How to Change Old Habits

I have this same problem except my tornado is a 3.5 yr old boy and a 6 yr old girl and the boy is the cleaner of the 2. I seem to never get enough motivation to get the whole house clean, I feel like everytime I get somethign clean I have to go back and reclean it when I start on another area. I'll be anxous to see what advice you you get.

I suggest you give www.flylady.net a try. It's free, and it could be just the thing you need.

I'm the same way, honey! Go around your home and look at every little thing and ask yourself a couple of questions:

1. Do I need this or am I hoarding it for a rainy day?
2. Does this have sentimental value?

If you're pack-ratting, get rid of it if it's easily replaceable but you're not using it right now.

If it's sentimental, ask yourself if you need to pack it away for a while and put something else out in it's place. This will also give you a change of scenery which tends to lead to better habits around the house.

I've found flylady very helpful as well as a Yahoo group called AChoreADay (or something like that). This group gives you one reminder per day to do something to clean, organize, pamper and the 1001 little things that you don't have time for. If you follow it, suddenly, you'll find yourself in a new frame of mind. :)

A.,
You might try psychologyofclutter.com - I found it interesting as well as helpful! Remember to be kind to yourself; having a "tornado toddler" is a challenge as well as a joy!

Honestly, until your child is school age you aren't going to have a perfect house. I work full time and when I do have time off work I get a taste of the SAHM life and I know my house wouldn't be as clean as I wanted it to be. I always had this perception that the SAHM was supposed to keep this perfectly clean and neat house at all times but that is because my mother WAS a complete neat freak so I thought that is how it was for everyone. Being a parent now and learning the reality of it - your house doesn't need to be perfect. You already know what areas you need (want) to work on, which is actually pretty important. If you think about it, you could use the putting things back when you are done with them as a learning tool for your child. Even at 18mos, your daughter is learning everything from you to include cleanliness. If she sees you put stuff away when you are finished and you start having her do the same, it will make things that much easier as she gets older & if there are more babies to come into play later on.

As to "how" to do it. That is all you. It is phsycological. You have to decide you WANT the change for it to happen.

C.

First of all find out your active level some of us are more active in the morning and some in the evening after the little ones are sleeping.the next step is to find what works for you, wheather it be organizing in baskets or what ever suites you. Then take one room at a time and go through, start by getting rid of all trash, then take anything that belongs in another room and put it in a cheap laundry basket by the door, by this time it is looking more managable, (I also would put together a cleaning supply box with all my cloths and cleaning liquids,I would go around the room following the outside.After you have returned everything to its proper room it is time to put your feet up with a cool glass of Ice Tea, If your daughter is awake you can include her by making it fun to clean. Good-Luck.

wow! you could be telling my story! I am so far from perfect you may not even want my advice, but here are some things that have helped me. First, I have learned to take it slow. Major cleaning one time (usually for company) never lasts; it's the tiny changes that I can keep with daily that add up. A professional organizer told me, Just pick one thing and work on that for 6 weeks, then move to something else. I try to make big promises and then give up entirely when I can't do it all. Second, little thing make a big difference. If I can't clean up the whole kitchen right now, maybe I can at least pick up two bowls from the table and put them in the sink. If I can't clean the whole bedroom, I can just pick up two pieces of clothing from the floor, etc. This attitude has revolutionized my life. Lastly, if nobody's suggested it already, flylady.com is a great resource, especially for breaking it down into bite-size chunks. Oh, and one more thing, your 18-mo-old is old enough to learn to put toys away if you catch him/her before they move to another toy and work with them. I have twins who turned 4 today and one 20-mo-old. Believe me, it's a lot easier to start the good habits now than to wait! Best of luck!

I pray that you get some great responses. I too have an almost 18 month old little girl that is constantly whirling through the house in destruction mode. I would love to read the responses that you get from this. My husband is deployed to Iraq for his 3rd time and I work full time. Needless to say, house cleaning takes a backseat when it comes to spending time with my daughter. Thanks a million for posting this question:)

i am the same, girl! i have the "dropsies" - where i drop it, there it stays! only one thing has made a difference for me, and that is www.flylady.net. it's a big site, with a lot to go through, and i never bought her books, but if you follow the recommendations of that site, within a month your house will be spotless, and it will basically stay that way for as long as you stay on the plan. (there's even a section for "flying" with young children - and if i can do it so can you!)

