Help! I've Dug Myself into a Hole!!!

Updated on November 19, 2008
J.T. asks from Mansfield, TX
23 answers

Several months ago, some very nice Jehovah's Witnesses came to my door to "share" with me. Of course, the ladies were so nice, I listened to them then and the many times they have come back. Well, I'm tired of them coming to talk to me--I am not interested in becoming a J.W., as I am a Christian. The problem I have created is that they think I am interested in learning more about what they're "selling" (I am not; however, I have probably given them reason to believe I am), and I don't know how to ask them to stop coming. I'd like to tell them something bible-based that refutes what they are trying to convince me of. I don't know my bible as well as many of you do, so I'm hoping you could give me some guidance as to what I could say. Of course, I could just ask them to stop coming, but I just can't bring myself to do it. In the future, I won't let the niceness of the doorbell-ringers get the best of me. Please help!!!

****Note: I have NOTHING against people with beliefs different than my own, I just don't want them interrupting my day at my home.

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J.S.

answers from Houston on

Tell them that you would like them to listen to you, & then you try to convert them.

You could also just tell them that you just enjoy celebrating holidays & birthdays too much to convert.

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T.G.

answers from Dallas on

Go to Half Price Books and get the first book in the Left Behind Series (the series books are less than $6 each there). The next time they come to the door, tell them you have something you would like to give them and hand it over. That will be the last you see of them :)

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S.H.

answers from Dallas on

Well, first of all, I commend you for giving them time. However, if you are not comfortable with them coming by, just let them know. There's no need to be rude, even if they are pushy. You are a Christian, so treat them as Christ would.

Secondly, I am a Mormon, and just to clarify, we are Christians. We believe in the same Christ and God as the rest of the Christian world. I only mention this, because there are misunderstandings about our church, and I am sure there are plenty about the J.W's.

Now, being a Christian, I believe that we should show others the same respect that we want from them. Think, if you had a sister or brother that you didn't agree with, you would still love and respect them. We are all still brothers and sisters and God's children; so, treat them as such. Also, keep in mind that when people want to be baptized into the J.W. church, they are required to knock on doors before they are baptized. I don't remember why, though.

Maybe just be grateful that it's helped you solidify your own beliefs and move on. Take care, and I hope all goes well.

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K.M.

answers from Seattle on

Hi - I agree that the best thing to do is be polite but firm and say that you are no longer interested in talking. However, since you indicated you are not able to do that, how about writing them a short note (have it available by the door) and when they come, greet them and tell them you have something for them and that it has been a pleasure knowing them and you wish them all the best, hand them the note and close the door.

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C.P.

answers from Dallas on

Dear Jessica,

I'm affraid you'd have to make yourself unavailable. I was in a similar situation and one of the ladies lived in my neighborhood! don't lie. just don't open the door. or have a stading appointment with a friend, so whenever they show up it's time for you to go to your friend's house. and you would be telling the truth. =) I also think everyone in entitled to believe what their heart desire however, sometimes if you listen and engage in conversation it's assumed that you want to believe the same as they do. (am I making sense?) Good luck! ~C.~

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R.

answers from Dallas on

I would, and have, told them that you disagree with what they are saying because they believe that only so many people can get into heaven but our Bible says "For God so loved the world that WHOSOEVER believes in Him shall not perish but have everlasting life." ~John 3:16 it doesnt say a certain few but all and that is what we believe and that is what I live by and feel, my salvation and eternal life is secure in Him. Also, they talk about "working" or "earning" their way into Heaven...what is Grace? It is God's UNMERITED favor on us and He bestows it freely to us, His children. I don't know if this is what you are wanting but these are some things that you could say to them other than just shutting/ignoring the door. HTH

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L.M.

answers from Dallas on

Jessica,
Just out of curiosity, I typed in "jehovah witness" in google and many websites popped up that exposed the truth of jehovah witness. For your own information, I would recommend that you take a few minutes and read some information for yourself. It sounds like you are secure in your salvation through Jesus but maybe because of your last line in your posting, it sounds like you assume that other people have "different ways for salvation". It's easy to believe that because that's what the world teaches us and that's what Satan wants us to believe. As you probably are aware, Jesus said "I am The Way, The Truth, and The Life, no one comes to the Father but by Me." I may be way off or have read more into your posting but wanted to alleviate any fuzziness because this isn't a fuzzy issue. Stand up and be bold to this women. And use this as an opportunity to understand your faith better. I'll say a prayer for you now.

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T.T.

answers from Dallas on

I myself am a Christian and do not belong to any one denomination. I do not like people pushing their religion on to me as well. I am not a big fan of "bible thumpers" who feel they have to push or sell their faith onto others. If you want to share and talk about your faith that is what church is for if you choose to go or friends and family. But no one should sell you their religion.

