Help with a 6 Month Old Who Wants Constant Attention!

If it makes you feel any better, I feel fortunate if my 8 month old will entertain by himself for 15 minutes--which usually happens once in the morning after his first meal...this is when I "try" to take a shower (no worries, he's safe in the playpen nearby). I'm a SAHM (& 1st time mom) so my day consists of playing with him and keeping him fed, clean, safe, happy, and entertained. I don't have a lot of experience with other babies but from what you have said and from what I have observed with my own baby, it sounds like normal baby behavior to me. In fact, he's in here with me right now as I type this because he wants to see what I'm doing.

Can she sit up yet? She should be able to entertain herself if so. I used to put my sons in the playpen with all of their toys and that would keep them occupied while I did what I needed to do. Toys with music help as well.

Also, find an online music station that play nothing but kid songs. That helps too!

We also had a video tape called Baby Praise that was of babies playing put to music. My 2nd son just LOVED it!

You are doing fine. There may be times when you will have to let her cry it does build up the lung capacity and she will be fine. Some times a child will cry for attention and you can check on her and get to know what her cries are about as they DO sound different. Try to schedule a routine where you guys do the same thing every day at the same time even on weekends. Some things that you want to do will have to be put on hold as you do have a child and she does need you. Remember it is not about me?I and it about us/we. Don't try to do everything at once as it will not work. Do laundry and clean the house so it looks nice. When she gets older you can clean it really good. Just make sure that when she is on the floor crawling around that you do keep it spotless. At one time you could eat off my floors - don't try it now. She needs to have the hard floor to strengthen her muscles for crawling and then walking. At 6 months she may be cutting a tooth and that will make her cranky.

I remember day care and my son. We had a routine where he was fed at home and played with and in bed by 8pm every night. That gave me time to pick up the house (he read the newspaper every morning) put paper back together and do a load of laundry. Then it was off to bed for us at about 10 to 11 pm. I was up at 5 every morning. This gave me an hour to get ready without him and then get him up at 6 to be ready to leave for day care by 730 and me to work at 8. Write if you need any more ideas. My son is now 34 and I have not had any "emotional" problems from this.

A lot of your advice is from newer moms. My son discovered who mom was about this time and when he couldn't see me in his walker he would cry. I would put him in a area where he could see me and be safe and he was happy. In the olden days we didn't have the luxury that some have today and we had to make things work. Always love your baby and let them know that they are safe. You can't always come running for everything but you do try. Make sure you do have your "me" time even if it is a bath without anybody so that you can be a good mom.

Here's a good one, my baby was 2 weeks old and I had her in her crib and she was very fussy and I was trying to do my hair in the bathroom. I went and picked her up and she stopped crying. I put her down and she started up again. Well, we went into the bathroom where I was going to do my hair and I "stuffed" her in the laundry basket full of clothes for the next laundry propped her so she could see me and she was perfectly happy to be there because she sensed where mom was. I got my hair done, had a picture of her in the laundry basked for her baby book and we all came out of it nice and healthy. As for the clothes they would be items she would come in contact with in the house and she could be introduced to the germs that would be in the house from mom, dad and big brother. She is how 31 happy and healthy and she was breastfed.

Do you really want to "break" your child of wanting to be with you? A childs infancy is when you set the foundation for all the years to come. The experts say that the first three years are the most important for your child's developement. These years set the tone for how your child will interact with and handle their world FOR THE REST OF THEIR LIVES. Given that why would anyone short-change their child just so they don't have to hold the child or listen to them cry? Your child NEEDS you and your husband and you will all be the better for it if you invest your time in her now. I'm sorry to vent on you L., I'm just so tired of all the mothers on this site that complain about the needs of their babies. What did you think you would get when you had a BABY? Some babies cry a lot and some don't sleep well. The mommies and daddies have to deal with it and hopfully they will both understand that it is an investment and gift to do so. I know first hand that it is difficult, sometimes the most difficult thing you've ever done and I also know the great reward of investing the time in nurturing your child. My daughter was the kind of baby that hardly slept, wanted me constantly the first year of her life. Maybe it was because it took me three years to conceive her, but when I realized that I didn't have the easy baby I thought every baby was I totally gave myself to who she was and accepted that it was better for both of us if I learned to just deal with it. My teenager is such a great kid, who has never been a problem, I can't help but think the time I gave her when she was little had something to do with it. I know it's hard now but trust me it is a flash of time before they are driving and looking at moving off to college. Buy a sling and wear your baby. It won't be long before she won't sit still for that. Soak it up while you can!

