Get My Three Yr. Old to Poo in the Potty.

He is playing you guys like a fiddle!!!! Take away the diapers and the wipes. Take him with you to pick out a pkg or two of undies he really likes, tell him the diapers are all gone, no more, and remove them from the house. Get him some of the kando kid wipes, put them on the toilet and when he starts his routine put him in the bathroom and just tell him he has to poo in the potty, there are no more diapers, there is no where else for the poo to go. If he poops in his new fav undies, have him throw them away. It will be rough for a few poo times, but he knows whats going on, you have to take away his options. You dont have to been mean, but you will have to stick to it. You have to set the boundry. I taught in a daycare room with new 3 year olds, and had this situation many times, this process never failed, but be consistant or he will get confused. Good Luck!!!!!!!!!

Don't buy anymore diapers. If you absolutely have to have the diapers them don't let him see them. I went through the same thing with my daughter. I would have to hold her hand so she could poop. She eventually understood the concept of pooping and it was normal to feel weird when the event was happening.

Good luck,
Elisa

Quit worrying about it. He's not ready to poop in the potty. Period. It's his thing, not yours. At least he is making it as easy as possible for you. As the mother of 3 late potty trainers (Two of them at 3 1/2 and one was almsot 4)they'll do it when they are ready and NO ONE goes to Kindergarten in diapers. I look at my 16 year old now and think "I was worried about potty training?"

I am so glad that you posted this, I am having the same problem with my 2 year old. Only, she wont poop in her diaper either. She knows she shouldn't go in her pants, so she usually tells us she needs to go, we put her on the potty and then she says she is done. She is going a week at a time before she will poop. She typically poops in her swim diaper because she can no longer hold it with the water relaxing her. I am completely at a loss. At one point I gave her a suppository, I knew she was constipated, then I set her on the potty. She SCREAMED! It was like she was terrified because she had to poop and she didn't want to be on the potty. I have tried bribes, I have tried stickers, I have even asked her if she would go in her diaper. I just don't want to confuse her.
I am sorry that I don't have any advice for you, but I do feel your pain. Good luck!!

My son did the same thing with the, it hurts thing. I wonder if he was constipated sometime and associates the potty with that. I would suggest a combination of things. When my son said "it hurts" I reached around behind him and pulled his cheeks apart a bit. He passed it, but from then on, if he is constipated he asks me to help him "open" his bottom. Another thing is to give him extra fiber, whether it is pear juice (7 grams of fiber in one can) or whole wheat breads. Then have him try again and see how easy it is. You can offer some reward system whether it is getting a toy if he goes poop in the potty for a few days in a row, or a sweet treat each time he goes...my son's motivation was marshmallows. The last thing I can think of is to get a baby potty. Some kids really hate the way poop makes the water splash up on them or are afraid of their bottom falling in. You can put a little bit of water in the baby potty as he gets more used to going on it...if he will go on it. Just be creative and patient, it will come eventually.

I am having the exact same problem with my 2 1/2 year old, except she won't do it in a diaper either. She just goes in her underwear now. It is so frustrating for me because she has done it before and I know she knows how. I have tried every bribe under the sun and nothing is working. She just does not want to go on the potty. My next trick is going to be putting her in the tub when she has her accident in her underwear and making her clean herself up. She will probably make more of a mess than she will clean, but she HATES to have anything on her hands when she eats and stuff, so I don't think she's going to like cleaning it up herself. She did the holding it thing and got constipated, so we used Miralax to get things moving again. I wish I had some advice for you. I would probably get rid of the diaper. I talked to my daughter's pediatrician and he said not to let her have a diaper anymore because it would confuse the issue. But, I also know how much I HATE cleaning up soild underwear, so I'm almost jealous of you for that! :-)

I will be checking your responses to see if anyone has an idea I hadn't thought of. Hopefully we will both find something that works. Good luck!

I think you should do away with the diapers all together. He seems like he has too comfortable with the set up currently and if you are always going to oblige him, why would he want to change? He'll need to have some accidents so that he can "feel" that it's not good to go in undies and he will slowly loosen up to going to the potty in time. Going poo in the potty is a lengthy process at times, so just stand your ground and he will get it. Good Luck!

