HELP!!! Birthday Dilemma!!

the answer is simple, He should go! Let her know family is NEVER left out in a celebration! She is being typical but if she wins this battle the next one will be much worse!

Ask her how she would feel if her brother was older and didnt want her invited to his party. Make she understands that it is her brother and even though it is her party that he will be there and see if you can invite his friend that way he is not left out and still has somebody to play with and may not want to follow her around. Everything will work out.

It might be her birthday, but YOU'RE throwing the party. Excluding her little brother shouldn't be an option. It sounds like inviting a friend for your son to hang out with is actually a good idea. It will certainly distract him from following his big sister all day. The only options I'd give my daughter would be that either she accepts that her little brother and a friend will attend her birthday party or there will be no party. When she's an adult and plans (and pays) for her own parties, she can compose the guest list.

You're the parent- little brother goes or no party. Let him bring a friend as well.

It would be more work for you but why don't you do the family & friends party at Chuck-e-cheese and then do a girl's only thing after. A sleep over would be fun if your up to it, if not maybe have the girls over for mini makeovers, dress-up, tea party...etc. Make arrangements for your son during the girl part. But also, explain to your daughter that everone wants to celebrate her birthday because they love her, there are going to plenty of boys at Chuck-e-cheese anyways so it wouldn't really get an all girl party there anyways. Are there any other boys or men who would be excluded, like Dad or grandpa? She may be more receptive to their feeling of being left out. Have fun, and good luck!

Hi C.;

First off, it wouldn't be right if he weren't aloud to go, he is her brother and he's not old enough to understand, all he knows is that it's her birthday and he wants to be a part of it too, after all, she is his sister. Second, I would explain to her like I do my children, it's not fair to push your siblings aside because you don't feel cool enough for having them with you, I tell my oldest son all the time, if you treat your little brother like this now, he'll remember it later, and when you need him, he won't be there because you didn't want him around you then, so why should he be there for you now? It's hard at that age to make them understand how important family is, but you have to put your foot down, just because it's "Her" birthday, doesn't mean that she can call all the shots, you are the parent, and she'll get over it, but if he's not aloud to celebrate his sisters birthday, he's going to remember that for a long time to come, and it's going to make him feel unwanted. In a few years, he'll care less, and the only thing he'll want is a piece of cake saved for him, but for now, he doesn't understand, it is Chucky Cheese, and everyone except for him can go. I hope this helps, you take care.

Candi ;O)

The girl needs some space, and don't we ALL! I totally remember following my siblings around even though, yes, they were my idols, at times I followed them around simply to annoy them.
Give her some space and she will appreciate the time she has with her brother. Make it a point that since it's girls only maybe brother and Dad (or grandpa or uncle) can have a mans day out at the same time. Batting cages, mini golf, barber shop for a cut and a "shave". That way brother won't be so upset about missing CEC.
Also since I assume the CEC will be a weekend thing, whenever her actual birthDAY is(assuming it's not the same day), have some cupcakes and open family presents, Then at the CEC Bday you can have her open friends gifts only. That way brother and family still get to sing Happy BDay, and enjoy cake, and present opening.
Good luck!
By The Way~*~*~*I don't think everyone had to be all "YOUR THE MOM ACT LIKE IT!" with you - for goodness sakes women - we are all here to ask advice, we are all vulnerable at some point, let's not jump on other moms and attack at the first sign of supposed/assumed weakness!!!!! We are here to help not to be catty and self rightous.~*~*~*~*~*
Again - Good luck, I hope you can take all the advice given with a grain of salt.

We have 4 kids in our family, and insist that siblings are included at parties. It's not even up for debate. You might handle it this way - give her the choice between having a party that includes her brother or no party at all. I'm pretty sure she'll come around! Good luck!

I have three children and my eldest likes to exclude the younger brother as well. In my opinion leaving out brother for the birthday is not an option. Who is invited is based upon friends not family, you don't get to pick your family. Mom gets to decide and daughter can be given options such as party at Chuck E Cheese with brother and friends or party at home with just family. Let her decide other things, not if brother comes or not. Also, brother follows her around because he likes her and wants to be like her, which is totally flattering and a positive thing, so you can say something like: "wow, little brother thinks you are so cool and wonderful, that he wants to be around you, that is neat, isn't it?" If she says "no", just comment that you think it is neat and special and she is lucky and then drop it. Focusing on it too much will just give it more attention. Also, stick to your decision about the party with family without emotion. Don't get into a huge debate about it, state what her options are and let it go.

I wouls suggest pulling the 'mom card' ... she can't control every aspect just becacause it is her birthday. And all girl party is fine if that is what she wants (darn kids start that stuff early!) but FAMILY is NOT included in those wishes. Her little brother is part of the family and automatically included and YOU decide if he should bring a friend to keep out of her hair - maybe Daddy/grandparent/someone can hang with him and the friend to make sure they don't follow her around? But I wouldn't give her the choice at this age to exclude her brother.