Great advice from the other moms, here are a few more ideas and tips.

First, my daughter was very clingy and shy all through her first year and a half. When she was with us, she wanted every instant of our attention. My husband was miserable in his job so he decided to try staying at home with her for a while. In a month or so this charming, friendly child started showing up. It's like she got her parental attention needs fulfilled and she was fine. We put her back in daycare after a while and she's still OK. I'm not saying that one of you should stay home with your kids. I'm saying that you're being home for the summer with her might just do the trick.

Second: Use her high chair as a play table as well as an eating space. Sit her in it when you're working in the kitchen and give her a bowl and spoon or a couple of blocks to bang around. Then you can talk to her while you cook or do whatever you need to do and she can 'help'.

Third: A word of advice from my grandmother. "You can't spoil them with love." Everytime I start to think I'm spoiling my kids (especially when they're infants), I here my Nani's voice reminding me of that.

Finally, your baby girl is perfect. "She's doing just what a 6-month old should be doing." That's something that you can say to yourself no matter what age she is. I can't tell you how many times I repeated that to myself when my girl hit her independant stage at 2 and now at 4 almost 5 when she's running around with unquenchable energy.

Good luck, it sounds like you're doing just fine.

If you have her in daycare you only get to be with her in the evenings.....that's not much time, what maybe 3 hours until her bedtime?! She just wants to be with you, to have you hold her, feel your touch. I would wonder if she's getting much or any time with physical contact in daycare, other than feeding and changing.....I'm sorry but it just sounds so sad that you don't have "time" to hold your baby! They grow up so fast, believe me. I'm going through this right now with my 6-month old grand daughter whose mother is my daughter.....she has so many "things to do" when she gets home from work......and I'll tell you what I tell her - I keep insisting - your most important thing to do is spend time with your baby - she will only be this age right now! Time goes fast and you shouldn't put off loving on her for another time - she cries because she wants your attention and love - she can't say "hug me or hold me" or ask if you love her!? Dishes, housework, etc. will wait but babies are only this age once! Don't deny either of you that special time.

Try a baby carrier or sling. My daughter was exactly the same and I carried her for almost a year. There are tons of resources (even a few that aren't trying to sell you something) about "babywearing" to help you pick the right one, but any will do.
Infants do really need constant attention, as they are unable to do anything for themselves. It will take a while for her to grow out of this and it is perfectly natural.
I also would recommends looking into some parenting books so you kind of know what to expect at each age and stage. There are millions out there.

Don't worry about holding her too much at 6 months. She's too young to be manipulating you, and still needs the reassurance that you will be there for her. My son is 6 months, and I have the same thing. It just means that I don't get as much done as I would like. Our dinners are definitely lacking right now, and it seems as if the laundry is always wrinkled. But, I figure this is a very short time in the grand scheme of things, and I want him to be a confident, well adjusted kid who knows he can count on mom and dad. I have friends who have used one of those carriers to carry their babies because they did not want to be put down. You might try that. Good luck! J.

ok you seem like a bright person....here ya go.
YOU AND YOUR HUSBAND are her number one things to play with. the fact that you think she should play by herself at the age of 6 months has me worried. She will not play by herself for quite a long time and even then she will run to you every few minutes for something, and you can call yourself lucky if she invites you to play with her. Let me give you some advise that a very smart lady told me. when your child wants your attention...instead of saying hold on honey i will be right there. drop everything you are doing and give her 15 minutes of your absolute attention. the dishes and laundry can wait until your child is asleep. she wants to be held...sing to her...dance with her...help her sit up...read to her. you will be amazed at how fast 15 minutes goes by and then you really will not want to go back to your previous chore.
just chill out....i mean really chill out and take time for your lil lady :) enjoy your day

