Hi, Mamas. I am in need of some serious advice! Last weekend, my husband and I went out, so we called our semi-regular babysitter (who happens to be the daughter of a business acquaintance of my husband) to come and watch my son. When we returned home, my son was asleep and my husband drove the sitter home.
The next day, my son mentioned that teh sitter had three friends over while we were away. While I was surprised that she hadn't mentioned it, I recalled that we had allowed her to have a friend over while she sat for us once, so I assumed she must have thought it would be OK, but I made a mental note to address that with her the next time.
Well, while cleaning the house later that day, I came across several Bacardi Silver bottle caps (the babysitter is only 17). I still was not terribly alarmed, but a little upset because I knew that the friends she had over had to drive themselves home. I decided at that point that we would not use her services again and I battled with whether or not I would have my husband mention it to her.
The week went by and we sort of let it go, but just yesterday, out of nowhere, my son said the sitters' friends had taken some of my medicine, just because they liked it. I asked him what they had taken and he climbed onto trhe counter in my bathroom, opened the medicine cabinet and handed me the bottle. It was a bottle of generic Vicodin that I had been prescribed when I had dental work a year ago!!!
How should we address this with her parents?
You need to speak with her parents immediately. If possible, meet with them in person. That way, you can show them the bottle of medicine and the caps that you found. Good luck.
Whoa! Call this kids' parents TODAY! Do not wait.
Start out with I think we may have a problem. Tell them what you found and what your son told you about the prescriptions. If this girl was my child, I'd want to know exactly what you know. Tell her you're sorry but you felt like she needed to know. You don't have to go into what could have happened, because she will know and probably is going to apologize profusely. I know I would. I also imagine that she will thank you for being honest. If not, you still did the right thing.
Good luck!
I would absolutely tell the parents because I would want to know. I would approach it with the parents that 'this is the situation' and since you got this information second hand, you need to discuss it with them. I would be infuriated and would definitely not use the babysitter again no matter what.
I would try not to be or show anger with the parents, but just calmly tell them (I agree with the previous writer who said they will probably feel horrible!)
good luck
Adrienne,
My heart goes out to you. I hope you realize how blessed you are that there was no issue with your child during this occurrence.
I would definately find another sitter. Then I would ask to visit with her parents and just tell them what you discovered. I would share the entire story because I would want to know my child was engaging in this behavior as a parent. Do not expect any reaction from them. That way you cannot be disappointed if they do not react in a manner you would expect. If something bad happened to their daughter as a result of her activities and the company she keeps, you would badly if you fail to discuss this issue with her parents. Have a blessed day!
I would keep it on a personal level and just tell them that as parents when your children are older you would hope an adult that becomes aware of illegal behavior from them would come to you as you are coming to them. The parents may have no idea that this child is drinking underage and much scarier playing with prescription drugs that could be lethal if not taken correctly. I think however they choose to handle the situation with their daughter is between them and the daughter but you have done your duty by bringing it to their attention. It will also answer any question they might have had why you were no longer using their daughter to babysit your children. It probably won't be comfortable to bring up, but really needs to be. Good luck.
Your babysitter or her friends were impaired while they were caring for your children - alcohol + prescription drug. As a parent I would be livid and as the parent of the teenage girl, I would want to know. Business associate or not, I would contact the parents and let them know the situation and hopefully they will address it with her.
Wow - what a situation to have to deal with! I'll share my point of view as both a mom and someone who spent many years babysitting for other peoples kids and had friends sit with me (with their permission).
My suggestion is to invite the sitter and her parent/s to meet with you and your husband. Talk it out very matter of factly. It could be as simple as she invited friends over who did not behave themselves, she could not control it and therefore felt there was nothing she could do. Or then again she could have been part of the crowds efforts. Either way, at 17 her parents do deserve the right to know what your son had said and she deserves to know why she is not babysitting for your son anymore.
Just my two cents.
C.
Work at home mommy to Sami
HEAD-ON IS THE ONLY WAY TO ADDRESS THIS ISSUES WHEN IT COMES TO YOUR CHILD. IF THERE IS A PROBLEM, YOU NEED TO SEEK ANOTHER BABYSITER IMMEDIATELY.
