My son attends montessori school and is turing 3 at the end of the month. My husband and I decided to invite his friends from class to his party. We obtained a list of the childrens names that are friends with our son from his teacher. I wrote the cards out and gave it to the teacher to give to the childrens parents. I am worried that nobody from his class will attend his party because we don't know any of the parents. But the reason why we invited the kids from school was to get to know the parents and the kids a little better. I'm afraid if nobody from his class attends my son will be very upset and that is the last thing I want to do for his birthday. I don't get to meet the parents because everyone picks up their child at different times. Any advise on how to encourage parents to have their kids attend his party? Or how to deal with the situation of no kids or too few attending? (I've invited 13 kids from school and 4 of our friends kids )
Thank you everyone for your suggestions and support. My son's 3rd birthday party was a success. Eleven out of thirteen parents from school rsvp of which 7 were affirmative. Although only 5 kids from school actually attended there were a total of 11 kids at the party including my son and daughter. Most importantly, my son had so much fun and was talking about his party for several days. I also met some parents and started setting up some playdates with the kids from my sons class. In fact, some of the playdates are with kids that were invited but could not attend. So all in all everything went well and I want to thank everyone (and so many of you ladies responded to my concern) for her suggestions and positive reinforcements.
Hi, I'm L.... Give the parents a call, and connect with them. You may only end up with 3, or 4 kids,but that's still good. A personal connection is always good, and with Montessori school i would think the people would be a more intuitive, open minded group than just public school parents. L.
Did you mention in the invitations that parents were encouraged to stay? That's what we did with the few we invited and surprisingly none of the parents took advantage of that option. They left their children whereas when my son has gotten invitations, I appreciate being invited to stay because I'm not leaving him with people I don't know.
My son has not had a birthday party with friends from school, but has attended two recently and we did not know the parents. I think most people will be happy to come and celebrate your son's birthday. Plus, it looks like you've invited 17 kids...your son will probably be so excited if only a few friends from school attend. It is a great way to get to know other parents though. Most of our son's friends ride the bus to Pre-K so we never get to meet them except for birthday parties. Good luck!
Hi M.,
It's pretty normal to invite school friends to a party, and at 3 years old, as long as the moms or dads know that they can stay, they aren't likely to decline an invitation simply because they don't know you. When my first child was 4 and in preschool, I didn't know any of the moms or dads of kids in her class - I worked and she took the nursery school bus to and from our daycare provider's home - and many of her classmates came to her party.
I hope your son enjoys his party!
First of all a good rule of thumb is never invite more children to a party than the age of the birthday child. You may be surprised that parents will drop off their children and not attend themselves. I hope you have help because you COULD end up with 17 kids and no other parents.
The odds are you will have at least your friends kids whenich would be better for a 4 year old. Really THIRTEEN that is a bit much. Did you put in the invitations parents please attend? or "are welcome"?
Why not invite the parents too? Or at least the Moms. I realise that may be a lot of people, but it will meant that you have a whole lot of help. I'm sure they are all feeling the same way and are just waiting for someone to break the ice, Good luck.
Wow! You worry way too much. Chill and enjoy the party.
Our son also attends Montessori and for the same reason as you, we do not know all the parents, or children. Since September we have been invited to four of the childrens birthday parties, none of whome we knew - we attended and it is a great way to begin meeting them. You'll be surprised how many will come - enjoy!
From my experience you will get some families to attend. There is always another family just like your looking to meet other parents from their childs class and that is the perfect chance.
You'll be surprised at the responses, trust me!
To echo the other responses you will get some of your son's classmates to attend, but probably not all. When my daughter was 3 we invited a mix of school and non-school friends and ended up with 8 of her closest friends. Since she is a Fall b-day we arranged for a family hayride, pumpkins, apple-picking and clearly indentified that families were welcome. When she turned 4 we invited her 3 best friends (kids from her first party) and she really enjoyed the small party. Party size really doesn't matter, fun does!