There have already been some great responses. I don't know that I'll have anything new to tell you. Some of it is a phase. Some may be her tempermant. I have six kids. Some have required more attention. Number 1 and number 5 were both very demanding babies. They wanted to be held all the time. They just seemed to need that constant attention and reassuring. A babysling (or a wrap)was the best thing I ever got. The baby got what he/she needed (MOM) and I got done what I needed to get done. Don't worry about breaking her of any habit. This, too, shall pass. You may find yourself looking back longingly at the days when she actually wanted just you.

Welcome to the world of parenting! Your expectations are too high for a 6 month old. At that age, babies have very short attention spans and really aren't capable of entertaining themselves for very long. Her reaction is normal. It's tough, I know . . . I've gone through it 3 times! But as they get older they are more capable of entertaining themselves for longer periods of time. I have a 16 month old and I can tell you that she required much more personal attention a 6 months than she does now. Which is not to say she doesn't require supervision, but now I can clean up after dinner while she sits in the living room and plays with toys or "reads" books, etc.

She is also becoming more aware of the main people in her lives -- mommy and daddy -- and misses you when you aren't around, so when she does have you she wants your attention. Again, this is normal, and you aren't going to spoil her by spending time with her.

Relax and enjoy -- these times don't last long and you may regret that you're forcing her to "grow up" before she's ready!

Hi L., try the boppy seat to help her sit up and be "involved" with what you're doing. At this age, they can't really keep themselves occupied so they need that interaction, and of course they love to be held. I have the Ergo baby carrier (a LIFESAVER!) which carries front, back or side - I often piggyback my 13 month old cause he just loves to be close (and he's 30 lbs!). They just feel more secure with their mommy/daddy - take turns. I think the more connected they are when they're little, the more independent they are when they're older. My little guy's been with me all the time, and he can stay with the babysitter while I work for anywhere from 20min-1hour depending on how involved he is in what's going on (shorter when he's teething, etc.). you're doing fine. They need constant attention. Love the little one up all over, and it'll work out.

My second son has been this way since he was born and now he's 13 months. He wants to be with me or see me ALL the time. I've been lucky enough to stay home with both my boys and so at first I was frustrated because my first son could 'entertain' himself for a while when he was about 6 months. I expected my second son to behave the same way but he just needs me. Even now if I put him in his highchair and open the fridge (so he can't see me) he will scream.

I've found 2 things help: If it's something I HAVE to do by myself-like play on the computer :) then I have to do it while he's still asleep. Otherwise I just have to carry him from room to room (now we are slowly walking together) and he 'helps'. I did use a sling but as he got older he was just too wiggly. I also do have a back-pack and sometimes I put him in there if I need to do something quickly.

The only thing that works is that he has to be with me and wants to 'help'. So I spend a lot of time doing things on the floor and it takes twice as long to get things done (like re-folding laundry after he messes it back up again) but I love to see him try to help me do things he's seen now (he tries to sweep or uses a towel to wipe the floor while we're cleaning). I even give him a bowl and spoon while I make dinner to keep him happy.

Bottom line is that it might just be her personality and she may really need you. Once you're home with her more maybe you'll have more time during your day to work on chores together. Good luck and congrats on being able to stay home - it's the best thing in the world.

You got some great advice from other moms, but I want to throw in one additional thing. I worked full time with my first and have had the pleasure of being home full time for my 2nd. Of course each child has a different personality but it is also very different when you are with them all day versus just before and after work. So I guess what I'm saying is don't stress too much about what she's doing now. Wait and see what happens when you are home all day with her. She will get more of you and things will be different!

