Is this a stage or is my child hyper-active??!?
Now granted my 3-yr old has been through the normal stages of development. But lately she seems to be going through another terrible two stage. She has been just 'bouncing off the walls' full of energy. I mean making silly noises all the time, not sitting down for dinner, ignoring our demands etc. Just today she ran out of the classroom at daycare. When we got home, I asked her to tell her daddy what she did today. She told him "I ran outside". He asked her if she was supposed to do this. She said "Nope"....as if to say Nope, (Nope-pronounced quite proudly) wasn't supposed to, but I did anyway, so what.
She argues. When she asks to go outside and we say no, it's too cold/rainy (whatever) she says "It's not rainy, cold" and presists to argue. It's just to the point where her behavior is not cute anymore. It's aggrevating and makes it where we can't go out to dinner or anywhere she HAS to behave.
Is this a stage? Is there somethig wrong with her? I'm just so frustrated. She had (until this point) done relatively good for the most part. But now it's as if she has this little teenager attitude!!! Talking back and everything.
Any thoughts?
Thanks so much for everyone's support. Your posts made me feel much better and actually made me look at the situation a little differently. I think I'll buy some of those books recommended too. I have to say tho, it's so hard to hear your only child say things like "Go away Momma, I can do myself". Uahh...breaks my heart.
Go to library and get Nanny 911 and the Super Nanny Books. You also might want to look at what has changed in her diet. when they are little we watch what they eat but as they move from baby food to table food things start to happen. contact me if you need any more help. I am a Wellness Consultant and I would love to help.
I had a similar request regarding ,my almost 2 year old. I dont believe in the "terrible twos". Children can and should mind, but my daughter is out of control! After many suggestions of the book "Happiest Toddler on the Block" I went and bought it about a week ago. I am already starting to see improvements in her behavior. She is still pretty far from the behavior I would like to see in her, but she is getting a little better each day. This book covers up to 4 year olds. You might give it a try. You can read my recent post and replies- under the discipline section. Good luck I know first hand how hard and frustrating it is.
I know it has been awhile since you posted this? However, I have 3 kids... My oldest Daughter just turned 5 and my middle daughter will be 4 next month ( my youngest is a boy). Anyways, when my oldest turned 4 she turned into a huge disagreeable challenge ( I actually cried at night a few times). I couldn't understand why she changed overnight? Then as she got closer and closer to age 5 she became more and more pleasant. Now, almost simultaneously with her birthday she only lacks a halo and wings. She is really sweet again! Now, my 3 year old daughter who is going to be 4 next month, and has always been so sweet, is starting to be very disagreeable. It is just like history repeating itself. So, I am not discouraged this time thinking I have done something wrong. It is a stage both my girls have gone through at the same age. Trying to make their own decisions and have some control over themselves. Fear Not, this too will pass and your little angel will return. Let her have control of small things and teach her about being her own person and still being respectful and a controlled well mannered young lady. I usually say "Ladies do not do this or that...... and we are Ladies" " Do you see mommy do that? well, because ladies do not act that way." Anyway, I hope this helped!
Don't know if it helps or hurts, but I have been given the "advice" by several people that the terrible twos are nothing compared to the terrible three's :) So yes I assume it is normal. I have also read that it is good for them to develop strong personalities and to be able to articulate their own thoughts and desires. Just look at it as you are raising a strong, determined woman! It'll serve her well later in life. Of course that's easy for me to say when I haven't faced it myself yet. Good luck!
Sounds like a typical three year old to me! Three was much worse than two for both my kids, and most of my friends agree it was with their kids too.
They are more verbal so they argue, and they push more limits because they are feeling more sure of themselves. And they whine, oh my goodness I thought I was going to go nuts with the constant whining!!!
Now is a good time to implement a discipline strategy, together with your husband, with predictable repercussions and stick to it. I used a book called "Making Your Child Mind Without Losing Yours" and I liked it a lot. It's based on logical consequences. She won't sit down at dinner, dinner is over. She breaks a toy, toy is gone and she doesn't get another. If you're out to dinner and she's acting up, someone takes her to the car until she calms down. No, it's not fun for you, but eventually she'll learn she has to listen.
Good luck, and remember it will pass!
Yes, but it's TRYING TWOS & terrible threes.
Hi D.! I just signed up and saw your help statement on the main page. I then saw that you wrote this in Dec.2007. So, I would hope that things have simmered down with your daughter and she is doing better. Oh, and December 4th, when you posted was our Anniversary!!!
I just wanted to let you know a little something that has helped us ot. I was a daycare teacher when I was 18 years old. When I had our daughter Jessy, who will be 3 at the end of September, I reminded myself about this one phrase that I was so sure I would never use. That phrase was "Terrible 2s, or terrible anything". I am a big believer that we have what we say, and we have what we think. One thing you could do for yourself is just change the way you think about this situation. Grant it, its not easy with a two or three, and you hear even with 18 or 35 year olds. However, the way we think can change our situations. So instead of saying that she is in her terrible 3s stage, call it her Terrific 3s stage. Start telling her that she is a Terrific 3 year old!And the more positive you put in to her and she hears you say, she'll start to believe it. Books can't always help us out with those situtaions because not every child is the same. What workds for one may not, work for the other. Trust your heart and find a way of doing things that works for you.
I hope this helps. And, if your sitatuon is already doing great, I'd love to hear about it.
Three was much worse for me than two! With both of my boys!
D.,
Your daughter is going through a quite normal stage of her life. I not only have 3 little ones of my own (one who is currently 3 and driving me nuts, too), but I also taught at a daycare for years becoming a mom. After teaching in every age classroom from babies to 5yo, I told my boss to please NEVER put me in the 3yo room again. :) At 3 is when they are testing every limit and boundary. It's that time when you specifically say, "Don't touch that." and they look at you, look at 'that', look at you again, and then turn around and touch 'that'. One of my friends said it best when she said that you just have to realize that it's their 'job' to test boundaries at this age. And it's our job to try to stay calm as we teach them consistently where that boundary is.
Hang in there and STAY CONSISTENT. Eventually she will learn the boundaries and mellow to the point of only testing a few things instead of everything all at once!
I really think that twos were easy, but threes stink! My son is the same way. I really think it is because at 3 they are asserting their independence, they want control over their life...they are trying to do more themselves and tobe quite honest I have had to do a lot of soul searching myself during this past year! I have to get over some of my hang ups about why I do things a certain way and why he "can't" do certain things - they wnat choices. Talk to her about making good choices and bad choices and then talk about consequences to her choices. Follow through on the consequences for bad behavior...it is so much harder to parent a child who suddenly realizes that there is freedom out there!
I am going through EXACTLY the same thing. Bedtime used to be as easy as 5 min, she was done, in bed, no noises. Last night it took a good hour before she finally gave up. She talks back, whines, hits the air but directed toward me. She's normally a very sweet little girl, but she gets in these moods sometimes. She also runs out of her daycare. Every day i pick her up, she hugs me and then runs out the door, so every day i'm chasing her. Fortunately, she stopped running outside and now stops in the lobby, but still, it is very aggravating. Dinner time, she won't sit in her chair. She's an amazing eater. She'll eat anything, but keeping her in the chair, is the problem. I've been tempted to start putting her back in a high chair at the table just to strap her in to keep her there, but i haven't yet. I don't really have any advice, but I just wanted you to know that I'm going through the same thing, so you're not alone.
