Getting a Two Year to Sleep in His Own Bed

Near bed time get toy with built in music box and start playing it and make it a get to bed attraction.Try a night light and snuggle toy with music, and give him a bottle of oatmeal in his milk bottle.

This response is too late for the two year old, but should you have another child, let that child start off is his own bed. I had 4 children and none of them ever slept anywhere except in their own bed.

Hi A.,

When we first moved our son to his big boy bed it was a fight every night for weeks. We sometimes had to walk him back to his room at least 10 times!

What finally worked for us was reading a book in bed together, leaving the light on, and then I went to the $ bin at Target and made a treasure bag. Every night he slept in his bed he got to pick out a prize the next morning.

We did the prizes for about two weeks, and after that it was a non issue.

Best of luck to you!

C. Roeschen
The Trinity Group
Keller Williams
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www.TheTrinityGroup.org

That must be frustrating for you. My son just turned 2 in Dec. and we moved him into a toddler bed from his crib cold turkey. We use a child gate at his door with the door open. I am just curious why this didn't work well? It has been fine here, one night we tried closing the door and he did not like that so we just continue with the gate. It took about 3 nights before he completely stayed in the bed after we put him to sleep but we never let him out of the room.
I think the key is even when you go in to calm him down, stay in his room, do not make coming to your room an option or he will continue to expect it. Good luck and be consistent, it will get better :)

I raised three boys and each one tried something a 2 years they want to be boss, look at who's getting to be it. first set down a breakfast and set some rules family rules. so he soesn't feel they are just his rules each person sleeps in their own bed the dog has his spot and so does each and everyone else. is in the light of day he objects ask why and listen to why. he may have a viable reason are there limbs across his window (that was the problem for my brother) he sas sure they were arms out to take him from home don't just assume he's through s tantrum find out why and do not wait til at night. hope this helps.

I'm sorry you're frustrated. I would continue laying down with him (in his bed)--he's only 2 and this phase will not last forever. One of us still lays with our 3.5 year old until she falls asleep b/c she goes to sleep more quickly. I happen to like that snuggle time, personally.

I know every child's needs are different, but here's what worked for me:

Back in October, my 2 yr old nephew came to live with me. For the previous year or so, he had been under my mother's care. He slept with her in her bed every night, going to bed sometime around 10 pm and waking up around 6:30 am. He was allowed to do just about anything he wanted. I knew I had a battle ahead of me.

Well, I took the mattress out of his baby bed (which was collecting dust) and put it in my bedroom floor. I refused to let him sleep with me. I tried to lay him down around 8:30 pm and let him try to fall asleep by himself. Of course I got the standard tantrum. I decided to just let him cry it out. He would eventually get tired and fall asleep, right? So, when I went to bed that night at 10:30 pm, he finally calmed down. Wow. This went on for about a week and a half. I would lay him down, he would cry and throw a fit, but would calm down after about an hour of listening to him. Somewhere in that time I started to turn on his favorite music CD on a really low volume. This seemed to take his tantrums down to just whining.

A friend suggested to me that I should lay down beside him until he fell asleep. Mostly because I was tired of listening to him throw a fit, I tried it. It took him about 30 min. to go to sleep, but it worked. He was fine. I did this for about two weeks or so, and each time it took him less time to fall asleep. I continued using the music as well. No fits!

I decided to take the next step. I cleaned out my spare bedroom and got him his own bed. A co-worker of mine had a toddler bed that looked like a car that he wanted to get rid of. I thought he might be excited to try out his new bed. I continued to stay in the room until he fell asleep, which was beginning to become a drag. I was also really sick of having his kiddie music stuck in my head! LOL! He did wake up in the middle of the night a few times that first week, but then it was smooth sailing after that.

I waited another month or so and decided that he was getting comfortable with the situation. It was only taking about 5-7 mins for him to fall asleep. I just told him one night that he was going to be a big boy and go to sleep by himself and that I would be right there in the next room. He said "OK", and we've never looked back. I still turn on the music, and I leave his door open and the hall light on so that his room isn't dark. I never hear a peep out of him until I go into his room and get him up in the morning.

It was a long battle, but the end result was well worth the two months or so of sacrifice. I think I was able to make the change gradual enough that he didn't freak out. I don't know much about being a parent...just what I've learned in the past three months or so, but I hope this helps you.

