How Often Do Your Parents or In-laws See Your Kids?

Well my girls are watched by their Grandma's so they've been a huge part of their lives. However my parents get antsy if for some reason they haven't seen them in awhile. My husbands parents are overwhelmed with other grandchildren that I think they could go longer without seeing mine. But right now they both see my kids a couple to few times a week. I love that they play a big role in their lives. Things may change a little next year when they both start going to school full days and go to an after school program instead of Grandma's.

let's see - my parents live on the other side of the states. the last time they saw my kids was Summer of 2010.

My FIL lives 500 miles away and the last time he came down was Oct 2010.

My parents, however, talk to my kids on the phone at least once a week. I don't know when they last spoke to my FIL. While my parents are retired, they are caring for my grandmother (Father's mom - who has lived with them for almost 20 years now) who is 98 years old, can't fly, can't drive and can't be left alone.

We would like to go out and see them this summer. I don't know if that will happen or not.

ETA: We don't up to see his dad because he works and asking him to take time off work is like pulling teeth. And to top it off - we would have to stay in a hotel, I wouldn't be able to go to his house (he has cats, hasn't cleaned it since his wife died in 2006 and has mold...it's gross. really gross!!) and I don't think I'd take my kids IN to his house. They can play in his expansive garden...but not in the house.

My in-laws live in Florida so they see my son 2x per year maybe 3 and depends if someones graduating or getting married. my parents live 10 mins away and he doesn't see them often. Maybe 1x a month sometimes more. Both my parents work. I probably talk to my mom at least every 2 weeks. My mom has also been busy helping my sister out with her kids.

I'm the grandma. I cannot imagine not seeing my grandchildren every week. I'm helping with transportation so I see them twice a week in the morning when I take them to school. And each of my 2 grandchildren spend one over night with me each week. There are also school events which I attend. Up until this year I volunteered at the school.

I think I'm different than most. I'm retired. When my first grandchild was born, my daughter needed lots of help. I loved being involved with my grandchildren. I wanted a couple of children and had to adopt an older child to make a family. I wanted babies and never had one. I'm living somewhat vicariously thru my daughter's family.

I moved back to Oregon and got a divorce during the same time period that my daughter had her children. It just seemed natural for my grandchildren to take over the vacant feeling I had from the move and divorce. I suggest that your parents didn't have that open transition period that I had. The just continued with their life as it was.

I also suggest that for many adults, babies and children hold little interest. They've raised their children and although they love their grandchildren they're busy with their lives, relieved that they're past the parenting stage.

If you haven't already talked with your parents about how you feel, I suggest that doing so might help. They may feel that it's not their place to be as involved as you'd like them to be. Not their place meaning that you'd prefer them to keep more of a distant. I've heard many young mothers complain that their mother is too involved. They may not have thought about spending more time and would be willing to do so with your encouragement. Tell them how important your grandparents were to you and how you want your children to have a similar experience.

For awhile my daughter also thought I was too involved. We didn't have good boundaries. One thing we did was to set up "appointments." This helped by giving my daughter a sense of control. This might work in the opposite direction. Try inviting them over at set times and plan some activities to do with the children.

I just think it's sad, really, and I can assure you that no, this is not the way most grandparents are. My own parents lived in the same town as us for the first three years of our first child's life, and were a big part of her life. She would spend a day at their house at least once or twice a week, they would take her places, they'd come over at least once a week, etc. When they retired, the moved across country...and I struggle with that a lot. They still talk to our children on the phone, on Skype, and visit twice a year for about two weeks each...but they haven't developed the relationship with our youngest and they did our first because they haven't been here in the same way.

My in-laws live in the same town as we do and see our children about weekly. They both work full time...my father-in-law actually has two jobs, and my mother-in-law spends a lot of her free time taking care of her own parents, who just moved into assisted living and aren't transitioning well...but that's a different story. They do take the children places, invite us for dinner, have them over for a day, come to our house, etc.

Even our own grandparents, aunts and uncles, etc, have relationships with our children.

I am so sorry for you that you don't have more and seem to want it. It's been four years since my parents moved, and I really do miss that for my children, so I can understand how you're feeling, I guess. I'm sorry you have to initiate everything...I'm sure there's some family dynamic at work here. If your mothers have both checked out, perhaps it's because of their own personal issues, etc, but be assured it's not your children's fault and just do what you can to foster the relationship, if you want it for them.