My older daughter has wanted to exclude her younger siblings from her b-day parties in the past. However, we have a firm rule about family attending parties. They can have a party and invite whatever friends they want, but siblings are always included, no matter what. Usually we allow the sibs to invite one friend of their own. We just feel it is an important way to stress the value of your family and stregthen the bond between them. Friends will come and goes but siblings are there forever!

Not being mean...but YOU'RE the mom, so allow her "girls only" party with friends, but it's not fair to her family to exclude her brother. If he was 12 or whatever, sure, but 4? I'd say your offer for him to bring a friend is a great idea. It's not mean, it's just limits. Good Luck!

What should you do? My goodness, you sound SCARED of your own child, and I think she very well knows it. She's acting like a spoiled, ungrateful little diva. You need to put your foot down, and calmly take control of this situation. Explain that family is the most important thing that she will ever have, and that our family is there for us on our special occasions. Then tell her how many friends she may invite. YOU tell her what she can do, not the other way around. Or better yet, you invite WHOMEVER you want to invite to her party. She needs to learn how to be gracious and appreciative.

If being with her friends is so important, allow her to have a little girlie tea party or whatever IF she earns it with good behavior that is SEPERATE from this birthday party. Maybe make her a visual chart with the reward on it, and then make her earn this privledge over a couple weeks. Choose some of her most problematic behaviors for her to work on.(for example, cleaning her room, being nice to brother,doing her homework, using good manners, etc.) And maybe the day of the tea/princess/whatever party Dad can take his son our for some male/buddy bonding time during the girlie party. Your son won't be hurt or rejected since he'll be out having fun, and your daughter won't be ugly to him if he's around.

If I could venture a guess, I'd say this may go beyond just her wanting to control her birthday party. Perhaps you should start a tradition of "family night", too, since she sounds jealous of her brother and maybe spending positive time together will help with that.

C....although it is HER birthday, she is 5 years old and should not have so much control over the situation. Your son is 4 years old and he is old enough to have his feelings hurt. I would explain to her that it would make her brother really sad if he could not go because he loves her so much. Invite one of his friends and let them go off and play on their own. I am sure that with another little boy there he wont be following a bunch of girls around. Take control of the situation you know in your heart it will not ruin her party but not being able to go will ruin your sons day. Good Luck!

You need to take control of the situation and either send your son with his dad to a boy's day or put your foot down and tell your daughter that she needs to appreciate her brother. Bring him along and have dad be with him only during play, but participating during the cake/pizza, since it's a girl's day for her. I'm sorry but she sounds really selfish and I understand her feelings but she needs to learn that he can get his feelings hurt too. She's only turning 6 and she will be at a place where there will be both boys and girls. It might be diffferent she was having a "tea party" or something that her brother would not enjoy, but she's not.

I think your son bringing a friend is a good idea. It will keep him busy. Your daughter wants a little independence which is understandable, but family is very important too. Maybe try talking with her as a family. Sorry I can't be more helpful as I only have one 5 year old boy, unless you count my two girls (dogs) and my husband :-) Let us know how it all goes :-)

I think family is ALWAYS invited to family parties. You and other family members can occupy the 4 year old so he isn't bothering her, but she should accept him being there.

Holy cow - I hope you got that figured out! 5 is too young to be making such demands! You're the mom, and while it's her bday, she's not turning 16 (give in to this now & 16 will be H-E-double-hockey-sticks). She won't even know he's there if he brings a friend. She's just trying to run the show. Good luck - I hope the party's fun & everyone's happy.

Hey there. Well, hmmm. It IS her birthday-- the one day i the year when you are allowed to be selfish. If she's "forced" to have him around every other day of the year, I'd give her her way. But I would send little bro off on a really fun time of his own with a friend, uncle, grandma, etc. so that he doesn't feel like he's missing out.

I also agree that some of the moms who responded before were way out of line. I'm actually going to flag the offending one as inappropriate. Your question is a totally legitimate one. If you ever do come back here (which, personally, I wouldn't after having gotten some of the nasty responses you did), hopefully people will be more helpful.

Hi C.!
You definitly are going to have to use diplomacy, love, patience and understanding for both as you handle this one!
If he is a really smaru 4 yr old you might get him to understand that ut us just a normal part of growing up that his Sister want a girls only party but he is most likely too young to understand. Better if you just plan something that he would love to do & get all onvolved with. Tey not to talk about the ipcomong party around him. In fact tell your Daughter that if she is going to exclude her Brother then she will have to consider his feelings and not talk about her plans around him.
Good lick on this. maybe a relative will invite him for an extended stay starting several days before the party. Maybe one of his friends Mothers will plan a weekend get away like campimg or Disney.

S.