I would put a No Soliciting sign on the door and dont answer it anymore. You have the right not to be bothered.

Or you can be honest and explain to them...as much as you loved speaking to them about thier faith it is not for you. You choose to stay nondenominational christian and that you appriciate their time but it is not for you. They will understand I assure you. If not stick to not answering the door.

I try to learn about all faiths should the opportunity arise just to be aware of others beliefs. This does not by anyway sway me from being a christian but it is nice to just have the extra knowledge. So you got your knowledge and now your done with it.

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T.W.

answers from McAllen on

Well you've gotten yourself in a pickle. I'm Christian too, and don't wanna listen to them. I usually, very nicely say, I'm not interested and that I'm a Christian. I think since you've already talked to them, I think you should just ignore the doorbell. Trust me, they hear all things, I know you don't wanna hurt their feelings, but they were told to go out and do that, they're going to get rude people. I've tried to talk to people in college about Christianity and got snubbed, it hurt my feelings, but that's part of it. Hope this helps.

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C.A.

answers from Dallas on

I remember when I was much younger and at home with my little one's the Church of Jesus Christ and the LDS kept riding their bikes to my house. I was naive, and didn't want to hurt anyone's feelings and found myself in your situation. I had no interest in the Mormon religion, especially the LDS-but they kept coming back. Finally, my husband told me to just not answer the door. I remember the next time they came taking my kids into a room and 'hiding' until they left. After a couple times, they got the picture. It's ridiculous they have to ride around and attempt to 'convert' people. I was raised Church of Christ, but attended Baptist as a teen. I've visited many denominations, but one thing that turns me off is 'pushy' religion.

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N.

answers from Dallas on

I also agree it's best to just not answer the door when you see it is them. I do that all the time. If someone knocks on my door that I do not know, or that I don't want to talk to, I just don't answer it. I don't care if they hear my kids or see me pass in front of the window. There's no law that says I have to answer my door if I'm home so I just don't do it. I see it more as a safety issue at my house. And it may not be the polite thing to do, but I could care less what a complete stranger thinks about why I won't answer the door. Nowadays, people shouldn't be surprised. I mean, you hear about people getting shot just opening their front door to a stranger. We've lived in our current house for 4 1/2 years and I RARELY get "visitors" during the day now when I used to get several each week. I think most "solicitors" know to just walk on by. Even all my delivery people know to just ring and run 'cause I'm not going to answer the door.

I will say that when I have gotten cornered by people like these, I politely say with a smile on my face "I'm not interested. Thank you." They always try to get me by saying "Well, will you pray with us?" and I reply "No, thank you." also smiling. If they continue, I say "I'm a Christian and I do not care to learn anything more about your religion. Please respect my wishes and do not come to my house again. Have a nice day.", smile, and I close the door. I have never had anyone try again.

I believe that God expects you to be kind, but not a pushover.

Good luck!

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M.S.

answers from Dallas on

They love it when you get to debating them, because that gives them hope and allows them to continue the "conversation." They are trained to keep at it & meet your objections. The best way is to be up-front and say that you are no longer interested in discussing the matter with them. You can say it politely but firmly--it's not being rude, you're not slamming the door in their face.

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A.M.

answers from Dallas on

Before you do anything, pray about it. Pray for God to give you wise words to say and that His love would shine through those words. Pray for God to give you the discernment to know what to do.

Honestly, I know some strong Christian friends who invited Mormons into their home every week as a way to minister to them. (the Mormons knocked on their door first.) And our friends had the belief that if they were taking time to talk to them... that was one less family they are spending time with sharing misguided beliefs. But week after week, my friends, who are strong, well-versed believers, gave them evidence straight from the Bible and valid points, the Mormons had something to come back with. Or if they had no answer or challenge, they would just continue to point to the Book of Mormon, which is not a book we believe as the true divine Word of God. So everything in that book is invalid for us. They even brought some guy in (high up in the Mormon church leadership) to start coming by with them because they could not challenge my friends and felt like they were losing the battle.

So long story short, they are trained to talk it to death.... they are trained to have the last word... they are trained not to back down from what the other person challenges.
My friends had to kindly tell them that they were not interested in their religion and that they had a church home and they are Christians and will always be Christians. And they had to be blunt and ask them to stop coming by. They could also see by this point that they were not getting anywhere with my friends... so that higher ranked Mormon guy said they shouldn't waste their time at their home anymore. But this was after MANY meetings. Maybe 2 months?
Pray for God to give you the strength and the confidence to stand up for your beliefs and to have the courage to defend your faith and to be firm about how you know God wants you to spend your time.

The longer you do this, the more dangerous it is for your spiritual life. Satan is battling for your attention ... to take your focus and mind off of God and your Christian walk. Do not think that these visits are harmless.
I'm praying for you. God can give you the courage and wisdom to do this!! Just trust Him!!

