How Many Times a Night Do Your Kids Wake Up?

Do you help her go potty during the day? If you don't help her during the day, she shouldn't need help going potty at night either. By the time my children were 4 years old they no longer required help going to the bathroom at all.
My suggestion would be to take her gate down and tell her to go potty on her own w/o waking you. If you want to keep her out of your room then leave your gate up to prevent her from climbing into your bed. When you put her to bed at night give her a cup of water that should be enough to last her through the night. When you tuck her in at night, give her clear expectations such as "Sweetie, you are a big girl now and can go potty at night all by yourself. Please don't wake mommy at all." If you tell her she can wake you a few times but after that you won't come in unless it's to go potty, then your just confusing her. She probably can't remember in the middle of the night how many times she's already awoken you.
Children need to learn healthy sleeping habits and sometimes you need to train them in order for them to learn what that is. It is important for her to sleep better for her own health and growth. Until she learns to sleep through the night on her own for an extended period of time, maybe you should keep her out of your bed all together!

I think you are right about mixed signals. I think you need to just cut out cosleeping all together. Think about it, she is waking up in the middle of the night, naturally, and instead of going back to sleep automatically, she is thinking "is this one of my 2x to wake mom? is it morning? can i go in mom's bed now?" she is probably confused. tuck her in at night, give her a small cup of water to keep by her bed, which she can get herself, and tell her the only reason to get up or wake you is to go potty. otherwise, give her stuffed animals or dolls to cuddle when she wakes up. she needs consistent sleep too, so remember, you're doing what's best for both of you!

ps. your question was "how often do your kids wake up?" my daughter is 4. she wakes sometimes shortly after going to bed, crying, but isn't really awake...bad dream? also, i help her go potty on average about 1x per week (we limit drinks at night). and she might wake another 0-2x per week in the middle of the night. she has slept in her own bed/crib from day 1, but she does occasionally wake and say she's ready to wake up. i just tell her it's the middle of the night, she has to go back to sleep.

I wish I had a great answer, but our 4 year old is stealthy like yours!! I have 3 girls . 2, 4, 8. I had them all finally in one giant room upstaris with their own beds and it was a nightmare. I have to put 2 beds together and make a giant bed for all of them and that worked great! My 4 year old can stay awake longer than anyone and she often comes down and wants to cuddle. I have found that if I explain to her that if she is good and goes to bed in her bed, on the weekend we will have a slumber party!! It works great, she looks forward to it, and on Friday or Sat. night we go inthe living room and pull out the couch and hang out. Then, she can sleep with me and stay up!

Try one of those alarm clocks that shows when the kid can get up. She seems old enough/smart enough to be able to see when it's the right time to get up and get snuggles.

My DD will wake up if she's sniffly and she used to wake up around 5 - which I wonder might be her noticing her sister's alarm clock (SD has a 6:30 bus and hit snooze).

If she's used to cosleeping, what about a large stuffed animal to snuggle with?

If you've recently given up co-sleeping than she's just adjusting. Give her a few more weeks to get into the new routine. And yes... I do think you're giving her mixed signals by having her come in to your room after one parent gets up. My girls would totally wake up every hour or so to check on whether it was time. They do this when we make the mistake of telling them about exciting things the next morning too.

So, my advice would be to either let her cosleep all the time, or move her to her room full time (including early mornings). Her body is all excited about coming in to your room and is waking her up throughout the night - you're not doing her any favors by letting her come sleep with you because it's disrupting the rest of her night.

Edited to add: I forgot to answer your first question. I have 4 year old twins. They don't wake up during the night unless they're sick. I probably have one or the other of them yell for me once a month and that's it. But, if I tell them we're driving to the airport the next morning, or someone special is coming over early in the day... they're up ten times that night.

I didn't cosleep but it sounds like it could be an adjustment period since it was so recently that you stopped. What I did with my daughter though was tell her if she woke up that was fine, but she wasn't allowed into our room until 7 on the clock. This way she could go to the bathroom, or even play in her room but she couldn't leave her room (only to potty) unless it was 7. Of course this doesn't apply to emergencies etc., but you could try something like that. That way she isn't waking up to check your status! I would pick a time that is about the time that one of you is out of bed so that your other rule is still being enforced, but it's just modified.