Frustrated and Need a Proper Prospective

1) get a "Geographic/District Exception" to another school in another District. For a school you do like or has better ratings.

2) Home school.

Try homeschooling.
or running for the school board.

My guess is that the teachers themselves are overrun and underfunded. How many kids are in each class? How experienced are the teachers? But it's not just about the teachers, it's about the infrastructure of the school. How many photocopiers are there in the building? Are there aides in the classrooms?

I would hazard a guess that homework assignments aren't being handed out because there's one, maybe two copiers in the school that every teacher and classroom has to share, and it breaks all the time. It is much more time-efficient for the teacher to post it online and then have each family print it off than to spend an hour photocopying, unjamming, etc. If the teacher doesn't have an aide, there's no way for her to balance the needs of the kids who have come in knowing no letters with those who are already learning how to write lower-case. She has to "pitch to the middle" and the ones at the bottom get lost and the ones at the top get bored. It's really sad, but true. And while we'd all love for our kids to have the most experienced teachers in the world, every teacher was new at some point, and that is hard, hard, hard. So truly poor teaching isn't acceptable, but sometimes it's 1am and you've just finished planning how you're going to fill 6 hours the next day and you want them to have homework but you just can't think of anything good. So you give them a crappy assignment. I would try to give the benefit of the doubt, if you can.

I don't know what kind of volunteering you're doing, but you could try talking to the teacher herself about what would be helpful for her. Photocopying? Designing more specific homework? Being a handwriting tutor one morning a week? I am sure that it's frustrating feeling like you're "picking up the slack." Do try to remember that the teacher likely feels like she's "picking up the slack" for so many parents - those who forget to send their kid with lunch, or boots for winter, or lack of basic manners, or poor hygiene, etc etc. I am sure that you are a great parent, but lots aren't, and teachers today are being asked to both be more academically rigorous and more of a parent, and they're being asked to do it with increasingly thin resources.

Clearly, I'm a teacher, so this is my perspective. But rather than go in with guns a-blazing, try to approach from a helpful position. I work at a very very good public high school, and we are feeling the financial pinch these days. Parents want the same level of education and involvement, but I now teach 20 more kids per year than I did 5 years ago. There is no way to do more with less and do it as well. Unfortunately, while the parents pay the bills, the kids pay the price.

Good luck.

if you're spending that much time supplementing your kids' educational experience, you might as well just take matters into your own hands. you'll do a better job anyway and lose all that frustration.
homeschool, girlfriend!
khairete
S.

I think you are spending time fretting and worrying over something that you cannot fix alone.
Who cares if the state comes in and restructures? If the current system isn't working, that is their job and it validates your stance. As one parent, it is difficult for a group of trained educators to take to heart (and mind) your suggestions if they don't see issues.
If you want to advocate for changes, take an office and/or do the research that shows how their reasoning is flawed. Use educational journals and proven studies from advanced educators, etc. Really argue your case in a respectful way based on facts that they respect, not just your opionions and experience in a different school. Show how altering different practices save time, money and increase test scores, etc.
My MIL is a teacher I was fretting big-time about some things and she shared she has worked for excellent school districts and some real stinkers, but the common denominator for successful kids are parents who care about them and their school work (no matter what the work is). Not parents who assign more to their children in terms of worksheets, but who take a current lesson and expand it or enhance it for their child's own needs.
If the issues aren't academic, but structure and personnel, I don't know if there are any real changes you can make other than lobbying your state board of education.
Hang in there.

I had a similar problem. I've lived all over the country and I KNOW good schools from mediocre schools to bad schools. We live in an area with VERY mediocre schools (at best... our areas 'best' schools are a 2 on a 1-5 scale compared with other schools and districts I've been a part of) with RIDICULOUS polices.

I would have had to of devoted my life to changing the system to something decent, and by the time I'd accomplished anything my son would no longer be of school age. So scratch trying to change the system.

There are many amaaaaazing private schools in our area. They also come with a 15k price tag for elementary and 35k for highschool.

