Help!! Monster Child!!

Updated on November 14, 2008
L.H. asks from Marietta, GA
4 answers

My daughter just turned 2 on Sept 5. She has now become a beast. She is throwing fits all the time- screamig, hitting, biting. I have tried time out ans have resorted to spanking a few times. She is very testy. She is becoming the kind of kid no one wants to be around b/c she is so bad. On my days off I do all kinds of stuff with her. Most of the time she is good around people or in public. She is in school 2 days a week. The school says she doesnt do any of the fits, hitting, or bitting. She saves it for us. Please any suggestions on how to get my princess back?

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A.B.

answers from Atlanta on

The terrible twos!!!! At this ago consistency, consistency, consistency!! And consequences. I recommend you make her earn the "rewards" of doing fun things with mom by behaving, and when she get her reward and then starts misbehaving immediately stop, leave,etc. so that she learns her bad behavior will get the fun stuff taken away. You can even do/ make ( yopu can find great ones online to print, but it will make it very special if she helps decorate it) a simple behavior chart for her and put the times she has problems on the chart, say for instance she has problems while you are making dinner give her some thing to do coloring, tv, etc and if she behaves give her a sticker or a smiley face, then if she has all her smileys she gets a treat (you doing something fun together, or a toy, etc) the key to making this work is that she is at an age where it is not going to work if she has to wait for her reward for very long, she can't wait the entire week for her "treat", makbe every other day if she has all her smileys she gets to go out for ice cream or to the park, etc. Explain it whole thing to her carefully and give her reminders through out the day.
But most importantly don't be afraid to stop and put away what you are doing or leave a store or the park, or even Grandma's house if she starts misbehaving!!

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J.M.

answers from San Diego on

Hi L.!
Like the other two mom's said you must stick to your guns. You must show her that you are the parent and she is the child. I think all kids go through the hitting and bitting stage BUT you must break her of it. She needs to know that it's not okay to do things like that.
I think a lot of parents are scared to be "parents" these days and I see a lot of kids walk all over their parents and I see parents talking softly, "now honey please stop". Don't be afraid to raise your voice. My son walked all over me when he was little, and I didn't want to go anywhere because he would pull little fits to get what he wanted. Then I realized I had to get control, and he knows now nothing works. When we go to the store and he asks for something and I tell him no, I can finish my shopping without having a screaming kid on my hand because he didn't get what he wanted. Just put your foot down, you are the parent and now is the perfect age to show her.

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T.K.

answers from Atlanta on

I am in the same situation but my daughter is 3. It was bad when she was 2 but it completely got worse when she turned 3. I have done everything under the sun an nothing has seemed to work. About 3 wks ago her and i sat done before bedtime and talked about her day etc. and you wouldnt believe the difference it has made. I now make it a point to give her one on one time no matter what and it has helped so much. Maybe this will help.

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A.L.

answers from Atlanta on

Hi L.!

Well the good news is that she is only behaving that was with you guys, in other words, she knows restriction, she is well behaved at school, which means that you are doing a great job! they are more of a reflexion of what we teach them when they are in the ouside world, I trulythink. So you should give yourself and her credit here. About the way she transformed herself at home, I see how children have about 1000 stages in which they test our limits and test how far they can get (that's how they learn what to do outside) So we have to keep on teaching them boundaries, don't give in her tantrums, if she trows a fit, walk away (as long as is safe) and show her that that won't work. Put her in time out and use firm stern voice and eye contact when you are addresing the biting or hitting and be CONSISTENT. That's all you can do to wheather this age. You know they are growing up, seting boundaries, they are testing independence fisically and emotionaly. I read a book called, well, "Baundaries" from Dr CLaud and Townsend and I learned a lot about it, is not only about children, but about the whole process of creating them. They also have the "Baundaries with Children", which I haven't read, but I hear is awesome.
Brace yourself, because this first adolecence period lasts until they are about 4. Nobody warn us, but the terrible 2 are just the biginning, then the TERRIBLE THREES begin...but You'll be fine you'll see..I am here if you need me
I hope this helps!

A..

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