Help! My Son LIKES Time Outs!!

I have this same problem with my son. Some people might think that I am mean, but I make him stand with his nose on the wall, he hates it. I noticed them using this at daycare one day, and it works really well. I ask him if he needs to put his nose on the wall and he staightens right up.

We follow what the supernanny recommends. We put them in the worst possible place like stairs that face nothing, or she said a room that has nothing in there. Isolating them to the point they hate it there. Our kids hate time outs now that we use this method. Your son may be using the time outs "liking" to get your goat or to calm himself down. The time out area should have nothing to look at or play with. It has to feel like you sent them off to Siberia, so they curb their behavior to avoid it. Also we put them in time out for 1 minute per year of age. It has worked for us, good luck.

My DD same age will put her self in her room if she gets in trouble, She takes a few mins to herself then is ready to be a big girl again.
I say if he doesn't continue with the behavior after being in time out then it IS working.

I agree with one of the responders that time-outs are not supposed to be a punishment but a tool. They were devised, I believe, as an alternative to punishment and spanking. If the behavior you're hoping to affect with a time out does change for the better after he says yes to a time out, then great. It works for him and you.

I actually lost my cool once recently and was really angry with my boys and my 3 year old very calmly and seriously asked me if I thought I needed a little time to myself (my phrase). I said yes and I took a much-needed time out - I even went to sit on the steps where he usually sits! It was great.

A side note: I know I've always had a tendency to ASK my kids too many questions. I'm now in the habit of making statements. If there is a behavior going on that I want to change, I simply say, "If you keep doing X, you will have a time out." I don't give him a choice.

Peace.
G. D

Give one of his favorite toys a time-out. Put it out of reach so that he can't play with it until his punishment is over.

Hello,
I once had someone tell me that it wasn't an effecive behavior changer unless you are both uncomforetable because of it. Every kid has their thing. I have one son that I take away a toy or priceledge and it works wonders. My other son hates time outs. What ever you threaten just make sure you follow through and actually do it. Don't threaten to leave the store in the middle of your shopping if you aren't really willing to leave.I hope this helps. You sound like a great mom. Hang in there.

Ah yes, we found that if we used it to much they did like it. We actually started using the choice option, such as time out or loose a toy. Naturally, the children pick what they would like - but to have the most impact if they choose to loose a toy, we put them in time out. We finally moved to taking one toy away at a time, starting with the ones that don't mean as much and working our way to the bed time comforts (ducky for one daughter and blankey for the other). I have to admit, that they have started to behave more that they are loosing something that is more important to them then time out. We still use it on occassion when they need to think about their behavior.

My oldest was like that, in fact when she was upset with me for whatever reason, she would put herself on her "time out" chair. Then I figured out that she HATED it when i put her in time out on her bed (because I wasn't in eye sight). That worked for us.
Good luck!
L.

My daughter did the same thing at first. When I would ask her if she needed a time out, she would respond "yes". It wasn't the reaction that I was hoping for, but I would place her in time out, she would serve her time, and then she would continue on. I continued to do time outs, and the fun eventually wore off. Now, she would rather change her behavior than go to time out! Just keep being consistent and make sure that the time outs are not in a "fun" place for your son. It might take a little time, but the time outs will eventually not be so fun!

Does he goof off/playing in time out or does he just sit there? Do the times out help him? If the time out is still helping him there is nothing wrong about him saying yes to it. Now if he is still acting up in time up then you might want to change it up a bit.

He might understand that he needs a time out... he could realize that it is a place for him to be by himself, calm down and think. There is nothing wrong with that, just because he says yes to does not mean it stops working.

I remember as a kid I did the same thing to my mom. I understood what a time out was at age 2 and I would not say I enjoyed/liked it I just know that I felt better after a time out. I believe that your child is very intuned with what he needs. If this is the case you are a lucky mom.

All good advice! I always think like Chrissy, that it should be something that gets him where it hurts. But, like Brandy said, if it works, then that is fine. Kind of funny, huh?

My son once when he was 4 was being naughty while at McDonalds, so I took away his shake and said it was time to go. And he replied "I was done any way"--not snotty, but just matter of fact. I wanted to laugh--but I couldn't!

Timeouts are meant to be a quiet time where the child can calm down/regain his composure so that he can start picking good consequences again.

It's not meant to be a punishment. It's meant to be a tool. There's nothing wrong with him wanting a time out.

He's just testing you, anyway. Don't let it bother you.

Sometimes, when my son is throwing toys or hitting his sister with a toy, I prefer to give his toy a time out.

Keep up the the time-outs. It might be fun now, but it won't be that way always. The fun of it will wear off and it will feel like punishment. My son was the same way.