Help Me Understand My 5 Year Old Daughter

Updated on December 29, 2006
L.W. asks from Upper Tract, WV
4 answers

Hello, my name is Becky have a 5 year old daughter that lets just say drives me crazy. I feel that she dosn't want to grow-up. Here are a few examples of what I am talking about. I started potty training her when she was around 2 years old. She was doing good and I started back to work and my sister watched her for me. My sister had a new baby. My little girl was crazy over him. Like to help out alot, but then she started doing in her pull-up. Then she started getting my sister to put diapers on her instead of the pull-up. She would not wear pull-ups any longer. I had to go back to diapers. She was 3 then and not potty trained. Well, she finally got potty trained. Now she will not go to the bathroom without yelling for help. I have let her sit for over an hour before listening to her cry and whine hoping she would go ahead and clean her own butt. No she will not. She tells me it is nasty and it makes her sick to do it. She will not walk to bed at night. She lays and cries until her daddy carries her to bed. My son that is 8 fights with her all the time and I think that it is because he feels left out. He calls her miss little princess of the whole house. She always says she can't. Sometimes it like she can't do anything. She can't open the door. She will not do anything that she don't want to do.

What can I do next?

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F.R.

answers from Albany on

My 5 yr old is close to this. She has her 8 yr old brother do everything. I think my 2 yr old does more than my 5 yr old. When I ask her to do something she either acts like she didn't hear me or acts like, "You expect me to do that?" She is LAZY! I have started a sticker chart for my 3 kids and this has helped a little. I have several things "chores" they must do to get a sticker. When all the chores are marked "finished" with a sticker for every day for the WHOLE week; then and only then do they get to choose a prize. I went to the parent teacher connection for the chart, stickers and prizes...or you can get stuff from the Dollar store as prizes. My children get very upset if they don't get all of their stickers, AND if they are acting horrible I start taking stickers OFF of the chart. I hope this helps.

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C.S.

answers from Burlington on

make her do it herself- you are the parent. i have the same (not as extreme) issues with my 3 year old. if she wants to lay on the floor and not go to bed, leave her there....she'll learn. dont give in because then she'll keep doing it as long as she can get away with it.
C.

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A.O.

answers from Hartford on

maybe try a reward system. either stickers, or toys or candy or something like that to get her in the swing of things.

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G.

answers from New York on

It sounds like your daughter was distraught when you went back to work and wanted to be a baby again. It sounds like she never really got over you going to work and did not get her needs of being babied by you fulfilled. I really need to say that I do not want to make you feel guilty and please don't b/c the economics of parenting are so hard. I am just trying to give you some possibilities.

I know it is trying for you and your family and I am sure you son does feel a little left out but that is easy to remedy by giving him extra attention with something that he likes to do.

Your daughter however is trickier. I know it would be trying and hard but I would baby her and much as you can tolerate. By babying her you might get her needs of being babied fulfilled. Does this make sense? I would even hold her like a baby while you chill out at the end of the day.

This is probably the opposite of everything everbody is telling her but isn't it worth trying?

Good luck,
G.

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