My Mom sees the boys 2-3 x per week (lives 30 min from us) and makes it to all school functions and sports while working full time. We also talk to her almost daily.
My FIL and his wife see them about once a month (live 10 min away) he is retired and doesn't come to school functions and makes it to 1/3 of the sports and he talks to my hubby about once a week.
My MIL and hubby see them about once every 3-4 mnths (4 hrs away) she calls about once a month.
My Dad and his wife once every 1-2 mnths (4.5 hrs away) when they do come to visit they spend every waking minute with the kids and they call every couple weeks to check in.
My step-dad and his wife once a month (30 min away) they don't come to school functions but do come to about 1/2 of the sports and they call regularly to check on everyone.

My mom sees the boys weekly. She often picks them up after school to do fun things, and our family gets together with my parents very often - several times a month. My dad often picks the boys up on Saturdays to do boy things for a few hours. Both of my boys are very close to my parents. They will often pick up the phone to call their grandparents to tell them something, and my parents call the boys often, too. They live about 10 minutes away.

My mother-in-law is not very close to the boys. She tries, though. We skype about once a month, and she sends gifts on holidays. The boys don't know her well. We see her once every few years. She lives out of state. My father-in-law was closer to the boys, but he passed away a few months ago.

Not as often as they or we would like. My ILs live about 15 minutes away and we probably see them once a month or every other month, when there isn't an event. My mom and grandmother live 2 hours away but we don't visit them at their house as much as they visit us here or at other family events. I spent afternoons with my grandparents when I was in middle school, so I saw them a lot. I guess I do more "here's what the kids are doing" than they call or come by. I think my mom would be the type to pick up DD more often 1. if DD were older and 2. if Mom lived closer.

While we don't have a set frequency on visitations, I always believe it is TOO often. Someone is always, "In the neighborhood" since we became parents. Became very clear that thier frequent drive-bys had nothing at all to do with wanting to see their own children, but the grandbaby. Bitter you ask? Sure I was! To me it is complete phoniness (Sp?) for them to suddenly be around every weekend. At this point, I have given up. Unless I can move, I am stuck and no sense fighting a losing battle. My 3 sets of parents (mine divorced and remarried) are all within 30-40 minutes of my house. The only saving grace is that my dad and his wife won't come over because we have cats and they don't like cats nor will they eat any food that we make because their belief is cat hair will be in it hahaha....oh well!
My point is, I wouldn't sweat it too much. You can't force a relationship between the g-parents and your kids. Either they want it or they don't. Maybe also consider that they are trying to be respectful of your space and your family and not want to be all in your business. Just a thought. Best of luck!

I have NO relationship with my mother she has never met our dd and it will stay that way for sanity and safety reasons and my father passed away back in 02' but I know he would have been a great gpa. My MIL and FIL see their 1st grandchild everyday after school, and as for our dd they (MIL choice) only see her when we go and visit I think FIL would come and visit more if she was on board. We are less than a 3hr drive that we make to go and visit then turn and burn home. They know they have a room here and they can bring their little dog too. but they dont and yes it bothers dh to no end.

I am going to answer this question as the grandmother I hope to be. I am not retired nor am I a grandparent yet but I have already made hopeful plans. I want to get my grandbabies once a month--Friday after school to Sunday night. I will put the weekend well in advance to my son and his future wife. I will also be available to sit when the child is sick, when the parents have out of town conferences, need a romantic weekend, etc. I plan to retire when the first is born and I hope to never get to be too busy for my future grandbabies.

When the kids were little, my parents and inlaws saw the kids 3 or 4 times a year. We didn't live near either of them so they would visit, we would send the kids to visit for a week (springbreak) and then vacation. They alternated between Christmas. One year my folks the next year his folks.

When we were transferred back to Texas, we thought we would see everyone all the time. Unfortunately that was not the case with the inlaws. My parents have always been very active with our kids, my inlaws were too until we moved back. Then my niece and her kids moved back and we never saw my inlaws. They were too busy with the other kids all the time. Lots to that story!

I have lost a lot of respect for my inlaws. They have done and said things that are almost unforgivable. My husband has been so disappointed with his parents and the way they treat our kids. Right before Christmas, my husband had enough and sent an e-mail to his folks. I will say they have stepped up more and call our kids. Our situation is a little different because my kids are 23 and 19. Both are in college. The oldest graduates in May. The youngest goes to college out of state. Again lots to the story with disappointment and favoritism.

