Help! in Need of Tips of How to Night Wean/reduce Night Waking in a 15 M/o.

Sounds like you are on the right path! I just read a chapter in the No-Cry Sleep Solution about night weaning and that's pretty much what she suggested. Good luck!!!

Hello A....I have been where you are right now, but as I recall ( My "Baby is 25 so some of the details have blurred!!!) I was not nursing at the time. She would wake up every 2 hours or so and just want me to come in and rock her back to sleep!!! Of course I was a zombie all day long. My solution came from a fantastic book called Solve Your Childs Sleep Problems by Richard Ferber. http://www.amazon.com/Solve-Your-Childs-Sleep-Problems/dp... . It took 3 nights to get her convinced, but it wasn't as traumatic as I thought it would be.
The basic idea is that you do NOT interact with her after you put her to bed. If she is wet...you change her diaper there in her crib, you give her whatever comfort item she has in her crib and you leave the room again. No talking, no picking up, no back rubs. I can't remember the exact time that you begin by letting her fuss...but you lengthen it a little each time before returning to the room. It really does work and the reward is a good nights sleep for everyone!!
R. Ann

Firstly, congratulations for breastfeeding so long! I'm approaching a year and boy am I ready to be done with it. (smile)

My 1 year old has just started sleeping through the night and I can't pinpoint exactly what made it happen. Although there were a few things that I know happened, so maybe it's a combination of them?

I was concerned about her learning to fall asleep on her own (she always fell asleep at the breast) and I tried a modified version of the Ferber method...and it worked.
Instead of letting her cry for 10 minutes before I went in, I waited 1 minute and then went in, hugged her while she was in her crib and whispered "It's Ok, I love you." and then laid her back down and left the room immediately. I waited another minute and then went in. After a few times of this, I waited 2 minutes. The first night took me 20 minutes of this back and forth. 2nd night took me about 15 and then then 3rd night took 4 minutes.

So, when she woke in the night for her regular nursing, I just applied the same method --> hug while in the crib, say the comforting words, and then lay her down. It worked like a charm with no crying in the middle of the night. She now expects not to be picked up and nursed, but instead hugged and re-assured. Within a week or so of her waking in the night for a 'hug down', she outgrew it and started sleeping from 8pm til 7 am.

One other thing that I found to be REALLY important in getting her to sleep through the night is to spend a lot of quality one-on-one time with her before bed. Light, silly games with a lot of eye contact, hugs, etc.
Perhaps having hubby do the bedtime routine is contributing to her waking at this point (e.g. "Where's mommy/boob?) I suggest that you both do the bedtime routine together and also try just with you doing it to see if it makes a difference. Or have hubby do the bath stuff and then hand her over to you for the silly games/bonding.

The nights that I don't take the time to play with her, I noticed that she awoke in the night perhaps seperation anxiety related.

Let us know how it goes.

It sounds to me like she is waking up at night out of habit rather than out of a need to nurse. I actually weaned my son from night-time feedings (I nursed until 13 months) at around 6 1/2 months because it seemed to be a habit--he didn't nurse that long and it seemed different from his day-time feedings. I simply stopped going in when he woke, and he would go back to sleep on his own. Since your daughter is older and probably more aware of this routine, it may be a struggle for a few nights, but if you stick with it she'll get used to the new routine and it will become the new normal for her. Best of luck to you!

Bedtime nursing in the hardest to let go and you've acutally have already deleted the hardest one IMO.

What I did for the the others is each not I reduced the amount of time by one minuted until we no longer needed to nurse. Hope this helps.

Your child is way too old to be nursing at night - and I'm sure she will fight it because it's a habit she enjoys. But she does not NEED to eat at night. Unfortunately, your only way out of this is to listen to some crying and screaming.

Keep in mind that even if you aren't going in to nurse - if you DO always go in when she wakes up, you will wake her up MORE and reinforce the idea that waking up at night is a great idea. If you want her to sleep longer than 6 hours at a stretch (and you should, if for no other reason that it's good for her brain development!) then you will have to stop going in at night.

YOU are reinforcing the night-waking habit. It's all in your hands. As she gets older, she will try all kinds of tricks keep you up at night - and/or to make bedtime difficult. I went through this with my first child and now I know when a kid just needs to go to sleep. No excuses!

I don't mean to sound harsh. But a child is never going to say "Oh, now that you explain it, it sounds perfectly reasonable. Thank you, Mother. I will happily go to sleep on my own now!" If you don't take control, you will soon have a 2-year old making your life hell. Good luck!

Something that can be difficult to learn as a parent is how to companion and guide a child rather than trying to control and manipulate them. It isn't that we don't set clear boundaries and take control when necessary, or, do not make wise use of encouraging manipulations. Rather it is knowing when to let the child have the lead and how to guide them as they develop and explore.

In my experience, bed time nursing is the last one to go. By challanging the nursing time that children tend to cling to the longest, the child is more likely to feel challanged and might be more likely to wake up desiring to nurse through the night. At 15 months, my son wanted to nurse day and night, but by the time he was 17 months he only nursed to go to sleep and slept through the night. The trick is to wait until their biological clock is ready and understand how to read the signs. You might want to contact the Le Leche League for some suggestions.

The sign that told me my son was ready to wean was at 19 months. On an unusual day I took a shower in the early afternoon and put on my night gown just to get from the bathroom to the bedroom to change. I was surprised that my son came running up to me to nurse in the middle of the day. He hadn't done that for a couple of months. Then I realized that my night gown triggered it. I stopped and nursed him for just a minute and he realized that he did not want to go to sleep, so he stopped. That night, I slept in some comfortable dayware. He never asked to nurse. So, I slept in dayware for 2 weeks and he never asked to nurse again.