My son is almost 8 months and is the same way. I even stay home with him all day long and he is my third. There are times when I HAVE to put him down and he cries while with his toys but some things do have to get done. I pick him up as soon as I am done but with three kids I can't hold him all day long. It's just his personality as my oldest did very well at entertaining herself and my second was okay but was still needy. I don't have much advice for you but wanted to let you know that you're not alone and you're not a bad mommy for leaving him/her alone for a litte bit. I don't leave my son more than 10 minutes or so though. We do the rotations :) Exercisor, high chair with snacks, floor with toys, baby type on computer, etc. She'll outgrown it and hang in there until it happens!! Maybe it will get better when you stay at home and have more time to do errands around the house while she is sleeping. What you could do is take turns playing with her. Say while you do the dishes, your husband play with her and then while he takes out the garbage, you play with her.

L.,

I see a lot of rude responses from some people on here. Don't let them make you feel guilty for working or having things to do. You sound like a good mom - yes, this is a stage and whether you carry her around with you 24/7 or you let her sit and play for a little bit - you aren't hurting her. She'll be fine, regardless of what you do.

If there are things that you can do with her near you - then great. I have 11 month triplets and a 6 year old and when there are things that have to be done (gasp, I know - horrible), I try to do them on the floor with them (like folding or sorting laundry, making grocery lists, etc.) and then anything that takes longer than 10 mins or so, I try to wait until they are asleep (but I'm also still EBF'ing so my nights are full of making bottles, sterilizing pump parts, etc. - so that time is limited). For things like dinner - where it might take a little longer, try letting her watch Baby Mozart (gasp again, I'm sure this will make my children corrupt - but my 6 year old is very ahead of her Kindergarten requirements and doing very well in every aspect of her life) - this will give you 26 mins to cook and her not crying for you. In my opinion everyone wins. I would reserve this to once/day b/c I do recognize that TV is not a babysitter.

Hopefully you weren't too offended by all the judgemental comments that some of these women gave you. Congrats on your daughter and getting to be a SAHM.

T.

Yes, it is a stage. Also, though, it will help when you are at home full time. You'll develop your routine, and she'll get used to there being times for her to have your total attention, and times when she plays independently. Not that this is always easy, and there will be days where she just doesn't feel right and wants you all day long. But the more routine you establish, the better. Of course, making supper and phone calls are just difficult times for moms. Kids do know that these are times when they CAN'T have your undivided attention, and this just makes them want it more, just like we all are in life about some things.

Also, six months is a great age to let them start having "pots-n-pans preschool." Give her some containers to stack or pots and a wooden spoon to bang on them. THen she can feel like she's with you in the kitchen.

Hi L.. My little girl, 7 months, is the same way. Some days it is tough, when I need to get dinner ready or pay bills, etc. I put her near me on the floor and talk to her but she just keeps "umm"ing and "ah-ah-ah" ing. If I leave her be it will escalate into a full-out squelching scram, so I know now to get to her before she becomes inconsolable. To help her, I do a variety of things: 1) I have a lot of baby toys that I will give her, one by one, to get her attention. 2) I go ahead and pick her up off and on and snuggle for 30 sec to 1 minute. 3) I move her location around: the kitchen, the living room, the high chair, etc. 4)Sometimes I just put her in her crib and let her cry. It's a last option but at times I need to do what I need to do and I need her to be safe too. 5) sometimes I put her in the backpack on my back. This little girl is my 4th baby, and probably my last, so I am realizing that she is just a baby and just wanting to feel loved and cuddled. She isn't doing anything bad or wrong, so even though I may be having a frustrating day I try not to be frustrated with her (some days it's hard!) Try to enjoy them when they're babies. I know you hear it but soon they will be grown and you'll miss it!

I think it's probably normal, she is probably desperate for some one on one. My daughter was like that at that age (and I stayed at home with her giving her attention all day long!). She has become more independant now (starting at 11 months). I really don't think you can give her too much attention. My advise is get what you have to do done, leave the rest until her nap time or bed time and treasure the moments she wants you- it won't be too long until the last thing our kids want is us around all the time.

