M.G.
A.,
Hi, My name is M., I'm 42, and have three children. My oldest son is about to be 21, my middle son, is 19, and my youngest is a girl, she's 17, about to graduate from High School.
So, here's the deal. I have always had "trouble" with my middle child. I know that he suffered with middle child syndrome, and still does, even though he's 19. He always wanted me to hold him as a baby, and toddler, and tends to be the one that does the most pouting. I love Joseph with all my heart, he's always been popular, and everyone loves him. He's not shy, and never has been, even in grade school. I am very sympathetic to your situation, and this is how my husband and I dealt and still deal with Joseph's self-esteem. We would take only him to dinner, to the mall, to the park, etc., and as a child growing up. Now, that he is in College, we drive over to Lake Charles to visit him, take him to dinner, and do little things for him, to make him feel special.
I suggest that your husband do "dates" with your child, and you do the same. It will make your middle child feel special. I am the oldest, so I can't really relate to this whole middle child thing, but have talked to other adults who have expressed how they feel as middle children. Sometimes, I just think it's a bunch of "bunk", just an excuse to get attention, but apprently it is not. So, good luck, and make sure that you pay the same amount of attention to your other two.
Sincerely,
M. G.