My son is 17, he is 18 in a few weeks.
He was allowed in the house alone when he was 12 for short periods, so between getting home from school and me getting home, or if I had to run to the store quickly, that kind of thing.
He lived with his Dad between the ages of 13 and 16, that whole time he was allowed the place to himseld 8am-8pm on the days where his father worked day shifts, and 8pm-8am when his father worked night shifts, but his shifts fluctuated between both day and night and he only worked 4 days a week, but they did live in an apartment building and he was good friends with the neighbors and told to go there in an emergency.
When my son was 15 his father took a 1 week trip away to look after his ill father (who's made a full recovery) while my son was still going to school and when he was sixteen he went away for about 2 weeks with work.
My son since moving in with me when he was sixeen I left him for 2 days once, then a few times overnight, and once I left him for a week.
We're not completely irresponsible, we leave him with enough food and emergency money and emergency numbers and check in with him every night, our son is a mormon, I don't think there is much he will be doing wrong when we are away
What age do you think its okay.
What happened to the ten page question you had up yesterday that had nothing to do with staying home alone?
Hey Mama,
I would trust your gut on this that something feels not quite right and get some family counseling for you and your son. Would he be open to going with you to talk to someone? Blessings!
There is no simple way to answer your question. Some of what your son is going through may just be age-appropriate as he figures out who he is and what his true interests are.
It does sound like he may benefit from seeing a counselor to work on improving his social skills and talk about any feelings of loneliness or depression that he may have, but you aren't going to help him or yourself in this situation by forcing him to go if he really does not think/believe that there is a problem.
Is there an elder in his church with whom you could talk to about your concerns? As he is involved in his church, maybe he would be more open to the idea of seeing a counselor through that community. Best of luck to you!
"he started doing all the finances of the house".
Seriously?
You allow your high school son do this?
For one thing - you've got a blurred line here between who's the parent and who's the child.
He might be spreading himself too thin.
Generally you/he should pick a few activities and he can only have 2 or 3 at any given time - her can certainly quit one and start another if he loses interest in one.
He's really getting use to running his own life - which isn't a bad thing - but he's almost too old for you to do much to help him.
Once he's 18 - you can't force him to get any help.
I think I'd focus on him finishing school and getting his diploma.
If he wants vocational training - it's not a bad idea.
When he gets a job he needs to save up to eventually get his own place.
I started writing before and ohmy I keep hitting things on the computer that lose my lengthy notes. Anyway, so I will shorten this. Please get some help for him. Or go to get help for yourself.To solve this. It doesn't sound like there is anything that you did. My son sounded so much like yours as did my life in some ways. Please, please get to someone. Perhaps you go to a church person if you can't afford counseling and see what else you can do?
When I was about 16 my parents started leaving me alone when they went on vacation for a week or two at a time. Before that they always had one of my older brothers or sisters come and stay with me.
I don't know your son so please do not take this as an insult. But, I would never leave my teen home for even a weekend. Even if I trusted her, I'm not trusting of the other kids that may come over. I can also tell you that some of the CRAZIEST parties I went to as a teen were at Mormon homes. Heck I even remember being at a party at my best friends house who is Mormon, and they had a stock pile of food (forgive me if I'm wrong, but I think the stock pile had to do with them being Mormon) that everyone ate when they got high and got the munchies. Lots of the kids at the party were from the Mormon church. Many of them left a couple years later to go on Missions.
I suggest you ask son how he feels about going on a mission. He may be feeling left out and lacking due to that. He isn't sexually active or doing drugs, drinking, things like that right?
Perhaps he can find a way to graduate before he turns 19 and can go on his own mission as soon as he has that birthday. Some young men join the church as adults and go on missions even in their 20's. He should feel good about himself and not left out.
If he will go meet with the Bishop it may help him come to terms with his lack right now.
He is all alone, I can tell you that he found a home with his friends at church. He has things in common with them and enjoys the friendship with them. He has nothing in common with many kids at school and he absolutely feels alone. Are there other young men he goes to school with that are members?
I think his Bishop would be an excellent source of counsel. Please ask kiddo if he would mind if you and he went to talk to the Bishop about the possibility of him planning a mission soon. This might help him refocus on what he needs to do to get high school finished and behind him then going to college and on a mission.
