Help, Help, Help - Tiffin,OH

Just wondering, have you asked him if there is something he wants to change about his bedroom? Could there be something in there that at night looks scary to him?

what doesn't he like about his bed? make sure its up against the wall... maybe line the wall w/pillows like a couch? is the living room better lit? my 4 yr old is now scared of the dark and wants the lights on and the music blasting (no idea how he sleeps but he does)... or is he sleep walking? just for sanity we have hook/chain locks at the very tops of our doors (going outside) that he can't reach.

Put a safety lock on the front and back doors for this, and perhaps a baby gate as well at the end of the hallway so he can go to the potty. make sure you leave a good nightlight on in his room, and in the hallway or near the couch.

Actually, I did this very same thing, every night, I woke up on my special chair in the living room. My parents stressed about it as well and carried me back to bed, but I kept going back, they ended up just letting me do it since i wasn't doing anything else.

I agree-chain lock up high where he can't reach it & let him sleep on the couch. Everyone will be happier.....it might just be a phase.

Are you sure that he isn't sleep walking? It wouldn't be unhead of. My parents used to find me curled up at the top of the basement stairs. Add a chain or hook and eye lock to the top of the door and let everyone get some sleep.

here is some great info on "staying in bed technique" from super nanny

“The first time he gets up, remind him that it’s bedtime, lead him back to bed, give him a kiss and a cuddle, and leave the bedroom.
The second time, do the same but use a firmer voice and make the kiss and cuddle brief.
The third and any subsequent times, say nothing at all as you lead him back to bed, tuck him in, and leave the room. This is the hard part, and it’s very tempting to give a cuddle.

Remember that a gentle, consistent approach will convince your child that you’re there for him, but that you insist he sleep in his own bed.

please refer to the site for more info:
http://www.supernanny.com/Advice/-/Supernanny-techniques/...

good luck!

honestly, my son did the same thing for about a year. I even broke every rule I had about kids and tv's and got one for his room because I was lost as to what else to try. He still slept on the couch. If it's a control issue, let it go, he will outgrow it and go back to his room, I to this day hate my kids sleeping anywhere but their beds, but really, if they are sleeping, does it rally matter? If however it is a safety issue, like if the living room is downstairs ect. and you can't easily fix the problem (my kitchen is gated off even now and my baby, well until the new one comes in December is 7) then the idea of gating off the hallway so he can't go anywhere but the bathroom is a great idea. We did this when my first born was very young, you could even actually install a gate in his bedroom doorway, they make gates that are solid and harder to climb over than some others and that swing open and install with hardware rather than the pressure gates.

I would not carry that child back to bed. I'd take him by the arm and march him back to bed. I'd say nothing. I'd do it as many times as it took.
That said, did you ask him why he does this? Does he need his own flashlight to feel comfortable in his room? Or is this a power play??
I'd also make a list of rules and post it. The number 2 rule would be: family members MUST sleep in their OWN beds.
Then, I'd remind him of that rule many times during the day. I'd also remind him that it is a safety issue.
LBC

Sounds to me like we are dealing with the same stuff. I have a 5 year old and a 10 month old. We came to realize that our 5 yo gets jealous, and loves the negative attention. It's so annoying. But, we have made an effort to resolve it and it is better. But, let me tell you, until we realized that was the root issue, we took away toys, spanked, yelled, and pretty much frustrated ourselves silly. She didn't care either, nothing we did to MAKE her stop behaving badly worked. We finally agreed that we would stop the way we were reacting (cuz it wasn't working) and try to spend more time with our first born. At first, it was hard because she was such a brat and I admittedly resented treating her "special", but now she's noticeably happier and I remember that she is special.
They share a room and big sis would cry loudly and protest going to bed every night. She was up out of bed with excuses, throwing tantrums, screaming, waking her lil sis up. I wanted to pull my hair out. So, I started putting lil sis to bed first. Then, we started spending time with big sis. For about 30 minutes we usually talk about stuff (random 5 year old stuff) in the living room. She loves that mom and dad are paying all attention to her asking about her day or planning the weekend with her input. Then, I read from her library book. (I forgot to mention that I picked going to the library as a big sis only event. So reading from that book reinforces that special event.) After, she goes to bed without any fuss. Life is better. ;) Good luck with both of your babies.

Did something happen in his bed/or near his bed? A spider? I know people think this is horrible, but have you travelled (i.e. stayed in a hotel) bed bugs bite.....check his mattress. Our daughter (well, she's at college went back & the sorority bed had bed bugs! Not only that, she brought them home-they like to travel)....Ask him-what happened? Did he potty the bed, and doesn't like the smell? Is he afraid of the dark? Would he like a bed tent (i've seen them advertised). Is there a tree outside his window? Is he afraid someone will come & get him from his bed? Put an alarm on his window, or in our case we put wooden window shutters with latches and an alarm) we lived in CA when Polly disappeared from her home. Possibly get alarms for the house? Try a sleeping bag on the floor of his room? Or yours, at the bottom of your bed (we did this for years-kept a couple rolled up in bench (at bottom of our bed) and sometimes you would hear the bag being unrolled, sometimes not....But, there they'd be in the morning. Just make certain to check when you get out of bed! Something happened, or maybe someone told a story to him? Or a TV show? Ask. Then, just give him alternatives, the sleeping bag did wonders for our wandering night owls...

Hello. This sounds like a stressful time for everyone. It sounds like your son just misses having company. Have you considered making a pallet for him on the floor in your room? My husband and I have had children in and out of our room for 10 years, our sons are 11, 9 and 6, and the only way we could sleep through the night and not be crowded out of our own bed was by allowing the children to bring sleeping bags and pillows and sleep on the floor. Eventually, they stop roaming and will stay in their own beds. We have not had company in about a year.

At a little over 3 years old, my grandson started overnighting at my house, where he sleeps on the couch adjoining our kitchen. It's not a baby-proofed room because he's not a baby anymore. The first time he stayed over, I casually asked him what he would do in certain situations – what if he sees a delicate trinket he wants to hold? Or notices a sharp knife or scissors within reach? I was convinced that he understands basic safety rules, what to do if he has to pee during the night, whether it's wise to open the front door, how to call loudly enough for comfort if he has a nightmare, etc.

Is it possible that your worries are excessive, or a screen for a closer-to-the-heart issue of control or letting loose of your son as he grows more mature? You might want to consider your son's needs as he perceives them. This may not be a battle worth fighting, and he may deeply appreciate your exploring his desire to sleep on the couch as a reasonable option.

I sleep on my couch myself for half of some nights – I can actually make myself more comfortable than in my bed. If adults get to make such reasonable choices, might they not be as reasonable for a child?

I would suggest making his room safe and turning the lock around on his door. As long as his room is safe, he will be fine. Hopefully he will try the door and go back to bed. Or consider a baby gate in his door.
Good luck!

we put up a gate between the hallway and the rest of the house, so the only rooms available to our daughter if she decides to get out of bed are the bathroom to potty and our room. It works out pretty well.