HELP!!! I Have a Screamer!

I had the same exact problem when my daughter was 9 months old (she is now 18 months). The only thing that I would do is tell her to stop (sternly) and keep on it. Everytime she screams I would tell her to "stop screaming" in a very stern sometimes loud voice....at that point I had had enough and she has now grown out of it. She still screams when shes excited but its just one yelp and she quits. I know the exact screeching, ear piercing scream that you are describing and take it from me, also a mom thats 25 and is a first time mom, that it will pass but it seems like forever!

Hi L., it is funny that you are having this problem. I just went thru it with my daughter. She started screaming one day when she was very ill and had to go to the hospital with a fever of 104.1. When it first started I thought I would just ignore it and not make a big deal about it and maybe she will stop. Well she continues to do it for several months. This is what I did to get her to stop. I tapped her in her mouth. Not real hard like a big slap but just enough to get her attention. After the 3rd or 4th time she stopped doing it. I believe in time out but there are some things that time out just doesn't work. I hope you find what works for your son.

If it is not a medical problem....ear ache, etc. Here is a website I found to help. http://ths.gardenweb.com/forums/load/parinf/msg0120192830...

GOOD LUCK!! :) S.

I would say the car noise or lack of noise could be bothering him and I would also make sure your muffler and exhaust system is in proper working order.

Think about it though, he's getting more used to you coming to him when he makes noise but there you can't. I made up a song and sang it at the top of my lungs when my youngest was this way. Something for just him and even his brother would sing along.

Hi! I don't have any current info if this advice is ok anymore or not (my mom said my older sis who's now 36 used to scream until she quit breathing), but her doc had her keep a little water gun and whenever she started up to just give her a little squirt in the face. Sounds mean, but in the long run she never passed out from lack of breath and after a while she did quit.

I am not trying to scare you, because what I am about to tell you is RARE, but immediately when I read this I was reminded of a story from my husband's childhood. A bunch of their family members went on a trip together, and his cousin, who had not yet turned 2, screamed the entire 20-hour drive and back. Everyone was annoyed and just thought he didn't like riding in the car. Not long after, it was discovered that the little boy was almost completely deaf, and that the screaming was the only way he could hear himself. I am sure you would have noticed by now if your little boy wasn't responding to noises, but I thought I'd throw that out there. As for ways to make it stop, if it's just regular old screaming, which it sounds like it is, I have no idea! My son did the same thing for about a week when he was 1 and just quit one day.
Good luck!
T.

Oh L.,
I am so sorry to say that I couldn't help but giggle while reading your post. I have five children....and each and every one of them is different beyond belief. Right now, my two little boys, ages 2 and 4 are trying the same kinds of tactics with me. The only thing I can tell you is to watch out with that young little screamer of yours. He is brilliant beyond his years :) I do not know of any way you can get him to stop........but that does not mean there is not a way. I just have not found an effective way to contain a 9 month old baby. Unfortunately, if he gets a reaction......and I mean ANY type of reaction, it will reinforce the behavior. So, while you may be able to ignore him for a few days (which is probably how long it would take), noone else will be able to do so. They will try.........but little reactions will escape them. I am not trying to make you lose hope........I am just saying that I wouldn't really "try to make him stop," at all. I think it is just a phase, and one day, he will find some other way to get a reaction, and hopefully stop.

That being said......if anyone else has any reasonable suggestions......I am all ears. I am always up for learning new parenting skills :)

I just had to laugh at the squirt bottle advice, but I don't know if I could bring myself to do it. My daughter did the same thing, probably at about the same age. She is 16 months now, and hasn't done it it quite a while. I think we just tried to ignore it, the less you respond the less they get out of it, but she probably just outgrew it on her own for the most part. Something I did with my son when he was having temper tantrums at a young age was just pick him up and put him in his crib, as soon as it started and without saying anything. That way he was in a safe place and he was getting NO attention for the behavior. Most of the stuff they do is because they are getting a reaction out of you, so if you take them away from the source of attention there is no reason to continue. It's just no fun if there's no one to watch! Good luck!

Short and simple, the reason he does this is because:

1. He gets a reaction...and sometimes the car swerves around like an amusment park ride! FUN!

2. It is his version of a tantrum. It gets him immediate attention, even when you think you're ignoring him...he knows that you are disconcerted by his screech. Little ones are quick to pick up on body language.

So what to do? Well, I hate to be redundant, but I suggest that you use the same technique I have recommended to several parents to stop tantrums (and it works!!!). Don't be afraid of the unconventional! This technique has been handed down a few generations in my family.

First: Get a few small plastic cups and put about 3-4oz (half way full) of water in each of them. Put them in the fridge to get nice and cold.

