How Many Activities Do You Have Your Kids In?

My daughter is 6. We are active Girl Scouts and then one sport per season. She had requested to play soccer in the Spring then she wanted to try softball...I said you have to give up soccer or GS...she chose not to play softball.

I agree with you. The more active they are, the better. Normally, my son is in 2 activities, but this summer, he's only taking swimming. I had him in ice skating and hockey, but it's too difficult for me to get on his skates and equipment due to my hand issues. I take him bike riding every other day if that counts:)

My daughters both take soccer and baseball (baseball is three days/week and soccer is two days/week) and my older daughter is in girl scouts. All told, it's a pretty busy schedule, but keeping them active is pretty important to me.

Hi A.,

Gauge this by -
1) is his homework getting done, room picked up, family time still happens?
2) does he seem 'stressed' about getting to places on time or getting everything done?
3) does he complain about not having "enough" time to play with friends or chill out?
4) Does he have enough time after all that to 'practice' his extra-curriculars if he needs to?

if those are in line, then I think whatever he wants to do is OK - for some families that might be 1 activity. For others that might be 5 or 6.

Tell your mil you appreciate her concern and thank her for caring about your son.
AND THEN DO WHATEVER IS BEST FOR YOUR FAMILY!!!!!!!

I keep it minimal. I think its more important to have valuable relaxed family time and worship time than to teach children extra skills. Learning athletic and musical skills if great, but not at the expense of other priorities. How many families don't have dinner together because of practice, or have stopped attending church because of games? Its makes no sense to me for everyone to be runing around like crazed busy bees at the expense of spiritual needs and family togetherness. Activities are fine so long as they aren't the theme of you life. A better theme I have learned to apply to my life and will teach my children to apply to thier lives is "Be still and know that I am God." Busyness is the opposite of reflection. Reflection is at least as important as learning skills, perhaps more. Make sure you son does both.

My 10 year old son plays flag football in the spring, tackle football in the fall and wrestling in the winter/summer vacation. He has chosen those sports. When he was younger he also tried soccer and baseball but not into those so much and one winter he signed up for a boys gymnastics class rather than sit at the gym and watch his sister in her class. He was also in scouts for a year but he didn't like the pack he was in. When he is in sports/activities, he has better grades (one B, the rest A's), a better attitude, and appreciates the time he has to read, play video games, watch TV, and hang out with his friends.

My daughter is 7 and has a straight A's and last year she did soccer, cheerleading, gymnastics, girl scouts, and student council. This year she has decided to cut out soccer and do additional gymnastics. She also is doing competitive cheer rather than cheering for the youth league.

I have seen jr. high and high school sports evolve over the years and when I was in school, you may have played a sport in a youth league, but it wasn't until jr. high when it got serious. Unfortunately, now, if you don't have natural talent, a child will likely not make the team or not get enough playing time to want to continue. Statics show that kids who are not in sports or some other activity in HS are more likely to get into trouble so the way I look at it, this is an investment in their teenage years to make sure they have a social place that they are a part of. As long as your child isn't burned out and is making acceptable grades, keep doing what you're doing.

DD is starting full day Kinder next month & we are going to have her doing one activity. The last think I want to do is overextend & overschedule her & burn her out. I think it probably depends on the kid, but they need ample down time, free time, family/friend time, just time to be a kid.

No regular activities for either of mine. We play together in our own yard.

my kids are in dance , that's it, My son takes tap, my daughter takes tap one day a week. Watch how much you get him in, because he will end up like my sister and at 22 she is always HAVING to be somewhere, she is stretched WAY to thin. And that's how she started. Multiple days a week activities, gone every weekend.

That doesn't sound like too much.
My daughter has girl scouts every other Monday, piano lessons on Tuesday, church classes on Wednesday, gymnastics on Friday. She wants to play volleyball which will practice once during the week and games on Saturday; we told her she had to give up gymnastics to do it.

We have a policy of 1 activity per season per child. My oldest plays fall & spring baseball. He will be doing beginning band this school year also. that is plenty. If he wants to do basketball this winter, we will let him do that. With the activities & school work - more than that is too much and doesn't leave any time for just plain fun. Now - my youngest - hasn't decided what he wants to do :)

1 or 2 activities at a time, depending on how often they meet/practice. My oldest does baseball in the summer, 1-3 times a week, 4-H but he doesn't do many of the meetings, just the projects for the fair he's taken guitar lessons once a week while doing these other things and youth group once a week as well. Currently since baseball is over he's doing football. Schedule comes home today, so then I will know how often that it. 10 year old does scouts weekly during school, youth group weekly during school, and generally a summer activity, he's not athletically inclined, and we have tried EVERYTHING available. my 8 year old DD does gymnastics she just moved to pre-team so she will be practicing a lot more now, youth group weekly, and she wants to try girl scouts again. It's a lot for me, but not for any of the kids and we still have a couple days a week when we are all home together.

