My kindergarten son has just been invited to his first birthday party. It is at Chuck-e-Cheese at 6:30 p.m. on Saturday. This is for a little boy who goes to my son's after school program. Since he is not in my son's classroom, I reallly don't know how old this kid is except that he is older than my son. Nevertheless, it is really nice that my son was invited. Is it rude if I ask the Mom her son's age when I call to RSVP? Since this is the afterschool Program, this child could be anywhere from a year older to 5-6 years older. I do want to buy an age-appropriate gift.
Also, obviously this invitation does not extend to my younger child understandably. Since this falls during dinner, I have two options. I can have my husband take our daughter to Chick-Filet or something for some one on time. However, she will be broken hearted if she doesn't get to play at Chuck-e-Cheese. I realize that not every child will get invited to every party. However, would it be tacky to have my daughter and husband go and sit apart from the party? I don't want to break any rules here, but I am wondering. I don't want to ask the mother and have her feel as though she has to extend the invitation to my younger child too... Obvioulsy, I have no problem with paying the costs of food for them when they are there...
What would you do?
ETA: Yes, I would be staying at this party. I do not know the parent at all and my child is 5. No way will I be entrusting his care with someone that I have never even met.
Not only would I ask the age of the child, I would ask any special interests. That way you can tailor the gift to the child somewhat. As to the "what to do with the younger child" I would say make it a special treat to go somewhere else with Dad. It doesn't have to be a big deal, just sell it as a great thing & leave it up to hubby how to entertain her.
I would ask the boy's age and tell the parent you are talking with just what you told us - that you want to be sure to get an appropriate gift.
I would also allow dad and sister to go to Chuck-e-Cheese's while the party is going on. In our local C-e-C, parties get a designated seating area that is somewhat separate from the rest of the seating (the game areas are open to all). So dad and sister would just stay in the regular seating area when eating.
I'm surprised the invite didn't state the age of the birthday child, doesn't it usually say you are invited to so and so's ___th birthday party?!
Anyway, you can always ask the mom when you rsvp, oh how old is your son and what is he into? (gift info)
My main advice here: if you are planning on staying at the party anyway then why have husband and daughter come along? I know it's a public venue, and of course Chuck E Cheese is super fun, but your son was invited to something special, not your daughter. Your kids will be invited to a LOT of parties over the years, and IMO a kid doesn't need to go somewhere fun just because their sibling gets to. I think that sets a precedent that you may have a hard time with in later years.
Maybe if you explain the situation to the daycare workers they will help you with his age and maybe some of his interests.
As far as your younger child, ask yourself if you want to set a trend of always having to do something special for her every time she does not get invited to something. If not, maybe it's worth enduring the tantrum a few times.
-I don't think it's weird/rude to ask the child's age...
-I would have your daughter go on a date with her daddy during the party :0)
I vote that you ask the day care workers the boys age and interests. just say your son was invited to his party and you wanted to know what to get him. I'd feel so much more comfortable doing it that way if it were me.
I could go either way with the sibling issue. It probably wouldn't be a big deal if Dad and sis, sat in a separate area and dad watched her while she played. But on the same hand if this is a dinner time party she should probably be getting ready for bed instead of staying out as late as brother. Plus there is the whole having to deal with this forever if you start off this way.
Yes definitely ok to ask age. Heck as a parent I'll lbe thrilled you actually rsvp. Why can't you bring the siblings. You can get them their own tokens etc. At my daughter's parties the siblings were always welcome. And yes even at 10 I do not leave her alone at parties at places and people I don't knw. Remember kids are mean and learn it from there parents
I am going to say something that I hope you don't interpret as rude, but if you don't know the kid and/or the parents, then why are you going to the party? I get that your son came home with an invite, but if your child isn't old enough/doesn't know the kid well enough to supply you with the info about the birthday boy then why go? Do you plan to invite the entire after school program for your son's next bday? I don't understand kid's birthday parties these days, and if you want to go, then go and don't stress the details...but all of your questions regarding gifts and siblings are the reasons I (therefore my kids) don't go to parties! Sorry I am having a mini vent during your question.... just throwing a possibility out there that I realize you aren't asking for :)
I would never leave my kiddo anywhere without me being there too. I think that would be a big red flag if they told me I could not stay. Good for you for planning on staying.
I think that if your hubby and other child go to the same place and eat at a different table then the birthday family can't say anything bad. They are not paying and it is a public place.
Also, the after school program probably has a rule that if you invite 1 you have to invite all of them. These kiddo's are together every day so they do know each other.
Are you planning on staying at the party? Maybe you could both take Sister to Chik fil A and have some special time with just her and let your son hang with the party goers. That's probably what I would do. Also, I think it's fine to ask the mom how old her son is turning when you RSVP...just tell her you aren't sure but you know they are in after school care together, I'm sure she'll understand and won't be offended.
I recently had a big 5th bday party for my son - invited all of the kids from his preschool class (28 kids). I totally forgot to put that it was his 5th bday - since he's an October bday, he missed the Kindergarten cutoff so lots of kids in his class are actually turning 4. When parents would ask me in the RSVP what age he was turning, I was totally relieved that he wasn't going to get a gift more appropriate for a 3-4 year old instead of a 5 year-old. Also I don't think it's a bad thing to bring your husband and daughter - as long as you aren't mooching off the party food, there's no harm! Chances are, there will be more than enough to go around though and she'll even score a cupcake or piece of cake. :)
I certainly think it's fine to ask how old the child is. That's much better than getting a gift for a 10 year old that's meant for a 5 year old, or vice versa! I would imagine that he's not too much older than your son, since most 10 year olds aren't going to want a 5 year old at their party, nor would they have it at Chuck E Cheese. But still, just ask.
I would have your husband and daughter do something else. Let her pick (within reason) what she would like to do that night instead. I think it would be pretty awkward to have them at the same place as the party.