My dad sends "love checks' every month and calls. My mom, as most of you know, is in a facility for Alzheimer's and Dementia. My kids can't really see her anymore. Its too difficult for them to see their Nannie and she doesn't know who they are especially my daughter. They had this amazing relationship. Its hurts my heart that my mom will not be there for her graduation. My mother was the best mom and grandmother EVER. I feel so bad for my brother's kids because they won't know how much their Nannie loved them.

So there is my sad story of disappointment! I do know this, I have learned alot and know what type of inlaw I WON'T be!!!!

my parents see our kids about twice a year - they'll come see us(usually just my mom), and we'll go see them - sometimes we'll meet up for a few days for a vacation if we can work it out. they live 9 hours from us and they own 2 business, that's the main reason it's not more often.

my MIL used to see the kids a few times a year, but due to some really stupid/dangerous choices she's made and been caught lying about, i can't vouch that she'll ever see them again. prior to that though, 2 or 3 times a year. she is about the same distance, 9 hours.

my FIL and his wife - we see them the most, 3 or 4 times per year, they come here a lot as his wife has a daughter here as well. they are also about 9 hours away.

My ex MIL and FIL rarely saw our kids when we were married and they lived about 20 min away. I just came to accept that they were not a priority to them. And even now, our kids are 12 and 9 and we have been divorced for 5 years and when my ex has the kids every other weekend (he lives about 3 min down the road from his parents) they only see them once every few months or if its a holiday or bday. Our kids are their only grandkids.

My mom lives about 5 min from me and sees our kids every other weekend, on the weekends we have our kids (every other weekend they go to their other parents house). In fact, the last 4 months or so, she has asked for them to spend the night every saturday night that we have them. We drop them off about 4pm and pick them up about 9am on Sunday to go to church. Its a nice break for us and fun for the kids to have time with just grandma at her house. She even keeps my step daughter, who is special needs. She also will keep them if we need a babysitter any other time but has been harder since she started working full time a couple years ago. My kids are her only grandchildren.

My husbands mom is in ND and has only seen his daughter maybe 3 or 4 times in her life (she's almost 16). She doesn't call unless we call her and she send a bday gift and christmas gift but other than that doesn't do much.

My in-laws live in town and make every effort to see my kids at least once a week if not more. My parents live about 30 minutes away and try and take the kids out every other weekend. All our parents still work.

However two things. First is that my father lives in TX and we live in IL and he only sees them once a year which really drives me crazy but doesn't seem to bother them all that much. and Second, my mother keeps talking about moving to AZ when she retires and just coming to visit 2 times a year. That really just pisses me off to no end and it doesn't seem to sink into her mind that it will bother her (which I think that it will).

It is hard to say what other people find a priority. I know other people who have the same situation as you and it drives them nuts and have other friends who have parents who meddle all the time and makes them crazy so I guess the grass is always greener.

My mother lives two hours away. She will always come to watch the kids for me if I have a doctor's appointment or just need help. (My husband is active duty military, so this was particularly helpful when he was deployed.) We try to plan a visit either there or here once a month. My son is in therapy twice a week about halfway to my mother's house, so occasionally she will meet me there and bring lunch just to hang out. We have a great relationship and miss spending time together just the two of us, but she also loves my children and they know her and that is also helpful when I need to call for help.

My MIL is a different story. We see her three times a year and that is more than enough. She makes my husband miserable and I really don't need that.

There are as many different types of grandparents as there are parents. Some will mesh will with you and your ideas, others won't. I wish you and your husband the best in coming to terms with what you have and finding what you need and want.

My in-laws live in a different country. BUT, every Sunday evening we skype with them and they get to "see" the kids and talk with them for a minute. My parents live about 40 minutes from us and we see them about 2-4 times a month. We started having dinner with them every other Monday so that the kids can see them more often. (which is something WE asked my parents to do and they were delighted at the idea) Also, in my family there is at least one birthday a month so we see the whole family then as well.
My father works from home and my mother works at the local elementary school so I know they are pretty tired at the end of the week, that's why we suggested Monday's. Who cares if you have to be the one to call them, do it! You suggest meeting once a week or once a month. I am sure they would love the idea.
L.

My in-laws live 1500 miles away. My mom and dad live 1700 and 2200 miles away respectively.

Our families see our kids once a year if they're lucky.

They catch up on Facebook, via online games and so on.