So we decided to homeschool. :)

______

Homeschooling in a lot of ways is "backwards" from the way most families live/operate. My son (the raging extrovert) spends as much, if not more, time with others as his awayschool counterparts... but they're social in the morning, and he's social in the afternoon, they get family time over school breaks and holidays, he goes to camps over school breaks and holidays. Their parents are trying to cram time in with them (in our area school days are 8 hours long + drive time &/or daycare, since cost of living means both parents usually work), while WE are constantly looking for ways for him to have time away from us (classes, camps, sports, etc.). Awayschool families get stressed out with adding activities, homeschool families tend to grump about not being able to do MORE activites because the classes are offered at the same time (we just CAN'T get basketball or boyscouts fit into the schedule, no matter how hard we try!)
ex) My son does 4 seasonal sports (soccer, snowboarding, baseball, sailing) 3 year round sports (gymnastics, swimming, aikido), drama camps & plays (5-7 on average per year), year round music class, and art class... and dozens of "one off" (1 day to 2 week long) classes/activities (like astronomy at the observatory, kids in medicine, renaissance fairs, shakespeare festivals, kayaking, etc.)

That sounds keee-razy to most away school families. But in OUR life, that means kiddo is gone 1-3 hours a day. We pay about $150 per month for all of his activities (yes, we often get homeschool discounts for daytime classes... or that number would be higher).

But yeah... "backwards" in a lot of ways. But in general, I've found things to even out. "Time" just happens differently.

Why not give homeschooling a try?

I haven't read any responses, but have read your "so what happened" update. I really think you should consider homeschooling. I totally understand the "I enjoy the 6 hour break" perspective. That was my biggest barrier to my decision to homeschool. I really, really struggled over that one point. In the end, I remembered that I did not have my children so that I can enjoy my free time. I did not have my children to get rid of them for 6 hours a day. I had my children so that I could raise them and nurture them and meet their needs. And so our homeschooling journey began. It has been 13 years now, and I cannot for the life of me imagine any other way for us to live. We LOVE homeschooling (although that first year was a huge adjustment for me). We love having time together. We love not being tied to someone else's agenda and schedule for our lives. We love taking vacations when *WE* want to take them. We love not having school runs or PTA meetings or whatever else they require. We love not having homework. We love concentrating more on subjects we find facinating and taking our time on the ones we struggle with. We love the relationships that we have built within our family and outside of our family as well. It's a gentle way of living, and we are thriving with it.
I started our hs journey by making a list of pros and cons to homeschooling. What did I see as advantages, and what were the perceived disadvantages. Then, I looked at ways we could overcome the cons. That really helped in my decision.
As long as you continue in the public school system, you will never have any control over what your kids are exposed to, what they are teaching them (or not), who they are influenced by. You can either accept that or do something different. You do have options, which is such a wonderful thing!

It sounds like you are talking about re-designing the education program for the entire school district. I applaude your actions. First talk to the school board and make recommeditions and how to immplement the changes. You need to be very detailed and plan this all out before you speak to the school board. They will use funding as an excuse to not make any changes. I would talk to a professor at a local university that has a program for education and ask how this is done. It will not be easy and will take a lot of time, years before you see any improvement.
I would also run for school board.

Hey J.,

I know the worry you are having! I have been through this too. I think it's great to see that you are so involved and so aware of the quality of your children's education. So many parents just send their kids to the local schools and never question it. As you know, schools can vary greatly from district to district and sometimes school to school and of course from teacher to teacher.

Have you looked into charter schools? Do you have any that you can visit in your area? Some are amazing and offer closer to a private school education but some are less academic and focus on other things so you do have to really check them out but they are usually a good alternative if you find a good one. They do not require inter district transfers but some good ones have a lottery to get in.

What about an inter-district transfer? Do you have a district reasonably nearby that has better schools? You can ask for a transfer. Sometimes they are easy to get, other times they require you to have a reason such as your after school care provider lives near that school or there is a program offered at that school that you believe your child would benefit from that is not offered at your school. There is always a way around it so it's usually easier than it sounds. I would drive my kids as far as reasonably necessary to get them into a better school. Maybe you can even recruit a few other concerned parents and carpool.