Hi! That's a hard one ... I try to use my son's natural "play cycle" to my advantage as much as possible. By this I mean, there are times of the day when he is just more likely to play for longer periods of time by himself (for example, in the morning after breakfast). Going with her 15 minute cycle is also an example ... so, if she can play by herself for 15 minutes, then gets fussy, I might try to extend that to 20 minutes by singing / acting silly while you are cooking, etc., and then go to her for a while. After you've held her, etc. for a while, try again. Its tough to do cooking / cleaning in 15 min. intervals, but it can be done, and she'll get somewhat better (though don't expect huge stretches of time at her age). Slings are nice, but may not be safe for all cooking / cleaning activities. It may be partly a "stage" issue, especially if she's not sitting up independently yet ... that brings on frustration.

Good luck!

L., this may not be the answer you were looking for because it sounds like you don't want to have to hold her, but you could try "babywearing." It's basically where you wear your baby in a sling or pouch or the baby bjourn, or any type of carrier. The babies are much happier being worn more often and feel involved in what you're doing. Then, when she falls asleep, you can simply slide the carrier off you and slip her into bed, or keep wearing her if you're not already tuckered out. I have personally tried babywearing and found that my baby LOVES it. I can only carry him so often though as it gets heavy, but what I can do, he loves and is a much happier baby. Again, you don't have to do this, but maybe you could ask someone you know has a baby carrier and at least try it. You might really enjoy that extra bonding time and then when she is down, she'll be okay to play on her own. Let me know if you have any questions. I have a great book on babywearing that was lent to me and you can even make your own carrier super cheap! Good luck!

Dear L.,
As a Infant/toddler specialist professional for the past 20+ years, I have learned, through experience and education, that around 6 months of age a child should be learning to entertain themselves for short periods of time. It is a developmental stage. At 6 months they are learning "cause & effect". Meaning that they realize that if they cry, laugh etc...they will get a reaction from someone. If they do not learn the important skill of entertaining themselves they will have a difficult time when it is time for them to begin to learn independence (around the age of 2)
It is important to (gently) help to teach your child to entertain herself at this age. If you are certain that she has no needs (hungry, diaper etc...) she can be left alone with toys as you do errands around the house or make a phone call. You can call to her and say things like "I'm right here" or "I'm coming soon" to let her know you are nearby. By leaving her alone, she will figure out how to entertain herself and be happy to do so. I would not leave her alone for more than 30 minutes. I would increase the time as she gets older. She should get through this within the next month.
It sounds at though you are already doing a great job! You are giving her the necessary attention she needs to develop in all areas. Yes, there are times when she will cry to gain your attention. She needs to learn that there are times when she cannot have your undivided attention. However at her age she has a very short attention span. If she cries for too long she will forget what she is crying about then it is no longer doing her any good by ignoring her.
Continue showering her w/love and attention intertwined with occasional times (during her "best") times of the day of "alone" time.
I promise, you will get through this!
D.

Perhaps she is bored and restless. At 6 months she should be spending a lot of time playing on the floor. She should be rolling and scooting and getting ready to crawl. And no, she won't stay on the quilt for very long--get used to it. Keep your floor as clean as possible and make sure there are no small particles that her sharp eyes and tiny fingers can pick up and transfer to the mouth! I know you are horrified, as a first time mother, about putting your precious baby on the FLOOR--we all were---but you'll have to get over it to have a healthy baby. And guess what else? In another 6 months she should be walking!!! They grow up way too fast!

This advice is from a great grandma.

PS Just read some of the other great responses. Different things work for different folks, but there is one I must take issue with. NEVER, NEVER, NEVER take your child into the kitchen while you are cooking or cleaning. ONE--You are busy and distracted and their little hands are so fast and stretchie that before you know it someone gets hurt. TWO---They need to learn that the kitchen is off limits at an early age. You won't need to talk to very many mothers to hear horror stories about children injured in the kitchen. So put her near the kitchen so she can she and hear you, but please, never put her in a sling or hold her in your arms while you are cooking. And when she starts crawling, you certainly don't want her underfoot. Think about it.

Ummm...not to beat a dead horse, BUT I am confused by your expectations of a six month old baby. She is not trying to get your attention, she NEEDS your attention. My one year old still needs my attention when he is awake. I try to get most of my cleaning or other matters done while he is sleeping. Do I get everything done...no. Do I completely enjoy the time that I am with him...yes. Before you know it, your daughter will be a toddler and you will never get this time back. It goes by extremely fast! Relax and enjoy her every chance you get.

