that she's feeding herself. We got her these great long-sleeved bibs from IKEA (2 for $5) and let her go at it! The toddler cutlery (spoons and forks) have been very fun to watch her try, emphasis on try, to use. She feeds herself yogurt, dry cereal, rotini pasta and other things using her "fork".

At 13 months old I would stop feeding her the pureed foods and allow her to eat regular food. As long as you continue to play the "game" she will continue to act the way she does. Stop giving in to the arsenal of plastic items and let her know that when it is time to be in the highchair it is time to eat. When you finish eating then it is time to play. Trust me she will not starve if she misses a couple of meals while you teach her who is in control. This is only the beginning of how; when; and where she is going to see how far she can push you and the "rules".

As we all know, she's not going to starve herself. That being said, if it were me, I'd give her a choice-sit here and eat or get down- plain and simple. I don't think she's too young to learn that. Just know that you might have to put up with her screaming or whatever she does to let out her frustration. But that will only last about three days or so, which is a small price to pay to get through what you're already going through. In difficult situations, I just tell myself "This, too, shall pass!"
Also-if it were me, I certainly wouldn't let her play while she's eating. You might be teaching her that playing at the table is okay. If that works in your family, then that's fine, but if you don't want that behavior, I would nip it the bud now. Again, if she's hungry enough she'll follow the rules you set for her-she won't starve.

I really sounds like she is more ready for big girl foods. I know that my kids after a certain age refuse us just feeding them...we would give them the rice puff to nibble on while we fed them the puree. Cooked carrots are very good also. Our son just turned a year April 2 and he doesn't get any pureed food anymore...other then applesauce and yogurt. So you daughter should be ready!

I just wanted to share what we did for our now 3yr with the same problem. We moved her to a Stokke chair at 12 months of age with there highchair type pad to hold her in. The second we moved her to the table with us she never had a problem again and started moving forward on feeding herself with a spoon and eating more.

At 13 months, she's probably old enough to join in on Family Dinners. You can remove the tray from her highchair and pull her up to the table (if your highchair has adjustable height), or put her in a booster that has a secure belt so she can join the table. It will probably be a bit messy for a while as she learns the fine point of fork and spoon usage (in addition to easier finger foods), but it will be worth it eventually.

Good luck,
T.
www.bornagainresale.net

I have an 18 month old son, he would rather sit at the coffee table to eat. ( I really hate to clean the mess) But this is really the only way he will eat. When i letting him feed him self with the a toddler spoon, he didnt care that he was in his high chair. yea it gets a little messy but it makes for great pictures!!! and it teaches him a new skill.....

(dont forget to take of her shirt so it wont get overed in food!)

hope this helps

Hi , I used to have the same issues , so what I did was swich the high chair for a booster chair in our dinner table he seems like it, and I also play sing wherever takes to feed him, I heard is not to good doing that because that might confused them , 'cause they are not focus in eating , but for me in this time is important that he eats.
I'm also pure some of the food like the fruits , and is because he has just 3 teeth , he eat finger food too, but every time he poo all the food is there so thats why I pure some of them...
about the tv, I would said dont do it anymore, better now that letter , dont forget that comercials are not the best for them ....been a mom is the greates thing ever but it came with a lots work , so we have to try to the best for them even if we are in hurry or tired ....I heard once that when the baby is sleepy and they dont want to eat let them sleep ...
good luck

Hi C.,
I wonder if your daughter has outgrown being spoon fed pureed food. She might be telling you that she wants to do it herself. My kids at that age pretty much only ate finger foods. Sure it may take more time, but that's life. You have to plan on it. Plus, she may be more interested in trying her new foods and fussing less. Maybe you could even introduce a spoon!
Good luck. I hope that helped.

Does she get her own spoon? Even little kids have control issues. When you're giving her pureed food than make sure you both have a spoon. It's time she started learning anyway.

But there is a period of time when you're just going to have to give it up to finger foods. Boil the carrot - it's sweeter that way anyway. Pretty soon she won't even let you feed her.

Good luck!