M.
I had a similar situation when my son was younger and when I sent out the invitation, I made sure to write a note for the parents. If I didn't know them, I wrote "come join the fun and lets get to know one another being that our kids know each other so well". I wrote different little quirky, funny ice breakers like that and I found all the parents I didn't know came and we got to know one another. If you've already sent the invites, ask the teacher for the phone numbers (when my daughter's time for parties came around, this wasn't a problem when I asked her teacher for a phone list), and call them up....introduce yourself and just ask "I was wondering if you were going to be able to make it to my sons party."
Good luck!
Each parent should be able to RSVP a week before the party. If you don't have a response from any of the parents, you might want to have the party at the school so your son could be with his friends. You can make arrangements with the school for a weekend party in the gym room. That way your friends children came come also.
Hi M.,
I have a 2 year old and will be soon thinking of things like this too. I had a few questions: How long do you expect this birthday party to last for 3 year olds? If my son were to attend a party, I would think that it would not last more than an hour and half. I personally would want to stay and be there to help, and to meet the other parents. I imagine that if you sent an invitation to the parents, saying just what you wrote in your questions, they may feel the same and be happy to stay and socialize.
Good Luck, and most importantly- Have a great time.
N.
We have four children and I have no doubt that the parents and children of you son's class will attend en masse. You have nothing to fear. All of the other parents have the same interest as you, to meet the other families within the class. You might consider orienting the invitation toward inviting the parents as well so that they understand the party is for them also. With 3yr olds, a parent will always stay anyway. We didn't leave our kids at parties without us until they were around 5.
I always invite parents and siblings to my son's parties. That way they know and feel like they are truly welcome in my home. I also provide adult appertizers for them as well as drinks. The last party we had went on untill 9pm. We had a blast and everyone loved it. They couldn't wait for the next party. I think that by inviting the parents and siblings it helped everyone to be more relaxed at being at my house so they didn't have to rush off to be with excluded siblings. Also, when my kids get invited to parties, I always stay,so that I can get to know the parents and the other kids. That way when its my turn to throw the party I have a pretty good idea that they will come.
try to get the contact numbers of the invited children's parents at least you could talk to them and know ahead of time if they are coming or not, and also through that you can start the friendship by calling them on the phone. by the way you can try get their numbers from your son's teacher... good luck and God bless you!
They will come. Not all but they will. It is a big playdate and parents, too want to meet others.
Hello,
I invited all the kids from my son's preschool when he was turning 4 and no one came. Boo to them!!! We had so much family and friends there that he was too busy to notice. No one, not even mommy's dissapoint, showed and not one mention was made.
We put him in another school the following year, and everyone came!!!
The rule is 1 extra child for each birthday. 3 year old birthday party = 4 kids tops. For his and your sanity.
Don't worry about what you have absolutely no control of. Show your child that he should not worry or he will be a child who can not adjust to disappointment.have faith that people want to share in a celebration for your son. He will sense your concerns and wonder what is wrong with him. Maybe he won't have an understanding about all this, now but trust me, we teach people how to treat us and we show by example these rules to our children who are like sponges. Don't mention or act our your fears and have security so that your child will be so confident and this will give him the needed toola to make people only want to be near him but more importantly he will feel worthy of acceptance and have good frienships throughout his life
I think that the parents are thinking the same thing as you. That they don't know any of the parents and would like to meet them esp if their kids will be in school together. I have gone to a 3 year old party for a classmate of my daughters, when I didn't know anyone. I actually enjoy going to parties now (before when my daughter was young it was kind of boring). Now that she is 3, she has so much fun, interacts more, and it get's us out of the house. I also look at the other side which is you want the kids to come to your party, so you make sure you go to theirs. I don't think you should worry too much, Hope this helps. M.
Try having a meet the parents Breakfast at an area coffe or donut shop.
