Help for a Working Mom

Hello,

I am a first time mom of twins 10 1/2 months old. Both my husband and I work full time. I felt the same way as you and sometimes still do. But what has helped me was to cook dinner a day ahead. All I have to do is heat the food when I get home and when the kids are sleeping I cook for the next day. I also set mini goals for myself each night. For example today I set a goal to do two load of laundry and clean the bathroom. Tomorrow I may do one load of laundry and clean the Kitchen counters. I still take the kids on a walk when I get home feed then and bath them. It can be done, just do not think about all the things that need to be done. Just the things you set as goals for the night. I found this has really helped me and I am not too hard on myself anymore.

Good Luck.

Working plus being a mom to a little one is literally doing 2 full time jobs. I've been home most of the time since my second was born (with some very small part time jobs) but it's my opinion that if you have to be a mom PLUS work then you should be hiring help for things like housecleaning and yardwork, and Catherine C. has a good idea about a company that provides prepared meals, I think it's called Dream Dinners or something like that. One person CAN'T do it all!!!

(Oh and look, there's Catherine C.'s advice below.)

And also -- with Clorox Clean-Ups (little cleaning wipes) you can do a pretty decent 5 minute cleaning, especially in bathrooms.

Hello D.,
I have a 1 year old daughter, a dog to walk, a husband that works 50 hours a week and commutes 45 minutes each way and I work 40 hours a week. The first thing I learned is don't worry about how clean your house is. You baby is going to be 1 before you know it, enjoy him and don't worry about the house too much. It gets easier and you will get more done as he gets older. I'm trying to think back to when my daughter was 5 months old, not sleeping through the night and didn't spend very long playing with toys herself, but I think I may have blocked out those exhausted days, so here is how it works for me now.
My husband and I have set things that we do. I'm the type of person who needs rules, so to speak. I have Sat and Sun off and my husband has Tue and Wed off. I don't see him Thur, Fri or Sat, and he comes home after our daughter is in bed on Sundays. Over the weekend I do 1-2 loads of laundry and 1-2 sets of dishes in the dishwasher. On my husband's "weekend" he does the same. At this point (because my daughter naps well, 2-3 hours once a day) on Saturday when she is napping is do a quick deep cleaning about once a month or every-other week, depending if people are actually coming over to my house. I clean both bathrooms first, if she's still asleep the kitchen gets counters cleaned, table cleaned and the sink cleaned, then it goes on to dusting and then floors. I'm also lucky because she will play in her crib for a little while for me to finish up.
As for cooking we buy A LOT of Trader Joe's frozen meals like teriyaki chicken, orange chicken, fajitas etc and then a bag of frozen vegetables. I can make a good meal in 10 minutes. And we end every night, from 6:30 to 7:00 walking the dog around the neighborhood. I try really hard to not have to do very many "have to's" while my daughter is awake. I feel like the past year has gone by so fast, I don't want to miss any more then I have to.
Another thing that helped me was when we moved our daughters bed time routine up from 8 to 7 (the night we started this she also started sleeping through the night, I guess she was over tired and waking because of it). At first I was sad because I would get home from work at 4:15ish and she would be in bed and asleep by 7:30 so I didn't get to see her much. Then I realized that I could spend that hour that I was already use to spending with her to cleaning the house a little bit.
If you need any support or anything, feel free to email me...I know how it feels!

D.,
I have a couple of things to add. Yes, as a mom I have had to let some things go like the cleanliness of my home. Check out www.flylady.net for some ideas on how to keep things clean without killing yourself. I use Gourmade Cookery to help out with dinner in lieu of take-out. Another thing I do is grill some chicken or meat one night and then use the leftovers for burritos or tacos the next day. Good luck- It's a tough job! Don't forget to take care of yourself along the way- you deserve it!
D.

I work full-time and have a 17 month old. I am a teacher so I am home with my daughter all summer and every holiday. I do love spending time home with my daughter. I am honestly more tired when I am home with my daughter all day then when I am working. I know that is crazy, but when I stay home I get kind of lazy and feel sluggish. Don't feel guilty if you have to work- most people have to these days. Some people decide to stay home because their job doesn't pay enough to justify day care. I get pretty lax on deep cleaning my house during the school year. What time do you get off work? I am usually home by 3:00 and play with my daughter for an hour or so and then she comes in the kitchen while I make dinner (about twice a week). We go out to dinner 1-2 times a week. We sometimes eat cereal or eat a healthy choice dinner but it doesn't bother us. My husband (works 8-5) does a majority of the cleaning (bathrooms/floors etc..) I do all of the laundry, cooking, dishes and shopping. It sounds like you just started back to work-your body still may be adjusting to the new schedule.

