Priorities??full Time Working!!

We don't do well with cooking ahead and freezing (DH doesn'y like it), so we cook simple meals every weeknight (30 min prep or less). I do most housework, except the most pressing needs like dishes on the weekends only.
TV and computer are huge time consumers, so we just ditched Cable and I refuse to use the computer at all after work.
I never feel like my life is balance and I am constantly in catch up mode. It sucks and I hope to scale back or stop working altogether soon.

Good luck!

my husband and I do the housework on the weekends. Laundry, I start in the morning and put in the dryer when I get home, one load a day keeps it under control.

Mom, Have you considered going PT at work if this is possible? Your baby is at such a critical time in his life and he needs you there. He needs to be a priority for you and your husband and it sounds like he may not be right now. Please take a look at my earlier blog post about this (below)and you may rethink your lifestyle.
Thirteen yrs ago at the birth our 1st child, my husband and I decided it was best for me to go bk to work after 12 wks of maternity leave. It was hard but I found a terrific caregiver, I put our baby, then later growing into toddler, in an in-home child care setting. I thoroughly checked out and chose a terrific, ex-business woman ,changed to stay at home Mom of 1, as our caregiver after visiting 6-7 homes and meeting many care givers. My husband and I were very career driven at the time, but looking back on our decision it was not the right one. I missed so many milestones with my baby and later little girl. ,Over the last 6-7 yrs, after me changing jobs working in a less stressful field, PT only now, I deeply regret our decision. I saw my baby daugher later toddler, become very attached to her FT caregiver and it ripped out my heart, although I knew she was well cared for and loved by her care-giver now I know so regretfully it was not the right decision for us. I missed out on everything just so we could have a nice home, 2 cars and material things that now mean so little. Our daughter began PT preschool at 3 when I chose to change my job to work PT (which was much better for all of us) but those 1st 3 very critical yrs in her life with my child age gone. We are very blessed that our daughter has been a wonderful child and now awesome young teenager, but if you can live a lesser lifestyle for the sake of your baby or child definitely do so. You will never regret it. Good luck to you mom. Hope this helps.

I think one of the reasons that we working moms beat ourselves up so much is because we constantly think that we have to divide our time between our chores and our kids. I'd say that you can probably do a little bit of both. Certainly bulk cooking (or slow cooker cooking) can help, as can staying on top of the laundry. I often pick up my kids around 4 and take them to the playground, only to get home at 6 and think "oh s**t, what am I going to make for dinner?!," but that's worth it because we had a good time at the playground. But a lot of times we come home and the kids kind of putter around and play while I make an easy dinner. With your little one, for example, you could make a "laundry game" - can you hand me the red shirt? how about the blue sock? That's time together that's both playing and getting stuff done.

I guess my long and short is that you'll just have to see what kind of pattern works for you. When winter comes and the park is less alluring, you'll probably get more housework done when your son is awake, in the spring, you'll probably eat more quickly grilled hamburgers and hot dogs so that you can spend the afternoon playing.

Good luck with the transition.

I used to cook right when I got home, but having 2 kids tug at my pant leg for attention drove me crazy. I wanted to play with them, BUT I HAVE TO COOK DINNER! :) I now make dinner at 6:15 so I have time with them before hand and they either go outside with daddy to play (which is equaly important) or they "help" me cook. I also do a lot of crock pot meals. They are handy. I don't do a lot of freezing, but it could be fun. We are known to eat sandwhiches for dinner sometimes too. We always eat at the table together, so who cares what we eat as long as its healthy! :)
When you are a full-time working parent you have to make every little minute with your kids quality. Therefore giving your attention to everything you do is important. Make bathtime special time, make jammie time special. Give your attention to those times the same as you would play time at the park. All kids want is time and attention, they don't really care about the activity as much as doing it WITH you. :)
We do 15 minute clean up time right after dinner. Everyone helps (yes, even dad!). Your son can help to at that age, you just have to be creative. This helps with the daily clutter. Laundry and stuff I do after they go to bed.
We also hired a cleaning service to come in on Friday. They spend 2 hours cleaning all those places I hate to clean. Now on Saturday you will find this working mama outside playing firefighter or whatever with her kids NOT scrubbing toilets and mopping floors! Its not that expensive if you work hard to make it fit. We pay $40.00 per week, BUT I don't get my hair done at a salon, my nails are my own, and I don't buy coffee everyday, we don't have a house phone (not saying you have all these, but I am just showing that with a little budget adjustment a cleaning service IS possible and SO worth every sent!!!).