Please try wearing your baby in a front carrier or sling while you clean and cook. Your child craves your attention and is trying to tell you that she needs closeness to you. You are not with her all day, she needs that time of physical contact with you to develop her sense of self...and eventually the sense of self assuredness that will allow her to become independent. She is an infant who can only tell you that she NEEDS you one way, and that is to cry... Do not push her away at 6 months old, before you know it she will not want to have you hold her. Take advantage of this time now to bond with your child... A clean house can wait!!!!

Agreeing with all the other mommies....invest in a good sling/carrier where you can wear her close to you. My 11 month old daughter still has days where she just needs to be in my arms all day long, so I put her in the Baby Bjorn and walk around the house doing whatever I needed to do and we're both happy! Cherish the time with your little one, she's just wanting more time with you and your husband. Before you know it, she'll be mobile and won't need you so much :(

Congrats on becoming a stay-at-home mommy....it's the greatest!!

Thank you Teryn! I agree with you exactly. You have to have time to take a shower, cook dinner, clean what has to get clean, and...for goodness sake...be able to go to the bathroom without having to hold your child. There are things that MUST get done.

L., it is definately a stage she will get better as she gets older. They just have short attention spans. But for some suggestions to help: Baby Einstein videos are life saving! And I have a carrier that coverts from a front holding pack to a back holding pack and it's AWESOME. I'm right there with you girl, and this is my second time around.

L. stop whatever ur doing n jusy play w/ ur baby it'll take 15 min tops n everyone will be better off (u to)my son is 9 mon n for a while he was just real moody always fussy whining I didn't know what was wrong I talked to a friend she said stop love him I did n he is back to his old happy self I just got to busy w stuff I thought I had to do right now I know we think the laundry or kitchen or bills can't wait but unless u wanta fussy baby all night share the love;). R.

I guess I'm on the other side of the camp here :) I'm a big believer in attachment parenting (visit http://www.askdrsears.com/html/10/t130100.asp) and believe that your daughter's desire for you is both natural and good. She learns EVERYTHING from you, wants to see what you're doing and be involved, yes, in everything! :)

Make sure you're tracking with her development stage and remember that her cries can often be out of frustration. I wouldn't want to sit still for that long either! Occupy her with age-appropriate objects (like noisy metal measuring cups). She sees a great world she wants to explore but can't because she isn't mobile yet. That has got to be frustrating!

Being a mom can be very taxing (who am I kidding, IS very taxing) on your energy, your time, just plain everything. But, as they get older, they develop more independence - it's just a thing of supporting and nurturing her until then. During the meantime, what really worked for me was to wear my daughter in a Baby Wrap (The Moby Wrap is great). When you wear your child, they are close to you, can see what's going on in your world and are very secure.
Hope that helps! If you want to talk about it more, please send me a message and we can chat :)

sometimes they just have to cry. if she has her own room, put her in there with some toys, dont shut the door, use a baby gate, my husband made that mistake and it took me five min to get in the room b/c he was sitting against it. i was not laughing...just make sure she can't hurt herself on anything i.e. door stoppers that fit in their mouth, again, my husband...and leave her in there. i usually walk away when my son isn't looking at me b/c it makes it worse. this has worked for me when i need to do dishes or clean. now that my son is crawling and trying to walk, i have blocked off everywhere that he is not allowed to go and let him have free rome. he loves it. i check on him every so often if i don't see him and he just plays by himself. turning on music or the discovery channel works too.

Hi L.
I'm a grandmother of eleven an my daugter in law is a director of a daycare. You mentioned she won't let you put her down for long .Or even be in the same room with her without her crying.I wonder if the daycare providers are holding her alot an giving into her. You might ask them if this happens at the daycare! I say this because my youngest Grandson was the same way an they did anything he wanted and the they wondered why he needed so much attention then an now he is 5 yrs old.But when I have him he was always good .My son says I give him anything thing wants,an that is not the case .I don't believe in it an my kids an other G-kids were made to mind just like him. Good Luck an hope this helps.
M. H.

