Three-year-old with OCD?

anytime my son (2 1/2)does something like a new stage or something i think is wierd, i try not to over react and feed him with attention from it. if he sees he is getting a spark from you, that might intise him to want to do it more.
If you start to ignore the situation and after awhile he doesnt slow down then maybe look into other options?
good luck!

My daughter went through a very stressful similar situation from age 3-4. We spoke to both our pediatrician (whom I love!!!) and a family psycholigst he recommended. We also spoke with our daughter's pre-school teacher. I had also sufferred the recent death of my mother who was very close to me and my daughter. We were worried about OCD and I read many books about it. It was NOT OCD. OCD can become visible at this age but OCD can NOT be shut on and off. OCD occurs all the time and everywhere. My daughter only behaved like this at home, not at pre-school and not at friends' homes. Here is what happened and then what we did and now how my daughter is developing now.

During all this time her sleep at night had become disturbed and she was waking 4 or 5 times a night and I was bringing her in bed with me or laying down with her in her bed and going to comfort her constantly throughout the night. My daughter began to wash her hands constantly - to the point that her hands were rashy, dry and sore. She also would go into a huge tantrum fit if the paper torn from a pad was ripped or not straight or had an irregular edge. She also became enraged when she couldn't cut paper properly. She changed her panties 4-5 times a day and spent too much time wiping her bottom because she said her panties were always wet (even when bone dry). 20 or 30 times a day she would tell us she had peed a little bit. If she touched her bottom outside her clothes or shoes she wanted to wash her hands. She would become hysterical if her clothing got wet while washing her hands (but not if she was playing in water or outside in puddles).

We visited the pediatrician (my partner & I). He said it is normal at this age for handwashing to become over zealous. He told Trin to only wash with water after peeing, and to use bar soap, no liquid soap, after pooping or if hands were visibly dirty. Liquid soap can dry out hands. He told her to put lotion on her hands. He gave us the name of a family therapist if WE wanted to see someone but he was not worried. My partner & I felt that further parenting advice would be helpful for us because we were growing resentful of our wonderful daughter.

My Partner & I visited a family psychologist without our daughter per his suggestion. When we described all our concerns he told us that children have children's minds and at this age imagination increases substantially along with her fears. He told us that her sleep disturbances at night were most likely linked to all her other daytime issues. He said we must work to get her back to sleeping and falling back to sleep throught the night on her own. He said once she trusted herself to conquer her nighttime fears and worries; she would begin to conquer her fears & worries during the day. His advice was: tell her everynight that we love her no matter what she thinks, no matter what she says, and no matter how she behaves and that we will never leave her. He said to tell her that we would check on her in 5 minutes and continue to check every 5 minutes until she goes to sleep. If she wakes in the night, don't go immediately but rather let her try to comfort and settle herself, and if she needs us to do the 5 minute check again. Keep doing this while slowly extending the time of the checks (add a minute each night). Always go to a check even if you think she has fallen asleep until you know she is asleep for sure. Keep a sleep log. I also was told to go out during an evening and let my partner handle bedtime and return soon after bedtime so my daughter could see I was safely back. He also suggested removing some of the frustrations. We put the scissors away for awhile. We got a ream of copy paper and put the pad of drawing paper away for a time. We only let my daughter change her panties if she had an accident and told her that her clothes would dry and it was ok if her sleeves were wet. She still threw tantrums and got very frustrated and during these episodes I would just hold her tight, whisper she was ok and everything was alright and help her to calm down.

Now at 5 years old, our daughter is amazing. She is independent, caring, nurturing, strong, willful, curious, messy, and everything I could hope my child would be. We watch her brother for similar difficulties but who knows if he will have the same troubles. We look back now and barely remember that period of our life (and it was really only a few months); tantrums, exhaustions, arguments, bad feelings, sadness, frustration, and feelings of not knowing what to do. It seems like another world. But with the advice of our pediatrician, our daughter's pre-school teacher, and the family psychologist (whom we only visited once) we found the patience, tools, and understanding to help our daughter pass through this developmental stage. Good Luck, you can too!

Hi J.,

My three year old son also washes his hands frequently, but usually only when something is on them, they're sticky, etc. I think the fact that your little guy is waking at night and getting upset about it is something to take more seriously. I would call your pediatrician and possibly get a referral for a child psychologist. I would also suggest going with your gut instinct - you know your child. Does something not sit right with you about his behavior? If so, I would intervene early. Best of luck to you! Sometimes these things turn out to be just a phase.

