How Do You Know When Your Marriage Is Over?

It is something that only the people involved can decide. Love, I could have lived without love, I have a decent imagination. When he started abusing the kids I was done.

When you no longer care what your spouse thinks or feels about you. The point of indifference is the end of love.

When the lawyers are finally paid off.

:(

I think if you changed your post title to read as your intro sentence states, How do you know when a marriage is over? --you'd get more answers. Every post on this site is that someone is "Just Curious".

--and because this is a VERY VERY good question.

In my case, I divorced when I finally came out of the closet.

My ex was wonderful. He is now remarried and from FB seemingly happy.

there's no one right answer.
the passionate, sweet, tender love can be gone, but if there's still liking and respect and shared goals and friendship, a marriage can not only continue but be relatively successful.
some marriages have no lifelong heart love, but enough sexual spark to keep it afloat.
most marriages go through 'loveless' periods. there are so many factors that go into figuring out if that's a signal that it's over, or impetus to try harder.
a marriage certificate would never be enough for me to sentence myself to an entire lifetime of lovelessness if there wasn't any prospect of rekindling it.
khairete
S.

Hi L. - here's how I knew.

We were sleeping in different beds, never discussing anything, we'd spend the weekends (after the kids were in bed) on different floors of the house, I told my husband "I feel no connection at all to you and I feel if something doesn't change divorce will be inevitable" (I said this two years ago) - rather than discussing things with me he went into the basement to watch baseball.

a marriage is only over when one of the people is done trying. anything can be fixed if both are willing to fight for it. but it takes FIGHT. not just half-assing it. on both partner's part. 100% true commitment.

love comes and goes, the bond weakens and strengthens, this is life. what separates the couples that make it from the couples that don't is that they FIX what needs fixing. no matter what. they put their marriage as top priority. when it comes down to it, it either is, or isn't.

My marriage will never be over...till death do us part. I watched my parents go through a divorce and would never want to go through it. Now of course, I am not in your shoes. But I do believe that often times, couples get distracted with other things (work, kids, housework, money issues) and don't give their marriage the full attention it deserves. Anger sets in, resentments build, and suddenly there are mostly negative feelings. However, if you could find a way to rediscover the inner love that brought you together, you can find a way to rekindle.
One gentlemen posted something a while back about a movie called Fireproof. Be aware that it has religious convictions but even if you are not religious, there are some wonderful things that you can take away from this film. It is very realistic too.

I am hopeful for you that you and your DH find a way to work it out. I'll say a prayer for you. Good luck!!!

The opposite of love isn't hate, it's indifference.

Do people that are I different toward each other stay married?
Sure.
But it's sad, isn't it?

I don't think anyone can answer this question for anyone else without being somewhat familiar with some details, circumstance, etc.

I took the vow "Until death do we part."

I think that just by asking this question you may already know the answer to it. Taking inventory of things is always the best thing that I choose to go w/when it comes to something this intense. I write down a list of the reasons why i want something, why it no longer appeals to me & what i need to get it back or to improve things. Oftentimes I find myself in front of the computer just typing out my thoughts & such as well. I truly wish you the best of luck with this. My marriage has been full of many ups & downs, we buried my mom early on, have almost lost our oldest daughter twice, survived her being raped, a whole train wreck.......hell even went to marriage counseling prior to being married because I was diagnosed bipolar right before we were supposed to get married & are still together, but I know that there are circumstances that don't always apply that keep both parties willing. Again, I truly wish you the best of luck in all you do with things and I'm sure that this must be a hard thing that you are going thru.

I think Mamazita came really close to nailing it---I would also add that when one feels that staying in the relationship is no longer healthy for them, and when they can tell themselves that they have exhausted every available avenue for mending the relationship.

That said, we can only fix ourselves-- we can't change others.

I personally feel that living a loveless marriage is toxic. Marriage, to me, is a very sacred vow, however it also implies that BOTH parties are willing to do the work required of a marriage (and having a family, if that is their situation). When one or the other quit their investment in the relationship, or disowns their own responsibility in keeping relationships healthy, then I do think that it creates a very rough atmosphere, esp. for kids to live in and see. Marriage is tough work, sometimes, and while kids can handle parents working hard to solve their problems and work through disagreements, even in some rough times, I do think it's harder for them to witness their parents simply not caring about each other. We are their models for what marriage should look like. Would we any of our children to stay in a loveless marriage, even if only for the sake of their children?

L.-
My opinion/experience is this: your marriage doesn't sound hopeless at all. I've been through similar feelings but stuck it out. Things changed for us, it was just a bad "season". The rewards of doing so are immense. Hang in there, lots of prayer and self examination will show you the way. I honestly wish you all the best...

"How do you know when a marriage is over?" My marriage? When one of us dies.

Other's marriages? When they declare they are no longer in love and get a divorce.

http://newlife.com/newlifemarriageweekend

I would fight for the marriage first. Maybe this would help. I know they have these type of retreats all over the country.

Here's another resource:
http://www.focusonthefamily.com/marriage/articles/marriag...