Hi D.,
I've been there. I know especially when your little ones are really little, it's SO HARD! Here is what I've learned in the past 6 years since my oldest was born. You may THINK other women have it together. We don't. Most of us (and I don't care if we're a SAHM or full-time road warrior) are just barely managing the chaos. Don't beat yourself up; you will find your way.

Some things that have really helped me... 1) Dream Dinners. This has not only saved me time on a daily basis, but gets a tasty, healthy dinner on the table with minimal thought or preparation on my part. Also, it has saved money on my grocery budget. Can't recommend it highly enough.
2) Spend a little time getting your household organized. You will feel so much better and you won't have that feeling every day of the walls closing in on you with all the clutter. The way I did this was to start small and pick one room (for me it was the master bathroom). I took a big trash can in there and threw away everything I hadn't used in 6 months, then organized what was left. I did that with every closet and room in my house, one room/closet per week. Now I have no issues with clutter and it is faster to clean my house!
3) Multi-task. When you are cooking dinner, have your husband fold a load of laundry. Your baby can sit in his bouncy chair and watch you both do this (or be in the Baby Bjorn or whatever). Babies find all kinds of random things interesting. And face it, 100 years ago housework was a lot harder and women didn't have help - and they did not constantly play with their children. It is ok for your baby to see you and your husband keep the household running; he'll be plenty entertained for a short while.
4) As money allows, try and work in some hired help. Even if you have a cleaning lady come in once per month and do a deep clean (scrub your floors, clean your windows, get the toilets super clean, etc.) - even if you just cut out Starbucks or other small things, you can probably afford this. And then you just have to do minor cleaning to keep everything sparkling.

I know people will tell you just to let the housekeeping go, but to me, there is nothing worse than coming home to a messy house. I feel SO MUCH BETTER about life when my house is neat and tidy, and I feel like I'm more patient with my little ones when my house is clean.

Aside from all that, my advice is to be proud of your work. No matter if you are a SAHM or if you work full-time, we all have things to be proud of with what we do. You are showing your son that you contribute in an incredibly important way to the well-being of your family! Never let anybody (including you) make yourself feel bad about the job you're doing. You can't be all things to all people. Just do your best and that is good enough!!

Wow, you have lots of great advice that I agree with. I am a single mom of a 15 month old and I work full time too. I get you about being tired.

I totally agree with the "screw the housework" theory. I am naturally a clean person, but oh well, these years don't last forever. When my daughter is awake, I play with her, spend time, etc. Since she is getting older, I let her "help" me with little things (laundry, cleaning the counter, etc) which is actually more work than doing it myself, but it's spending time together, so who cares?

When she is asleep, I do things I can't do when she is awake. I take out the chemicals to clean the bathroom, I get on the email (like now) I do some yoga (I highly recommend some sort of gentle stretching, it works wonders, even 15 min!), and yes, sometimes I just lay down with her and rest.

I have readjusted my thinking on meals~ simple, healthly, small. 1 course is enough, there are healthy frozen options and Sundays are great days to make and freeze. Dinner now might be an avocado & tom sandwich on W/W bread instead of pasta salad, or an organic frozen burrito with added steamed squash and tom. Each takes less than 5 min and I don't care if my daughter takes some it, it's healthy!

These years are so short (even though some days seem looooong) and one day we will wonder where all the time went. I look at my mom's very clean house and am jealous, until I see her with my daughter and realize she would rather have a hectic, messy house and a baby than a clean house.

When I started this journey one of my friends told me "you will be tired all the time and pretending like you're not. It doesn't last forever, you just get through it. Drink coffee and laugh a lot" If the baby is happy, healthy, fed, clean, what else in world even matters?

Good luck!