Since you are a stay at home mom do you have extra time during the day? Perhaps make a flyer for other parents who drop off their kids to get together for coffee, lunch, a walk. Then you'd get to see who they are. I don't know Montessori but don't they have a class list? If not can you ask the teacher for one? How about planning a parent's group at the school? Make a flyer for the teacher to hand out or even HANG UP (or BOTH) so everyone sees it, and invite everyone to meet for coffee, lunch, walk.
When my kids were this age I invited the entire class and everyone was excited to come and meet other parents and families. Your school will most likely be the same.
I'd love to hear how it goes,
Fran
They will come. I hope you invited the entire class as that way you meet everyone and your child builds more friendships. My daughter did montessori and even though it was mixed ages we always invited everyone ane almost everyone always came. Enjoy the party.
Perhaps you could get a list of their phone numbers and call and introduce yourself to them and relate what you have said here to them. You might not get all of them to come, but it may persuade some to accept your invitation. Sometimes people respond better when contacted personally in this kind of situation. Good luck!
It really shouldn't be a problem - I'm sure you will get plenty of people responding yes. I always look forward to my kids getting invited so I can meet his friends and their parents - it's not important that you know the parents for the kids to come. It's just important the kids know each other - the rest will take care of itself.
If you don't hear back, call around as the date gets closer and make personal contact - that way you'll chat with the parents and the door will be opened.
Good luck.
I did the same thing when my first daughter was in Nursery school at 4 years old. I invited the whole class and was amazed that everyone showed up. Sometimes we have bigger expectations than our children. Unfortunately we instill this into them. I think you know your son would be happy with only a few of his best friends present at his party. So you invited the people and those wishing to meet more people and expand their child's social base will attend. Don't worry about the others. Your son will no matter who shows up unless you express dissappointment. Have a great time.
you should have put a note on the invite
That is a TON of kids for a 3 year old birthday! More power to you! I hope you are going to a Spa afterward :-)
I applaud your effort to get everyone involved. Call some of the parents before the party to introduce yourself and add the personal invite. I did that with one of my daughter's friends and I found a friend in the mom as well.
Your son will be too busy with all the festivities to know/understand who shows up and who doesn't. Make the day about him and you'll have a great time! Good Luck!
The general rule for birthdays is to invite the age of the child plus one, so just four guests would be appropriate. Anything more could be really overwhelming for your son. I wouldn't worry about your son feeling snubbed by his classmates, he's only 3, and his focus will be on other aspects of the party (decorations, food, games). If YOU'RE disappointed, don't let it show, as your son will pick up on your cues for his reactions...he doesn't really remember his last party, so he has no basis for comparison (nor will he remember this party for very long...). And if only a few new faces show up, be glad that you can spend time really getting to know those few people well, something a larger gathering would not allow.
Dear M.,
My advice to you would be to also invite parents to the party. First of all, what better way to get to know the other parents. Second of all, do you really want to have so many 2 and 3-year olds about without 1-on-1 supervision? My suggestion would be to have the party short, no more than 2 hours. Their attention span and ability to play well together lasts no longer than that. Have food for adults as well as for the children. The other parents will be more than happy to help with games and other planned events, and even clean-up.
Good luck and have fun, W.
Call each mom and tell the truth- that you are feeling new to the school and that you would like to develop a relationship with the parents of your son's friends.See if they could come by for coffee and dessert or a nice light lunch (salad with chicken and good bread) with their child for the party. I have done this and it works like a charm.
Hey M.,
My daughter just started school for the first time and I had been telling her that we would have an official "non family" birthday party for her then. She stayed home with me prior to that and didn't really know anyone except for from church and we would usually have a cake for her there after services. So anyhow, her birthday is in September so we really didn't have any time to meet any of the other kids or parents and I put on the invitation a note that said "Parent's please feel free to stick around, we'd love to meet and get to know others from the school". All of the kids and several parents came so I guess it worked.
Hope it works out for you - take care, Suzannah
