My Toddler Is "Holding In" Her Bms

Updated on February 01, 2011
M.S. asks from Murray, IA
24 answers

My 2 year old has recently started to "hold in" her bowel movements. She's always tended toward the constipated end of the spectrum, but I think has had a few too many painful BMs and now won't go! If I'm lucky she'll go every other day, right now it's every 3rd day. She drinks plenty of water and apple juice, I don't give her much dairy (doesn't like drinking milk much), she likes veggies so I think she is getting plenty of liquids and fiber. Anyone had a toddler like this and any tricks to help her "let it out"??

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So What Happened?

Hooray for Miralax! Thanks for all your recommendations! I'll also try the fiber gummies if I can find them and vitamins with fish oil in them. At least we are on our way to solving this problem!!

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B.L.

answers from Minneapolis on

When my daughter was 2 1/2, she also started holding it in. We used a suppository twice, and I never want to do that again! We used Miralax, and that was GREAT (the pharmacist recommended it when I asked about the suppository). We also would give her 'candy' if she asked nicely. Maybe when she's older I'll tell her that it's really prunes......

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M.M.

answers from Sioux City on

I experienced simliar situtation when my son was that age very large and painful bms left him holding it in. Try adding flaxseed to oatmeal at breakfast time for example...or mix it with another food she likes and you can get away unnoticed! lol. It helps soften and keeps them regular. It was only a temporary fix for us unfortunately because he got so bad that he started to throw up every morning regardless on if he ate or not and showed no other symptoms of being ill so I knew it wasn't a flu bug. Ended up getting xrays of his tummy and he was completely full/backed up that required an rx, almost like a laxative. I felt so bad for him! So if in doubt, go to her doctor. I wished I would've taken him in sooner! Good luck!

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S.K.

answers from Minneapolis on

My daughter did the same thing. Tried everthing from cutting out wheat, gluten, dairy etc. to try to figure out what was making her constipated. Nothing helped. Someone had suggested taking vitamins with fish oil in them, I've been using them every since! And she has been pooping on a regular basis, I even put my 2yr old on them and have never had a problem with BMs! (I can only find them at walmart)

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B.C.

answers from Minneapolis on

My three year old does the same thing. It started when she began potty training and we go through bouts of if very regularly. Like your daughter, she gets plenty of liquids and fiber and it's be sheer will that she holds it in. It's paralyzing at times. Yogurt (with active cultures) does help though she doesn't like it much. Pear juice might be a good alternative to apple. It seems to be helping with my daughter and is more gentle than prunes or prune juice. It takes some experimenting to find out how much to give them, but maybe start with a little bit and see if it does any good. Good luck!!

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D.S.

answers from Grand Forks on

Oh, I'm so sorry you're having trouble with this! We went through constipation problems with both of our kids and Miralax was the only thing that worked consistently (for us). You can get it at Wal-Mart, it's on the shelf next to all the other fiber remedies. We had to figure out our own dosage since the full recommeded dose just gave our munchkins diarrhea.....also, it worked best for us to take a little dose every day instead of waiting until there was a problem. (Our aim was to get him used to having a BM every day.) It took me three times to wean my son off of it - it took him close to a year to really establish a routine of his own. I hope you find a solution that works for both of you soon!

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A.P.

answers from Madison on

Hi! My 2 1/2 year old son has contispated issues on and off since we started potty training. So we tried Miralax and it does work. But my sister-in-law recommended we give him Fiber Gummies. They are either with the other vitamins or with the constipation products. So now we use these and let me tell you they work GREAT! You can give your child up to 3 a day. We started out giving him 2 a day (1 in AM and 1 in PM) and since they have helped him so well, we've had to cut back to 1 every other day. Otherwise his BM becomes too loose.

Hope you find something that works.

Take care,
A.

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S.M.

answers from Eau Claire on

My son was just like this at this age. We struggled with it for over a year. I also fed him lots of fruits and veggies and even tried prunes and prune juice. Eventually, I had to get a prescription for Miralax (this was before it was available without prescription). The Miralax was honestly the only thing that REALLY helped him. All the other stuff I was doing couldn't keep him from holding it in and he still leaned slightly towards constipation also.

I would say try prunes and/or prune juice (make sure you are staying away from bananas!). If that and all the rest you are trying doesn't help within a few weeks or so, I'd try the Miralax. I got my son's system regular and got him used to the fact that BM's don't always hurt and finally after a month or two he was going regularly without all the tears. I still keep Miralax in the house as, even though he is a fantastic veggie and fruit eater, he still tends to get constipated easily. I'll mix a 1/4 to 1/2 dose in his juice once every 2-3 days, especially if it was a day he didn't eat as much fiber or if he hasn't gone in a day or two.