Maybe you can talk to her daycare provider to find out what her daily routine is during the week. Following this routine on weekends and when you stay home with her should help you and her. I know the daycare provider doesn't have time to hold her all day. Once you figure out her routine and when she's used to being put down, what position they lay her in, and what entertainment they give her you will have an easier time getting your things done by doing them in the time frame she's used to. You can slowly change the routine to fit into your ideal schedule.

Of course she wants your attention!! She's only 6 months old. Put her in her high chair and bring her in the kitchen with you. Talk to her, narrate what you're doing while you're doing it. Put her in a baby carrier or sling. This way you can do what you need to do and she has the physical contact that she's craving. I am a firm believer that babies are meant to be spoiled and should be. May I also suggest the book "what to expect the first year" it's awesome and has some great trouble shooting and reviews what to expect for development. Stop ignoring your child and start paying attention to her!

I don't want to be rude, but your message sounded so mean. I'm just not sure what you NEED to be doing for 30 minutes while your baby is crying alone. It seems so unkind. She's a baby. They ARE a lot of work. That's why we're all tired and overwhelmed at times. But they're babies. And you chose to have and keep one. So it's going to be time-consuming.
I'm sorry for my bluntness, but I'm just confused as to why you are confused. I just don't understand why you think a baby who is left without her parents all day wouldn't want to spend every moment being held by them when she finally does get to see them. It just seems so sad to me.
She's a person, not a pet that you "train" to sleep alone and play alone and eat alone. Parenting is way more hands on than that. Way, way more hands on. I'm sorry for the baby that all of that hands on time bothers you.
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My response was rude. I was upset and I was rude. I know that you do not think your child is a pet. I know that you care about your child.
I really wanted to be blunt in my comment so that you would understand how "mean" your message sounded. I was upset that you let her cry for 30 minutes without intervening. My kids have ALL cried for no reason other than wanting attention. And it is annoying. But that's just the way that most of our kids are. I've had one almost perfectly easy baby. The rest are like yours! I have let them cry for a bit so that I could shower, use the restroom, cook, clean, pay a bill, make an important phone call, etc. But I've never let it last for 30 minutes, especially when my husband was home. Do a chore for a few minutes, play with her for a few minutes, do more of that chore, then back to play, and so on. That's what I do.
When I had my third, if I was making dinner from scratch instead of a just reheating a freezer meal I had made earlier, I had to start cooking in the morning! I would do it in stages when the baby is sleeping and the other kids are playing alone well because it's just TOO hard sometimes. TOO HARD. It's not your baby. It's MOST babies. Kids are so so so so so hard. That's why moms look so tired! We are tired!
I should not have been rude on a public forum. I should have emailed you privately to explain my concerns with your comment. It was rude on my part and I apologize. It was wrong. I get very bent out of shape about kiddos and it got the better of me. Shame on me.
Good luck. It's hard. This stage is hard for that reason and the next is hard for another. But try your hardest to make jokes out of it or write how "annoying" she is in her journal to show her when she has her own annoying baby! That makes me feel better!
Again, I apologize.

HI L.,
If you read what to expect the 1st year, you can see the appropriate age for playing by herself. It's not at 6 months! Right now she is learning who to trust, how to communicate her needs, how mommy and daddy respond. I have a great aunt who got on me so much for picking up my crying child, for just sitting and holding him for the saking of holding him, etc. She was old school, but I believe in showing my children as early as possible that we are there for them for their needs. So I held them when they sought it, I played with them as long as they wanted my attention and I didn't do the cry-it-out "thing". My boys are now very independent, mature and play with each other and by themselves. So relax a bit. When she is 1 and older, there are games and other toys specifically designed to teach kids how to entertain themselves.