The point is that I watched for signs of his development rather than trying to set a developmental schedule for him. When we try to manipulate them into progress before they are ready, they tend to dig in their heals and the whole thing becomes a struggle. If a child feels deprived, they become all the more clingy and their behavior will express signs of feeling needy.

My nephew weaned at 22 months. At 20 months his mother asked the pediatrician when the child would wean naturally. The doctor smiled and said, "Don't worry. He won't take them to college with him." I know that sounds easy for a male doctor to say when he isn't living the life of an on-call feeding trough, but his intention was to encourage the mother to not let herself become anxious about it. From experience with so many mothers, he knew that if a child picks up on Mom's anxiety, they feel challenged and the situation then becomes problematic.

Hope this is some help to you.

The only way I could night wean my son was to let my husband go put him back to bed in the middle of the night. He soon learned that I wouldn't be coming, and he would go back to bed without a fight. Sorry to tell you though, after night weaning he did still wake up at least 2 times per night for a few more months. He is 17 months now and finally sleeps through the night! Thank god!! I thought the day would never come. You basically need to go cold turkey on the night feedings. It is only fair to your daughter. If your husband does the first waking, then you nurse her the second your daughter will get confused. And she'll never understand why she gets to nurse sometimes and not others. Night weaning was the best thing we have done to help our sleep situation! Good luck! It will all work out.

A. -

You have a lot of good advice here. My first child is not as old as yours, but I have been doing some reading on weaning as I'll be approaching that time soon enough (bitter sweet, but I am looking forward to a longer leash :) ).

Sending Dad in is what we did when we cut out the nighttime nursings and it seemed to work really well. Since yours is older, a cup/tippy cup/bottle of water might be good to have on hand initially. Changing up your daytime routine for naps too, might help, so that she doesn't equate nursing with sleep.

Hope this helps and good luck!
J

Sounds similar to my situation. My daughter is now 2, but I stopped nursing her to bed at night around 12 months and stopped nursing around 13 months. What I did was started giving her a sippy cup of milk before bedtime - while we were reading books, etc. If she woke at night, we originally sent my husband in to respond for the first week. She did cry loudly at first, but it worked. He would rock her and get her calmed down and back to sleep. AFter that first week, she was fine not nursing everytime she woke up. Also, have you tried a sound/noise machine? I've heard those help some kids sleep better and longer.

Well, she definitely doesn't need the nursing in the middle of the night (nutritionally speaking). She is using it as a way to go back to sleep and everytime you do that it reinforces it. You definitely will have some bad nights but they will probably end quicker than you think. Have you ever just not gone in there in the middle of the night - does she cry long? It is normal for them to wake during the night but they need to get themselves back to sleep. I have a 16 month old and she has been sleeping through the night since she was about 11 months old (I nursed her until she was 1 but quit the nighttime feedings around 6 months). You might also want to try to lay her down for her naps and quit walking her to sleep. She needs to learn how to go to sleep on her own. Like I said, you may have a couple of bad nights but she will figure it out and sleep. Not sure if you are talking to her etc... when you go in at night but the best thing is is to just pat her and leave. I know it's hard - GOOD LUCK!

My daughter had 12 teeth at 1-year, 6 top center, 6 bottom center. Weening her was easy. She bit me (hard) and that was it. No more booby, Baby! I still pumped for a couple of weeks, mostly to relieve the pressure of engorgement. From the time she bit me she's received all liquids from a bottle or a sippy cup. I gave (and still give) my daughter a bottle of milk before bedtime. I also introduced her to a pacifier, much to her father's chagrin. She'd never wanted or used a pacifier before that, but it was the only thing that helped her (and us) sleep through the night.
It's been suggested that if you give your baby something a little more substantial, like cereal, before bed, he/she will sleep better and longer at night time. I've never tried it, but I've seen a lot responses on this site with that advice. I got lucky because as soon as we cut her down to 1 nap per day, she started sleeping 7-9 hours per night. We did keep moving her bedtime later. At 21-months, her bedtime is between 9:30 and 10. She wakes up between 6:30 and 7:30. Many people have told me that I should put her to bed earlier, but frankly, I don't want to get up with the sun.

You might try introducing your baby to a pacifier at bedtime. Would moving her bedtime to later be something that could help? Oh, and congratulations on your Christmas miracle.

Good luck!

I weaned my son from breastfeeding when he was 11 months old. Before I weaned him, he would always wake up at least once at night and want to nurse. We weaned cold turkey because it was our best option with his personality. After we weaned from breastfeeding he slept through the night. Hope this helps!

I am struggling with the same thing with my 14 month old. I just started putting him him in his own bed. A toddler bed since he can climb out of a crib. He keeps getting up and coming to my room. I pick him up and take him back to his bed. He screams for bobo. I end up giving in to get some sleep. Plus if i don't my two five year olds will be up complaining. the lady that left the first answer sounds good to me.

What I did to ween my son 16 1/2mths later, he is now 3. I would give him a sippy cup of milk and a snack and play with him to keep his mind of of the feeding for that time. The only one he did for the longest time was nurse at nite before bed. Not sure how u would go about weening the waking in the middle of the nite, guess give her a sippy of water or milk.

Stop going in her room at night. She needs to learn to put herself to sleep. During the day and at night. You might have to listen to some crying but it only takes up to 3 days to break a habit. You have to take charge and be consistent.