This is a symptom of a problem. Call your pediatrician and if you don't have luck there, pursue other avenues.

Since it is very upsetting to him and disturbing his sleep, I would have to say that this is definitely a "red flag" of some kind.

My son who has Asperger's obsesses in similar ways at times. A few years ago, he insisted on taking three showers a day. At another period of time, he insisted on shaving his eyebrows. Always it had to do with "feeling clean".

It could be OCD...I would call your doctor and talk to him about it without your child in the room (you don't want to give him any ideas or feel like there is something "wrong" at this point.). Good luck

Yes J., call your pediatrician. They should be able to refer you if necessary to a qualified person to see if there are other underlying causes. Is there something new in his routine that is causing him to act out? Any new care giver? You are correct to be concerned. Always listen to that little voice that guides you. It is usually right. Good luck.

PLEASE do not just let it go and let him wash his hands. You'll be feeding the problem, and it does seem to be a problem starting (getting up in the middle of the night, getting upset over it). Report this to his pediatrician immediately and if the doctor blows it off, don't stop there!! Go to a child psychologist first b/c they will want to get into his mind (the psychiatrist- if need be- may seek to medicate him). I'm so glad that you are being a proactive parent and seeking help for your child. So many go without the proper help the need b/c parents are either too embarrassed or too ignorant. If it is early onset OCD, it's a disorder, NOT A "BAD" behavior and he shouldn't be punished, just like no one should be punished for having diabetes...
You take Care...
A.

I'd try to nip it in the bud as soon as possible. I have OCD. I had OCD tendencies when I was younger. No one noticed. It wasn't as widely diagnosed then. If anything the pediatrician can tell you if you are over-reacting. But I'd get it checked out.

I would call your doctor. There is a soap that leaves a dot and you wash until it is gone. Then he would know they are clean. I notice that my 3yr old. boy does what I do but to the extreme. So think about how it started and slowly change the behavior. Maybe give him a chart at breakfast and say he can wash his hands 4 times a day and that is it. When the chart is full~no more? Just an idea.
J.

Hi J.,

As a mom, I would definately go with your gut instinct and ask his doctor. If there is concern, you are better to get help as soon as you can. They might say to wait it out or make a referral to a therapist who deals with children with ocd.

Hi J.--I really feel for your little guy. It has only been a few days of this behavior, so there's a good chance this is just a blip. So don't be too worried, just be vigilant.
If it does continue, ask your doctor for a referral to a child psychiatrist who has experience with behavior modification for kids with compulsions. This specialist will be able to help you make a behavior modification plan, if needed. Caveat: I don't know anything about how this sort of thing is treated in children. I went thru this in my early 20s. It took some time, but I got past it.
If it does turn out to be a compulsive behavior, or even OCD, I believe it is absolutely possible to fix it. (And you sound like just the mom to help him do it, if needed, so keep your head up.) Good luck.

I'm pretty much just going to echo what most everyone else has been telling you. Definitely get your son to a counselor-probably a psychiatrist who might be able to prescribe something. I don't know what ages they can prescribe something for, but they can prescribe. Your son is getting no peace from whatever it is. So please don't think it's you over-reacting- he needs help!

And I hope you will tell us all that you did and especially how it went. Some of these things I know from experience!

By the way, is there anything else he seems like this about?
Counseling can work with medications. The medications may sound scary, but really, put that with counseling and I think you'll see some changes for the better.

J.,
You might ask your son what he thinks is on his hands that he feels he needs to wash off. Is he concerned about germs? Is he concerned about washing up after using the toilet. Perhaps you can engage him in conversation that will lead to a better understanding of why he feels this need to wash his hands so thoroughly. If that doesn't work or he doesn't know why he needs to do this I would run it by the pediatirician and get her/his advice.

Hi J.