-B.

What my husband and I did for my two children was that we would take turns sleeping in their rooms, while they slept in "their" beds. We would tell them that we were having a family sleep over in her/his room and they would have to sleep in their bed, while we slept on the floor. We did this from 1 1/2 wks to 2 wks., depending how long it would take them to feel comfortable sleeping alone in their beds. Since my husband works and I stay at home, we would altenate days. Most of which I slept w/ the kids. When I would sleep in there, at first, I'd sit next to them on the floor and slowly get comfortable to sleep on the floor, holding their hand. Mid week, I'd get up in the middle of the night and go to my own bed, in my own room. Of course, doing that I always made sure the toddler gate was placed. I did that for their safety, in case they woke up and wondered around. Since our bedrooms were right next to eachother, I'd place it in the hall way, this way they could wonder into our bedroom (being baby proofed already). If not, I'd place the gate to where it would limit them to their rooms only (being baby proofed). Within no time, the kids would go off into their own beds all on their own to sleep.

If you choose to, you can break it down in this manner...
* 3 days (sleepover) sleeping/waking near your child, near the bed
* 3 days (trying it out) sleeping in there with your child, middle of the night sleep in your own bed, then pretend you slept all night in there. when they wake up, be in there.
* 3 days (being on their own) sleeping in there until they fall asleep, go to your own bed and wake up in your own bed and them on their own.

I have passed on this advice to others and have told me that it has worked for them, too.

I really hope that helps you. Good Luck!

And remember, always make sure your house is baby proofed at all times. =)

I have a three year old that does the same thing. He is always thirsty at bed time or needs to go potty or something. I have found that when he is on a regular schedule he goes to bed easier. For instance:
1. About 30-40 minutes before bedtime take a hot bath.
2. Get ready for bed.
3. Straighten up bedroom (pick up toys).
4. Read book to him.
5. Remind him during the book when there are like 3 pages left before bedtime, then two pages, then last page.
6. Give him goodnight kisses.
7. Just keep putting him back to bed and reassure him you love him.
8. Eventually he will fall asleep.

After you repeat the schedule he will adjust. It just takes a lot of determination and he will try everything to get out of it.

Good luck.

L.

We will be making the trans to a toddler bed in five months and I was told to put a baby gate at the door and because my child is a climber to put another gate above that one. I hear closing the door can scare them.

I hope this helps.

Do you ever watch supernanny? I beleve in that method.
The best explanation I learned was this: Lets say you are sleeping on your pillow & you wake up (for whatever reason) and you are lying on your pillow, just like you were when you went to sleep, so you automatically go back to sleep. BUT if you awake & your pillow has fallen on the floor you know something is different (your pillow is gone) then instead of going right back to sleep you wake up more because something is different & it makes you wake up more instead of going back to sleep. This is the reason children need to be put to bed awake & fall asleep on their own. If they are rocked or held when falling asleep & they awake in the night 'something is different' than when they fell asleep & they awake more. Make sense?? It is much kinder to them in the long run.
It might take a night or two to be successful but it's very important to make a nightly bedtime routine. ie bath, book & to bed. That way he learns what to expect. Then tell him it's nite nite time & put him to bed & leave the room. If he gets up you tell him it's nite nite time & take him straight back to bed. Then if he gets up again you don't say anything OR give him any eye contact & take him to bed again. Up again? take him back to bed & sit on the floor by his bed (still no eye contact) this might take hours the first night, but it will work. Keep putting him back in the bed & as he stays in bed you scoot farther away from his bed until he falls asleep.
Sorry this is so long, Best of luck to you.

Hi A.,

I have a 2 1/2 year old little girl. We changed her crib to the toddler bed about 2 months ago. She did really well at first, (I don't think she understood she could climb out!) but now we have lots of trouble. She is very scared of her window. It has been really windy lately and I am thinking that is some of it. Also, for some silly reason, we let her watch Monsters Inc. and who knows where else she has heard of monsters, but my mother in law suggested making up a "Monster spray" (water and a little fabric softener) and we spray around her window at night. It hasn't worked completely, but it helps. Has your child been sleeping with your husband on the couch for a while now or gotten used to sleeping in your bed? Maybe once he is calmed down (or even before bedtime) try and discuss why he gets so upset. Ask if he is scared, or would like some water in bed. We sometimes leave the closet light on and crack the door (much brighter than a nightlight) We also rotate her stuffed animals she gets to sleep with and try to always read a book before bed to help calm her down. Not sure if any of these suggestions will help, but good luck and hang in there! You're not alone!