Hi D.-
My first question is this: do you have sisters? Sisters in law? Is your mother around? How about girlfriends? I went to a "Sisters" seminar with my mother at her church a while back and this was their suggestion for tired mom's. Take turns. Every weekend, like on a Saturday morning, takes turns cleaning each others home and doing whatever work needs to be done, like laundry, gardening, cooking meals for the week and freezing them, etc. This also provides childcare for the little one since all the ladies are together, and lets you build deeper relationships with them. The way to approach this is: Tell them you need help and want to make it fair. You also want to spend time with them and need help getting organized and prepared so you have time for your new baby. This gets you into preventative maintenance mode rather than cleaning up after the tornado hits mode.
The other issue is why you are tired. Working full time with a new baby can run a mommy ragged. I know money is tight, but maybe a small change is in order? Are there things that can be downsized or budgeted? Maybe a cheaper grocery store? Or buying food in bulk and preparing dinners for the week on Saturdays or Sundays? Little things can add up!!! I just started one of those keep the change programs at Bank of America, and it's really amazing how much cash gets set aside when you look at the big picture. Plus I will make a casserole or stock pb&j and bread and keep them fresh in the fridge. It's all about the quick and easy but healthy meals to keep you going.
My other suggestion is to start taking supplements. Vitamin B Complex or Vitamin B shots. My friend is a single mother of 2 and her energy dies so quickly. But vitamins make a large difference. They are just something she is not getting through her food intake that her body needs.
i hope this helps you out and I hope your energy levels rise and your stress levels fall.
Good luck D.

D.--
I am so there with you...I work full-time (5 days a week, 7:30-4:30), too. It is a long week and much harder when you have a little one that you want to devote your time to rather than the tedious home stuff. I also pumped/breast-fed until my daughter was 12 months old, she is now 19 months old, and the time is truly worth it. I will say if you are not eating properly and consuming enough water, you will wear yourself down.

So I am a crazy OCD mom that cleans constantly. I do cook most evenings, but my husband is a great help there. I have also re-vamped my cooking style to create short-cuts. The biggest one which seems to be a recurring theme here is freeze, freeze, freeze! I will make a huge pot of pork verde and freeze 2 extra meals from it. Or assemble a lasanga and make 2 extra pans for the freezer, same with enchiladas or rissoto. There are lots of great meals that freeze and can be healthy for the whole family. It also cuts down on dishes for the night. Another thing we have instilled in our house...and I know ladies, not the "green-est" idea, but we use paper plates for basic meals (it does cut down on water usage). It means less clean-up and the dishwasher doesn't have to be used as much (or emptied). Now the biggest thing I have figured out with the toys are baskets--everywhere! I have baskets in each of the rooms with my daughter's toys, that way I can scope up everything on the floor and dump into the baskets. Now my daughter is old enough to do it herself. And finally we have a cleaning time every week...we have reserved ours for first thing Saturday morning. My husband and I get up and immediately dive in...one vacuums the other cleans bathrooms, one mops the other dusts and so on. We are usually done in about 2 hours and the house is ready for the weekend and next week.

Good luck and try to take time for yourself, too...I know how do you fit that in? Well try!

It sounds to me like its not worth it! You didn't say why you have to go to working 4 full days instead of 3 half days, but I would do everything I can to prevent it. You are right, no matter how organized you are there aren't enough hours in the day to take care of husband, home, baby, and work.

If its for financial reasons sit down with your husband and have a serious discussion of what it means for you to be working full days. (extra child care expenses, extra food expenses because you are too tired to cook, compromised house cleaning, loss of sanity, etc.);-) Find out where you can cut your expenses (get rid of a car payment, move to a less expensive home, switch to cloth diapers, etc).
Take a good hard look at your options and the consequences of your choices. Ask God and your husband to help you get on the right path with the right plan and then, "Full speed ahead!"

I use the weekend to get organized for the next week. I do my grocery shopping on the weekend and make a menu for the week. I lay out my clothes for the whole week on Sunday night, so there is not any wasted time in the morning trying to figure out what to wear. You can always iron them the night before if you have time. Pack his diaper bag on Sunday and just add things he needs like bottles, etc. in the morning. Try taking turns getting up with Benjamin in the middle of the night. Your husband do Monday, Wednesday, Friday and you do Tuesday, Thursday, Saturday, so than you both get a good night sleep once in a while. It helps to sleep through the night :) I am very organized with my time. I try not to sit down for at least an hour when I get home, because than I get tired. Use the time when you are making dinner (put him in his high chair) or giving Ben a bathtub as your playtime. I try putting my kids to bed by 8:30 than stay up with my husband until 9:30. Even if we just cuddled and watched television tired together at least we were spending time together. It is hard to make everyone happy. But Benjamin will only be 5 months old once. If your laundry has to wait one more day it is o.k.

