Help with a 10 Month Old Throwing Tantrums

I am completely there with you! My daughter is now 11 1/2 months, but she probably started throwing her tantrums around 10 months. Hers are related to other things, like us taking the remote control from her or other things she shouldn't have. She kicks her legs too and throws her head back and such. I don't know what to do to help, except to offer you the fact that you're not alone in this and that it is normal. We're just heading into toddlerhood, and well, now they're going to let us know they're upset to not be getting their way. Fun times. :)

My daughter didn't do that quite so young, but she did try it. Here's what we did. We would pick her up and carry her to a carpeted area and deposit her and say "at least have a tantrum on something soft" And we'd leave the room and completely ignore her.

Then I would start doing something she likes in view of her, like work a puzzle or play with toys, still ignoring her. She'd straighten up really fast to see what I was up to. She stopped after about 5 tantrums and never tried it again. Mainly because it didn't work I guess.

I have a 22 month old who is doing the same thing. He throws his body and whatever he has in his hand. We are probably doing it wrong but we just ket him have his fit and then when he gets over it(usually 30 seconds later)he will come back around us. If we try to pick him up or talk to him before he is over it it makes it worse.

Good luck!
S.

M.,

I am so glad to hear that I am not the only one...my 11 month old is doing exactly the same! I guess they are just starting to gain their independence. Pretty much ANYTHING I take her away from doing that she wants to do...she will cry and arch her back. I have just been telling her NO NO and ignoring her when she continues to be a drama queen. I have found that ignoring the drama makes it stop much quicker...the other thing that has worked for me in the past is distraction...just move their attention to something else. I will be watching your other responses to see what else works for others.
Best of luck to you....Be Strong!!!

K.

I believe it's okay for a 10 month old to throw tantrums but there is a time and a place. I would gather up my kid and take him/her to their room and sit in front of the door and let them throw the fit. When they were over it, explain how it makes you feel and that for now on each time he throws a tantrum that's what is going to happen.

If it happens in a store... immediately leave the store, put the child in his/her car seat and sit there until he is finished. If they can't calm down go home.

These things were suggested for me and it worked. My kids are now 14 and 16 and when they start behaving ways I don't like they go to their room until they can. I don't do the time out thing and never did.

A. Lynn

Just like you have already heard from other moms, it does work to ignore them as long as they are not where they can hurt themselves.Or you can try what my mom did.....She told me that once I was throwing a kicking and screaming tantrum so she lay down on the floor next to me and copied me until I busted out laughing.It can help you to relieve your stress in a positive way.

You are definitely not alone! My daughter all of a sudden started throwing tantrums (arching her back, crying) when she was about 11 months old (when she began walking). I certainly wasn't ready for those to start and was pretty surprised. When she had a tantrum we would make sure she was in safe place and then ignore her while she threw her little fit. After 3-4 weeks she was throwing fewer and fewer fits. She's now 14 months old and her tantrums aren't much of anything at all (as long as she's well rested, fed and feeling well). She's our first child, but we've learned pretty well when to anticipate a tantrum and sometimes we try to distract her with a toy or other thing to do. Helping babies learn that some things aren't for babies but other things are just fine to play with is a big learning curve -- plus they are persistent little ones!

I'm sure more big tantrums are not too far down the road (when the 2s hit), but know that these hopefully will pass soon. Hang in there!

A.

Yep. It's normal. If the fits don't last long, just step over him and continue your business. Distraction is appropriate at this age too. When you take him away from the electrical outlet, offer a alternative. Babies don't fully understand negative commands like "stop that." THe respond better to positive statements like "Let's play with bloks."
If he's persistent with his fit -- throwing things, kicking you, follows you around screaming, etc., you might try something like this:
Step 1: Stay calm.
Step 2: Say calmly, "Oh no, looks like you need some time to cool off" and put him in his crib or a playpen (be sure it's in another room or where he can't see you) for a minute or two. Setting a timer would be a good idea.
Step 3: When you go get him, say "I sure missed you! I hope you're ready to play nice/follow our rules/whatever." At his age, it's ok to get him out of the crib even if he's still fussing. He'll likely calm down once you're with him again. For an older child (like age 2 or so) I'd leave them in the room or crib until they're calm, THEN start the timer.

He'll likely go right back to the electrical outlet as soon as you put him down. If so...
Remove him and give the appropriate instruction and/or distraction. Then repeat Steps 1 through 3 over and over again until he gives up the fight.

Just note that when you pick a battle, you have to win it, and kids, even at 10 months old, can be doggedly persistent.

My daughter started doing this about a month ago(7 months) at this point since these fits have been here at home I just lay her on the floor and throw the fit. She seems to be fine once she realizes I am not giving her attention. She will quit and come get in my lap. Since there isn't alot you can do discipline wise at this age, this seems to work best. We have started working on telling her "NO NO" when she messes with something she shouldn't and she is picking up on what that means by the tone of our voice and is she persists I have been spatting her hand over certain things like unplugging things and playing with their cords. I am very afraid she will seriously hurt herself with this. Not to scare you, but these things are pretty minor to what we will face during the terrible 2's so I would try not to stress out too much now.

It seems to me that your child is starting go through the terrible 2s early. When my son was about 6 months old my mom started to do some research on it and found that the reason they go through this is because they can't communicate what they feel. So to combate some of the tantrums we started to teach our son kindersigns also know as baby sign language. It is very simple and my son is 4 and we still use it occsionally. It helps them to communicate some of there problems and it has also been known to help children talk at a younger age. It worked wonders on my son and now is the perect time to start it since he is 10 months old.