How Do I Put the Spark Back in My Marriage?

I recently read an article that talked about how many marriages lose spark when couples become to busy to even kiss each other. Making time for lip locking might be a small, but significant start.

I know what you mean!!

Switch it up dear!! make time for him in the AM before the kids get up!! Yeah - you'll be waking up earlier - but won't it be fun?!!! :)

I just stated in another post there have been times I've gotten "rid" of the kids and when hubby comes home - i'm in nothing but an apron, smile and a beer in hand!! WOO-HOO!!!

When he wants to talk and you want to stare at wall, simply state - if you can do this for me...(whether it is getting the kids ready for bed or getting lunches ready for the next day), we can have more time for us...you'd be surprised at the response you get!!

i'm sorry your son is sick!! Take a minute (more like 30) to use a clorox wipe on doors, door knobs, toilet handles, faucet handles, etc. to stop him from getting sick again!!

We've been to marriage conferences and that helps get you motivated. They have motivational speakers, married couples that talk to you about improving your marriage. They are great if you can afford it and have the time to take off from weekend activities. Barbara and Gary Rosberg are wonderful speakers. They are called America's Family Coaches and you can search for them online. They have wonderful books and are great speakers. FamilyLife has conferences that are wonderful. I highly recommend their conferences. They are a weekend type of conference and provide helpful activities for you and your spouse while you are there at the conference. There website is www.familylife.com We have been to several and always enjoy them. Look at it as retreat for your marriage or ways to keep improving in your marriage. Yes, I experience the same thing and I have a disability with my hands and our child has a disability. It is frustrating and can be overwhelming at times. Both my Husband and Son have been sick this week and fortunately I haven't gotten it! It is hard, however it has to be scheduled in your calendar or you won't do it. I have to physically write it in on my calendar or I won't remember to do it.

If your child is at school, meet for a lunch date or one day a week have your child at the sitters or if he's at school and this will give you all some time to talk and uninterrupted time! You definitely need that.

One thing we do is Parent's Night Out. It is at our church and it is one night a month. It starts at 6:30 p.m. and goes till 11 p.m. Some churches do it for less time. There is usually a fee, but it is reasonable. Our fee is $25. It is enough time for you to go out to eat or see a movie or just spend some time alone together. The church has sitters there to watch our child, while we go out and do what we want. Check into churches in your area for Parent's Night Out or Mother's Day Out programs (mostly these are for younger children). If you don't have a church that does this, hire a sitter or if you have family nearby, schedule for your child to be with the sitter for a day or an evening or even a weekend a month. Join a babysitter exchange or a Mom's Group that has a babysitter exchange, where you can swap with another Mom on babysitting. Our Son goes to see his Nana once a month for a weekend. She lives 3 hours away and that helps her see her Grandson and we get a break from being Parents and get to reconnect and have a date night and get some cleaning done on the house and do things we don't get a chance to do with our Son around.

We use to facilitate a marriage enrichment group, we no longer do it anymore. We would do a bible study for married couples and work on different workbooks and those helped. It isn't meant to be counseling, it is more for you and your spouse to spend time together talking thru the provided questions.

One thing we bought at a marriage conference was a really neat tool to help us with date nights. It is called Simply Romantic Nights. I don't know if they still make this, but if they do get it. I highly recommend it. We did it for a long time and then once we had a child, got out of the rut and we need to start doing it again. Here's what it says on the box:
We guarantee Simply Romantic NIghts will build anticipation and sizzle into your marriage or your money back. Discover Intimacy in a New Light. Moonlit strolls. Cozy fireside chats. Candlelit dinners. And that's just the beginning. Unveil passionate creativity.... inside 24 sealed envelopes. Every month, you and your spouse will each pick a romantic adventure- like "Monday Night Touch Football" or "Coffee, Tea and Me"- to rekindle the flames of passion in your relationship. We've also added a special anniversary celebration. There is also a simple romance inventory which will light the way to deeper communication about intimate matters. It is written by Christian authors of books for couples. We've done them and they are a lot of fun, especially for couples that are busy and need a little help planning a special date night. They are not your typical go out to eat type of date. It does take some planning and that's why it is only once a month. You have a month to prepare for your date. Some of the things are easier to prepare than others. Most of the time it isn't too bad (one example would be like fixing fondue)- heating the chocolate up and fixing strawberries, cheese, bread,etc.. to dip in the chocolate and this is your date after you eat dinner. It is mostly a dessert date and you have fun eating the goodies and talking and whatever else you would like to do and it gives extra instructions on the card. Hope this helps! Good Luck and let us know how it works out!

Just plan it when you pay your bills or when you are scheduling your appointments for the month or activities for the month. You have to make your marriage a priority because when the kids grow up and leave home, it will be you and your spouse again.