My mother lives 2.5 hours away from us. We try and see her or she comes to us once a month (usually).

My other half, his mother lives maybe 6 minutes from my house and works full time. Before, when she was single, she saw the kids all the time. And better yet, we saw her. She'd come to the house, we'd come to her's. The kids (ours and his brother's son) used to spend allot of time with her (not just baby sitting but family time). Then she met her husband. Who is old and crotchety and who is a truck driver. He's rude, drinks allot and says inappropriate racist things that I do not want my kid around. But to be honest about it, when she started dating him, she stopped even calling her sons to even inquire about her grandchildren. No dinners. Broken engagements with family. No calls, nothing.

So we find that unless we call her, she doesn't know we exist. And it's sad really.

On another note, up and until I had my youngest, my mother treated my older kids like they were the devil spawn. She wouldn't keep them, or come see them or anything stating that "I didn't have them so i don't need to watch them" and things like that. She is making an effort to be a grandmother to my youngest and I'm allowing her to. Its hard for my older kids to watch.

My grandparents were AWESOME people. My grandpa taught me to two step and waltz. He took us fishing and told stories. My grandmother taught me to sew and crochet and to cook. I hope to pass those things along to my grandchildren. And I will keep them so that my children can breath a moment. and because nothing says i love you than spoiling a grandchild ROTTEN and sending them home.

I think about this dynamic allot. You are not alone.

Small consolation I know.

Sending good thoughts your way.

My mom - 3-4 times a week (10 minutes away)
My mom in law and her hubby - about 2 times a year (1,500 miles away)
My dad - he stays with us from November to April, so everyday then. From May through October - usually once or twice. (1,500 miles away)

It always bothers my husband that his mom and step-dad, who are retired, don't make more of an effort. I was always super-close with my grandparents, and he wants our kids to have that same closeness with their grandparents, but they definitely see my parents more.

That's sad. My fil passed away a few years ago so my oldest only met him once. My mil is elderly, beginning stages of alzheimers, and lives in England so very very rarely (but we do skype when someone comes to visit her with a laptop)---not every year. We do call her every single morning though so they talk to her. And I made a "family bingo" game and laminated it, so they can see faces with names/stories about the family. My mom is weird and doesn't travel much, they see her once or twice a year but they talk to her regularly and skype occasionally. My dad: they saw him 6 times last year because I drove the 5 hour trip that many times....he's the closest geographically that we have. He has never come here, and almost never calls. He's kind of an out of sight, out of mind kinda guy.
It makes me sad, but my husband had to let me know that HE grew up fine and didn't meet his only living grandparent until he was 12.....and they don't know what they're missing because it's just the way it's always been. It makes me sad because I was so very, very close to my grandma, and look forward to my guys getting married and having children so I can be awesome like she was.

well we live with my boyfriends parents so they see her every single day, my parents see her once every 3 months when we go down there, once we move into our own place hopefully they will come up more

we are a very close family.....on my side. We may live 2+ hours apart, but we all see each other at least once a month....usually more. This is how we live....simply because it is the choice we make. Family comes 1st for most us.

My ILs are a different story.....not going there today - other than to say: since my MIL passed away 3 years, we've gathered as a family <5 times. & we all live in a 2 hour radius. What a shame.....

At least 5 times a week for MIL, but we live next door - her other children live 4 hours away, and she sees them about every 3 months. So prosimity has a lot to do with it.
If my MIL lived 20 mins away, she would probably see them every week I am sure.
When my mother was alive, and 30 mins away she saw my kids once or twice a week, and called 3 or 4 times a week.

They see my husband's mom 1-2x a month...that is mainly when we are invited out for a family dinner out to eat or I ask her to watch the kids so we can go out.

They see my parents 1-2x a week...usually we go oved and spend the day with them after church on Sundays. Then sometimes during the week they will come over or we'll go over there again. But I talk to both my parents almost every day (usually mom a few times a day and dad every other day) and they are always asking about them, wanting to stay informed, etc.

They hardly see my husband's dad becuase he works nights and that is when we usually see them or his mom comes over to watch the kids.

We live 20 mins from his parents (both work) and 30 from mine (only my dad works. Mom is retired).

I wanted to add that in the summertime, my mom alternates weeks and take my daughter to a playdate then the next week will take only my son. Then the next week will take them both. They do this most weeks in the summer. In fact, she's going to start doing a 2x monthly play date with my 2.5 year old son starting next week now that he is older, listens better, etc.