Hi there, I think most mom's feel this way at times....but one thing you have to put in perspective is she is growing and learning to become independent and children are very dependent before they learn independence. It sounds like you are giving her lots of love and attention, that is so good for your little one as she learns to trust you and her environment and learn about this big world around her. She is needing you and as long as you are always reassuring her you are there for her. When you have to cook or clean, just let her know that Mommy has chores to do, maybe you can try to give her something to do to. She will have a short attention span, so expect to change it up ofter, but keep talking to her and give her a kiss or hug and say, "Mommy has chores to do, once I'm done we can play" Keep giving her things to do and every once and awhile stop and sit with her. She will learn, but she is so little and growing so fast and just needs you to be there for her. It's really hard to keep a schedule with everything you have to do with a little one needing you too.

Good luck, you might want to check out some development books for this age....

Hope this helps.

Dear L.;

My son had the same "problem". I agree that she misses you and wants your attention. Our son would even stay up half the night after he had been in day care all day. My son was so "spoiled" that I vowed that it would be different with my second child.

Well, looking back, I can see that all the time and attention that my first child demanded paid off. He was walking at 9 months and reading at age two. By the time he was three or four, he was very independant. He has scored in the top 5% on his PSAT, has a 4.5 average and pitches and is quarterback on his High School varsity teams. He is remarkably honest and responsible.

My second, amazingly independant baby struggles socially and with his coordination and does not excell as much in academics. He is hilarious, but really can get into trouble. He is in Junior High now and depends on our attention much more.

I now feel that all the time we spent with our older son was really just an investment. They are not little forever!

Good Luck
Jen

I, also, used to teach and worked for a year after my first son was born and have been at home since. She is just going through a phase. I personally would give her all the attention you can. She is still so young. You can work with her on learning to play alone when you are at home permanently. I did with my son. I would put him on the floor with a favorite toy or two and sit on the couch and do something, so he could see me, but I wasn't interacting with him. As the days went by, I would move farther away and he wouldn't cry for me for longer periods of time. Now he is four and sometimes tells me to leave the playroom because he wants to play by himself. Funny how things work out. Congrats on getting to stay home next year!!

I know this is so hard!!! I am all for teaching children to play by themselves, but at this stage she also really needs a lot of interaction, especially if she is in daycare. Touching her, singing to her, talking to her, playing with her - this is how her brain develops. As wonderful as your daycare provider may be, they probably can't give the attention that your baby needs to grow and develop. I recommend doing the stuff that has to get done while she is sleeping - bills, etc. Meals can be cooked in advance and just heated up.
Again, I know this is hard...I have two....but, I do know that she has needs.
Congratulations on the ability to become a stay at home mom in June!!! It is the hardest job I've ever done.
Blessings!

Hi L.,
I have the boy version of your 6 month old. My son is 5 months old and I have a 23 month old girl. I totally feel your frustration. My mother jokingly said that my son must have a back problem because every time we lay him down he screams immediately. It is definitely a temperment issue as my daughter at this age would sit content in her bouncy seat - that we would just move all over the house when I would have to put her down to use the bathroom or cook or... whatever. What has helped us as of late is to hold him for a good 30 mins after he eats to make sure everything is digested and then cycle him through the baby einstein gym, the bouncer seat, the jump swing, our arms and the bumbo seat. My arms and back are so sore by the end of the day from holding him I am grateful to be able to break it up with all the jumpers and seats. We leave him in one thing until he starts to yell which is anywhere from 30 seconds to 15 mins and then cycle him through everything. Between all that I usually have a minute or two to feed myself, my daughter and to keep her from jumping on all the furniture. My husband has helped me alot by telling me to just accept that we have a newborn and if the house isn't as clean as I would like it, or dinner is not on the table right when he gets home that life will go on. This stage will pass. I get bothered about things not being picked up. Sometimes I have to force myself to just enjoy the beauty of a little boy wanting to be held by me. On the other hand sometimes my son is just going to have to cry if I need to take a shower to get ready for work. It's a balance. I wish you luck, please update me as things progress. My son is calling for me now- my time is up!

Get yourself a sling or an ergo or something like that so you can wear her while you're doing things. The more attention you give her, the less she'll need. It kind of works the opposite way at this age. Also, she's too young to spoil right now. You'll have plenty of opportunities for that and other ways to mess her up later on. Right now, she misses you and wants to be with you. chances are, this will get better once you're home with her full time. Until then, try and be understanding.