If you consider homeschooling at all, just remember there is a lot of support out there. You would not be doing it on your own. I homeschooled for awhile and was amazed at how many options and programs there are. I thought I'd be making the curriculum on my own but that was not the case at all. There are even homeschool programs with classes kids can go to,some provided by the school and sometimes the school pays for the general classes available in the community. It is a huuuuuge commitment though.

I'd be happy to talk to you more if I could help in any way. Keep pushing for the best you can do for your kids but maybe not discuss it at length with hubby as he sounds like he's feeling inadequate and frustrated. Maybe you could just present the positive things you are discovering and thinking about doing for your kids and get him on board. You know how to do that!

Good luck. I feel for you. Providing the best education you can for your kids is so important! The feeling that you are giving them anything less than exceptional can eat you alive. Keep looking. You'll find a better option...

Honestly, I get beyond frustrated too in my school, but one thing I have to fight against is How My Kids Are Doing vs. The System Sucks. And it's not just the school exactly, because they are teaching state mandated curriculum, teaching to tests and focusing on scores based on federal mandates that suck (can't leave soon enough, No Child Left Behind). And I seem to remember reading about how your state's selected textbooks were in massive disarray, riddled with mistakes and bad information. If you want to have some control over these things, attend District meetings, volunteer for committees, get on the school board -- be active beyond simple meetings with people, you have to be part of the decision-making process. But that will take patience and tolerance, you will drive yourself nuts if you're getting pissed off at every turn.

Which is what happens to me, I get so annoyed and cranky about it all. So I have to remind myself to keep my focus on MY kids, how are they, what can I do to guide them better, how can I best support them in this less-than-ideal system? Make it about them, not the system.

The advice to run for the school board is good! Seriously -be the change you want to see. You say other parents are also frustrated. You don't have to have prior experience or be a "politician" to run for the school board, and if the board reps are unresponsive, then it's likely many may want them gone. Trust me -I live in Atlanta, and if you haven't heard about our current school board and school issues -rest assured that the board is going to be VERY different next time around!

Also, you say you don't have the luxury of private school, and I completely understand that. It's REALLY expensive usually! You also have more than one child, so that makes a big difference tuition-wise. I've investigated many around here, and we could probably swing one, but it would really hurt to have to put both in private school -although if we had to do it, we would. What I'm getting at is this -are you currently at home or do you have a job? If you're not currently earning money, would it be possible to pay private school tuition if you did get a job? I used to teach with several women who were working only to pay their children's private school tuition. Many private schools also offer financial aid options, so that's something else you could look into at the private schools in your area.

I don't know if you or family members have established 529 accounts for your children's college tuition, but if you have -you can also use that money for private school tuition! That's another financial option to look into if you truly think their overall education is going to suffer terribly, you may want to invest in K-12 and have them apply for grants, scholarships and loans when it's time for college.

I know none of these are easy answers or solutions, but maybe something to think about. Also look into organizing a parent's group with the other disgruntled parents you know. Groups with loud voices tend to really get the school board's attention! Discuss what you all would like to see in a charter school, and go to the board to ask about getting a charter for an elementary, middle and then high school that would encompass what all you find lacking. Get in touch first with your state board of education to find out the rules and parameters for writing a charter and starting a charter school.

I agree with Beth. I think that your 2 options are to either homeschool, or join the school board.

It's probably worth it to contact the school board and see what they have to say about involvement & changes, and how changes are implemented.

In terms of having your kids stay up to par, you might check into your local library system--many of them offer after school homework help.

No charter schools in your area? Can you do an intradistrict transfer?

Run for the school board. Or homeschool.

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I would do some research. How does your school stand up to others on state and national standards? all schools are rated and all info is public.
Do the experts agree with your opinion that this is a poor school? If so think again about home schooling. since you'll be able to make your own vacation schedule you can send them to cool nature/science/drama whatever their interests camps in the summer to have some time apart, put them in boy scouts, Sunday school, sports or something which will also be time where they listen to other adults beside you and socialize with other children.