Hi! I'm not really going to answer your question but I have something to say. My kids are now 18 and 16 and only have one living grandparent (whom they haven't seen in years) but from the beginning we knew our kids were going to need some "old" loving even though they technically had lots of grandparents to go around. We made a conscious effort to expose Steve and Sarah to some dear older folks we knew (mostly from volunteering). When they were little it was always our non-family family that remembered them with cute little gifts and funny cards and lots of grandparenty spoiling. My son was more crushed by the death of my best friend's dad then any of his real or step grandparents. My daughter to this day has a friend she openly calls her grandma. They do things together, they go places together, they are good for each other. I can tell you love has nothing to do with blood. Let your vision of what grandparents should be go and find someone to love your children because they want to, you will all be richer for it.

Both of our families live at least a 6 hour flight away. We see them once a year, sometimes less frequently in person and skype every few weeks.
We are a very busy family with lots of stuff we need or want to do when not working, they are busy retired people involved in lots of activities they enjoy. If we lived closer we would probably still only see them for holidays...

My inlaws live across the street. They may see my kids 1x a week and that is if they happen to be outside when my kids are outside. My girl will also walk over just to say hi because she hasn't seen them.

My mom lives 2 streets over and will call to make an appt. to see my kids because its been 2+ weeks since she saw them.

Life is just busy for all of us.

Growing up, we visited the grandparents every weekend and holiday. With my dad's side of the family, it was a weekly family dinner and all of my aunts, uncles and cousins were there as well.

We made it a point to do the same thing, even before our son was born. My mom passed away 7 yrs ago, but my dad loves to have him visit and will occasionally babysit. He lives about 30 minutes away, so it is difficult to see him more often. My in-laws babysat for us a couple days a week when our son was a baby. Unfortunately, we had to end that arrangement, as they could not physically do it anymore. They are now in assisted living, but we visit them weekly. It always brightens their day to see us, especially our son.

My husband and I often talk about this too. Both our fathers are dead and our mothers do not have significant others and no social life to speak of. So you would think they would want their grandkids over all the time...nope. Neither mother ever asks to keep them. They will say yes if we ask but we feel guilty asking so just hire babysitters if we need them. We talk about moving away alot since the "village" doesn't help anyway.

My in-laws live 10 minutes away from us and we go to the same church. So we see them 2 times a week. They used to babysit my older kids once a week too. My MIL will stop by occasionally and bring treats to the kids. My parents live 12 hours away. We see them 2 times a year or more if my mom can get out here. They are in Iowa and we are in Ohio. My parents call and talk with my kids about every 2 weeks or so too. Over all my kids have a great relationship with all of their grandparents.

We live out of state and the grandparents see us about once every 3 months. However, none of the grandparents are married (there are 3 grandparents) so this had meant that we were seeing 1 grandparent a month for a small stretch. That arrangement actually worked out quite well, but now all grandparents are saving up for a visit when new baby arrives. Miss them a lot, but there's nothing like the closeness we have as a family.

When we lived only an hour and a half away we saw them every 2 weeks.

My in-laws live several states away but if we did live closer we would probably see them at least once a week. They are great grandparents and would come and see us at the drop of a hat. However my own mother is another story. We have a horrible relationship, she's close to 70, can't drive at night, forgets that the oven is on and leaves the house, never asks how I, my husband or the kids are doing. All she want to talk about is herself and the drama or lack of drama in her life. She drives me insane when we talk because she is always up to some stupid scheme. If it we did not live so close I probably wouldn't have any relationship with her at all. As for my own grandparents we only saw them once a year because they all live so far away. They were just my grandparents really no relationship because we never saw them. But it was more due to distance then anything else. Like you said every family is different.

