My 1 Year Old Son Wont Feed Himself or Let Me Feed Him!

he needs to watch you without him involved. Perhaps let him watch another chld. he will get the hang of it just introduce it each day without making an issue just sit in front of him face to face and you eat using a utinsle. Good luck

A.,

After raising three kids I can tell you they are all fascinated by silverware! They act like they want to use it, but mostly just play with it at his age - he is a little young to be using his spoon to feed himself. Try fixing him finger foods, and let him keep trying with the spoon. He'll get the hang of it when he's old enough and if you are feeding him finger foods, you will know he isn't going hungry.

As far as the bottle goes, just quit giving it to him when you are ready. He will drink from his cup when he knows it's his only option.

Good luck and enjoy him as much as you can while he's this little - they grow up way to fast!

N.

Here's the thing. Your child will learn to use his spoon eventually. It's not going to be as late as you may be imagining right now. It's perfectly natural at this age to want only finger food. So put away the spoon and forget it. You can re-introduce that spoon every few weeks. My dad always used to say that fingers were made first. He was so right. Give your little one soups and cooked veggies and fruits he can pick up, mess and all. Don't worry about letting him eat even things like yogurt. Just give him a baby spoon, let him dip it in and he'll figure out that the yogurt will cling to the spoon even when he can't hold it right. That relieves that frustration and anxiety he has from letting the peas and other small veggies roll right off those small spoons. Apple sauce and other things similar does not work as well with spoon training. That sort of thing just slides off too. For spoon training you want yogurt and or pudding. I know, pudding is just sugar and yogurt is advanced food by some peoples standards. Yogurt won't hurt him and any pudding is just a small treat.

Suzi

I'm not sure exactly what you are doing, but here is what worked for me: 1) it's time to start weaning off the bottle, but at the very least, feed him first. No bottle before meals. 2) feed him what you eat, and eat with him. Bring him to the table for meals. This made a huge difference for mine; they want the real stuff. It may mean you have to eat healthier fare, but it's surprising what they'll eat if everyone else is doing it. 3) if he doesn't want to eat, don't fight about it. He's all done. 2-3 bites at this age will sustain him. The more you stress, the more he will fight back.

I agree, he's feeding off the negative energy and discourse he is creating with you and your husband. I would give him BOTH a spoon and a fork and tell him that's all he gets...if he throws them on the floor they stay there. Load up the fork with stuff he can spear (fruit, etc.) and show him how to do it. Spoons are really hard and tricky to get initially so I'd say you are pretty even on frustrating him with it...LOL...just keep with the finger foods and attempting the utensils but don't play into the "mommy keep picking it up bit".

My pediatrician told me at age one to do tough love and cold turkey when it came to feeding. My son had refused the sippy cup the entire first 12 months of his life. Only the bottle, ever. I thought he (the pediatrician) was awful, but I too was at my wits end, so i agreed to try it. We threw the bottles out - we did not make a production about it, just pitched them and never said the word bottle again. Offered only the sippy and did not help. I had my mind set that this would take a week. It took ONE DAY. One day of him screaming and me just handing over the sippy. By the end of the first day he'd figured it all out and we were good to go.
Food was the same. I constantly offered finger foods along with thick spoon foods. For instance I put vanilla pudding (lots of calcium) in a bowl, stripped him naked, put him in his highchair with a spoon and let him have at it. He was happy and messy and barely got any in, but within three days he had the spoon thing down. I always had finger foods I knew he could eat as well - I didn't want him to starve!
Hang in there, this will pass and you'll wonder why it was such a struggle! :)

You have to let it go. As much as you want to, you can't force him to eat. Offer him the foods, let him eat what he wants and be done with it. I know it's hard as a parent b/c you want to see them eat so you know they're getting what they need, but it's just not that easy in reality!! He will eat what he needs. He's at the age where he wants to start asserting some independence and food is an easy way to do it. It's a game for him. The more you try and force him the more he will resist. Give him finger foods and put the spoon and fork up there with him. If he uses them great, if not fine. I thought my daughter would never get the idea of a spoon, but one day she was interested and that was that. Hang in there. Create less stress for yourself and just commit to not worrying about it!