We do one activity at a time, as well. I don't think that's too much. I think sitting thier little behinds in front of the playstation or tv for hours at a time is a much bigger danger. We all enjoy going to the games as a family and he is so proud of himself. I think it's treaching a lot of good life lessons and building his confidence, as well as keeping him fit. If he ever said he didn't want to do it, we would take a break. There are seasons for rest and seasons for work and we get that. But, so far, he looks forward to the next activity and can't wait to see his friends and his coach again.

It doesn't sound like you are pushing him at all, rather, you are encouraging him and letting him make the choice.

I like to try to keep it at O. activity per season. But we might make an exception with Fall Baseball & golf lessons this year....

That doesnt sound like too much to me. It is only one sport at a time...Like the other posts already stated as long as he is doing well in school, and enjoys it, then let him...my DD's only do one activity at a time, right now my youngest does gymnastics and my older does swim lessons.

We try to stick to one activity per child per season. But then again, I have 3 girls, and I"m a cheer coach. I just cant do more. One time I let my then 7yr old cheer and play soccer. It was so bad, we were running around with our heads cut off. So during football season, we cheer.2 days week practice, the Sat games. On off season, we do tumbling, sometime 2 days a week and sometimes 1 day a week. Depends on the amount of homework. Now my youngest is asking for ballet and cheer, I might try to swing it and see how it works, now that I have a 16yr that drives.

I agree with the logic of A.. Makes alot of sense.

My daughter just turned 5 and will be starting Kindergarten in the fall. She did ballet one day per week at her preschool through the spring and now she does gymnastics on Saturday mornings. She only does one activity at a time. We just don't have the time or money to do more than that right now. As long as you can afford the activities, your child is doing well in school, wants to do the activities and it's not disrupting the rest of the family's time then I say let them do it. I'd much rather have my child out being active instead of on the couch watching tv.

I only have one daughter so that made life a lot easier...she was always in two activities from about four years old. It got very time consuming when she was 12 in rec softball and competitive travel ball (it was 6-7 days per week and very competitive). She just graduated high school and is pretty bored with her nearly full time job and volunteering with a children's organization. She is used to being very busy. College doesn't start until the third week in September.

Sounds like you're doing one sport at a time, so what's the problem? That's a great way to do it! Now if you'd said he was doing all of those at once, then yes, that's a problem! : )

I don't believe children should be involved in so many things that they don't have down time. Children need to have time to play, to be alone, to be silent and introspective. They need to be children.

My son has piano lessons. My daughter has Girl Scouts. Oh, and now my son has a club he has formed - an environmental group of children aged 9 - 13 who meet twice a month and do things like pick up litter, plant trees, and collect recyclables. Since he formed the club himself, and it's good for him on so many levels, I don't have a problem with him doing that as well as piano.

We are a Waldorf School family, so we don't do organized sports until age 12. Also, as part of their Waldorf curriculum, my children learn music (singing, as well as flute and violin), art, handwork (knitting, sewing, crocheting, etc.) and woodworking at school. Playing outdoors is also a big part of the Waldorf philosophy, so they are playing outside at least three times during the school day. With all of that, they really don't need a lot of extracurricular activities.

By the way, playing outside has been found to be very beneficial for children with ADD/ADHD. Studies show that children with ADD/ADHD, after playing outside in a green space for half an hour, are able to focus and sit still through lessons for a longer period than those children who did not get to be with nature. And obviously, it's not only children with ADD that benefit from playing in green spaces. It's all children. So (though I personally believe it would be better if it were free play and not an organized sport) you son is definitely better off being outside and being active.

Tell MIL thanks for your concern, but my son is doing great!

I allow my kids 1 sport/activity per year plus 1 instrument. That's really all I can stand at any given time and even that seems like too much when my daughter has a band recital with extra practices & dance practice while I'm running my son around to baseball practices &/or games 4-6 nights a week. I know it's not always busy like that all year long, but they've got school with a lot of homework, extra projects, etc. as well as needing time to just be kids.

our rule of thumb is: one sport per season. (for example: in the summer, we have 3-on-3 basketball and baseball available.)

That said, it's the other activities that can pile up! Our older son did Scouts (until age 12), religion school (until age 11), & baseball in the summer. In H.S., he did the Medieval Club & that was it.