First let me say i have not had this experience, nor am I psychologist. But i do know that OCD is not something you can turn on and turn off. If he's not doing at daycare and only at home maybe there is a reason. Maybe he is modeling someones behavior, or it could be he likes the attention he gets. I have a great pediatrician, and if i had a question like this i would definitely ask it. I hope your pediatrican is also a source of support. The only example i can give you is my son had a severe speech delay, and was involved in early intervention for a year and a half, then was is speech at a hospital for 7 months, I heard everything from autism, to apraxia, and we just kept working and took a wait and see stance and now my son is talking up a storm. There were certain things he would say, and different ways he would move his mouth that would concern me, but he would never do it for the therapist, I was completely frustrated, and my very wise, and kind therapist said if it is not consistent it is not a problem. I think for peace of mind it would be a good idea to talk to your pediatrican, but keep in mind that if he's not doing it other places, it may not really be a big issue.

GOOD LUCK.... being a mom sometimes can be so scary. Hang in there. Jenn

Hi J.,
My daughter who is 10 has a thing about washing her hands too. It is definitely an OCD type problem. Jenna's isn't as extreme as your sons, but extreme enough that her hands bleed, especially in the cold weather months. Her doctor just said for me to keep an eye on it and only allow her to wash her hands after the bathroom or before eating. I know that it bothers Jenna when her hands are rough, she thinks they are dirty. So her doctor told me to give her small tubes of lotion to keep in her bookbag or by her bed. This way if she has the urge to wash her hands she can put the lotion on instead. It has seemed to help, but like I said she still gets crazed sometimes. The other problem I found is at school they make them use the purel constantly which really makes her hands worse. So the doctor had to write a note to say that Jenna has to wash her hands and apply lotion not use purell. I hope this helps you out. I would definitely call your peditrician and get their advice too. Best of luck and let me know how you make out of if you may have other suggestions you can give me. J. D (age 35 proud mom of two girls ages 10 and 6, married for 13yrs.)

Not a similar experience but I have a son with ADHD/Asperger's/PDD who's grown. He didn't have those symptoms, but any behavior that disrupts normal life and/or that alarms you as a mother is cause for investigation. I'd make an appointment with my PCP or behavioral health care professional, however your insurance works. Most pediatric facilities also have at least a minor behaviorial capacity.

Dear J.,

Your husband is right. This isn't normal childhood behavior. He needs a counselor. Have you asked him why he feels that his hands are dirty? Maybe he saw an educational TV segment about germs that went into too much detail. But I have a bad feeling that it may be something deeper than that. Please listen to your husband and take your son to a counselor. The sooner he gets help, the less ingrained this behavior will be.

My sister has 3 dd with OCD. All of them began by exhibiting similar behavior to what you are now having and the average age was toddler. PLS don't wait, the sooner he gets help the less upset and out of control he will feel. He cannot stop even if he wants to. Her daughters are under psychiatric treatment. One of her daughters got to the point that she would not wear clothes because they felt dirty, itchy and hated the feel of her hair on her head. She would sob naked on her bed at the age of 4. There is treatment and trust your "mom instincts" rarely do they lead you astray. E.

There are worse things in this world than OCD and if you can remain calm, then that's the best beginning. My OCD is 16 and we've both survived. :) He's been misdiagnosed many times and has been in counseling ever since I can remember. The one thing that has always helped him is when I stay calm and behave like its all no big deal. OCDs are usually worriers and if I'm worrying too then he feels like he needs to escalate. Distraction is a good tool for a 3 yr old. At night let him wash just a bit then give him exagerated kisses, a bit of tickling and then its back to bed while he's still gleefully giggling. Keep interesting things to do around during the day with his hands so that he forgets whatever he was thinking about. Their toughts tend to cycle cycle cycle over and over so keeping busy with appropriate activities are good alternatives. And besides, he may NOT be OCD. Did you consider that he may have had a very bad dream -oh say from something he saw on TV? It comes back on him at night (like a night terror) and he remembers it during the day also. I do recommend counseling ...for you and your husband. They will tell you how wonderful your little boy really is, teach you how to be low key and accept, and give you some actions to take that will help you feel like you are doing your very best for him. FYI-I went so far as to get a degree in Psychology, nursing, and Geriatrics to find what was normal...only to find out that we already were. :)

aww. i no im not the parent, so its easier for me to say "aww." i think it maybe is just a stage. my daughter is just 15 months but she has an obsession with brushing her teeth and cant get enough of that. it does sound a bit strange with him waking up in the middle of the night though. maybe just tell him no if he wakes up in the middle of the night. that way he doesnt get in the habit of getting you up every night to wash his hands. it is a good quality to posess, cleanliness. maybe at bath time just keep reassuring him how clean he is and praise him for what a great job he has done getting him self so clean, and just remind him of that at bed time and tell him he must go back to sleep. (im sure you have already tried this and its easier said then done... when youre the one being woken up in the middle of the night) i would talk to your pediatrician too. i doubt its ocd at such a young age. some kids get obsessed with cars, books, blankies, ect.... yours just really likes hand washing right now. how are his hands from washing them so much? do you have to give him lotion or anything? have you tried hand sanitizer or something else to distract him? im interested to hear how your situation goes. please let me know! i hope you get something figured out at least so that your not having to get up at nights! good luck J.!

