Graduation Party Dilema2 - New Idea

I don't know this kid so it is hard to tell...but is he being a little beligerant of bratty here about the restaurant? Why does he want this place so badly for the party. Have you tried saying to him that you guys are going to take him to dinner there yourselves right b/f or after graduation? B/C from where I am standing while yes, he IS the graduate, he is sounding a little like gradzilla here. You guys just can't afford the party of his dreams. period. Tell him yeah-you would love it if you could but you are just not in the situation to take 20 people out to eat. Honestly-many people would find it a hardship. And at least around here home parties are more fun anyhow.

So sorry T.-I know how hard you are trying here but I really don't like your app/cake at restaurant and go back for burgers. Not really tacky-just a little disjointed and doesn't really make sense. And it will still be pricey b/c of course everyone will order drinks. And one more thing-your older relatives will much prefer your house over a pub I would think.

I think you should stick to your original plan. Have the BBQ, cake & presents at your house.
Take him to the restaurant another day.
Why would you have people come to your house, schlepp to the restaurant for cake, then schlep BACK to your house for the meal? That makes no sense. As for the lack of space....I don't know what to tell you about that!

If I were your relative, I would not be expecting that you are going to purchase my meal. When I went to my cousins college graduation, we met at Black Angus or something I don't really remember where, and we all paid for our own meal. I didn't expect my Aunt and Uncle to pay for my meal. Who can afford that right now -

I also like the idea of you guys just taking him there with your immediate family on a different day to celebrate. I am sure that your husband is wanting to be the "yes" man, so maybe that would be a good compromise.

In your other post you talked about him inviting the whole family to stay at your house, and you think that you need to provide hotel rooms?? Why can't they sleep in the kids rooms and you can stick the kids on the floor or something?? Just a thought.....

Good Luck ~

Can you have the bbq at your house for the grad party and maybe later in the summer (before grad starts college?) you could go to the restaurant with just your immediate family.

Going to a restaurant first, people are going to be hungry and likely still order food and appetizers/drinks.... even if they know bbq is afterwards at your house. I just don't think it will work.

Why not just have the bbq at your home? No need to go to a restaurant too... or go out to an ice cream after the bbq if you all want a change of scenery.

T. my fear would be that people would start ordering food.
You will be a nervous wreck watching like a hawk to make sure that nobody is ordering food lol
If you really want to please your stepson bring him to the restuarant the day before/after.
On the otherhand he is 17/18 yrs old right and should understand that you might not have the money to foot the bill for all these people for dinner.
B. k

Hi T.,

I read your other post and wanted to offer a suggestion. First, what time is graduation and can everyone attend or are there limited number of tickets for each grad?? I remember when my kids graduated many went to family dinners (some at home and some at restaurants) and then the students wanted to get together with their friends. Why not go with your backyard BBQ idea for family and then friends can visit if they want. You would not be restricted on the amount of time that you hold the party (and at restaurants you could have a time limit) Also, then if you had elderly relatives they could go back in the house and rest and everyone else could stay and enjoy the party. THEN....take him and a friend or two to the restaurant the next day to celebrate again. Good luck!

I like it and totally understand.
Why should you have to shell out so much money?
However, having said that, I think if you meet at a restaurant first, they will expect to be fed dinner right then and there EVEN if you lay it out on the invitation.
How about going with your idea of at home w/all the party stuff laid out ahead of time. Beer on ice already, food laid out, music playing and white lights pre-strung are brilliant and a must. I say just go with that to be more cost effective and not drag everyone around all night.
You may lose 1/2 the people doing that.

Great idea! I would just invite everyone to the restaurant for pre-ordered apps and then do the rest (including the cake) at the house after.

Great idea and not tacky at all!

I didn't read the first post or the other answers.

The way I see it, you could have a larger party at your house and then just take the graduate and one or two others out for the nice dinner.

This idea seems a little off, as in cake before dinner. Keep in mind that if you go to the restaurant for dinner, you have the option of not offering a dessert or if a dessert is offered many people may opt out or share.

no offense but this *new idea* sounds goofy. have the bbq party & take him another day to his favorite restaurant