I have a couple suggestions. The first really helped my daughter get over her anxiety: poo poo popcorn! We keep a bag of popcorn in the bathroom and to keep her on the potty long enough and help her relax she nibbles on popcorn. Second, (and you might want to modify this) I let her pick out nail polish and I paint her nails. I put the basket of nail polish at her feet and she spends time leaning over to look through it. This leaning over pushes the poop right out without her even trying. I'm not suggesting you let him look at nail polish but something interesting that keeps him leaning over for a little while. This has really worked well for my little one. Good luck!

My son is three and a half and we have been working on getting him to poo in the potty for about six months..This is how we finally got him to go on the potty: I took him to the store and I let him choose a few undies and I tell him if you poo in your undies I'll throw them away..after throwing away a couple he started to go in the potty...It has been sooooo difficult but We're getting there! Good luck!

When my sis-in-law was training my niece, they had poo issues, so she made a "Brown Book." :-D It was basically a sticker collection method, with a reward after my niece pooped in the potty after a certain number of times.
The rewards were usually pretty high currency. If there was an upcoming trip to go see Grandma or go to Six Flags (they had season passes) that would be the next reward.

Best of luck!
M.

L.,
I feel your pain. I am in the throws of potty training my 2 year old and he is about 75 percent there.

One thing I found very helpful is The Potty Bootcamp. A mom combined various methods into a quick read download. It is only $5.95 and took me all of about 30 minutes to read.

What was most helpful for me was "the week of preparation". I had never really thought to explain to my son that pee pee and poopy belong in the potty (I didn't have to do this with my daughter). I also explained to him that he is a big boy now and only babies wear diapers. Finally, and it was tough to do but it really worked, I let my son pee his pants and poop in his pants and then let him stay in it for a bit. My son really hated this. He wanted those pants off! Then when I took them off of him, I had HIM put the poopy in the toilet and wash out his underwear. I thought the author was out of her mind when she recommended this, but my son only washed out about 2 pairs of pants and he started going on the potty. Adding to that rewards for going in the potty, telling me that he had to go and going independently on his own he is really doing well.
I only had to use negative reward once as well. My son stood beside the potty and pooped in his pants. He did not get to watch any cartoons and lost his bear for a time. Again, he has not done this again and had been pretty consistent about using the potty. This is not to say that he does not have accidents, but he is making every effort to use the potty and doing great!! I also strongly recommend the book "Everyone Poops" By Taro Gami. My son loves it and it seems to have really "clicked" something for him.

The Potty Bootcamp may seem extreme to some parents and I'll admit that I did not do all of the "drills" (but my son had been working on pottying for a while and they weren't needed). However, in terms of speeding up the process, I can't recommend it enough and I am very happy to be only using pull ups for sleep.

Good Luck!!

I agree with Nancie 100%. Don't strees yourself or your little one. He will go in the potty when he's ready.

I am going thru the exact situation right now with my little girl who's three. (except she goes poo in the closet rather than the bathroom!)

What you don't want to do is -in taking away his diaper altogether for him to use the potty- make him not go at all. And when THAT happens, the poo accumulates, gets really hard and he gets constipated and then it WILL hurt when it comes out! (It happend to my little one when she held it for 2-3 days. ouch.) They start screaming, crying and are so afraid to go (because it's hurting). It's very sad and hard on their little bodies. That will set him back even more.

Just allow him to continue with his poo-in-the-diaper phase. That's all it is, just a phase that will too pass. (I'm preaching to myself as well!)

Our kids will make it through, it's just US that need the patience! ha. Take it easy and be cool.

My (now 6-year-old) son did the exact same thing for several months after starting to pee in the potty when he was 3--he would ask for a diaper to go poo. We used a sticker chart for going poo. The first chart had maybe 12 squares for stickers, and he got a big Thomas train as a reward. Then we did a chart with maybe 20 squares, after which he got another smaller prize. Then he asked for a 3rd chart, but I conveniently kept forgetting to make one and he also forgot about it but by then he was going poo in the potty.