My son just turned one last month, too. He holds his forks and spoons really tight at meal time, but they do not help him get food in his mouth. He just holds them while the other hand shovels food in like there is no tomorrow! Every now and again he tries to use the fork or spoon. When he gets frustrated that he can't do it, I help him guide the utensil to the food. After one or two bites, it is quickly forgotten and he again uses his hands to get his food in his mouth.

I tend to not give him super messy foods right now. I give him lots of finger foods, and he is doing great nutritionally. Some of his recent favorites are rice and cheese (the cheese helps it stick together), small chunks of chicken, strawberries, eggs (scrambled or over hard), potatoes, peas, etc. Whatever we are eating, that's what he gets. He loves it!

Oh, we also taught him an "all done" sign so he can tell us when he's had enough. That helps. Before, he would throw his food on the ground, but now he just tells us he's all done.

He's only one and we aren't all the same. Some of us mature earlier and others a bit later. It's 'around 1 year' so I would not force a child to feed himself with spoons and forks until he is ready, within reason, of course. Give him a spoon to hold and try to eat with while you feed him at the same time. I raised 8 kids who all eat with spoons, forks and knives and I never forced them use them at barely one if they weren't ready. I would relax with the time frames and you'll know when he's ready. He will then enjoy eating and not remember it as a battle and negative time. The same with the bottle. I really don't see that a few months more with a bottle will ruin him for life. Enjoy him, relax and just don't let him go too far into the 'around 1yr.' but when he's more ready. Don't try to raise him 'by the book' because it won't work for all kids.

Our son is going to be 3 in Nov. and he can use fork & spoon, but will still revert back to feeding himself with his fingers. I think you son is just still young and trying to learn. Don't fight it so much. If he eats with his hands just be happy he is eating! :-) The eating with utensils will come with time. Relax and Good luck.

I wouldn't worry about him using a spoon yet. I would choose foods that he can eat on his own. He is trying to be independent. My pediatrician said not to worry about how much they are eating and that toddlers know when they are hungry. If they only take 2 bites, it's ok. They will eventually decide to eat. You're not starving them, just letting them have a say in the matter. Let him have the spoon to hold and eventually he will start to use it. Also, you might try not to give him a bottle with a meal. We always waited 20-30 minutes after a meal to give our daughter a bottle. Or simply try to put the bottle contents in the cup and get rid of the bottle. We have a 2 1/2 year old and an 8mo old. They both have done very well on food and feeding themselves. The younger one is starting to show her independence, wanting to hold onto a spoon during meals.
Good luck! Hope some of this helps.
S.

Don't be in such of a hurry to take his bottle away. He will give it up when neccesary and start eating on his own. If you force him to this before he's ready, then it will be tougher on you.

my son and daughter weren't very good with utensils at a year old. so my hubby gave them finger foods. the pictures he sent to me were comical, i did moan when i saw the bowl of food upturned on top of their heads....thank god i didn't have to give them baths afterwards.

chicken sticks, cheerios, fruit diced up in small pieces, sweet potatoes, squash...pasta...very good choices.

Its an independence thing, you will have to just give him the food and sorta act like he is on his own. If you want to ditch the bottle, you can do that all at once by throwing them out. He will get what he needs, believe it or not. And the phase will pass!

give it up, Mom. Your last line says it all! You & your husband are frustrated....& your son is feeding off of that negative energy. That's what kids do!

Relax, take the spoon away, & give him only finger foods. At the same time, eliminate the bottle...use only the cup... & don't give in. You are in charge. If you don't give in, if you don't reduce yourself to "playing" games, if you make this a matter-of-fact part of life... eventually he'll eat. He will not starve. & your life will be happier, meals will be stress free, & you will be in control.....not dancing to his tune!

& when finger food is not an option (although I always traveled with finger foods), simply allow him to eat what he will with you feeding him & then that's it. No coercion. Simply mealtime is over & don't give in. Just bump up the timing on that next meal. He'll learn to follow your direction! & as a heads up, spoon control doesn't come until closer to 18 months....with some kids not gaining that skill until almost 2. Good Luck.

he's only one! :) i heard a lot of "advice" when my son (now 3) was turning 1, that age 1 is about the time to start weaning from the bottle, so that is a "guideline", but it's not a hard rule, like anything else. you have to go on his timeline. it sounds like he's learing, you just need to be patient. as long as he's feeding himself with his fingers, that's great. one is a little young to expect him to use a spoon. just give him some time! good luck, i'm sure he'll get it. if you pressure him it just frustrates him and you!