Getting Pressured to Join Church

Don't get offended or embarassed by people who are more screwed up than you are! Which is a lot of people! "Are you pregnant?" is highly intrusive from any stranger, religious or not. You can say "I'm not pregnant" but that's giving them private info. You can fib, but that makes you feel bad. You can say "That's pretty personal" or "I'm sorry, have we met?" and when they say NO, then ask why they would be soliciting such personal info from a complete stranger. If they go away, fine. If they persist, say "this is making me uncomfortable."

I don't think you have to go thru life avoiding eye contact with the world just in case there are a few intrusive ones. I think you just have to be polite but still be firm, and DO NOT let complete strangers change your opinion of yourself. By the way, size 12 is completely average.

I agree that, if you join this group, you already know what's expected of you. If you are interested in a church, find one that doesn't proselytize. If you're not interested, don't explore any.

I've never been approached in public, just at the door by the Jehovah's Witnesses. They don't identify themselves as such, they usually ask a question about what I think of the state of the world. Then once they hand me their magazine "Watch Tower" I know who they are. They are undeterred by the fact that I am Jewish and have a mezuzah on my doorframe. We also had a group of Mormons come to a synagogue service (they were more than welcome) but then they told us the reason they were wearing their name tags is that they always do so when proselytizing! We thought that was a little much - to come into our house of worship to lure us into something else.

One poster takes about the Boston Church of Christ and Middletown Church of Christ - I know nothing about them and don't know if these are the people who approached you. But be aware that there is something called the United Church of Christ which does NOT do what you experienced - so names can be confusing. Also, there are evangelical proselytizing groups that don't have that word "evangelical" in their name, and there are churches that do have the word "evangelical" in their name who do NOT go up to strangers. For example, the Evangelical Congregational church in my town does not go around evangelizing.

There are some groups from nearly every religion that do this. Annoying I know but they believe in it.

Just try to keep control of the situation and don't feel obliged to get involved in any conversation that doesn't interest you or seems way to personal. It's hard when you are caught off guard, but you also don't want to be negative toward another person in the park who might have a kid your child's age, or who is just making friendly conversation with no ulterior motive, you know?

Hi Jess,

Yes, I used to experience that when I lived in the Boston, MA area. It was quite annoying. My experience was with the Boston Church of Christ (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Boston_Church_of_Christ). In your area it would be called the Middletown Church of Christ or some other nearby city. Where I live now, I am only visited by the Jehovah's Witnesses. The BCoC was much more "in-your-face." The Jehovah's Witnesses are not pushy. I've seen Mormons, but have never had any of them approach me.

My brother had a friend who joined the BCoC. End of that friendship. The organization seems to brain-wash its followers. If you can't get people to join, then don't be friends with them because you should be in agreement with your friends, especially about God. So you can understand why these people are so active in getting people to join their church - they need more friends since they proabably lost their former friends. It's sad. So, yes, they seem to be nice, it's because they are trying their hardest to get you to join them.

I had a coworker that belonged to the BCoC. It was impossible to be friends with her. She was constantly proselytizing. I agreed to go with her to a bible study. It was so organized toward getting me to join their group. It was creepy. I was so glad to move back to Vermont to get away from them. But then a group of them showed up in Burlington. That ruined my evening.

If you join that church, you know what you'll be doing - going up to strangers in public to try to cajole them (pressure is what you felt, and what I felt) to join thier church.

I use to be Christian. I'm now atheist and much happier. You don't need to be religious to be a good person and have a happy life. But if you feel drawn to it, check out the beliefs of the church on-line at their official websites. Also check out what detractors say about them. FYI: There are thousands of different religions - good luck!

Here are the official sites of the three above-mentioned organizations:
http://www.bostoncoc.org/index.php
http://www.watchtower.org/
http://lds.org/ldsorg/v/index.jsp?vgnextoid=e419fb40e21ce...

As for the comment about your "pregnancy," yes, people can stick their foot in their mouths, can't they? She was trying to find an opening to conversation. I think it would have been funny if you had said, "I'm not pregnant, I'm fat." But size 12 isn't very big.

That's my experience.

Good luck,
: ) MD

I have yes. Once on my front porch and the other at barnes and noble. I am an atheist, so its kinda funny that they came to me of all people. But I basically just told them my religious beliefs and that I was not interested.

If you are interested in the church, check it out, maybe you will like it. If not, just tell them you have a church that you belong to and are very happy with.

I find those people so annoying. You aren't pushing your beliefs on them, therefore they shouldn't on you. So, if you think they are sketchy, just be honest. No need to tip toe around them if you don't want to be a part of their group.

I had someone ask me if I was pregnant, too. I'm just fat and my baby is 9. I have had weight issues since he came along. You just reply , excuse me I am not pregnant, thank you very much.
THey will usually be too embarrassed to go any farther with any conversation.
We had a neighbor once get so fed up with the Bible Thumpers that come to the door. A couple came one day and she opened the door and spoke Spanish to them. Sometimes it pays to be bilingual.
My son was accosted by the kiosk girls in the mall, the ones who sell hand cream. he almost had the stuff on his hands when I whisked him away. Do not make eye contact with these people. Walk quickly by them and do not say anything ot them.

Hi Jess, there are a few churches who regularly invite others to church as part of their belief system. Jehovah's witnesses and Mormons are generally known to go door to door. There are some other church (Baptist, Pentecostal, Church of Christ, etc) members will invite people anywhere, some more regularly than others.

I agree, if you are looking for a church, it might be worth a peek. If not, just tell them no, thank you and they will usually respect that. They are looking for people who are "open" (i.e. interested in their message). Keep in mind that they typically are nice people doing what they feel is right to help others. Some believe that the first-century Christians spread the word about Christ by word-of-mouth, and they're attempting to do the same. Some are more enthusiastic than others.

Your reaction is a normal one for someone who feels like you are being "sold" something - it lends toward feelings of suspicion. It doesn't mean what they're "selling" is bad (or good), it just means the method is not the best.

Well I have the same two nice old ladies that come to my door every few days to try to get me to become a jehova's witness. I politely tell them I am happy with my religion, every time they come! My hubby talks to them a lot more than I do, he's a sucker. Just be careful. If you feel nervous about them trust your instinct. when u see them walk away and don't acknowledge them at all. Or politely tell them to leave you alone! As far as "looking Pg" they are just looking for an opening. I'm sure you look fine. If u don't make time for yourself to work out your body never goes back to the way it was before kids. Unless you are super lucky!

I had someone in a parking lot approach me and ask how old my daughter was. She also had a toddler close to my my daughter's age. After a little more small talk, she invited me to a play group. I was new to the area, so I decided to go. When I got there there were quite a lot of women and children there, and I began to wonder why they would want another new person when there were so many already! The conversation centered around bible study and then one of them asked me about my religious beliefs. I was very uncomfortable, and decided not to go back. I started getting phone calls from the woman's husband trying to convince me to come back! That's when I knew that all they really wanted from me was to join their church! I felt very manipulated and never took any more calls or had any contact with the woman again.
as far as asking if you were pregnant, it was a stupid comment to make, and I wouldn't let it bother you. A few days after I had my son, I had a woman ask me when my baby was due! It takes nine months to put the weight on, it takes even longer sometimes to take it off! :)