You might also ask your doctor if your son can take Miralax. My son still does not like going poo because he says it hurts. Our doctor recommended Miralax; I put 1/4-1/2 capful in his chocolate milk at night, every other night, and it helps loosen his stools a little so it doesn't hurt so much. You can buy it OTC, but I would check with his doctor since we didn't start using it until he was 5.

I'm in the same boat with my 3 year old son. I saw something in a magazine this morning that I think we're going to try. He loves Spiderman, Batman, & Speed Racer and he's always asking for one of them to come to our house. The suggestion was to have a friend "pose" as one of his favorite characters and every time he goes poo in the toilet or potty chair he gets to call one. The friend, of course, will have to be alerted but we have three couples we're friends with who all have sons a few months younger than ours and I'm thinking one dad could be Spiderman, one could be Batman and the other Speed Racer. The suggestion was princesses for girls. Even if it doesn't work, how fun for the kiddo! Best wishes for a speedy conclusion to the potty training business.

Could you put a diaper in the toilet to "catch" the poop? (of course, don't flush it. ha! and I would use gloves to fish it out) Or cut a hole in the diaper? Or no longer have diapers available, run out and not have time or money to get some and that he will have to go in the toilet until you can get to the store. Your sorry but you need him to do you this favor. Remind him that holding it in will hurt him! I really don't know how to help you. Once we realized that ours knew they had to go and only would go in the diaper/pull up, then we started spanking. It worked every time.

I think the best thing is consistancy. Keep putting him on the potty and don't put him back in the diaper. Tell him poo poo belongs in the potty. Have him say it too. If he says it hurts give him some water or some juice to help the poo come out easier. It took a while for my first son to get comfortable. My second son did have a poo problem, his poos were big and hard so they did hurt to come out. I have to make sure he has plenty to drink and not to give him vitamins with iron. Right now I am in the process of training son number 3, but he is still in the pee pee stage. He is not so difficult because he has 2 big boy brothers and wants to be just like them.
Good luck

It sounds like you have tried everything that I would have. The last thing I would try is hiding the diapers. Pretend like you are out of them and see what happens. If it starts to hurt him, then by all means, bring them back out, but an accedent in him underware could solve the problem. He is plenty old enough to clean up the accedent with your help. Then, I would check with his ped next. I have heard that there is a muscle that allows a child to sit and poop that developes later in some children. This could be the case with your boy. maybe next time he is in th e bathroom do something really fun like bake cookies or play a game without him. Let him know that he is missing out. Good luck. Sorry you are having such a hard time.

I had a similar problem with my son. Our pediatrician advised to not make an issue of it. Let him go in the diaper. Casually mention to him that if he'd like to he can use the potty. You may also want to look into giving him Miralax - that is what our pedi perscibed. Another thing to try is giving him a stool to put his feet on while on the potty. Hope this helps.

I agree that diapers should not be an option anymore. But, at this age, they can hold it quite a while if their scared, so let Miralax be your friend. Put a little in his water once a day (we use about a quarter of the suggested dose in the cap) to make sure the poo stays soft and doesn't hurt when it comes out. Pain will set you back. Age 3 is when the magical thinking comes into play, so use that to your advantage. Tell him that when flushed the poo goes under the house to a poo party. See if you can figure out if he's scared about something (my daughter said she has monsters and biting spiders in her bottom) and make up some magic thing to make that better. We used "magic spray" that turned the monsters into nice monsters that wanted to go to the poo party, too. Magic dust made the spiders nice and smiley so they wouldn't bite on the way out. You get the idea.
For my other daughter, a sticker chart worked well. Every time she went she got a sticker. When she filled a whole row, she got to go to the dollar store and pick out one thing. When she filled the whole chart, she got to pick anything at the Disney Store or Walmart to a set dollar limit. That worked great for her, my other daughter couldn't care less about that.
Good luck! I think potty training is the worst, but it will get done eventually.