The housework will always be there and as much as you try you'll never get ahead - LOL. I am just like you working full time with two and when they were younger our house was a disaster!! Not dirty, but I didn't touch anything, but maybe run a load of dishes and laundry mid week because time was too precsious. I reserved stuff for weekend nap time and really booked it!
I loved the mom that said she turned off the computer and cable. We couldn't affore either when kids were young and so much of our time was spent together. I never did get the hang of bulk cooking (my husband likes to cook or likes fresh) so we used food prep/dinner prep time as family time too. I had two drawers just for the kids to get stuff out and play with or they would bang pots and pans. Typical kid stuff. Now that they are a bit older they stir, sift and flip and set table - so much fun. Like an oiled machine.
I also suggest if you have the luxury a housekeeper would be divine:)
Best of luck!

Hi there,
I do ALOT in the morning so I can spend my time after work with my boys (age 1 and 3). I don't get home until 6pm, and the little one goes to bed at 7pm, so I don't want to spend any of that time cleaning/cooking! My husband usually feeds the kids before I get home, which is helpful. But in the morning, I get up around 5am and am often tossing food into a crockpot, vacuuming, doing laundry....whatever needs to be done. At night time, we work out 4-5 nights/week (after the 3 year old is in bed at 8pm)...so time mangement is KEY!!!

Hi S.,

I am not a FT working mom, so I humbly respond as I cannot know all you go thru to juggle. Nonetheless, as I have started to do some work from home, and will be started to work PT in the Fall, and am managing the household, I can relate a little bit. I would use that 5-8 time with your child. He is only young once and that quality time I humbly believe is so important to the both of you.

Some ideas that I plan on implementing when I go back to teach PT:

1. Housekeeper (if you can afford it two-four times a month)
2. Cooking meat and chicken on week-ends and freezing in bulk.
3. Lots of frozen veggies and pasta in addition.
4. Not being hard on myself for not being perfect!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

In addition, is there a neighbor who is a SAHM and would be willing to cook for you for a small price. SOmetimes as they are already cooking, they don't mind adding extra for a fee. (That is what I do now in addition to the above).

HTH.
Jilly

I work fulltime as does my husband. One us tends to our son while the other cooks in the evening, takes out trash, and does dishes- the chores that can't wait. All other housework waits until the weekend- laundry, vacuuming, etc. I'll straighten up a little sometimes after my son goes to bed, but the bulk of time is usually that is time spending time together with my husband. All that other stuff can wait!

Hi!
I started reading the other responses, but decided to just put my own scenario up here for you. Hubby & I work FT and he's been working out of town since last summer (only home Thurs night through Sun morning). So, I'm like a working single parent Sun-Thurs. My girl has been in daycare since 3 months old (she is now 19 months old). They have actual lesson plans, outside time, free play, art play, and all kinds of other activities (no TV). It is only a few minutes away from work and she loves it!
A typical weekday for us is:
Up at 6:30 (the girl gets up early on her own).
Cuddle in bed for 10-15 minutes.
Shower (we do morning showers rather than night baths) and dress.
7:30 She gets to watch a 30-min cartoon with her snack (cereal, fruit, or yogurt with juice or milk).
I use that time to fix my lunch, collect trash, get stuff together for the day, make up the bed, etc.
We are out the door by 8:00.
Leave work and pick the girl up at 5.
Get home around 5:30.
Relax for a few minutes, pick toys or books to keep her occupied.
Cook dinner (eat between 6-6:30). (More on this in a minute.)
Wash dinner dishes while the girl eats dessert in her highchair.
She plays in the living room, her bedroom, and/or outside (it's a secure balcony, so I keep her in sight) while I relax.
We may set up a "Little People" village to play, or build a fort, stack blocks, color, or do some activity together if she wants more hands-on "mama time." Usually, she prefers to just play alone--maybe because she's around a bunch of kids all day?
I may also start a load of laundry or organize/clean one room/area.
Around 7:45 we clean up the toys and start the bedtime routine.
Brush teeth, put on pajamas, get water, read book.
The girl is in bed by 8:15-8:30.
I will finish whatever cleaning I started, or empty trash cans.
I watch tv for a little bit and try to get to bed by 10.

