Having Trouble with Potty training....any Suggestions PLEASE!!

I have the same problem with my son he will be 3 in March. He has been doing this since 12/06! It's so frustrating. He was on a laxative that the Dr. gave to him and I mixed w/ his drinks. But I just stopped that 2 weeks ago because I don't want him to get used to having help to go....UGH. He just holds it and fights it I get so angry at times. Last Monday I gave him a suppository and that worked right away and he pooped a lot! No we are going on another week......I wish he would just learn his tummy would feel a lot better. So sorry I don't know what to tell you or do for my son either :)

Have you tried having him in the bathroom with you when you poop? Make a fuss over the 'cool floaty thing' & watch it spin around when you flush it. Have him on his potty & read to him while you go. Make having a bowel movement fun instead of scarry & make sure he knows it is OK & everybody does it.

If you haven't already, you could hit the library for some potty books, there are several out there that are just for kids who hold in their BM.

My son did the same thing when he first began to use the potty! Every kid is different, of course, but what worked for my son (he was approx. 3) was asking him if he was scared. He admitted that he was afraid to go on the toilet. Then we talked about being scared and told him that it was OK for him to feel scared because it is something new & that sometimes new things are scary. I would sit right next to him & hold his hand while he was going. I also put some of his favorite books & magazines in the bathroom for him to look at while on the potty, sometimes he asked me to read to him. We explained that sometimes it takes a little time. We also rewarded him after he went & I told his daddy & grandparents (in front of him of course) what a good job he did & what a good big boy he is....this seemed particularly important to him.
Good luck & just remember that it will pass - try to be as patient as you can & empthize with your son & you will all get through!

Have you tried books? There's a book out there called "Everybody poops" that's not really related to a fear of poop but maybe if he understands it better and knows what's happening to his body it might help. Also, maybe he has had some painful bowel movements (more than likely) and he's afraid of that. Try giving him apple juice more than any other, too much will give him runny poop but the right enough every day will maybe keep it soft and flowing.

My son did the same thing for a couple years. Maybe from age 21/2- 4 1/2 or so. He would shake and just lay on the couch and get goosebumps from trying so hard to hold it in. Nothing I told him about how it is worse after you've held it in and the extra medicine he would need to take help. I finally told him I'd get him a slurpee after he went. This actually helped to get him out of the habit of holding it. He still did sometimes, but not nearly as often. Not that we usually bribe him, but it did give him some motivation to ise the bathroom quicker. If he waited to go-he didn't get anything.

I have two boys, ages 4 and 2 and they have NOOO problem pooping on the toilet, it's novel I think. However, my sister had a similar problem with her son and I bought him the book "Everyone Poops". She said he was pooping on the potty by the end of the week. It's a very amusing book that tackles the issue tactfully. Another strategy is to let him "hang out" on the potty. We always offer a little baggie of cheerios and a drink (juice makes them poop) while ON the potty to keep them sitting there longer. I know it sounds gross to eat on the potty, but the longer they sit there, the more likely they are to poop. Make it fun, not indimidating. You could even try an incentive, like a smartie candy for every minute they stay on, or as an incentive if he poops on the potty. Just limit the time to five minutes or so, you don't want a red bum!

We told my older son he could go to Rainforest Cafe (his favorite place)if he pooped on the potty, he did the next day! Every kid is different, find what your kid really wants and offer an incntive. Good luck.

We had a horrible time potty training our 3 year old to poop (pee no problem). A few things that helped: 1. Give him a stool to put under his feet-- it makes them feel more secure, like they aren't going to fall; 2. We had to sit with him the entire time. We would read books, look at toy magazines to try to distract him and keep him entertained; 3. We awared a few M&M's once he was done.

I hope this helps.

I sent your note to a friend of mine with a similar problem at age 3...he is now age 5 and this is what she wrote:

Adrian (now 5) says he holds it in still but goes about once a day. He's not afraid anymore. He took the miralax for months. My doctors have said one painful poop is a setback, just 1 will make you need to restart. So they have to go over a month with no painful poops. Zero. He's probably afraid because he's scared it is going to hurt. And it probably does. And even though it might not every time every now and then is enough to scare him. I would say it is very important to address it asap or he may be traumatized with pooping all his life. She'll need to give the miralax (they have a rx generic for that can be cheaper) time to do its work. My son never became dependent on it, he just wanted to stop drinking it one day and I tapered him off and he's been going on his schedule since. He learned that when his tummy hurts that is a clear sign he has to go poop. He goes by himself but still likes to show off his proud accomplishment. I must say though the size of his BM's are amazingly HUGE. I can't believe that comes out of his body but for whatever reason it doesn't seem to hurt him any more and the time it takes for him to go less than a minute. It was a long frustrating struggle.
I would say hang in there and treat the miralax like a medication he can not miss. Because just 1 painful BM at you're back at square one.

Keep in mind by nature boys take longer than girls and even brothers are bound to be totally different - don't compare them where they can hear. You don't want them to feel like a failure or not worth the struggle but to understand this is a medical problem. My son was still having issues when he went to preschool at 4 but his school was great to realize that it is not just a physical problem but turns into a mental problem. I could talk and talk about this subject. My email is ____@____.com

Our 3 year old son wants to do everything his big sister does. We haven't started potty training yet, but I plan to use the "big sister" card heavily when we do. Would your older son be able to talk to him about pooping? Maybe making it into a game of some kind? Certainly rewards/bribes work well for our kids.

If you, your husband or older son ever read a book on the potty, maybe you could use that idea and get a book for your 3-year old that is his "special" book, just for when he is pooping.

Good Luck!

I went through something similar with my son. When he was in diapers, he would have multiple bowel movements each day. When we started potty training, however, he fought to keep it in for days. He got so constipated that he was in horrible pain and I had to give him a suppository. We were both in tears over the whole ordeal.

My biggest advice would be don't make it a battle, and don't force him if he's scared! That will set him up for long-term problems! The most common cause of constipation in children is fear of having a BM. If he remembers it as a traumatic experience, he won't want to do it.

Here's what worked for us: When my son was going through his constipation problem during our potty training phase, I let him poop in a diaper. He could tell when it was coming, and I'd put one on him until he went. I really struggled with it because somehow I thought this might be setting back his potty training, but I believe it actually helped.

Once his constipation was improved and the BM's were no longer painful, I came up with an incentive program. For my son, toy trucks worked. I found a pack of 10 at Target for $7. Everytime he went poo-poo in the potty, he'd get a truck. Within a few days we went from him crying/screaming/holding it in to him running to the potty multiple times a day, squeezing out whatever little turd he could and announcing, "Now that deserves a truck!"

It's never been an issue for us since. I hope it works out as quickly for you. I know it's hard!

This happened to my daughter when she was potty training and we actually took her to the doctor's because of it. They said that the longer they hold it, the more painful it will be when they finally do go (your body absorbs moisture from the stool the longer it stays), so the kids associate pooping with pain and keep holding it, creating a vicious cycle. The best thing you can do, is put Miralax (over-the-counter now I believe) in his sippy cup, it has no taste. Give him some once a day until enough time goes by where he learns to not associate pooping with pain. It does take some time, and the best thing you can do is to be very calm and understanding, that way it doesn't make an already painful situation for him worse. I understand completely, I have spent HOURS in the bathroom trying to be calm and happy and upbeat, it will eventually get better, I promise! Good luck!

My sister had a similar problem with her daughter. She uses a sticker chart. After so many stickers she got to go to Chuckie Cheeses. This seemed to help, because she absolutly loves Chuckie Cheeses. Also this doesn't have to cost you a dime, because you can go in and just play on the playscape there.