Need Help with My 3 Year Old - Westchester,IL

Gosh I hate 3 ( I have a 3 yr old now).....only advice is to be consistent with disciplining.....and if he doesn't sell on ebay another place to try to sell him is bookoo.com, lol

Early bedtime and wine : )

It will pass. Stay strong and consistent.

He's 3, do things with him that 3 yr olds like to do..... right now they love to learn stuff. Talk to him and make him your little buddy. He's feeling insecure with himself and so his attitude is the only thing he can control. He just wants to play Mommy and have fun.... he is 3. Be 3 with him.

I teach young children and he is starting to assert some independence probably for the 1st time. He needs to have boundaries on what he can say and do with consequences consistently by all caregivers and parents. IF you ask him to do something and he ignores or refuses give 1 warning. At the 2nd request if he doesnt comply then time out. Make it in a particular chair and tell him you want to think about the choice he made for a few minutes until you come bk, ask did you make a good choice or bad choice? Let him know he needs to sit there until you return and tell him he can get up. Use a firm but calm voice (3-4 minutes total time out at this age is good) and get at his eye level and talk to him when you do this. THen after the time is up go to him and sit down at eye level and ask him in the same tone if he knows why he had to go to time-out. Listen and clarify if he does not say anything. Next, ask him what a better choice would have been. Tell him that in the future he needs to make better choices and listen to Mommy and Daddy when they tell him something. See how this goes for a few wks but you and Dad must be consistent. Give him a hug when he is done after you have talked. Redirecting is also good to do at 3-5 too, but base it on the situation. If he is not getting along with a sibling, but not hurtful or is angry over something, offer him to go do something else away from the situation and lead him there,reading a book to him is good, suggesting you and he play with a toy, or do a craft he likes in another area is good. This often changes childrens mood and calms them down. I'd get some books from the library on parenting a child of preschool age, there are plenty of good ones out there. . Three and -5 is a wonderful age after you can get the behavior in line. Be sure to praise him too when he is making good choices and tell him why ie " Mommy likes how you picked up your toys when I asked the 1st time, you are getting so big." Hope these ideas help, and hang in there Mom. You can do this.

I just posted this in another answer, but will post again here. I know this sounds totally wacky, but please get him tested for strep.

A strep throat culture - both rapid and 72 hour- when done with both swabs in the hand at once is most effective.

Strep is RAMPANT right now and it can cause behavioral changes in little kids. If you have ever heard of elderly people suddenly having a personality change, most times they will be diagnosed with an infection like a UTI and once on antibiotics are their own sweet selves again. This is the same principal.

Some children dont' get the classic sore throat with strep, but instead will have a personality change (for the worse!) and sometimes bedwetting, OCD, and other odd behaviors (when I say odd- I mean odd for them- out of character.)

It could be an age and a stage- certainly!!! But better safe than sorry. I searched for years as my daughter got worse and worse and only at 9 yrs old did I finally learn about this. She had gotten strep infections when she was a toddler that I never once suspected she had, and she suffered for years needlessly, being diagnosed with things like ADD, OCD, etc.

You can read my blog to find out more, if you are interested.
www.chickipea.wordpress.com

M.

heehee! Welcome to three! My little boy did this, too. He's 3.5 now and it's gotten a lot better. It's just a phase. Be patient, that's tops. Just keep repeating and enforcing. My husband pointed out to me a while back that my getting upset about it contributes nothing good to the situation and he was right. When baby doesn't listen, there are consequences-- usually going to his room until he is ready to behave. He makes the choice to rejoin the family, but he can't be crying. On the occasions when he was fully upset and unable to calm down, I went into his room with some water and a hug. He still wasn't allowed to come out until he was ready to behave, but he was loved through the process and helped to calm down. That process worked SO much better than me getting upset with him and hurting his feelings. He's learning. He's not turning rotten on you, I promise (as long as you don't let him get away with it, of course).

WHile it is a trying time, I also find a lot of humor in it, and that helps me a lot. :)

Har, har!
My son, is like that too... except he turned that way when he was about turning 4 years old.
My son was a perfect fun "angel" before that.

Yep, its a stage....
But, know what tweaks your son or not... and how... different approaches will work or not.
ie: for my son... talking with him about something, CALMLY, helps. Even giving warnings in advance... before doing something. For other kids this may not help, but for my son and per how his head works... this is how I handle him.

I love to recommend the wonderful book ow to Talk So Kids Will Listen, and Listen So Kids Will Talk, by Faber and Mazlish. It's my all time favorite parenting resource, and I use the principles often with my 4.5yo grandson.

The techniques and ideas are mutually respectful, and they work. I've even recommended this book to a couple of young families with one or more very difficult children, and they began to see positive changes from the first day they started experimenting with the techniques.

I am right there with you and my daughter will be 4 in February. Its a phase. I have learned that there is no such thing as terrible two's but rather 3's are even harder although there is going to be some kind of "phase" for each year as our children are trying to grow up and become independent. I don't have any real great advice other than what is working for my child which seems to be different every day. I try pulling her aside when she isn't listening and bend down so I am face to face with her and make her look me in the eyes. It seems to work for now and then she does seem to focus more on what I am saying. Good luck!

3 is the new 2, as I'm discovering myself. Good luck, you're not alone!

I highly highly recommend Dr. Sears Discipline Book. It will save you so many headaches, seriously,

http://www.amazon.com/Discipline-Book-Better-Behaved-Chil...

Some of his advice can be found on his website as well, but the book is much easier to follow and has more in it.

http://www.askdrsears.com/html/6/T060100.asp