I have a wonderful daughter she is 13 months old. i just found out i was pregnant 2 weeks ago. as of right now my daughter sleeps with us but i need to get her to sleep by herself i have been starting her out sleeping by herself when she falls asleep but an hour later she wakes up and screams because she is not in bed with us.. what do i do to get her to stay asleep and sleep on her own.. i dont mind her sleeping with me but when the new baby comes i dont want to have to leave her in bed and get up to feed, she likes to try and jump down off the bed.
I just want to say thank you for all of your advices. I have been successful in what i have done.. I moved her crib into our bedroom and used the pillow idea (great idea!!!). I put one of my pillows in her crib and she has slept in her bed all night long(for 4 nights now) and only wakes up one time a night instead of 50, when she wakes up i pick her up and rock her in my arms for a minute or two then when she falls asleep i put her right back and she's out until morning.. YEAH!!! I didn't even have to go thru her screaming she just sleeps but i still rock her to sleep before bed. Anyway i get much more sleep and she sleeps in her own bed. win win situation! now i'm not so worried about the new baby coming and they will all be in our room and not in our bed! haha .. anyways thanks again for every comment!!
K.,
My 20 month old has been doing this after sleeping in his own crib for months. What we have discovered is that by putting my pillow or husbands pillow in bed with him he will sleep. He spends two nights a week with his 27 year old sister and she puts her pillow in his bed and her house and it works there also.
J.
Hi my name is A.. I hope that i can help you or at least give you pointers. I have a 4yr old and a 8 month old. With my oldest I did the same thing that you have done put her in my bed.She is now 4 and she still gets in our bed. she has her own and she always has,but i always layed down with her for nap and bed times and it was hard to get her to sleep. but have had a lot pointers and this one seemed to help the most. When you but her to bed for the night put her in her bed and lay beside her. If she has a toddler bed make pallet beside her and hold her hand. if she has twin bed get in bed with her and with and extra pillow and when she falls asleep and you when she is good and asleep then you can get up and just lay the extra pillow beside her and put is close to her like it is you. It worked on my 4yr old and it is still working. For nap time make a pallet in living room and let her watch about 5 or 10 mins of a cartoon and then tell her that it is nap time if she does not want to sleep then just make her lay there with t v you can even let her lay on couch while you read a magizine but just tell her that she has to be really still and just rest,
i hope that this can be helpful for you . good luck and congrats.
A.
K., sweetheart... this is gonna be hard, not only for you, but for your daughter. But what you have to do is let her scream. Any book, maybe even your mother, will tell you that for her to learn how to comfort herself..... put herself to bed, that you have to put her into bed at bedtime, in her own bed.
Now it's a great idea to have her fall asleep with you and then you put her in her own bed. But once you put her in her bed.... leave her! You know when her cry really means that something is wrong...like i'm wet, or i'm hungry. wait for those cries before you go and pick her up. Now if it's not one of those cries, and you just can't stand letting her cry, go in and pat her back, sing to her....but DO NOT PICK HER UP!!!
It's supper hard, again, for you and for her. But the sooner she learns that bedtime is bedtime, and that your bed is your bed...the better. Also, don't give up, I thought that my son would never sleep on his own....and yes sometimes I would put him in bed with me. but once I got over it, it seemed that so did he. And he knows that bedtime is bedtime and that my bed is my bed. Well I hope that this helps! P.S. it is ok to let children cry, it helps build up their lung muscles, and teaches them to comfort themselves.
we started co sleeping with our first daughter who is now 6 years old and she and her three year old sister sleep with us still. we also have a two month old who is sleeping in a bassinet beside the bed. it sounds like your daughter is scared when she wakes up alone. i would just let her continue sleeping with you. the more the merrier. we have a side that clips onto the edge of the bed to keep anyone from falling out. good luck
my my, u have one, i went through this and now she is 7. i put her in bed with me so, i can sleep. I had to work the next morning, and that was the only way she would sleep. she smelled me, that's what they say. I put her a toddler bed in my room after i removed her baby bed. i fixed her side of the room up in what ever , power puff at the time.she slept in her bed. even she has her own room.no problems. turn the t.v., on low. or just let them cry it out and they will get use to their own room. put a night light in, sometimes they think they are to watch t.v., all night and you need quiet.good luck, with this one and your up coming one.