hi D., I'm 35 have 1 yr old and 5 yr old and I work full time out of the house (as does husband & we have a tight budget i.e. im the housecleaner, but my husband and i share the load. some points to get you through...
1) screw housework - spending time with husband and baby is much more important.
2) Crock pot. Dump frozen chicken in with bbq sauce. walk away for 9 hours. steam some green beans and rice. voila.
3) screw housework - breast feeding is much more important than a clean counter. I know it seems absolutely necessary, but this year is going to fly by. I know dishes,laundry, toilets get gross, so you do it when you get to it. or not. Now that my baby is one, it is easier. I have more time patience and money.

Hi D.,

I can totally relate. My husband and I both work full-time and we have a 9 month old daughter. I am an organization freak and a clean freak. To keep on top of everything I usually have a plan and team work is the key.

When we get home he cooks dinner we take turns eating. One of us does the bath and bed time routine with our daughter -while the other person washes the dinner dishes and all of the dirty bottles. That person also gets the bottles for the next day measured out and set up. Most importantly we have our coffee maker on a timer. When she wakes up in the morning or from a nap(on weekends) I always throw a load of clothes in the wash. It is just automatic she takes a couple naps a day so I am always able to get the laundry through. My husband and I fold all of the clothes at night and chat about our day etc.

As for cleaning the house - I have found that if my husband takes my daughter out of the house (i.e to the park, the grocery store, friends house) in three hours I can get the whole house clean. I really would rather not clean while I try and watch her -its not fair to her and the house never really gets all the way clean.

Working full-time and being a parent is hard and making time for yourself is even harder - I cannot seem to master that so good luck and hang in there.

Simplify your life and stay home with your son. He'll never be a baby again, and if you are home with him, then you get to be the one who sees those first steps, and all the other milestones in between. You can nap when he naps in order to get your rest. You can have enough time to take care of the house and cook dinner for your family. You will have time to take care of yourself, and then you will be a better wife and mother for your son. I've never regretted staying home with my kids, even though we don't have a lot of money. I bet that the stress of living on less money will be easier to deal with than the stress, fatigue, and guilt that you are headed for. Please don't be offended, I just think it's so much better for the kids and the whole family if the mom stays home with little ones.

Hi D., I am in the same boat although my daughter is now 8 1/2 months. I went back to work full time when she was 5 1/2 months. I (usually) work 4 days a week in the office, one day a week at home. I'm a lawyer and have to work fairly long hours so I can totally relate to feeling like there's no time to do ANYTHING! I have dealt with this in the following ways and although I still have a hard time sometimes, I am making it through and my house isn't a wreck 1) planning out my grocery shopping for the whole week and cooking "big" meals every other day. So we eat leftovers the second day, and the 3rd day if there is still a bit left, I'll try to do something creative (i.e., a bit of leftover taco meat from day 1, plus leftover lettuce from salad from day 2, can become taco salad by day 3). 2) Sacrificing the pumping. Once my stored breastmilk ran out around 6 months old, I stopped pumping at work, so during the day Hailey's babysitter (my mom or mom-in-law) feeds her organic formula (she likes Safeway brand better than Earth's Best which smells funny even as formula goes). Your milk supply will adjust and just make sure to drink lots of water. But the time I spent pumping at work just extended my already long work day. Mon-Thursday I nurse 3X per day (morning, evening, night) and all day Friday-Sunday. 3) I make time to exercise. It took a lot to drag my butt to the gym at first (I go at 8:00 after baby goes to bed, hubby uses the time to wind down) and I have more energy, sleep more soundly, and feel better about myself. 4) not feeling bad about letting go of the small stuff that nobody notices but you, like dusting the baseboards (ok well my mom notices, but nobody else does). 5) Doing a "10 minute cleanup" each night, after baby is in bed, and enlisting the help of hubby, helps keep the clutter to a minimum. We each take a room and do as much tidying, laundry hanging, paperwork filing, toilet scrubbing or whatever can be done in 10 or 15 minutes. That way our Saturday isn't full of chores.

This was probably more than you bargained for but I hope it helps. I will be interested to read others' suggestions too!

Best of luck - and remember that taking care of yourself and not neglecting your needs will be best for that sweet baby.

I looked it up and there is a wonderful place called Dream Dinners in Fresno, CA. I have one here where I live too. Here is the website link for the one in your area: http://dreamdinners.com/main.php?page=locations&store...

