Help Getting 5 Yr Old and 15 Month Old to Sleep in Their OWN BEDS

I knew as soon as I read the last post that it was Cheryl without even reading the name, lol.
Of course it's your fault, but don't let it get you down. There's nothing wrong with teaching a baby that you are there for her! A few weeks ago someone else asked about CIO and was told it was harder on you than on the baby. I like to compare it to an adult situation. Let's say your husband said one night "I'm leaving" and tried to explain why using mostly French. You caught a few words, mostly they were "...love you...sleep...night..." Then he walks out leaving you to cry yourself to sleep. You don't have any concept of time because you can't read a clock and all you know is that you are alone when you usually aren't, you're cold when you usually have someone to snuggle with...You call his cell phone over and over but he just won't answer. Who do you really think it's harder on? You or him? This is how your baby sees it except being 15 months old, she hasn't had time to build up years of trust like in your marriage.
The point is, cold turkey is never a good way to do anything and that's what the CIO method is, sudden deprivation for a little being who just doesn't get why.
So, take a few nights, maybe over a weekend when you don't have as much to do during the day. You and hubby take Friday off and start Thursday night. Put her down and when she wakes up, once of you go in, pick her up to settle her, as soon as she's not drying, put her down, pat her back for a bit to make sure she's not screaming again and leave. If she cries, give her 5 or 10 minutes and go back in to repeat. It can be exhausting, but it works for the moms I know who have tried it.
Just as many people will say CIO works as will say it doesn't work, so if you want to go that way, go ahead and try, but it's not the mirracle cure that believers tout it to be. It also works much better from the beginning than all of a sudden at 15 months. So, if you had been able to let her scream when she was 2 months, it might work now, but you have taught her (rightfully, in my opinion) that you will be there when she needs you and that's hard to unteach.
A few good books on the subject:
"The Baby Whisperer"
"The No-Cry Sleep Solution" (for babies)
"The No-Cry Sleep Solution for Toddlers and Preschoolers"
"The Sleep Book" (Dr. Sears)

Good Luck!

People who say tough, cry it out, go to bed, I'm going to just abandon you and change everything you've learned about going to sleep...oh wait that last part is me! Girl, I am where you are and it's not such a bad place...you get them to their own bed and then will miss the cuddling! :) For your 5 year old, chuck e cheese's website has some great reward posters...sleep in your bed for 2 weeks and get 14 tokens. We tried that and also a new toy for 10 days (( of course, once she did the 10 days the very next night she brushed her teeth and headed into our bed "oh yeah, I did my time" HAHA ROTFL!! Smart 4 year old! I think it's a gradual learning process. Sometimes she sleeps in her bed for a week, then back with us. The 15 month old will probably be a more traditional transition and easier..but you can reason (and bribe) a 5 year old. Good luck and hang in there!

Oh boy, do I know what you are going through! My sister had this problem with her son (who is now 12 and STILL can not go to sleep unless she is lying down next to him).

With your 15 month old, it's not too late to change those habits - as hard as it is, let her cry it out. She WILL eventually fall asleep, even if it takes 3 hours of screaming her head off (and you going through a bottle of wine to get through it!).

With your 5 year old, the best recommendation I can give is some sort of reward system. I like the idea someone had of Chuckee Cheese. The reward system will get your child to pay attention to you while you are trying to teach him a very valuable lesson. Good luck!

I co-slept with my son who is now almost 3. When I was pregnant with my daughter, I started transitioning him to sleeping by himself in his own bed. He now is mostly in his own bed but does come to our room for snuggles first thing in the morning. This is how we did it:
Cuddle and read in his bed. Lay with him rubbing his back or feet until he falls asleep. Leave. Repeat when he wakes up and calls for us. Some nights I would fall asleep in his bed with him. Eventually (over several days or weeks) he called for us less often. Now, we cuddle and read and talk about our day then give him a hug and kiss and leave. He does have a stuffed dinosaur to snuggle. I have found that as long as he's sure we're nearby, he is comfortable. We have an open door policy, too, so he can always come in our room if he has to. I just find that if he goes to sleep happy and feeling secure, he's a lot less likely to wake up and need someone.

I did the same with my 4 1/2 year old - she slept with us from the beginning. She is now finally doing better sleeping on her own. Here is how we started ...we made a bed on our floor for her and let her sleep there. If she falls asleep on her own she gets a reward in the morning ( a book, small toy, etc) We give her a lot of praise and let her know what a big girl she is. We eventually got her to do this in her own bed but she would wake up and come into our room - we didn't fight her just firm on having her crawl into the little bed next to ours. It just seemed to me that fighting it and trying to force it left her more frightened, increased her insecurity and no one got any sleep. It is a slow process but I do believe worth it and worth it to have given our child the security and confidence of knowing that we will always answer her cries and we will always be there for her, including setting limits such as the little bed.
We also started using a star chart that each time she goes to sleep on her own she gets a star and two stars if she stays in her bed or in the little bed all night . These can be added up for an exciting prize. As a MSW I can also see how this has taught her to set goals for herself and make her way to them....patience. I also noted this week that bedtimes were harder if I had not given her good quality one on one time during the day...when I did this things went much smoother at night. Good Luck!

I can't imagine one good reason for letting a 15-month-old cry it out, much less for something as silly as where they sleep. Who cares? Put a pallet next to your bed for a while. She wants to know you're there and why is it so terrible to let her know that? Eventually she will want to sleep in her own bed; it will be a privacy or territorial, grown-up thing. Plenty of time for that. I don't get all the fuss our (American, Western) society makes about kids sleeping in their own rooms/beds. What we need is sleep. It's not important where or with whom.

My son was premature and had a monitor when he came home from the hospital so I know what you mean about wanting to keep them close. However, at about 8 months old, we decided we were all better off in our own beds. I read on Pampers Parentpages that I should put him in his crib and sit in a chair next to the crib and keep telling him he was ok and he could fall asleep. Each night, move the chair closer to the door. This was supposed to ease his fear - I was still with him but not actually "holding" him or "next to" him. I did not follow the rules to the letter. It took me about two weeks before I was able to put him in bed and walk out of the room. He would cry for about five minutes and then he fall sleep. Of course, I stood right outside the door until I was sure he was asleep. Something about leaving him made me feel horrible but alas, he was ok and it did work.

L. let her scream it out and tell your 5yr old he has to sleep in his own bed and if he can't fall asleep he will be up all night and be tired tommorrow plus you are sure all his friend sleep in their own big boy beds. If he is in his own bed he will eventually fall asleep. If he starts BUT,BUT,or gets back up.Put him back to bed. You have created a big problem and it will take time to undo. Be Patient and Consistant.