Our younger son, on the other hand, thrives on activities. He played one sport each season, Scouts, & religion school thru grade school. Jr High, he blossomed into the Activities King: in addition to Scouts & religion school, he was in Band, on the Track/Field team, & attended afterschool clubs 4 out of 5 days. Oh, & was on the Safety Patrol too!

We are hitting H.S this fall. At this point, he's in the Band, Scouts, & religion school flips over to a Teen Group. He has not chosen any other activities, but thoroughly enjoyed TOP (a teen outreach program which provided service hours to the community) & Quiz Bowl last year. We'll see what the fall brings! .....Oh, & he wants to do the Track Team..... busy times ahead!

Our DS isn't in anything right now but will probably do something in the fall. So far we've only done one activity at a time and will probably keep it that way. Is he doing anything else besides the sport (and school in the fall)? From what you described, it sounds about right to me.
We approach it the same way, ask and if he wants to do it, we sign him up. We also tell him that if he signs up he has to see the season through but if he doesn't want to continue afterwards that's his choice.

Every kid and every family is different in what they can handle and what is "too much" - I don't think a child playing one sport at a time, 3 to 4 times a week, is too much at all. I agree with you in that they should at least be doing SOMETHING so they get the exercise and have some fun and are not just being bumps on a log. I know families with multiple kids in multiple activities at a time and it can get crazy, but again, it's all about what works best for everyone, and finding that balance between too much and not enough.

Honestly, it seems silly to me that your MIL would blame signing her son up for "too much stuff" as a youngster as the reason for him quitting football as a senior. How much would your husband's life be different now if he still played football in HS vs. quitting? Unless he was going to play in college or go on to play in the NFL, so what? Who knows - he could have kept on playing and ended up with a concussion or worse. Not saying that that should keep anyone from playing football or any sport, just saying that your husband deciding to give it up when he did is not the end of the world. I wouldn't worry at all about what your MIL thinks - because it sounds to me like you are doing just fine.

Year Round:
- Gymnastics 2x
- Aikido 3x
- Swimming 1x
- Basketball 3x
- Music 1x
- Chess 1x
- Art/ Art History 1x
- Drama 1x
(We keep trying to fit in boyscouts, but it's on a bad day for us)

Seasonal
- Soccer (or Dance)
- Snowboarding
- Baseball
- Swimming

Camps
- Drama (6x per year)
- Snowboarding (1-2x per year)
- Gymnastics (2-3x per year)
- Videogame Design/Programming (1x per year)
- Kids in Medicine (1x per year)

We also do a lot of "one offs", which are more in the realm of seminars or extended field trips. Like backstage tours, observatory classes (made a refracting telescope at one, did some deep space viewing at another, etc.), chocolate making, etc.

It should be noted that

a) We homeschool, so we just have a lot more TIME than most people

(except in winter, where our schedule gets very focused on snow time... 8-10 hours a day snowboarding 4-5 days a week... this "list" of activities takes up apx 4 hours a day for us. On average, kiddo has an AM activity and a PM activity.)

b) We homeschool, so I'm purposefully seeking out activities where he's being instructed by adults other than myself both for his benefit and mine

c) My son's ADHD-c, so requires a lot more physical activity than most people

d) My son's a raging extrovert

e) My son's still quite young (9), so the time spent on these activities is still fairly short. An hour or two a day per activity, versus a highschool sport which is 6 hours a day 5 days a week.

My daughter, who is 8, takes Karate and a foreign language lessons.
My son, is 4 almost 5, and does not take any formal classes, yet.
He is not my daughter and has his own timeline for things.
He has told us, he is not ready, to take Karate yet,(which lessons start at 5 years old), although he is interested.

My daughter, was always keen on taking other things. Outside of school.
My kids both have different personalities, although both are very good socially and mature.

We go by the interests of our kids and who they are.
Not what 'we' want them to be, or take.

For us, school/homework, is essential and a top totem-pole priority.
And getting enough sleep/rest.

As they get older, they will be on other extra curricular activities... knowing them, they will. But it will always be according to THEIR interests... and ability to manage, it all.
In tandem with their school responsibilities.
In school there are many on campus activities too.

I also home school my kids.... no matter what.
So that is another 'thing' they do.
My kids are active and self-entertaining. And they are rarely bored.
We do a lot of socializing too.

My daughter (age 9) has karate 2x/week, and once a week swimming lesson, piano lesson, and theater class. It helps that she's an only child and her dad is retired so has a flexible schedule. But school is done at 3:40, so I don't think having an activity several days of the week after school and one or two things on the weekend is too much. All of these things are her choice. If her schoolwork or our family life starts suffering, then we will cut back.