I don't really know about the ambition part other than knowing where everything is. I have a hard time relaxing or feeling comfortable if the house isn't clean, so I get it done first. It is much more difficult to do with a child that age. One thing that will help you for the future is to make sure to have your daughter help you clean up her toys when she is done with them. I did this with my sons from the time that they could walk and that is one less thing that I have to do. They do not usually destroy a roon and then have to clean the whole thing, unless they have friends over. Most days if they are playing with something they put it away before they move on to the next toy. I am kind of a neat freak and this helps my sanity as well as teaching them responsibility. Don't make 'spotless' be your goal and you will do great. That goal is nearly impossible when you have children. Do it to the level that you are happy with- you don't need any more stress :)

You need to check out the website flylady.com. She has wonderful advice and good books too!

I used to be the same way.

First Declutter anything you have not used in years or the last 6 months. Throw non-important papers, clothes...etc Give it away. Sort these by containers. This is why most people have a messy house. you think you will miss the things, but you won't.

If you find yourself attached to items...this means you are insecure.

Next, buy things that make your home a home such as candles, a plant, or a nice towel.

Turn music on while cleaning and you will be surprise how much you accomplished.

I live by these rules and I do not have to clean anything except, bathrooms, vacumming, and minor dusting. Once a week.

Hey A.,

I know exactly what you mean. I used to be so bad about putting things away (including the laundry). My hubby is prior military (the Navy no less) and is the same as yours. For an example when he hangs clothes, all the shirts face exactly the same way on the hanger. I DO NOT have that kind of dedication. What I do is really concentrate on putting things back as I go. It makes clean up a whole lot easier. Then just set aside a time each day (in your case it might be easier when your daughter's napping, or some other time that might be close to when hubby gets home) to tidy up. As far as the bigger cleaning projects go, sweeping & mopping, bathrooms etc. I just put the radio on. It makes it easier to get into it, not to mention what a nice little work out it can be, dancing along while you clean. You can even get your little one involved, she can dance with you!

Check out the website http://www.flylady.net/

It is full of great ideas to implement to help you with your house cleaning routines. It is all about babysteps and changing one habit at a time until you are able to keep up with the work. There is also a companion website called www.HouseFairy.org that gives tips to help children learn to clean up their rooms. I know your daughter is young, but there might be an idea or two that would be helpful as she grows into a helper in your home.

Good luck!
K.

Well A., I'd say you have a good start at changing your habit by asking for some advice. For me, I do put things back, etc but when my twins were born premature, that meant they needed a little extra attention than twin newborns, meaning my house cleaning time was very limited. Since I took care of the twins soley during the days & most nights while my husband worked long hours, I made a daily schedule for cleaning the house & doing laundry. I did these chores when the babies napped along with all the mommy things that needed to be done, like bottles etc. The schedule looked something like this: Monday-wash whites & clean bathrooms, Tuesday-wash towels & clean kitchen/mop kitchen & bathrooms, Wednesday-wash darks & dust/vacuum, Thursday-get groceries, Friday-clean any baby stuff that needs tending too (highchair taken out side & hosed down, walker seats washed & walker cleaned, bouncy chair seat washed, etc), Saturday-family time!!, Sunday-church & more family time. For me this kept my "cleaning" time short & it wasn't such a big chore or so dreaded. It helped me manage everything so my house was mostly presentable at all times. Since then, now that things have gotten more managable, I do all laundry on one day & all cleaning on another day that way i have whole days with no cleaning or laundry other than dishes,cooking or something like that. Lastly one thing i always remind myself is that if I just put whatever back where it "lives" immediately when i am done, then when i do get ready to clean I can do so without having to pick up first so it goes alot faster.

Remember that you live in your house, so there is always going to be things - I like my house clean & orderly, but I release myself of thinking it has to be "perfect" because we live there, not just visit if that makes since. Remember to take it one day at a time, do what works for your family. What works for me or the next mom may not work for your family.

There is a lady that does like a free workshop via daily emails to help people get their houses in order & easily keep them that way, all with a bit of love and humor. They call her the FLY lady, FLY means fully loving yourself. Check her out http://www.flylady.net/ I really urge you to do so, it is a great setup & free.

Take it easy, live one day at a time, life is short & our kids grow up too fast.

Message me if you need to chat or if I can help you in anyway :) I hope this is of some help to you.

Lots of love,
V.

Go to www.flylady.net Her systems changed my home! Of course I don't do everything exactly like she does, but the principals are great. I was the WORST housekeeper for the first 9 years of my marriage. I now have a clutter free home, that stays reasonably clean considering I have twin 2 1/2 year old boys! The e-mails you will get from flylady.net can be overwhelming. There are a lot. I would suggest sending them all to one separate e-mail address (I have a yahoo account just for that)Best of luck!