Be sure that hubby is doing his fair share of the housework, since you are providing nutrition for your baby it can be just as draining as house work. Be sure you and Hubby are getting all the vitamins that you need as well. A really great one I do well with is Sea Aloe (you can google it). It is safe for baby and nursing Mamas, and give you the energy and balance your body needs. The benefits of it will also be passed on to your son!

Also, join a local MOMS club. You could get together with friends on the weekend and cook up bulk meals and freeze them for the week ahead. Many hands make light work.

Also, if it is in the budget consider hiring a part time or full time housekeeper. It is wonderful if you can afford it.

Good luck, hugs!

T.
Founder
www.theparentpack.org

A crock pot is the best friend for working moms. Also, there's a cookbook called 'fix it and forget it'. It has great crock pot recipes. Here by where I live there's also a service where you can go and prepare weeks worth of meals to freeze and eat later on. If you don't have time to prepare them usually you can just pick up prepared meals to stock your freezer. Sometimes it can be pricey, but at the end of the month they'll have stock your freezer days where everything is half priced or specially priced. www.supersuppers.com is nationwide. Good luck!

Hi D.,
I am a working mother of two and can relate. The first year is the hardest. I did find that getting organized was the key to keeping my sanity. Early bedtimes for the kiddos are a must. I get home from work, talk to the kids or watch a 'play' they have created, then get dinner started. (Dinner is simple if the fridge is well stocked so that usually involves two grocery store trips a week. Sometimes I'll go on my way home from work and I'll think about what I need before I go in and can get done in 20 min.) My girls are 7 and 3 1/2 and they help set the table, get the veggies out of the fridge, pout the rice into the pot, etc. After dinner we clean up any enormous messes they have made, I'll start a load of laundry, then its the bedtime routine. We start the routine around 7/7:15 and they're in bed by 7:45/8:00. By that time my husband is home so we'll do a quick pick up around the house then fold the laundry while watching TV or talking. That is the one time of day we have for just each other. We vacuum and clean the bathroom on the weekends. I can't tell you the last time I washed the windows. There are some things you just have to let go of. You've already received some wonderful advice, I think the vitamins and frozen meals are great ideas. With my second daughter, life was so hectic, my milk dried up around 8 months. I wasn't eating enough or drinking enough water during the workday.
Just remember that everything is a compromise and you are doing the best you can. Don't be too hard on yourself and when you think another mom has it more together than you, it only means you don't know her very well. We all struggle.
Good luck,
E.

We started "Big Cook Sundays" and cooked & prepped lots of stuff we could eat 1/2 of the next week & freeze the rest. I get out my food processor and chop a big batch of onions etc. and split it up into various dishes and save some for salad. I found a big tupperware type thing that is supposed to be for cakes - I put washed lettuce and basic salad ingredients like celery and carrots & onions and cover with a wet paper towel to keep them fresh, we add fresh tomatoes as we go because they get a little funky if you do them ahead. I make a big batch of couscous - hubby is Moroccan and LOVES the stuff - sautee onion, diced carrot, can of garbanzos in the pan before adding the water & dry couscous - season with fresh cilantro & chicken boullion & parseley. Butternut squash is yummy in it too and it was one of the first real foods my son ate. It keeps a long time too - I toss grilled chicken or fish on top at dinnertime.
make a big batch of spaghetti or penne with your favorite sauce ( use more of those chopped onions ) pasta always tastes better the next day and it freezes well for about 3 months. The rest of the week we eat grilled meat or fish with a steamed veggie and salad.
Also, I sort a load of laundry while I wait for my son's bath to fill up, I turn on the washer on my way out the door the next morning and throw it in the dryer that evening. I keep the "health issues" clean - like cooking area, sinks, toilets and bathtubs clean - and usually don't get around to dusting and vacuuming until a full moon or visitors remind me to.
I have also made peace with the fact that as soon as I get the pillows fluffed and cute on th sofa my son will decide to build a fort - I think it's a law of nature. I can't tell you how many times he has put too much food in his mouth and gagged himself and puked right after I mopped the entire house. *sigh*
My mom spent my childhood scrubbing things - I don't think she has ever watched an entire movie at home she jumps up to fold laundry or bleach something and then asks us what's going on.
My goal is to just avoid being nominated for " Clean House" or "How Clean is Your House?" or my son being embarrassed to bring friends over. ;)

OK first of all you need to get yourself on a better quality of vitamin and get some rest when you can. If you want to be an efffective mother and wife you have to take care of yourself. I'm neurotic and clean all the time. I like a clean house, however, I don't want to miss out on things with my son in order to have a sterile toilet. I pick one thing that I will clean each day and that is it. I do one load of laundry every other morning. But that's it. My time with my son is my time. And things are hectic enough with trying to get him to eat solids and take consistent naps!