So, usually on Saturday morning I do the more "heavy duty" chores (bathrooms, vacuum, more loads of laundry) since the girl likes to wake up early anyways. I try to keep the house clean and organized most of the time, so it usually doesn't get very messy or dirty. Of course, it would probably be a different story if the hubby was around all week! :)
As for food, I cook a lot of easy meals: spaghetti, hotdogs & mac n' cheese, frozen pizza, omelets, etc. Dessert is fruit, yogurt, popscicle, etc. If I have to make a mid-week stop one day, I'll pick up a rotisserie chicken & potato salad or a sub sandwich for dinner. I would LOVE to do the freezer meals, but I just do NOT have the time (or energy). There's this terrific website called "Once a Month Mom" where she sets up menus, recipes, shopping lists, and schedules for "OAMC" (once a month cooking). I've been trying for months to convince my mom to go "halfsies" with me, but she's not interested (yet).
I don't like that my girl has to be in daycare, but it's just not a good idea for either of us to not work right now. But, when we start planning for kid #2, that may change... I feel like the time we do spend together on weeknight evenings isn't long, but we enjoy each other and are very close. We also plan a lot of fun activities for the weekends: zoo, aquarium, kid's museum, amusement park, playground, pool, etc. I do not feel like my girl is any "less loved" because she's in daycare, and she's smart, funny, sociable, curious, confident, loving, and right on track with all of her milestones (far ahead in some of them).
It has been doubly hard for us, too, because hubby was laid off from his previous job when the girl was 2 months old. He was out of work for 4 months (had his own business, but it was slow) and finally had to accept this other job that took him out of town. He's missed a lot of the girl's "firsts" but she loves him anyways. She knows who daddy is and she's just as loving with him as she is with me.
As a mom, you just have to do what is best for you and your family. You are very fortunate that you had all the help you did for 15 months! My family is close, but they have FT jobs, too. Whatever you choose, go with your gut. Good luck!

I am on board with Jilly! I went through the same phase and was very hard on myself at first until I realized I can't do it all and be it all. I finally convinced my husband to get a housecleaner who comes twice a month. He said he immediately saw a change in me. I try to keep meals simple but as healthy as possible...steam in the bag veggies, turkey burgers, etc. I use weekends and evenings after he goes to sleep to do laundry and get a few things done. If you do just a little each night, it eventually gets done. He watches about 1/2 hour of TV when we get home from "school" while we make dinner together and then it's outside to play until bedtime. My husband and I also get up a little earlier than him so we have time to have breakfast together and get ready for the day. We have #2 on the way so I hope I can still keep my sanity with this routine!

We both work full-time as well with a 2 and 4 year old. We have since our son was 9 weeks-old, and I returned to a 50-60 hr/week job.

I think you manage in whatever way works best for you. For us, my husband doesn't like leftovers, so we have easy-to-prepare meals, lots of fresh fruit/veggies to serve on the side, and balance cooking/cleaning, etc.

I'm fortunate to have a very involved husband, and we've essentially broken chores down. He does trash, I do laundry. I mop, he vacuums. We take turns giving the kids baths and getting them down at night. The biggest imbalance is in taking the kids to day care and back. I used to have a more flexible schedule, and we split the duties. Now, I'm in a rigid 8-5 position which means I'm leaving at 7:30 and home by 5:45.

My monkeys are both night owls. So, we either let them self-play (it's hard to do when you've been away all day), read books or watch shows.

The day before our son's second birthday, just before our daughter was 3 months old, I had to start 5 months of chemo. We have no family close by, and we managed by being OK with some things not getting done on the weeks I was in treatment. I worked full-time while in treatment, and focused our time on them not knowing what the future would hold. All is well now.

Since he's young, see how it plays out. Spend the time with him, because he needs you SO much and is getting to be SO much fun. Alternate nights with your husband and divide and conquer.

You'll get into a good routine, and you will become his SuperMom whether he feels like it or not.

I have worked FT with both my kids (and still do). It's not my preference but it is the only option as I provide the only income at this time and the healthcare. With your son at the age he is, do your housework and cooking after he goes to bed, during naptimes, or on the weekends. This age is such a wonder and so much is going on. My house is not the neatest or cleanest most of the time but the necessities get done. I try to throw a load of laundry in each day or at least every other day. That way there isn't so much piled up for the weekends. For meals - don't be afraid to eat sandwiches one night, have hubby grill burgers or chicken, in a pinch cook frozen nuggets. Use your crockpot ! Make your meals easy. Cook up a bunch of meat on the weekend, freeze it, then all you need to do is defrost, add a vegetable or salad and your good. I know it's hard at times but it is doable. PM me if you want any more ideas.

