How to Explain TK Vs. Kinder to My Daughter?

Less is more. You are in this class. Other kids are in other classes. End of discussion. It will only be an issue if you make it an issue

You don't need to explain the difference to her. Simply introduce her to her teacher. If she asks about her friends, just tell her that big-kid schools have lots of classrooms and they're in a different one.

She won't notice the difference unless you make a big deal about it. My son is in a part-time kindergarten program. A few of his classmates are there full time. (I'm assuming they need some extra support.). He was genuinely surprised when he finally realized that last week. But he didn't think much of it.

I wouldn't say anything other than they were assigned to a different teacher/classroom. Our district had 3 kindergarten classes and I don't think my daughter's had any preschool friends with them in their kindergarten class anyway. They made all new friends very quickly.

Kids are incredibly resilient. Your daughter will follow your lead. Just be a matter of fact about it and your daughter will be too.

No need to get into a pedagogical conversation with a young child - keep it simple! "Here is your classroom! After this year, comes next year! New teachers, new friends, new fun - hooray!!"

My son did TK, while his preschool friends all went into kindergarten. My son has a July birthday, and I told him that his friends were a little older and that we (his dad and I) wanted him to have this awesome experience.

Our son has always known that he was age eligible for kindergarten, but that I strongly believed he would be more successful if he waited a year to begin kindergarten.

I'm not sure your reasons behind this decision, but I do agree that it's important not to indicate that your daughter has done anything wrong or that she is not good enough. Keep in mind, though, that those thoughts may not even enter her mind unless you mention them to her. She has no concept of flunking or retention or being held back. Just let her know that this is an extra experience that she gets to have and that kindergarten is the next step.

My daughter did TK when all of her friends from preschool and playgroup were starting kindergarten. She didn't have any friends starting TK with her. I just told her she was too young for kindergarten but they had created a special new grade for kids born in the fall so she still got to start elementary school at the same time as all her friends. It didn't bother or upset her and I didn't have to go into a huge explanation beyond that.

She is almost done with kinder now and, while she loved it and had a great year, there were times that she was bored or frustrated because she felt like she was repeating the same things she had done in TK. Be prepared for that to happen the following year when your daughter is in kinder, especially if she stays at the same school.

Her self-esteem will only be affected if you tell her that you're making the choice to hold her back because you don't think she's ready for kindergarten. If you just tell her that she wasn't old enough to start yet, it shouldn't have any effect on how she feels about herself.

I wouldn't focus on the other kids - nor explain it at this point. If she asks you just say they are in that class, she's in this class. If it comes down to it and she presses you on it, you can just say kids go to the right class for them (age). I really wouldn't unless she presses you on it.

My kids go to a school where there are multiple classes for each grade, so they've been split up from friends, have entirely new friends each year, sometimes stick with same group but end up making new friend anyhow, etc. At that age, they quickly are caught up in who is in their class and not the ones who were in their old class. They focus on the here and now :)

My kids switched around a lot and were fine with it - and I have one who is shy, one who is anxious, etc. and they were still ok.

I would ask the teacher or email the school to ask what language they use within the school community. I think it's important to say that there are different classrooms and the school has to use all the available rooms, that it doesn't matter where the rooms are located. I wouldn't draw so much of a distinction between the programs - just say that there's a classroom here and there are others down the hall. Point out that it's nice to have "a quiet classroom near the library and isn't that lucky?" Reiterate that kids from preschools go to all kinds of different schools based on the towns where they live, and it's really fun to grow up to go to a big-kid school with all kinds of new friends and toys and books. "Splitting up the preschool" is something that all parents go through, whether the kids are going to pre-K or TK or kindergarten. Don't deal with the following year yet - just deal with this year, one step at a time. If you don't make it all about her abilities or making excuses for things, she'll be less likely to. Building her resilience as well as her confidence in your decision-making is something you'll be doing for the next 12 years!

Not everyone gets the same classrooms and teachers.

Your daughter is younger than her friends? Does she JUST make the age cut off?
Keep it simple. Tell her the truth. Your date of birth has you in a different section of class.

Don't lie.
Don't make a stink.
Don't fuss.
Just tell her that her age/date of birth has her at a different cut off and means the school puts her in a different class. Doesn't mean they still can't be friends.

I'm like Dragnet when it comes to explanations for kids: just the facts, Ma'am.

I like Barb's response: short and sweet. I'd go with that. No need for big explanations. She won't likely make anything of it if you don't. Think about it, even if she were in kinder, some of her friends would *still* be in a different class with a different teacher. Same thing.

You tell her that she's younger than her friends, and that when she is their age, she'll go to K also.

(I'm of course making the assumption that her friends turn 5 before she does, since she has a pretty late summer birthday).

I haven't read the other answers yet, and I don't know your daughter, but honestly, I wouldn't give her all this information. What she will need to understand overall is that children are separated into different classes because there a a lot of children and a lot of teachers. School is a lot bigger than preschool. THAT'S the tact I would use. I wouldn't want to talk through her not being ready to join her friends in kinder...

I would just tell her they are in they are in different classrooms due to age and leave it at that. If they are at the same school she will see them on the playground and whatnot, but honestly she will make all new friends in her new TK class (and so will the other two girls, especially if they are in separate classrooms too). TK is not isolated, I am pretty sure they usually do what the kinders do as far as recess and schedules. She probably won't even notice.

I am sorry to say both my girls forgot ALL their pre-school classmates within a year. Very few of them went to our elementary school and the few that did were not in the same kinder class. To this day my kids recall very little from their pre-school days! Elementary life quickly takes over. So if your daughter realizes a year from now, that she is in kinder and the other two are now in first, you can again explain that she is younger than they are.

I wouldn't worry about it :)

At her age there's no need to explain much, as others have pointed out. Each year she will have a new class, new teacher and make new friends. Those "friends" she has now are simply the kids she's used to, trust me, after a week she will have forgotten all about them!

I know you've already made the decision but can you back out? I did transition 1st grade, same thing as your TK.

She hated school from that point forward. She said she felt stupid and dumb and ignorant. She hated not being with her friends the rest of her academic life. Not being with the kids her own age.

And she matured in about 2nd/3rd grade up to where her age group.

Your daughter will be aware of her lower grade every time she joins an activity because they are all by age. If she plays soccer she'll be with kids her own age, they'll be from her school and see that she's in the lower class. They will look at her differently. They might not treat her less like a peer but it comes out in the way they talk to her and how they depend on her to handle teamwork.

She'll be 18 as a junior. The department of education has articles online about this subject and they do not support holding kids back. They say that less than 40% of kids that turn 18 before their senior year, those held back, even graduate. They drop out because they feel like they're a failure and they don't finish school. That is quite drastic.

Unless she has a developmental delay where she will eventually be on an IEP and perhaps in special ed classes, please reconsider this TK. She will do okay but she could do a lot better mentally and socially if she stays with her age group.