I just went back and read your letter to Mama's sources. I didn't even have to read that before I addressed you. It is simply deduction when it comes to my child. The key word was problem. It's a no brainer. Your child's safety is important. Don't think about this. Just do it!
Find another babysitter immediately, you will save yourself a lot of trouble or your child life behind unbecoming behavior. This is a wake call for you as a parent. CPS would not take lightly if anything happen in your home with your child.
I have to direct this issue extremely strong to you because this is not a health inviroment for your child. Your child livelyhood is at great risk. And you could get in trouble as being a parent in the situation. Now, do you have to think? Save yourself some unwanted trouble and court fees. Love your child!
Adrienne,
Girl...I am a mother of a 17 yr. old daughter who cares for children in thier home, in my home and she works for YMCA Child Care. As a mother of a a daughter that age and who babysits. I would want to know.
I agree with your decision to not have her back over again.
When I was little, my parents had a babysitter that would come over, while they were gone, she would have friends over and a guy, one time they were drinking and her and the guy went into the bathroom and had sex. I saw this, although to young to really know what was going on then I didn't say anything. But, I remember my father hitting the roof when he found a used condom in the garage. I then told him it was the sitter. Needless to say, that was the last time we had her over.
I would want to know as a parent. It could be kids her parents don't allow her to hang around, if they do allow her to hang with those friends, they need to know that the friends drank and took your medication.
Which of you are more acuaginted with the parents?
If it's your husband, he should talk to the dad..if it's you, you should talk to the mom.
When we addressed the issue of my son drinking and hanging with a friend who was the instagator I went to mom and he went to dad.
You say, if I were a parent I would want to know this and explain what you found and what your son told you. Tell them, you won't be using her anymore because of the dishonesty and the ability not to stop the friends. but, you wanted to bring it to thier attention so they could address it how they saw fit. They need to know.
I read your letter to my 17 yr. old daughter and my 16 yr. old daughter who both babysit outside the home....My daughter (17) said, first of all if the child was old enough to tell on me I wouldn't do anything like that. Second of all, I wouldn't do that at all because it is disrespectful to the parents to have kids over while they are gone and then to allow them to drink and take thier medicine. Wonder if they smoke pot and did that too, did the son mention them going outside to smoke anything? She said, mom...I would never do that and the fact that she did doesn't show that she's very mature to allow them over and to do that. It was a job. If I did that, I would get fired for real.
I would just tell the parents, it was not that you thought she did a bad job sitting, that you liked her but you can't have someone there that isn't going to be in control. What if you son had done something to be injured etc. and they were high on vicodin and tipsy from drinking and couldn't handle the situation. You need someone there that is doing what you paid them to do and that is watch your son.
I am a daycare provider and I enjoy an occasional beer and I smoke. But, I don't smoke when I have children and I never drink unless I will not have children for at least 36 hrs. giving me ample time to recover in the event I drink too much, which I hardly ever do.
From this point forward when you have a sitter come over, I would set the rules. No extra ckids allowed without prior consent and in the event you consent to one kid, no drinking or doing anything else while caring for your child, and stay out of your things. Give the rules up front to be clear.
This teen will probably say, like you said, I didn't think it would be a problem. however, the allowing them to drink and get into your medication...I mean if the son knew what they did, didn't the teen girl?
Okay...stepping off my soap box now....
Good Luck
Wow, I would be SHOCKED!!! I would definitely tell her parents about it all. I would just tell them that she apparently had some friends over, and that your child told you what all happened. I mean if they didn't believe you, they could at least ask her about it, and see if she would confess. That's pretty bad. I am a single mom with two kiddos, and I would be VERY upset if this had happened when someone was babysitting my child. The worst thing is that if those "friends" of hers were taking those pills, and something happened to them as a result of them taking the pills, and because they were scared and sick, they told their parents about it, and where they got the pills from, your name would come up...and whether it ever amounted to anything or not would be one thing, but it certainly would give you added drama I am sure you don't need!!
A.