I make dinner every night, but that is my choice. I would recommend doing what i did when I was working and wanting to lose weight... I cooked a few meals on Sundays and then froze them so that i was able to have great meals during the week even when I was tired.

I feel for you! It is tough to work, be a good mom, good wife and do all the household chores, even with a helpful hubby. Especially since you are exhausted from the night wakings. Simplfy meals by eating soup and sandwiches or salads or partially prepared foods. Cook large portions on the weekend and freeze meal size portions to heat and eat during the week. Learn to be okay with a "picked up" house, not a "perfectly" clean house. Check out the Fly Lady online for tips on streamlining cleaning chores with limited time...she emphasizes setting small goals, using a timer and cleaning in short bursts and doing heavier cleanings on a rotating basis. Share baby play/hubby talk and snuggle time in the evening and set up a "date night" even if it includes baby at first. Try to stay awake to gether one evening a week for some alone time together. If possible, go on lunch "dates" with your hubby so you can talk...you will begin to miss communicating. Throw a load of laundry in in the morning before work then dry it and start a second load in the evening so you can dry it in the a.m. when you start a load. Arrange chore/dinner duties with hubby so that the workload is more equal and you take turns doing baby duty, dinner and other daily chores so that you feel less burdened. Recruit friends and/or family to help you out for a few weeks or hire a "tween" girl to be a "mother's helper" assisting you with the baby and/or chores on weekends...less expensive, but very valuable. Also ask your work if you can work flexible hours...maybe arrive at or leave work an hour or half an hour later than usual for a month or so to help with the adjustment. Inquire about the possibility of telecommuting one day a week with baby at daycare at first until you develop a schedule...you will be amazed at how much you can accomplish in a day at home...both work and household chores during "breaks"...I find that several hours of my day at work are spent in meetings or assisting colleagues rather than accomplishing actual work.

I have three chldren...two of which help out with chores and it is still a struggle. I need to work to follow my own advice. LOL! Make sure to take care of yourself and not push too hard as it is hard to be a good mommy, wife, worker when you are completely exhausted.

Congrats and good luck!

Hi D.!

It sounds like you need to practice "letting it go".......I mean, the house chores will always be there :o) Try not be over-whelmed, & simply try to pick your priorities :o) I know it's easier "said than done", but after 13 years, I'm FINALLY getting it :o) It's the best advice I can offer a new mother, especially if they are as picky as me when it comes to "doing it all".........

I found, that once I established a semi "routine" that I felt more accomplished during the day, and somehow was able to do more than before. It just took practice. Like, to get started, each morning I threw in 1 load of laundry, and had a certain time to put it in the dryer. Like as soon as my little one went down for his first nap. It's amazing how much better you can feel by simply doing 1 load of laundry a day :o)

It's truly hard to juggle everything, and nobody here will fault you for that :o) We have all just leanred how to do it, good or bad :o)

It all comes together, but first you have to "relax", and simplify your life. So what if you have frozen Lasagna, Bag of Salad & bread every 6 days!!!! It's easy, and there are plenty of more dinners like them to simplify our lives until we can juggle cooking again :o) Well, in my case I could NEVER cook, but I enjoyed trying!

Good Luck, D.!

:o) N.

D.,
I completely agree with JoAnn. I am a stay at home mom, but we live in a condo and don't have a lot of "extras". It is so worth it to have my kids with me, a semi clean house and time to cook and play with my kids. Plus, I'm not exhausted when my husband comes home and we can hang out when the kids go to bed.
I'm such a believer in being at home with your kids that I'd live in a apartment and eat PB and J every day to make that happen. You'll look back on it and be so glad you did!
Regards,
D.

Slow down and remember what's important. It's OK to let the laundry suffer so you can spend some time with baby. Don't try to be "Power Mom". Do dishes, spend time w/ hubby, etc. after baby goes to bed. Your baby knows you love him.