We work FT too. I bulk cook and freeze on the weekends during naptimes and weekend nights. So, the week nights are more for feed and playtime. Housework is done sporadically thoroughout the week. It's not a perfect system but it is working for us for now. Also, don't forget to squeeze in quality time with your husband. I force myself off the laptop at night. Turn off the tv. Sit in the silence and we talk.

Prioritze the quality time which is whatever that means to you and your family.

I go to school full-time, and work 2 part-time teaching jobs. I am also a single mother without any family support in the state I live in. I have been doing this since my daughter turned two years old, she is now four. She goes to preschool during the day. I work very hard during the day on my schoolwork and such so that I can be completely present with her in the eves. I pick her up at school and spend part of the afternoon time with her doing fun stuff, like working in our garden or playing around the house. Then we do the "work", like cleaning the house or making dinner and doing laundry. I have always made dinner with her, since she was an infant. Nowadays she stands on a stool in the kitchen and helps me with tasks. We make healthy simple meals together, which I think is important for her to learn. On laundry days, which is about once a week, we go to the laundromat together. While the laundry is washing or drying, we go for a walk around the neighborhood. Sometimes we bring a little picnic dinner and eat it at the park around the corner from the laundromat. As a teacher, I can tell you that making dinner and doing laundry are excellent ways to build math skills in young children while you are spending time with them. Cooking has lots of measurements and conversions and chemistry and cause/effect. Laundry has lots of sorting by different criteria.(sorting wash loads then resorting into folding piles)

It is important to have some down time with your child when you first get home in the eves, just to play or snuggle and take each other in. But I also think that cooking and laundry are fun things for infants/toddlers to be a part of too. When my daughter was your son's age she really enjoyed putting the clean dish towels away in the kitchen and helping to add ingredients to what I was cooking. I kept some things at her level in cupboards, like bags of dried beans or canned tomatoes, so she could retrieve ingredients for me:)

I think it is your choice on what works best for your family. I know that I have to get up so early to start my day that it is not ideal for me to postpone my chores until after my daughter goes to sleep. And I do not care to spend my weekends cooking dinners in bulk for the week. You may be different and it may work out for you to stay up later or cook in bulk. But no matter what works for you, I am sure you are going to enjoy your baby immensely:)

Wow, you have been very bless with lots of help. Of course you can do it, and you'll be tired some days, cranky others, happy, the whole nine yards. Women have been doing it for years, with and without husbands... I'm sure your mother and MIL will still be there to help you every once in awhile.

Don't let it bother you when you don't have everything done. One rule is, when you start to get mad at something, will this still bother you in a year?

You'll be surprise how much you can really do without so much help!

Both my husband and I work full time. I get home around 3:30, we like to eat dinner between 5 and 5:30. Eating dinner together is very important to me so I made that number one priority for us. I try to keep it to meals that take only a half hour to hour to make, or freeze meals.

My daughter really likes to help me make dinner. Sometimes that makes it harder, but its good time for us to be together. On the nights I am really tired and need to make dinner without the additional "help" I pop in a video for her to watch. (We aren't home in the morning for cartoons or anything like that and she doesn't have access to TV at daycare so a couple times a week with a video while I make dinner I think is just fine.)

Then I try to either play with her, or get her to play by herself (Yeah right, she is almost three), or sometime the video option while I do dishes and make lunches if she didn't watch a video earlier.

Oftentimes we play and I do dishes and lunches after she is in bed (7:30 is her bedtime)

Then we start bedtime routine around 6:45 (bath, books bed).

I am a real schedule person so we pretty much stick to this.

There are some days I am behind on laundry so she helps me fold and put away while we watch a video together. I try to do a load a night if we need it and then fold it the next night after she is in bed.

My husband is going to school so most of the time its just me. He helps out as much as he can. We have a housecleaner that comes once a month and does a really good clean. Other than that I just try to clean something when it needs it or my husband and I play catch up on weekend.

Good luck! I know it's hard, but I think you will find our rhythmn. You just need to pick your battles and decide the things that are most important to you. I also try to make all the beds and clean up a bit in the mornings. I run the dishwasher every night no matter how full it is (usually it is) and put the dishes away in the morning. Having a empty dishwasher helps dinner time because I can clean as I go a bit more. I like having the beds made every morning because mentally if my beds are made I am more likely to keep the rest of the house a bit more picked up. Having that bit of clutter taken care of helps me.