A.
Good luck in trying to get him to sleep in his big noy bed, I also have a 2 year old who will not and has never slepted in his own bed. So I don't have any suggestions I just wanted to give you support b/c I know I could use some.

I know this will seem very difficult at first, but just let him cry - and no matter what, don't go in his room to get him! We watched this study on tv a few years ago and the parents agreed to not go into the room when the child cried. As the week progressed, the child cried less and less and eventually quit. (The child even vomited, he got so upset, but they agreed to not go in no matter what. That must've been hard to do!) But it works. Good luck!

Hey, we just changed my 22 month old daughters crib into a toddler bed about 10 days ago, and she was doing the same exact thing....tried the gate too. didn't work. The last few night however have been much better. We were starting to think she might feel vulnerable in the dark. So we put a night light in her room, and closed the door after she finally fell asleep. Then I noticed in the middle of the night she didn't cry out this time...but she opened the door. So now we just turn every thing off...tv...etc..which is kind of hard, when it is her bed time so she won't be distracted thinking there's something going on she wants to be a part of. And then we turn her night light on and then leave her door open...but so far we still have to sit right outside the door (me) or sit on the sofa (my husband) until she falls asleep. And if we still are up and want to watch tv after she's asleep, we'll close her door and when we're finished open it before we go to bed. Hopefully this may give you some ideas. I thought I was going to lose it that first week from lack of sleep. Hopefully it will keep working. I think the best suggestion I got was to keep trying different stuff until you find something that works for you. So far this is working for us.

Good luck!

Drea

my name is A. too! Having experienced this too... i think i can help. my son is now 13 yrs. old. you have to let him cry it out, no other way to put it. he knows you love him. i know it is very hard. once you have read him a story, got the drink of water, turned on night light or whatever routine you have, then that is it. if he gets out of bed, walk him back to his bed and say "i want you to go to bed" and that's it. you will have to do this several times and for a few nights(hopefully) until he gets the message that you mean business. if you give in, he will know you are not serious. it's tough but you can do it!

A.,
I soooo know what you are going through. We have the same problem with our 16 month old. We had to take him out of the crib and into a toddler bed because he is a phenomenal climber and we knew the crib was a serious accident waiting to happen. He slept through the night at 5 weeks and did so until 7 months when we bought a house and moved. Ever since then we have had to hold him or lay down with him for him to go to sleep. We have his toddler bed next to our bed and some nights he will sleep there the whole night but most nights he wakes up and climbs into our bed or screams until we put him there. I read all the responses to your post and we are going to start him in his bed this month. It just kills me the thought of letting him cry because we did that and he cried and screamed until he was horse, vomitied and was so weak he could barely move. I just couldn't keep doing it to him. Maybe I am weak but it kills me to hear it. But, I also desperately want my husband and I to have our room back. We are going to try the baby gate but I have a strong feeling he will climb over it. Shutting the door on him just makes me ill. If ya'll have success trying any of these tips please let me know. I am getting desperate!! Thanks and good luck!!
M.

A.,
I had read several articles and it was never easy. It just takes alot of patience and consistancy with my little one. I started with doing the night time routine as ussual and then sitting in a rocker with the lights out and Ada in her bed. She tried to talk to me and get up but I would just place her back in her bed. Much cryng went on long nights but once she got that routine down then I moved out to her doorway. I sat there and when she would cry I reasured her I was near. Still long nights for a bit. Then you move out again I went to my room. When she got up I would tuck her back in etc.. It's all about being consistant. I would let Ada cry no more than 15 min to start with before going in to reasure her but do not take him out. Tuck, hug and kiss. Just make sure your not assuming on the time watch the clock once again it will take several days. But your teaching him how to fall asleep without you this is learned for some and painful for parents. If you break the cycle you will be back to square one again you must be firm your not a bad mom (i use to think so) it was the hardest on my husband he wanted to go pick her up and I would not let him. It works like everything else it's being consistant. I would try to make the night routine as fun as possible and gave her an option who she wanted to take to bed with her. I hope this helps it helped me now we just lay Ada down after story time and prayer and she is out. He is fighting his sleep and afraid that your gone. Books about night time helped also.