You know all of us moms go through this and unfortunately the hubby gets left out. I have been feeling guilty as well because I have been pregnant for 10 months just had a baby about 2 weeks ago and the hubby has not be getting any affection or attention. We have a 6 and 4 year old on top of that. But I think the key is to do the small things that will make your hubby feel loved and have your attention as well. Try feeding the kids first once a week and then letting them go watch tv play in their room or time it around there bedtime. Then have alone dinner time with your hubby to have adult convo and to pay attention to him. Then out of nowhere lay with him on the sofa if you want to relax and give him a foot massage while you get a chance to lay down he gets a massage and then you both have time for convo as well. Then I like to in a blue moon hop in the tub with my hubby and bathe him. It sounds corney but he looks forward to those days. Also making him a meal from childhood or his favorite dessert goes a long way as well. Well I could go on and on about ways to spruce up your love life but just remember its the little things that mean the world. Feel free to ping me if you like. Good Luck!

Start with just 5 minutes of uninterrupted time with him. Just reconnect at the end of the day. I know it will be hard but taking the time is important. Perhaps asking him to help with a few things in the evening might help make it easier to spend time with him. It is so important for your marriage and kids that you make time for your husband. Good luck

We've all been there. It could be the quality of your vitamins. Not all are equal. I work with healthcare professionals doing natural health seminars and we show how some pills never break down in some people. Even brands you would expect to because of their marketing budgets. I was tired all the time before I got the right supplementation in my system. If you want to know more, I am willing to share!

Figure out what turns you on (like really turns you on) and get just a taste of it when you're more awake. Maybe it's a passionate kiss, a little dirty talk, hands on the back of your neck, whatever. Ask him to do a little of that in the morning, when he comes home from work, before you're sticking the kids in the bath, whatever. Most men are like a campfire - you get it going, it burns big, they do their thing and the fire burns out. Women are like a gas oven - you need to keep that pilot light lit all the time for it to really get cooking : )

As for the energy just to talk, just talk with your head resting on his shoulder or in his lap. Ask him to rub your head. Have him do the dishes while you do bath with the agreement that he'll get 30 minutes of undivided time in exchange.

Whatever you end up doing, just remember it's not unreasonable to ask your husband to help you make the change. Be it giving a backrub, doing something around the house, etc. Give and get, that's what a marriage is.

Good luck.

Here is something my hubby and I just started and it has worked for us: Make a calendar of "Date Nights" and "Early Mornings" Have 1 date night a week and 1 early morning a week.....Take the time to reconnect by talking, watching a movie, enjoying something together (shower, video game, whatever), make love, etc.....STICK to the dates planned...add more when and if you can......

My hubby are together just about all the time, but recently, we realized something has been missing from what 'used to be'. We work together, we ride to and from work together, we pick the kids up together, we do home improvements and cleaning together, we work on the cars together... There is very little we don't do as a team. But... Somewhere, we both got lazy on the lovin each other part. So, I took the initiative and made specific plans on throwing the lovin in the schedule. I am the scheduler of everything.

So my kids are both in bed by 8pm. No question. Every evening. I put into the plan that right after the kids go to bed, hubby and I take a shower together. I took advantage of him in the shower and we continued just outside the shower... On the countertop! (yes, I'm super anal about my bathrooms cleanliness... So the countertop got scrubbed right after) : P

But that was just the start of the week! I continued for a few other nights, similarly. It just takes one night for you to take the initiative and then he will follow. Sometimes I'm downright exhausted, but what's 20min?

Sex in the daytime or conversation in the daytime. Which often means coordinating schedules/ arranging for childcare. But I've found even an hour or an hour and a half while AWAKE is better than all evening in Zombie mode. :) NOTHING else kills the libido than being tired. It's pure physiology.

Get someone to baby sit your kids for a night and go out with your husband.

Take a bath together

Snuggle and watch a romantic movie together after kids go to bed!

I was too tired too, and then I decided I just had to make it happen (sex, that is). It's amazing how much energy it gives you. And it's a great sleep aid too. Right before bed and you just sink into sleep with that warm happy feeling. Much better than a sleeping pill.

As for the other stuff. Try to make it happen in other ways when you aren't so tired, like an email in the middle of the day, a quick call during lunch, or a "thinking about you" note in his breifcase.

It's important for the kids that mom and dad have a great relationship, so try not to feel too guilty if you ignore them everyone once in a while to make your relationship with your husband be the priority for an hour. I have a friend who has a date night once a week in which they put the kids to bed an hour early. The kids are actually very supportive of it! If they aren't, you could make it a movie night for the kids with a video in another room while the two of you reconnect.