Really think it is based on individuals priorities. I dont think it reflects love felt, or love given. You can love someone and not see them for a really long time. Just asking about your children, or not showing enough concern is not a big deal. Its not that they dont think about your kids, its just that most grandparents are not on the same wave length as children. They LOVE to see kids, and play with them, but sometimes it reminds them of their own mortality. They would rather it just be for fun occasions, rather than a daily occurrence. That does not go for every grandparent. When I was a kid, my maternal (moms) grandfather had died long before I was born, my maternal grandmother was a fickle, angry, hormonal, temperamental, snob, racsit prude that was completely mean to my mom and our entire family. She made it clear my Aunt was gods gift to the earth and her poo did not stink. My mom was last born of 8 kids back in the 40's. My grandmother was so overwhelmed that she tried to sell my mother to her own sister (great aunt). Who refused to buy her, but instead did most of the raising. So my Great Aunt, who never married was in essence my grand mother. She was controlling, over bearing, and super loving. She lived with us until her death. So I was always with her. My Paternal grandparents (dads) were polar opposites in personality and size. My grandmother was a pistol, she was full of love and fire. My grand pa was an total and complete tool, and again a bigoted, racist. Loved him, he loved me but he hated all else. They lived in Texas and us in Minnesota. So we saw him once a year for a few weeks, which was plenty.
As far as my kids grandparents. My mom would have been a BIG part of their weekly lives or more, if she had lived long enough to see them. Only my oldest (5) met her. She died when my oldest was 9 months old. She adored each and everyone of her grandchildren, and made it to everything they did. She over did all birthdays and holidays and practically went broke giving each one anything they ever wanted. She left the world with 10 grand kids. My dad? non-existant at best. If he can remember their names he is lucky. He cant even remember which one belongs to who at a get together. He doesnt really give a hoot either. However, when he is with them he is super fun, loving and great. He just does NOT make it a priority. Its last on his list of things to do. First? Cars, Magazines, sleeping, eating, and working.
My husbands parents live in India, If they were closer they would be a daily fixture in my kids lives. They love them and call every weekend, We skype weekly for at least 2 hours with them. They have seen my oldest for a month when she was 2, and my 2nd child for a month when she was tiny. They have yet to hold and play with my youngest son, which by the way is their pride and joy. My husband is their first born son, so his son is a big deal to them. They are coming for 4 months this summer which I am dreading, and looking forward to all at the same time. I know the kids are going to take some time to get used to them, but once they do, I know I will have a great baby sitter in both my MIL and FIL they are wonderful with kids and super loving, and not strict or over bearing in the least!!! now if I could just have them treat me the same I would be golden.
So in other words, each person is different. Depends how they view the importance of kids, and where they fall in there priority lists.

My heart breaks for your children. I'm in my late 30's but can't wait to be a grandma, not anytime real soon either... But I've always wanted that... I'm very close to my parents, I have followed them. They moved from Illinois to San Antonio, TX, six months later I moved. They moved from there to Dallas area, 6 years later I moved up to Dallas. My parents have always been very close to my older kids, actually being second parents and over stepping boundaries, but that is another issue. I love that they have a close relationship with my kids. My one sister is jealous, but then again, she moved within a year saying it was because of her job she applied for 3 hours away. My parents love being grandparents and even though they are very close to my older two children, they love all their grandchildren. They helped me a lot with my first two, I was in my early 20's and not married. At the time my dad was a farmer and my mom watched them as I worked and went to school.
My parents are close, I make more of the effort to go to their house, which we live 1.5 miles from each other. But my kids go to their house all the time. My dad will call my son to make sure he has a ride home from practice. Family has always been important to my parents, and I want my kids to have the closeness I had with my grandparents too.

My MIL loves my kids too, but we only see her when we go to Illinois. She sends presents on their birthday and christmas, but she can't always do too much for them. She has a lot of grandchildren, that she has also helped raised. I don't get mad that she doesn't call them, because my husband is the same way. He's not as close to his family as I am. Just different upbringing. Not to say one is better than the other. They know he loves them, just as he knows he is loved by them. I know her heart and it's full of love for all of us, so it doesn't bother me. When we do get together, we have a wonderful time.

My grandparents are still alive and my kids know them very well too. My dad and grandpa went to all my ball games growing up. I have a very close relationship with them. I don't see my grandfather on my mom's side too often, but talk to him on the phone. I hope that I can have a great relationship with my grandchildren, and great grand children. I can't wait to be one, just not for at least 10+ years.

My kids see my mother every Monday when she babysits my son while I take my daughter to a class, and then usually they see her one more time a week for short visits (I drop the kids off sometimes when I do my grocery shopping).

My parents are both retired and in their mid-70s.

My in-laws live in Ireland, so we see them when we can --we go there every 2.5 years and they come here to visit us once in that time period.