J.,
You should definitely tell your pediatrician and they will most likely refer you to a psychologist, if they don't go to one! Your son's behavior could be a number of things and I don't want to alarm you because it could be nothing, but if it is something like OCD or another disorder, the sooner he is diagnosed and can get help the better. Even if he is diagnosed with OCD or something else that presents itself that way, if he is treated early enough he could over come it. I wouldn't let too many people try to tell me it could be this or that, I would just go to my doctor right away. And in the meantime I think it's your call as to what you want to do when his behavior gets out of control, a psychologist will probably have suggestions or even make up a behavior plan for you to follow for the times his behavior does get out of control. Good luck with your son!

Hi J.! A child psychologist is a great option. There may be some underlying issues. Your son may be doing this to make up for lost time with you during the day if you're apart for a while but it sounds a little extreme so I would definitely look into it. Do you have any anxiety and or OCD in your family? If you see anything else in the anxiety area, put an application in to Cooper, duPont, CHOP behavioral health for him NOW b/c they tell you the wait time is 6-9 months to get an appointment. Remember though - the squeaky wheel gets the grease. Best Wises!

call your pediatrician right away - have them do a strep culture - sometimes in young children a strep infection can cause PANDAS - Pediatric Autoimmune Neuropsychiatric Disorders Associated with Streptococcal Infections - here is a link - http://intramural.nimh.nih.gov/pdn/web.htm

if it is PANDAS it is imperative that he be treated for the strep infection immediately -

i would be highly concerned since this is waking him up at night and how upset he is becoming - this interference in functioning is exactly how we (mental health providers) determine if behavior is maladaptive or not...it sounds like your little one needs some intervention -

if you need more information let me know.

K.:)

Both of my cousins had this same problem when they were little I think it was because of my aunt being a bit of a clean freak. Is there anything you could be saying about germs or dirt that may have made him scared of them. I would not give in and let him continue with this kids go through so many phases and eventually they forget about them and continue on to the next phase but if you let him continue the behavior it will only encourage his fixation with it. Try to change the subject and get him interested in something els if he won't go for and becomes demanding and throws a fit about it I would treat it just like any other discipline issue. Your word is what counts and he has to know you are in control and you know whats best for him and you will not let him do something that is not good for him no matter how strong he feels about it. Children take comfort in knowing there parents know whats best and if you give in he will be under the imppression he must be right. Good luck, it is so difficult when kids become so fixated on something and are so emotional about it, I know trying to get there my sons pascifiers away was quite a task.

When my brother & sister were younger they both suffered from OCD. My brother had handwashing issues just like your son. I don't remember all of the details b/c I was young too. However, I do remember he was washing his hands so often & so roughly that they bled. My mother took them both to a child psycologist (or psychiatrist - I'm not sure the difference between the 2). With in a year my brother no longer obsessed about washing his hands or anything else. (He is now a mechanic - talk about dirty hands).
Truthfully, OCD is not about hand washing. Its other issues. You should get your son professional help as soon as possible. Don't force him to stop hand washing (unless the psycologist tells you to) b/c then you will just make him feel ashamed about himself. This is a compulsion. He cannot control this need. The pyscologist will teach him how to control this and any other OCD related habits he would develop later. If you deal with this properly now, then it can be a phase that he doesn't even remember when he gets older. If you don't get him help now...it will continue for years to come, the hand washing may stop, but he will replace it with something else.
Please don't let this post scare you. THis is easily treatable by a professional.
I think my brother was around 7 when this happened to him. He told my mom he didn't want to be washing his hands, but he couldn't stop himself. Your son is probably too young to communicate this feeling to you, but he's probably feeling that way too.
I'm sorry this was so long, but I remember the emotional relief my family felt when my brother no longer needed to wash his hands repeatedly.