First I want to say good for you for acknoweldging your need for change and actually wanting to change! I am exactly the same way that you described! I have found that it is a daily effort on my part and the biggest thing is being aware and going ahead and taking care of things as they occur and not procrastinating (I speak for myself here), ie... hanging up the clothes when I take them off, making the bed when I get up, rinsing the dishes and putting them away as soon as we're done eating, handling the mail right away and throwing out the junk, and a BIG one for me is putting way the things I use everyday like toiletries as soon as I'm done with them.

I hope this helps and doesn't sound like too much. I just know how I am as a "cluttery" type. It's worth the rewards!

Been there... done that..... check out www.flylady.net. It's awesome! It teaches us how to set up routines so we alleviate the chaos in our lives... it's a life saver!

Please check out www.flylady.com. Her site has a lot of great information on setting up easy to follow routines. There is a link to www.housefairy.com which is a website for children on routines and organization. Also, on her site there is a link for www.savingdinner.com which helps you plan menus and prepare make-ahead dinners for the freezer. Hope this helps !!!

The best way I have found to keep a super tidy house is to have a cleaning schedule. I would recommend first to do a "clean sweep" style inventory of every room (if you have a lot of clutter and piles). Take everything in the room that does not have an assigned place and put in on the floor in the center of the room. Now dig through that pile and find a place for things. You may find out that you have a lot of things you can get rid of. Depending on the size of your home, it could take up to a week to do this, and you may find as you go along that you want to invest in some bins to store things in (maybe even some additional shelving). Don't just follow an example you see on TV or read in a book, you have to find a method that works for you and that you can stick to. I'm pretty busy, and sometimes I have to move from one task to the next in a hurry, so I like to use open top baskets that I can just throw all the junk back in and toss on the shelf. But I have a different basket for each kind of item (ie: a sewing basket, a crafts basket, office supplies, etc. It's easy and fast. Once you've got your house organized, set a schedule for yourself to clean. My schedule runs something like this: Mondays and Thursdays I scrub down the bathrooms and kitchen; Tuesdays and Fridays I dust, vaccuum, and clean the bedrooms and living room; Wednesdays I clean the den and take out the garbage; Sunday is laundry day, and Saturday I don't clean at all. You'd be amazed how much you can get accomplished when you break it down into small tasks everyday. But again, make a schedule that works for you because it will be easier to stick to. If all else fails you can always hire someone to help. Good luck!

A. S,
Let me tell you what I started doing. The closet is a great place for thinking so I would take a hand full of clothes every other day and hang them up; as for as finding things, I set on my bed ,no tv or radio and think about the last time I had it and walla I'd figure out where it is. I play music when I clean which makes it more fun and it's done right.
I hope this helps you in some way.

Toni
Covington,GA

Wow...I've always struggled with that one...all my life! I think it has to do with how much you have. In other words, if you have a lot of things you're trying to keep up with it's more difficult to keep it in places you can find. I've noticed the less things I have the easier to keep up with them. Now, with children I can understand having distractions and putting something down having difficulty finding it later. I too had that problem when my son was a baby and still have that problem but I think it's just senior moments...LOL. It's wonderful your husband can understand this but maybe he can help you get better organised by labeling bins, putting up shelves, etc. It's so difficult to be organised...this I know all too well. Too, your time with your child will go by so quickly so please don't sweat the small things and you and your husband enjoy your child while your baby grows up into a young adult. Mine will be out of the home in about 3 years! I cannot believe it. Also, sadly, his father died 2 years ago this Wednesday so life is short and some things are worth the worry but most things are not. Take great care and enjoy every moment.

I understand. Until I quit work to be at home with my 2 1/2 year old, we had a housekeeper. Our routine was typically live, drop things when we came in the door, and then the night before the housekeeper came, we were scrambling to get things in some sort of order so that she could actually get to everything to clean. Not so good. When I quit work, I sort of got lost regarding what I was supposed to do and how to even begin to get it done with a baby in tow!

I began a system about 6 months ago that has really worked well for me. I divided my house into 5 zones (1 for each day of the week). I clean 1 zone each day and just pick up the clutter in the main living areas. If I have time, I'll do other things that may need to be done, usually laundry. This has worked great for me. I'm on a regular schedule with cleaning and my house has NEVER looked better. And on the weekend, I don't have to stress is we have company over. I just tidy up the main areas (greatroom, dining, and kitchen).

It works great for me. Good luck finding a system that works for you.

O.

My husband says, "All u do is straighten." He was right, I spent my time straightening and struggled to find time to really clean. I'm trying to clean 1 room a day. It's basically den, kitchen, bathrooms, our bedroom, kids' bedrooms & then a laundry day. It doesn't always work, but it is a great feeling to get a room really clean. I spend about an hour per day. I will not let myself get distracted to work on another room. This is the key. I'm also trying to throw out, donate ect STUFF that we don't need! Good luck.