My parents live in FL (we're in NY), but they see my son quite a bit. If we know ahead of time that we are going to have a childcare issue (daycare is closed, but we can't take the time), my mother will fly up to be with him. They fly up for a week at a time at least 3 times a year and we fly there for a week at a time at least 3 times a year. He talks to them on Skype and on the phone weekly. They have a really close relationship and we really hope to move to FL in the near future so that they can be more active on a daily basis (like they are with my nieces).

My MIL lives about 20 minutes from us and we rarely see her unless we go there. It's a control issue thing with her and we are all aware of it. She has offered to watch our son on occassion, but only if we are really in a jam and make her aware of it. For example, we were both scheduled for "mandatory" work meetings on the same day and our son came down with an ear infection the day before. She happened to call my husband to ask him to help her with something else and he mentioned the situation. She offered to watch him for the 2 hours my husband had to be at work. Does she watch him "for fun" so that they spend time together? Nope. When I invite her over (which I do at least once a month), there's a 50/50 chance she will come. We have stopped telling my son about her visits because he gets upset when she cancels.

On average he sees my parents for a week at a time every-other-month and on the computer each week. He sees my MIL for 2 or 3 hours once a month.

My parents see my kids every weekend. My husbands parents usually only see them on holidays or birthdays.

My parents see our kids every weekend. My in laws on the other hand hardly ever. We are lucky if it's once every 2 months. My FIL works a lot out of state and my MIL works during the day. But it's very rare to see them on the weekends.

My ILs who live about 45 minutes away see the kids about 3-5 times a year. My parents only get to see them once a year due to there being over 1600 miles between us. My ILs never call to talk to the kids. My parents on the other hand do try to call at least once a month. My mom actually calls my daughter a few times a week. My son is nonverbal so its completely understandable as to why he doesn't get as many phone calls. My parents do still talk to him on the phone occasionally.

You sure got a lot of responses. It seems like every family is different. Growing up, both sets of my grandparents lived on the same street as us so we saw them ALL the time. My parents see our kids 2-3x/week minimum. Plus we talk every day. When something exciting happens (i.e. our oldest just got an award for Girl Scouts) she comes home & calls them immediately. They usually go to their concerts (band/choir), school science fairs, etc. My MIL passed away a little over 3 years ago. My FIL sees our kids during holdays & birthdays. He sees them more in the summer (he's older & doesn't like to drive much in the winter and when it gets dark). We go see him too, but since he's alone, he likes to come out & "help" my hubby on projects (some say having an elderly person is like having a small child help with a project, they really want to help & you want them to, but it slows down the process). My in-laws had all sons & they favor the grandsons of the family. My brother-in-law & his wife have 4 kids ~ 2 of each & they see a clear favoring of their boys by my FIL.

My mother passed away and since then my father has had little contact with my kids. He lives 3 miles away. It's like he doesn't know how to be a grandparent just a parent. My in laws live over 30 miles away and would be here more often if they lived closer and were younger. I am thankful for one set of normal grandparents. My kids love them. My kids are scared of my father. They loved my mother. My mother spent a lot of time with them when she was alive. They were little when she died. (7,5,1) I don't know why some grandparents have a hard time with being that. I know with my father he has a hard time with not always being right and not the one in charge.

Until my kids were all in school, my mom watched them three days a week, so we got into a pattern where we don't carve out time to visit them just to visit. They do live 40 minutes away, which is a giant pain. It's been almost 2 years since that arrangement ended and since then, we see them every few weeks. There's usually a birthday or holiday 7 months of the year and then for the other months, they'll come to a hockey game or take the kids to the movies or something.

My FIL and his wife (my MIL is deceased) live a plane ride away for most of the year but have a beach house an hour away from us and my FIL lives there for the summer with his wife coming up every couple of weeks. My FIL flies up here usually once a month in the non-summer months and when he's here, he'll come over 2 or 3 times in a week. His wife isn't able to come as often (he's retired, she's still working an executive job) but when she's here, she's at our house with the kids.

I think that if we were less busy (4 school age kids provide a packed schedule) and either set of grandparents were closer, we'd see them more often. Overall though I think we all see plenty of each other.

My parents live 4 hours away and haven't seen us since New Years - I had invited them (about 2 months ago) for this past weekend as there was a big auction/fun fair to raise money for my sons school but they didn't come :(.....If we do not make the trip down to see them (which is stressful with an ADHD/autistic 5 year old and a 2 year old in the car) they come up maybe twice a year to see us. My father in law lives about 20 miles away - we go to his house a couple of times a month, we initiate the visit.