God Bless
A.

My two and half year old used to require that I lay down in bed with her and stay there until she was asleep. Then I'd have to sneak out, so so quiety, and make it to my own room.

However, the past two weeks, I've been able to get her to fall asleep without me by "making excuses". I would tell her I had to check on her older sister and I would come right back. Which I did, I would just stand outside her door for 30 seconds to a minute, then then I'd go back in, stay for another 5 minutes or so, then make up a another excuse, leave, come back, stay for a few minutes. What this does is allow the child to practice being by herself for a few minutes and gives her security that you are coming back. Gradually increase the time you are gone and one day you'll come back to his room and find him asleep. It really does work, faster than you think it might. No crying, no fussing, nothing. You need to do this when he is tired, but not completely exhausted.

And if he cries, please go back to him. Crying it out (the Dr. Ferber Method) works with some kids, but not ALL kids. Ferber himself has said this. You know your child well enough by now that you know if he will respond. If he's going to cry so hard he vomits, then I'd definitely consider something else. Cleaning up vomit does NOT promote healthy sleep. I have tried letting my little girl cry it out, she cried for three hours until finally even my old-school-cry-it-out Mother in Law couldn't stand it any longer and picked her up. And then she was "gun-shy" of her bed for weeks. It was awful, and turned out to be a huge setback.) But I've heard that lots of people have great success with this method, so I think I just have unusually persistent kids, LOL.

And it could be he still just needs you. Don't ignore that. He's only little once, I know its frustrating because you want to sleep in your own bed, but its nice that they still want you nearby physically. All too soon, he'll be a big boy and will push you away. Enjoy the cuddles. Be sure you give him extra cuddle time during the day.

A.
I'm going to guess, that since your little boy was a baby, you rocked/held him in your arms till he went to sleep then layed him down. It's a wonderful moment to share with your baby, however, now it's a habit which you want to break and that's not going to be easy. My suggestion - instead of laying there with him, put him in his bed, and kneel next to his bed, and softly rub his back, talking to him, telling him to close his eyes, relax, mommy is right here etc., etc., I defintely, would not lay in his bed with him. He needs to learn that it is his bed, and mommy and daddy have their own bed. I would encourage a soft quiet time to wind down before he goes right to sleep. Also, how about reading short stories to him, after he is all tucked in? Eventually, he will become accustomed to this new routine. From there, as he grows older, he will learn to lay down on his own. He just needs some alone quiet time with either mom or dad which is natural.

Well I have a three year old boy and doesnt sleep in his bed all the time 7 times out of 10 he sleeps on our floor in our room. We got him to sleep in his room of about a week one time, but we had to also lay down with him tell he was asleep. I laid in there one night after everyone was asleep and my son was with my husband in our room. His room was the quitest room i had ever been in. So the next night i put one of my t-shirts on over his pillow, and i put a clock you know an analog clock that ticks in a spot on his bed so he could hear it. That is the week that he sleep in there for a week. Know he wont sleep in his be so i dont know why. We are almost tired of the fights every night, so when the crying and stuff starts we put a pallet on the floor and his pillow and let him sleep on our floor beside us. He love to do that, i figure that when the time is right then he will stop fighting and sleep in there.

I hope any of this helps.

It is nice meeting you.

L. L.

Hi A.,

We have a rottweiler too. Any tips on training? Raven is house trained but the chewing stage and puppy excitement are still hard.

Anyway, to answer your question. Have you ever seen "Supper Nanny" on ABC? We were having the same problem with our youngest. She is very strong willed. Supper Nanny suggests putting the child in their bed and the parent sits on the floor where the child can see you. Do not talk to the child, look down, and do not make eye contact. Stay there until they go to sleep. It will take some time in the beginning. One night I had to sit for over an hour. The next week do the same but sit farther back (closer to the door). The following week do the same. Sit farther back. They will go to sleep faster as they get used to the routine. It worked for us. I could put our daughter to bed and walk out. She sleeps with the door open and the hall light on. That way she can see if she wakes up.

Hope this helps.