K.
This will sound horrible, but my husband slept on the sofa with my daughter on his chest from the time she was an infant until she was two years old, and as long as a tall tree. She was born with allergies and did not sleep well from birth. We attempted all sorts of methods but we could not stand the screaming and sleepless nights. We thought we were getting more sleep with her on his chest on the sofa and me in the bed.
Until we changed ourselves, meaning acceptance of screaming and not jumping to her aid every time she cried throughout the night, things did not change. When she was 2yrs 4 mo old, We placed a baby gate to the doorway of her room. Placed her in bed at 8pm, turned the light off and walked away. Our daughter screamed for 3+ hours (I watched the clock in agony), but when she fell asleep at the doorway floor, she slept all night. We did the same thing the next night and the screaming continued but finally it was all quiet on the western front and she sleept all night. This went on for two weeks. Sometime in the third week when we placed her down at 8:oo she was asleep around 8: 45 and we removed the gate that night. She did wake up that night, but she stood at her bedroom door and called for her father. Psychologically the gate was still in her mind. We watched her from the camera in our room and did not come. She sat on her bed and eventually went back to sleep.
My friend who is a child and adolescent psychologist told us that she an her husband lock their bedroom door at night. She told us a long time ago just do it cold turkey. No specific technique stops a child from using a small window of opportunity. Bed time is bedtime. Once your train them instead of allowing them to train you. Then the whole family is happier. We did not realize how good it felt to sleep together in our bed again. Not to mention we reestablished our love life after TWO WHOLE YEARS after baby.
Hey K.,
I hate to say it, but you need to let her "cry it out." I am a first time mom of a nine month old. She slept in our room in her own crib, until my mother experienced some very serious health problems. At that point my husband would have our baby asleep and ready for me to hold or lay by when I got home late. I was working at the time and spent weeks back and forth to the hospital. Then I tried to put her in her big girl room by herself and she had to be by me, just like your little one. One night in the middle of the night she woke up and I couldnt get her back to sleep. I put her in her crib, she cried off and on for an hour and a half. I laid in the hallway and went in every few minutes to tell her I love her and pat her. We are going on two weeks now, and she goes to sleep for naps and bed time on her own and is sleeping better and longer each time. At this point she wont even let me rock her to sleep, which makes me sad, but my mom assures me that when she gets a little bigger she will let me do that again. I am more restful and so is she. I didnt want to let her "cry it out" but I hate to say that it worked and only took a few days for her to stop crying almost all the way. She whines and cries alittle sometimes, but for the most part it has been an amazing transition. I would advice you to try this when you are not exhausted, so that you dont get to frustrated. All the basic research or advice I got went back to this method. It was that one time ONLY that she was that upset and last that long, since then she has fallen asleep in mintues! Good Luck.
You might try buying her a cute little bed that can go in your room and try transitioning her to that little bed until she is on her own. Then start moving her to her bed when she is asleep.
Wait a while before you go into her room after she wakes up in the night. Comfort her by putting her back down, patting her back and talking. But don't pick her up. It will be difficult. Take longer the next time before you arrive in her room and the time after, letting her know she is a big girl for staying by herself. This will train her into getting herself to sleep instead of relying on you and make your night get easier. Eventually she will be putting herself back to sleep. Start a bedtime routine each night like bathtime at the same time, brush the teeth, then bedtime story and a song and off to bed in her room.
We have gone through this a few times with our daughter and the first time was the worst. The couple times after that were better and I think it's because of how we handled it the first time. Each time my daughter would come into our bed we'd get up and put her right back in her own bed. She did this several, several times again and again each night and we just were consistent to a fault. We put her right back each time and comforted her, but did not linger in her room. It was VERY hard because she was upset and it was very hard because we lost lots of sleep for the sake of standing our ground. I'm convinced it's the only thing that works. The second night she did it less times (maybe 10 times the first night that we decided this battle was going to be over! and maybe 6 times the second night, twice the third and none the next). I would advise absolute consistency and not lingering when you put your child back in her room again and again.
Hope this encourages you!