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S.W.

answers from Dallas on

Quoting the Bible to refute them isn't going to help. My father-in-law has a PhD in theology and he loves nothing more than to debate these people, but all you'll do is encourage the conversation more; you won't convince them that they're wrong because their faith is so strong in what they believe that they'll fight as long as you are willing to let them. It's a lot like a parent of a badly behaved child who doesn't believe that their child could do anything wrong; they love their faith (and good for them), and your words won't change that. I think you should politely decline their visits and tell them that you are not interested in joining their faith and you would feel bad if you wasted any more of their time when they could be out meeting with someone who would join their faith.

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M.G.

answers from Dallas on

I actually wouldn't pull up the Bible doctrine or anything. The thing is they have already been made aware of what the bible states, but they are taught how to reciprocate so to speak.

I would just tell them straight out that you are not interested and would prefer they not visit again. If they continue to talk, just go in all the while saying "you're nice ladies, and I thank you for the visits, but please do not visit again." You have to just be straight up with anyone like that. It's hard to do that, but it's sometimes very necessary.

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T.F.

answers from Dallas on

Oh boy, I don't know what to tell you except I am sorry. It seems that ANYTHING said to them except a FIRM NO THANK YOU and close the door makes them think they have you.

I know I am frowned upon because I am very blunt, say no and close the door. I have learned simply not to answer the door.

I don't use any verses from the Bible, I just say I am not interested. They are somewhat pushy and when that happens, I get firmer, stand my ground, and close the door. I end up looking like a bad person but that is all I know to do.

I was approached not too long ago by 2 young men on bikes at my grocery store. One had the gall to get off the bike to "help" me get groceries in my car. I bluntly said, you are a stranger to me, do not approach me. He then wanted to pray with me and asked why I bought so much water. I asked him to leave me alone or I would riase my voice in the parking lot and things would not be pretty. They left.

I feel for you. I learned a long time ago that bluntness works, even though it is not "nice".

Hang in there.

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T.O.

answers from Dallas on

I agree, don't lie. Because that would not be Christian.

Either ignore them or open the door and say "Hi ladies, I'm going to have to ask you not to come visit me anymore. I've had a change of heart about our talks, and I don't want to discuss my spirituality with you anymore." and SHUT THE DOOR. Don't let the ask you why or what or how come... just say "good day" and close it up and walk away.

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A.A.

answers from Dallas on

If this were me, Id HIDE HIDE HIDE...period!

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J.M.

answers from Dallas on

Jessica: you are in a very deep hole. These people are probably very nice, and they are truly wanting to convert you away from Christ and Him Crucified. The best, and quickest way is to be totally truthful. Just tell them that you have heard their message and you would prefer that they not visit any further. If they ask why, just tell them that you would prefer not to discuss anything further - then do the hard thing and shut the door! Do NOT let them engage you in any further conversation, because if you are not a strong Christian, or well versed in God's Word, you will be swayed.

If they can keep you talking, they will win! Please, pray about this and ask God to give you strength to be FIRM, yet kind. You can not convert them. It usually takes many years for a JW to come to their senses, if ever.

May God give you insight into HIS will.

J. M - John 19:30.

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C.G.

answers from Dallas on

I always just tell them from the get go that I have a church that I am very happy with. I usually won't even extend my hand to reach for the literature they are offering saying something like "I'd rather you give that to someone who is actually interested, as I have a church that I regularly attend and just really don't have the desire to read other material".
By nature JW's aren't usually extremely aggressive and that usually works and I remain uncomfortably pleasant to them as they are walking down my steps, but if you ever give someone a little lead in (I know because I used to be you! even with the guys selling keychains in the Wal-Mart parking lot) it usually takes a little more unpleasantness to get them to not come back. You could always just not answer your door or when they do show up tell them that right now isn't a good time as you're sick or just about to leave...
I wouldn't know what to say to get them to leave you alone for good without being rude and unfortunantly I'm not very good at that either so it's probably not best for me to give advice in that area!

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K.Y.

answers from Dallas on

Although it is probably a wimpy way out I would just have my husband answer the door, tell them we are not interested and that I am not home until they give up. I am horrible at telling people no they can't come in or sell me something so I just don't answer the door or let my hubby bail me out by giving them a polite no thank you on my behalf :)

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C.T.

answers from Dallas on

Maybe you could try what my mom always says-"Please come in and let me share my beliefs and some Bible verses with you." They always decline. I certainly don't mean to judge, but maybe you need to work on being a little more assertive in your life.

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S.W.

answers from Amarillo on

You are better person than I am about meeting with this group. When they come to the door next time, just tell them that you are No longer interested and shut the door. Don't feel bad about it - learn how to say NO and mean it and walk away. They are used to getting told no many many times. Learn how to stand your ground and mean it otherwise they will continue to bug you. The other S.

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