Kid's Party Invitee Etiquette

No -there's nothing wrong with it. Especially for the 6 year old -this is the age when they REALLY start getting age specific and wanting to hang out with their gender.

My kids are 6 and 9 and we have ALWAYS invited only the kids they wanted to their birthday parties (their birthdays are in winter and spring so during school times). While we have attended "all class" parties and had a great time, for our family we just don't want to do that and frankly, we don't want to look like we're only asking for presents. My son has a couple of good friends that we have known since he was one year old--they are girls and we still get together and play with them so he invited them to his party (he is 6). At the same time there were a couple of boys in his class this year that bit or hit and he did not want them there--totally understandable!

By keeping it small you not only save yourself the extra $$ but the birthday child will also feel like their friends are truly there to help them celebrate their special day. My SIL invites a crazy amount of people to her kids' parties--not just their schoolmates but friends of hers with children also. Sometimes there can be up to 60 people at a party. Her boys are often lost in the shuffle and sometimes end up going off to be by themselves or with just one or two friends during the party.

If the friends your boys want to invite are only boys then I think that's just fine!

Bowling is pretty cheap but when it involves a birthday party I have found it to be very expensive. I think the last time we did one it was $40 just to reserve the tables and for them to allow the cake in the door, then the charge per person was like $10.

We have had girly parties but it was in a facility where they got to dress up in costumes and have pictures made. Since it is Summer and school is out, I think invite who you want and don't worry about the rest, the other kids in class won't even know about it.

As a teacher, in the past, I asked parents to invite the whole class or just the sex of the child. With our present administration, they prefer the teachers not to hand out party invitations; parents need to get the approval from the office...we now have a district policy that all communications home must have the school address/phone number on it as well as the district's disclaimer policy that they do not discriminate.
The parents can bring a snack at the end of the day for the child's birthday, but no presents; they prefer it to be low key and rather not have any party favors since so many of the students ride the bus, and the items get lost or taken from them.
With my granddaughter, when her whole class was invited to her 3 year and 4 year old party, just the girls came, even though it was an unisex theme.
Her 5 year party was a princess dress-up party and her 6 year was a tea party, so just girls were invited. The boys were okay because they had their boy parties and had just boys...and being a private preschool and kindergarten, some parents had their child's party at school, which was allowed. One parent even had their child's party for lunch at Chuckie Cheese after a morning field trip.
One student at school has a summer birthday, so the last 2 weeks of school the mom sent out an announcement of a birthday party date, asking if the child would like to attend (and a reminder the last week of school) and asking for contact information so that an invitation could be sent out during the summer. The party is a water slide party, with a sleepover for the girls that evening.
I have a child with a birthday right in the middle of the summer, and I wish I had thought of this idea when they were younger. There were parties, usually at the pool, then, when older, sleepovers, and a number of friends did attend.

NO just invite the boys. If your sons are not friends with any of the girls then dont invite them just because they were in the class to.

I think if his friends are only boys then invite those friends only. If he mentions a few girls then invite them too. It is your family's party and you can invite whomever you want. I would just find a way to discreetly distribute the invitations so the other kids do not get curious or feel left out.

If your son/s want some of their girl friends there, I would think they should have them there. If the boys don't really care one way or the other, then stick to the boys for the party.

When I have to scale back on party guests, I talk directly to the parent(s) of the child - away from others. I don't send give the invitation to the child at school. Since I am a SAHM, that works for me. Both of my kids' birthdays are during school. If I am able to invite everyone, I send them to school with the kids with the teachers' permission.

Since your boys' birthdays are in the summer, you have it easier AND harder. Easier because the classmates aren;t in everyday contact and harder because you have to figure out how to contact the ones your sons do want to invite.

Even when school IS in session you are not required to invite everyone, that's only if you send the invitations with your child to school. Our school "requests that if you send the invitations to school with your child to PLEASE think of everyone's feelings and invite the whole class ~ those who don't receive an invitation will get their feelings hurt". Since your kids are not in school with the other kids right now, don't even worry about it. Just invite the kids your sons asked for. The last two parties I had for my kids, I had to scale back. When one or two kids asked the week after my son's party why they weren't invited to the bounce party we had, I just explained that I was only able to invite "blank number" and I was sorry. They pressed and I made up something about "there were only so many chairs" or something since they wouldn't have understood about paying for more guests at that age. It sounds harsh to say that to a 6 year old, but it was basically true. Keep in mind that the same kids who asked this were in Kinder with my son and didn't attend the party we had at the park the year before "because park parties are boring", so I only invited the three who did attend since my son requested those three and a couple from church.

With today's school rules kids EXPECT to be invited to EVERY party and then attend the "cool" ones, even in elementary. They see it as a right instead of a priviledge of friendship. If my kids are invited I usually have them go if our schedule allows, if it doesn't I call and send our regrets. There have been a few that my kids were the only classmates at the party because "the birthday kid wasn't one pf the Cool Kids in class". My children had fun that others missed out on and found that the birthday kid WAS fun to be with.

Most parents can't afford to invite everyone and shouldn't be forced into an "all or none" situation at the expense of their children. Those who aren't allowed to invite a only couple and can't afford to invite everyone are forced to sadden their own children so that they "don't hurt the feelings" of everyone else. We, as parents, have to be the bad guys and do the hard part: only invite who we want/can.

With that last part said, My daughter last year wanted to invite everyone EXCEPT ONE CHILD because he was mean to most people and always in trouble. In that situation, I told her to invite him too or just a few. It's okay to invite a few and leave out a majority, but to leave out just one IS rude. My decision was the right one. She chose "everyone". When I met him and his mom it turned out that he is "mean" because he had some mental challenges that kept him from understanding how to say things nicely and from controlling his impulses/wants. He wasn't trying to be mean, it just came out that way. The things he said were what he felt and were usually things we try to teach our kids to word differently. He couldn't understand that difference between phrases. Afterwards, I was able to teach my daughter to listen to him differently, and even though they're not the best of friends she is able to help the other kids not get mad at him as often.

I know this was more than you asked, but there is more than "what the school wants" to this issue and you're already feeling the pressure :)

Hope your boys have Happy Birthdays!

During the summer it's OK to invite just their best friends, they're probably not going to be talking to all the rest of the classmates for awhile. The usual rule is that if you send the invites to school with your child, then you have to invite everyone from the class. Otherwise you can invite any group you want- neighbors, relatives, church friends, scout pack- as long as your son and the group get along well. Hopefully everyone you invite will be able to come. And if someone that wasn't invited asks about it, just apologize and let them know that this year you decided to have a smaller party.

The nice thing about summer birthdays is that you do not have to invite everyone! Just mail the invitations and do not worry about it. Your son knows who he wants there and has told you. There is your "out". No one will be offended. THe last thing most people want to do is run to the store and buy a present.

You are good to go. Let yourself off the hook!

Since they aren't in school anymore, I don't see a problem with invites only being handed out to the boys.

if they just want the boys, just invite the boys.