Second: When you adorable angel busts out with a scream go immediately to the fridge and get one of those nice cold cups of water. Don't let him see it! Hide it behind your back.

Third: Quickly walk up to him and dash the water in his face. I guarantee he will stop screaming in shock. HIDE THE CUP behind your back again!!! He should NEVER know where this cold-water shocker comes from!

Fourth: He might start crying. IT'S OKAY! Let him. Go and get a towel and clean him up, but NEVER explain what happened. Take your time getting the towel so that the full implication of what happened can sink in. Don't talk to him or coddle him too much. He should only associate his scream with the sudden shock caused by the water. This needs absolutely no explanation and will only confuse the situation if you try.

So, to break it down Barney-style: Cold water in the fridge. Kid screams. Get water without him seeing. Dash it in his face. Cup is NEVER seen. Comfort him and dry him off. No talking about the water or telling him "now don't scream anymore." Hugs and love. Repeat when necessary.

Rules: The idea here is to get him to understand that his screaming will have a VERY negative reaction. It might take only once for him to understand this, and it might take a few more times. It depends upon your child's temperment. Either way, it won't take long at all for him to put two-and-two together and realize that every time he belts out a scream he ends up with cold water in his face.

So the main rules are: NEVER threaten the water after he has screamed. Dont' say "If you scream again, I'm going to get the water!" It should come seemingly out of nowhere and he should never have cause to be afraid of you due to the fact that he won't understand where it came from.

And again, never let him see that cup.

After the water has been thrown in his face, never explain what happened. Act like it NEVER happened. Just get a towel and clean him up and tell him "uh oh! Okay, stop crying. You're okay!"

Finally, DON'T FEEL GUILTY! It freaks some moms out when they see the look on their little one's face after they get that water in their face (honestly I had to stifle a laugh!). Just remember....this WORKS! And it doesn't hurt him in any way.

Give it a try...and if you have any questions please contact me!

Hi! I would like to offer some advice. But I would like to point out first that in the infancy stage they don't know the true meaning of no. So I don't think telling him no will help as much as he would hear the negative tone in your voice. Which in that aspect if you said yes in a negative tone you should end up with the same reaction hypothetically. But I would offer that many things amuse them. Any new capabilities are a fascination. So he could easily be amuzed at how high he yells. Maybe he's bored and just does it to have something to do. (the car rides especially can be boring) So unless you know of stuff that your particular child has to keep him occupied in the car, or perhaps, try singing when he does it and maybe he'll enjoy it and try to dance or clap or something. After my fourth child I've come to realize what all the advice about replacing one behavior with another means. However, I will say it's not 100% effective everytime. But when you try to do this it does help a lot. If he's screaming try giving him a toy, just start reading a book out loud and see if he quiets down and comes to sit and listen, start dancing in sight of him but not next to him this may have him come to you to join in, just any ideas that come to you. So just a shot, but I would say he's bored a lot. And being that young their attention spans are SO short. They easily lose interest in one thing and move on to the next.

Interesting suggestions. I have the same problem. My son likes to scream as well. It is embarrassing when he does it in a restaurant or places that he needs to be quiet. I am not sure what step I am going to take as well. I am not sure if I could to the point where I squirt him in the face.

hi L., well first im gonna ask its not because of being hungry, tired, bored, needa a drink, needs a diaper change or any of the other things that might be the problem ? and next is it possible to tell him "no" when he starts you will probably have to scream for him to hear you or put him in his room if you are at home ? sorry not much help, never had this problem. W. mom of 4

My daughter was a screamer. We quickly stopped that and temper tantrums by using the bad kitty squirt bottle! :-) We carried a small spray bottle around to squirt the Siamese when he got on the table, counters, or climbed the curtains. One day I was at my wit's end with my daughter's screaming, and I squirted her right in the face and said no like I did with the cat! She was startled and stopped immediately. We only had to do it a few more times and that was the end of the screaming. We only said no very clearly when we squirted her, and didn't explain or have any discussion with her. It keeps your blood pressure down and you aren't yelling. Hope this helps!

According to my family I was the loudest kid that has ever been around! I was a screamer...now my sister has a 10 month old who is one also. The main problem with getting her to stop is unfortunately...my mom. She watches her frequently and allows her to be as loud as she wants, always saying, well E. did that! I think it reminds her of how I used to be and she loves that. My daughter is 5 months and she only gets loud if her teeth are bothering her. But I worry about her doing the same thing. My sister always tells her,ALEXIS, STOP! And she usually does. If there is anyone allowing this to contine for any reason, ask them nicely to treat the situation exactly the same.

L.,
I know this works with older kiddos, but not sure about one as young as yours....Whispering...Make sure you are in their "viewing" area or right in their face when you do it. It has worked great with my almost 3 year old when she is mad!
Best of luck!
S.