We have 3 beautiful children the oldest is 11 almost 12. She has always been a very engaging and interesting little girl. She has had several different passions, she was going to free China, she was obsessed with dogs, she was really into NAtive American Indians. Now all she is interested in is talking on the phone to her friends and nagging us to take her to the MAll to buy expensive clothes. She is going into Jr High next year and wants to be involved with a club at school. She tried out for cheerleading and did not make the team. She has only been dancing one year so she did not try out for the dance team. She has been in Girl Scouts for 6 years but told me the other day she won't have time for it next year. She has a new set of friends who all seem nice but they have a lot more money than our family has and none of them are in GS. Any way we want her to find her passion and are concerned about her having to much free time. She plays the flute and has a gift but never practices. She will play next year at school. What do we do with her. There is not a lot of money and she has 2 other siblings. Right now she is going to take dance this summer and go to some Girl Scout camps and play flute and dance in the fall but she needs direction. Any help will be welcomed.
Sorry, but I have to be quick but I wanted to suggest you tell her if she wants more expensive clothes, then she should get a summer job and save. She could babysit, walk dogs, mow lawns, help an elderly person with chores and so forth. Just a thought. That way, she can have the clothes, and she learns the value of money and how hard it is to make it strech.
Wow! She is one busy child! There's nothing wrong with her trying so many different things. In fact, it's wonderful she wants to do all of them. Don't worry about giving her some kind of direction. She'll decide what her real passion is eventually. She's only 11.
If she's not interetsed in Girl Scouts anymore, that's no big deal. She's trying to fit in with a new group and maybe she's just lost interest. I dropped out after I completed Brownies & never made it GS- just not my thing, I guess.
As far as buying expensive clothes is concerened, I would still let her go shopping with her firends, if she wants, but maybe explain to her the money situation if she doesn't already know it. Someone else mentioned giving her an allowance. If it's possible, I think it's a great idea! I earned an weekly allowance and saved up to buy things I wanted. Plus, it helped my mom out! I dusted, did some laundry, washed dishes and ironed clothes. This way, she would learn the value of a dollar, too.
About having "too much" free time...Please make sure she gets a little time to herself. She's so busy right now & EVERYONE needs some time to just relax & hang out with friends.
Good luck!
hello J.! ok i sounds like she just wants to be cool like her friends. you need to explain to her that you are not rich and there are other kids in the house. do you guys do an alouance? sorry im not sure how its spelled!!! or maybe tell her that if she really wants new clothes all the time then maybe she can help out by helping at a local store or something along those lines. it will help her to understand that money doesnt grow on trees. lol! i see that she is into a lot of thiings at the same time. ok well best of luck to you!
Direction is not something that can be forced. She will find it on her own. She is very young still and it's good to let her explore many different interests.
Welcome to teengae years, and they will be your most trying ones. I'm almost done with this part of parenting (son's sixteen, and daughter's 22) I've been through alot but not some things mothers in my area have. Keep your kids involved in activities, it will occupy their time outside of school, and leave less time to hang out with bad influences you don't want in their lives anyway, trust me. What other kids have, (clothes, possessions, ect..) will always be a factor in the teenage lives, but you have to set your boundaries on how much you can afford, or you'll allow them to push you into giving in all by yourself, and the guilt thing will always be a factor in it. My daughter's friends had longer curfews too, and my favorite line became, "Sorry about your luck, but I'm not Lindsey or Rachesl's mom I'm yours and don't care what they're alllowed to do, this is how I feel, and I'm not budging with it" Whatever rules, boudaries, and punishments you set for your children, stick with them and never give into guilt or changing it or letting it go. You'll thank yourself later, and so will your children, even though you'll have to impose tough love more often then you my like too
Good Luck, I'm not sure I'd have it in myself to relive teenage years for any reason.
It was right about 6th grade year that my sister and I both dropped out of Girl Scouts, or more like our troops split up. All the girls made new friends. The interest change and you want to do things with other friends. Schools are changing, sadly. When I was in middle school, I was always staying after school for one thing or another. I was the volleyball manager and was involved in many school clubs and darama. I know the school I went to does not have as many extracirricular activities now because of budget cuts. Then, many of these clubs didn't cost much and were fun to do.
I would say allow her to get involved in clubs, but say no when it hurts your pocket book. You could have her do things around the house to earn money to go to the mall. If you allow her to babysit, make each hour worth so much, or each load of laundry is worth something. This way she learns the value of money and understands that it takes a lot of work to get everything you want.
Good Luck and have fun!
