How to Get My 22 Month Old Son to Quit Hitting!!

22 months is still so young, maybe instead of trying to stop him from hitting you could give him something he can hit. Maybe he's mad or frustrated and has no idea how to deal with these feelings. Do you have a large stuffed animal you can call the angry bear that he can hit? As he gets older you can tell him how you feel when you're mad and how you deal with it instead of hitting.
I worked with 2-3 year olds and some of them just needed to release their frustrations, I had an angry corner where they could throw soft balls and beat up pillows. After a few weeks I didn't even have to tell them to not hit each other or push each other they would remove themselves from the situation before they melted down and beat up the pillows then come back to the group.

My 21 month-old hits when she's upset about something (usually just when she's tired). She just hits anything that happens to be near her - her brother, me, the table, whatever. I'm a firm believer that hitting your son's hand will do nothing but confuse him and make him keep hitting - but it sounds like you've already figured that out. I don't like hitting. Anyone, anytime, ever.

Anyway what I've done with my little one that is totally working is that I taught her "gentle hands." And when I say "gentle hands" to her, I rub her hand very gently. After I did that a few times over a couple of days I asked her to show me gentle hands and she totally did it to me - rubbed my hand super gently. I made a big deal about it and gave her a lot of praise. I ask her to do it sometimes spontaneously, not just when she's upset. So far, when she does get tired/upset and starts to hit things or seems like she's about to, I ask her to show me gentle hands and she calms down and does it. I give her a huge hug and tell her how awesome she is. I can't believe it's actually working; she's incredibly strong-willed. Anyway I think that giving them confidence and love & praise will serve both of you so much better in the long run than endless time-outs, frustration, hitting a pillow or stuffed animal, (I'm not a fan of that either), etc. Good luck!!

then he needs to be in time out ALL DAY LONG. he will get it, you just have to be stronger and smarter than him. there IS a solution. you just have to have the fortitude to do it! hang in there...it's worth it!

if not now, then at what point do you make the discipline stick?

tell the brother to hit him back as hard as he can. and make him cry he should quit if brother does it.

I understand you. I asked this exact question a few days ago about my 17 month old. My son hits mostly little girls (awesome, right?!), b/c I think he's around girls all the time and because he's starting out to be a little ladies man and he just likes them! ;) He never does it when he's angry or anything, for him it's more of an inquisitive thing. It is so so hard, I feel you! I got a couple really good responses so if you're interested go into my profile and look at it. One of them was similar to what Abby H. said about gentle hands. I've been doing it for a few days now and it seems to be sort of working. I too use a time out but struggle with its effectiveness on such a young kiddo. I feel you, trust me, I do. My son can't be redirected or removed from the situation either, he goes right back to it, and putting him in time out all day will not work as he will have no idea why he's in time out. Hang in there and if you find any thing fool proof, please clue me in too!

He can't communicate effectively yet - so the hitting thing works for now.

When he hits pick him up, put him in time out for a few minutes and tell him his favorite thing/toy/whatever is going away for the rest of the day. Don't yell don't make a fuss - jsut mater of fact, calm. Remove the favorite thing and put it away, out of sight, out of reach. Do the same thing any time he hits and it will stop.

We tried the thing with letting the big brother hit back, but that backfired. It just turned into a boxing match. It was worth a try, though :)

One awesome Mama from this board told me to try, "If you hit, you sit." It's short and sweet, and they don't like it one bit! It'll take some careful watching, but if you make him sit down on the floor or a stair every time he hits, he will stop in a week or so. My hitter was a little older (about 2) when we started it, and he wouldn't sit still. I ended up having to force him into a sitting position (I made sure I didn't hurt him), then pinned his hands to the floor with my own hands. He freaked every time, but I repeated "If you hit, you sit," several times. He only had to sit for about 60 seconds is all. Then I'd say, "Okay, you can get up now, but if you hit again, you sit again."

Like I said, about a week was all it took to end this super frustrating phase!

What happens if you totally ignore it? Or, is your older son old enough to say to his younger brother "I'm not playing with you if hit" and walk away from him? At that age it seems like it's probably about attention (rather than aggression), and perhaps the less attention the better. I think you are right-spanking for hitting makes no sense and probably just teaches more hitting! Good luck to you!

Maybe try ignoring the behavior. You know kids, they love the attention
whether it is negative or positive. Hopefully it is just a phase and it will pass.