Hang in there! I hope your daughter isn't as tough as my son was, he went almost a week once without a BM!!! And when it finally came, it was bad!!! Feel free to send me a message if you have any other questions about it. I've been there, and it was tough, but it does get better!

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E.T.

answers from Rochester on

The newest issue of Parents magazine has a good article on constipation. It says it is quite common with toddlers and often isn't treated right or for long enough. It can get to the point where surgery is needed to clean them out. It's a good article to read.

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C.O.

answers from Minneapolis on

Oh this sounds so familiar. Both myself and my sister had problems with our daughters "holding" their BMs around 2-3 yrs old. They would hold it, then the BM would get large and hard (from holding), and therefore they would become scared to go. Oh the things we did!.... From "poop prizes" to cheers... to suppositories.. and my niece actually had to go to the emergency room once for being completely "impacted" and as a result started taking Miralax. Keep working with her to get her through this stage. Maybe mention it to her doctor. It is a painful process for you both but be assured that both of our girls worked thru it in a matter of months and are great now.

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C.F.

answers from Milwaukee on

My daughter had a problem with this. She was also seeing a urologist at the time and he gave her a medication to help similar to Miralax. It's a pretty common problem. I would talk to your doc about it.

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S.C.

answers from Los Angeles on

miralax over the counter. perfectly safe. I used it for my constipated daughter from age 1 - 2.5. She's 4 and fine now.

and she's holding it in because it hurts to go..so it's not only a physical but becoming a psychological thing where she's afraid to go. Our doctor to told us to let her forget how bad it feels and keep at with Miralax. It doesn't absorb in her system, but simply makes the poop soft.

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K.M.

answers from Minneapolis on

My two year old daughter recently went through this when we potty trained. I mixed in a little prune juice with apple juice since I figured it was highly unlikely that she would just eat a prune...that seemed to work. The other thing that they have now is a chewable tablet instead of the suppository. I think it was grape flavored for a child and I got them at Walgreens. She would go within about 10-15 minutes from when she had the tablet, and it was WAY less invasive. After we got her going again, we discussed how it could hurt her body if she didn't go poop when her body told her she needed to go. It took a few days for her to get over it, but now two months later she will poop wherever/whenever in order to not go through that again.

Good luck!
K.

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L.M.

answers from Minneapolis on

There's a great article on kid constipation in this month's issue of parents magazine. Lots of tips there..

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D.P.

answers from Pittsburgh on

Encopresis is a little different than just reluctance to go...but look into it. She may need more fiber.

I don't know how much she understands about her digestive process, but you may want to explain to her that we put healthy foods into our body and after the body takes all of the good vitamins that help make us grow, our bodies eliminate the waste, which is poop. Explain that it's good to get that out of our bodies.

Oh--O. more thought--lots of activity and warm baths do help as well!

Also, I second the caution to hold off on a lot of apple juice. It can be really constipating. Try LOTS more water or at least white grape or pear juice. Prune juice if she will drink it. You can mix prune/white grape, etc.

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D.W.

answers from Indianapolis on

Our daughter is soon to be 2 (this weekend) and has the same issue. Thanks to all the moms here on Mamapedia I know it's called Encopresis.

I'd recommend putting "Encopresis" into the search bar at the top of the page to see all the discussions that have already taken place.

In our case, a bad few days of constipation brought about this new fear of pooping. We tried fruits, juices, fiber supplements - nothing worked. Finally, the pediatrician asked us to put her on Miralax daily for 8 weeks. It's worked generally well, but we still have issues of her freaking out because she needs to go.

We try to encourage her and help with the psychological aspect in addition to the Miralax. I'd recommend calling your pediatrician to see what their advice is as dosing will be dependent on her age/weight, etc.

Good luck.

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D.P.

answers from Dallas on

We use miralax at our household too.