Sorry, I feel like this isn't a very organized answer, but I hope it helps.

I used to work 60-70 hr weeks when our older daughter was little. My mom and my MIL would babysit for us during the workday, but I NEVER got any help at all with my house or my meals. The crock pot became my best friend when it came to cooking & I would clean the house after she would go to bed. Then after our twins were born, I found that I was able to better manage the house by picking a room a day to clean. I would cook larger meals 2 days a week, making enough for leftovers a time or 2, would have a 'quickie' meal a day or so and then would order pizza or have another form of takeout for another night. Now that I'm a FT SAHM, I wonder how I managed to do things back then. Good luck! I know you can do it!

My husband and I each work fulltime as well (he works evenings) so I have pretty much between 5-8 each night with the kids (usually 7pm because that is when my son goes to bed). Dinners are usually prepared in advance (marinating chicken, crockpot) or we do something easy like eggs or sandwiches. That way we do not spend more than 1/2 hour on dinner and we still have time to play. I do also do some light housework (vacuuming, dishes, laundry) but this is while they are playing - and I'll step away into the kitchen for a few minutes. Usually my 10 month old follows and will play in the kitchen and my daughter will keep doing what she is doing. We go to my parents house 2x a week (they have a pool) so that is their 'outing' most weeks, although sometimes when it's not as hot, I'll take them to the park or we'll go out to dinner with friends.

I absolutely DO NOT do any housework after the kids go to bed. My rule is that when the kids go to bed, I turn back into ME, not MOM. That means I spend the remaining time I have awake doing things for myself - taking a hot bath, reading, watching tv, catching up on phone calls, etc.

Will it really matter if you spend an extra hour or two each night working on housework? I keep things like mopping and the bathrooms for the weekends. And my husband helps a lot by starting/finishing laundry when he's home or he'll empty or fill the dishwasher so I don't have to do both when I get home.

Here's a typical evening (weekday) for us:
445-530: Pickup kids / dinner
530-630: Play inside or outside
630-700: Bath
700: Put son down
7-740: Daughter and I play, watch cartoons, sometimes I'll take a shower.
740-800: Getting daughter ready for bed
8-10: ME time!!!

I have 3 kids (14, 11, 8) and have always worked full time outside the home. I currently own an insurance agency and hubby owns his biz as well so we have full schedules. Here are some things we do:

* hubby does laundry as he can. Washes, dries and puts everyone's clothes on their bed, they put their own clothes away.

* hubby puts away clean dishes in dishwasher after I have put in the dirty ones.

* hubby takes out trash as needed, and cans on trash days.

* hubby takes care of pool/spa

* hubby takes care of dog (food, water, poop duty)

* I cook, clean up

* I dust about every 6 weeks...maybe...no kidding, not a big priority

* hubby sweep floors every few days

* I mop floors every few weeks but wipe up spills as they happen

* bathrooms we both sort of clean as we go. I will clean really well about every 4 weeks when the mood strikes.

* it has really helped that we have downsized everything. Gave a bunch of toys, "collections", artificial plants/trees, clothes, books, kitchen stuff, basically everything we didn't need/use regularly...to Goodwill. "Less is best".

* cooking...I'm a simple cook...I brown about 5-6 pounds of hamburger w/onions and then put in quart size zip baggies and freeze. When I want to use, just take out and put in sauce for pastas, or use for tacos, salads, soup, etc. Same thing for chicken...I put a bunch of skinless/boneless breasts in the crockpot and sprinkle a packet of taco seasoning on top, cook on low all day. chop up and do the same as the hamburger, can also add bbq sauce for bbq chicken sandwhiches! Also, my family is big salad eaters so I chop a couple heads of lettuce and shred green and purple cabbage and carrots and mix in a big tupperware and leave in the fridge. Can also use as taco toppings.

I guess that is the basic stuff that helps us. We try hard to keep weekends open for family activities so we try to do everything after 5pm when we get home. But we are not crazy about having the house spotless by any means. We have Saltillo tiles and have pretty much given up on keeping them clean, we do the best we can. But we are not embarrassed if friends stop by. I have seen other people houses and they are not spotless either!

Hope this helps and good luck!