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L.C.

answers from Portland on

I would try some more fiber-y foods too - there are tons so you can probably find a couple she likes - for my daughter I leave out a bowl of baby carrots that she can munch on - she LOVES them...you could switch from apple juice to apple cider with pulp in it (brownish in color) but don't give her too much it could definitely produce diarrhea if given in quantity and her system isn't used to it - you could switch to whole grain breads/pasta/etc
My DD loves the individually wrapped prunes - I do too - I didn't think they would taste better than regular ones but they do - they taste great
Apples with the skin on or applesauce made with chunks of skin in it (you can even add the dissolvable fiber to that - or practically anything else)
Homemade bran muffins with dried cranberries

I wouldn't be too concerned unless her BM is causing her pain when she does have one - but, I would increase her fiber intake over time (slowly) and see if that helps

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A.K.

answers from Atlanta on

My son is almost 4 and I just recently posted a question about potty training and holding it. We can't get the poop thing down, we did miralax for a while and last dr visit, he suggested milk of magnesia 2-3 teaspoons a night for his age. And so in the middle of the night he did his big poop in his diaper
(I am not attempting night training until we get this poop thing under control) When he was still in diapers over a year ago we have had to do suppositories and endure lots of screaming until he got out the bm. All you can do is try to give stuff to make them do the bm. I buy prunes and call them big raisins to get him to eat that, you can try sprinkling flax seeds in her meals, anything to add more fiber. I know the milk of magnesia works, I just hate having to keep medicating my kid.

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H.M.

answers from Grand Rapids on

That sounds exactly like how my daughter used to be. Basically I had to have a talk with her about pushing her poops out and how it will make her tummy feel better. Lol. I started giving her a little more juice too and that seemed to help. I would not recommed using any benefiber or anything like that. It just cause a build up and makes things much worse. Good Luck! She will figure it out soon : ).

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M.M.

answers from Milwaukee on

We had the exact same problem, we struggled probably for about 6 months.. I finally had enough and talked to doctors and tried to use any and all advice I got.. Finally my mom suggested Smooth Moves tea.. On the box they have a dosage for kids 2 and older.. I think we used 1/4 c mixed in with something else.. We did this for about a week took a few days to a week off and did another go and so on until it worked.. It was the ONLY thing that I could get her to take so that she could not hold back her poop. Do this at the same time you continue with plenty of liquids and fiber. My daughter finally got over the fear after a few weeks of doing that because her poop came very regularly and soft. She forgot about being scared to poop.. I am so grateful for that tea and we have never had an issue again.. If she starts getting a little hard in the tummy we put a little in her drink and no problems but that is once in a very great while.. I hope you can figure out something that works for you, it's an awful thing to go through for everyone involved.
I just wanted to add.. if you feed her a lot of high fiber foods you will have to back that up with a lot of liquids.. Eating a lot of fiber without the liquids to push them out can constipate as well..

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S.H.

answers from Honolulu on

Once a child starts to "withhold" their poop, this is not a good sign. This is anxiety. They WILL get constipated... and this makes it worse, because it hurts, gets harder to come out, gets impacted internally, and so because it hurts, they will withhold pooping again. A vicious cycle.
This is per our Pediatric Gastroenterologist Specialist, which we had to see because my daughter went through that. He said, Toddlers COMMONLY go through this, once they are expected to potty train. Pooping... takes longer to master, in a toilet, and for the emotional comfort with it. He said, NOT to force it or make it an issue nor to scold/punish for it. This will only make the constipation worse. Once on a vicious cycle of withholding poop and becoming "constipated"... it is then a biological AND emotional based issue. AND, at least for my Daughter, he said that is can take a minimum of 3 months... to overcome AND for the poop to become of normal consistency etc. We had to give my daughter prescribed things to alleviate her constipation and for her to stop "withholding" her poop, and to overcome the anxiety. We did not "force" my daughter's toilet training nor pooping... but the process can create anxiety in the child, regardless.

If, constipation continues and does not resolve, it can even develop into "encopresis." (look it up online).

One thing the Pediatric Gastroenterologist does NOT recommend, is suppositories. This is habit forming and does NOT solve the problem nor the emotion based withholding.

You need to see the Doctor. The more she withholds it, the worse it will get.

All the best,
Susan

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D.H.

answers from Scranton on

Does anyone know how much Miralax to give a 24 month old? We're going through the same thing right now, and it's terrible. He's so afraid to poop (because it hurts), so he keeps holding it in. I hate to see him in pain like this.

M.P.

answers from Provo on

Even though you think she is getting plenty, add some more fiber filled foods to her diet. Just to make things a bit softer for her. Make baked beans with black beans. Or whole wheat spaghetti. I'd also cut out the apple juice, especially if it's a high sugar content one. Might want to check on that, usually if you don't make it yourself its FULL of sugar.
Here is a website that shows all the fibery foods
http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/high-fiber-foods/NU00582

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M.S.

answers from Grand Rapids on

answering from experience, I ended up giving my children mineral oil. if it's hurting her to go, then the mineral oil will lubricate all of her insides and it'll slide right out. Sounds awful I know, but it has no taste and a little bit goes a long way

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