Friends W Moms but Kids Arnt Friends

I had this situation with my daughter. I really liked the mom and the girls had been friends since 1st grade. They grew apart because the other girl became part of a clique and was mean to my daughter. It did get tricky, and though I tried to just say "it's a shame they grew apart, but this is life, maybe they'll reconnect, etc" it stayed awkward. I think the mom suspected her daughter was mean but didn't want to just ask. So she kept prying for info and trying to get me to say my daughter was a big part of the split (not saying my daughter never did anything wrong, but I wasn't about to let her daughter off the hook). I didn't want to rehash their issues, their was no point. Eventually, we grew apart as well and I haven't spoken to her in a few years. It's now to the point that we wave if we see each other, but definitely not friends anymore.

I would still take the approach of just saying that you hope you guys can be friends even though the girls have grown apart. And perhaps that you should all agree to not discuss kid issues. For some people, this will work great, for others, not so much!

Acknowledge the elephant in the room. "You know Sue, I am so glad we have remained friends all these years. It is a shame that the girls have grown apart but even though they aren't really friends at least they are still on good terms. I hope it doesn't affect our friendship. You never know, maybe their friendship will blossom one day as adults".

I have several friendships this way. You just have to get over the disappointment and keep your friendly terms about your kids. Like asking them about their kids, celebrating when something good happens and commiserating when it goes poorly. I bet your friend is sad because your child doesnt pursue her child's friendship anymore. You can just say said child's interests changed or her time is limited. You can also be direct in saying, "I don't have much influence on where she puts her social time as long as they are good kids. I trust her judgement that she is doing the best she can and hangs with people she has the most in common with at this stage of her life. I am sure your child does the same." I know I really like to hang with you guys and I would be sad if that changed.

Teens are old enough to choose their own friends. You can spend time with the mom without your kids present.
If the other moms have a problem with your daughter's choice of friends, that's their issue, not yours.

Sorry for your situation...Im on the other side right now. I have asked that question as well. Mostly because I hate seeing my kid hurt and in my case, my feelings have been hurt as well.
I would simply aknowledge that you know it hurts and that its hard. It will take everyone time to get used to the new situation. The "elephant" in the room is never one sided. Remind her that kids just do this sort of thing and without pressure from adults they may in fact become great friends again. At least they arent fighting or doing that stuff!
Making sure your kid is busy with other friends or things that don't involve the old friends will help..

Plan things independently of the girls - not at your houses. They're teens. Next week they may be friends again, but that's up to them.

Teenagers are old enough to stay home by themselves for awhile. If she's your good friend, then just leave the kids out of your get togethers!

Keep the relationships separate. I am friends with a mom whose daughter is not really "friends" with my daughter. They were involved in a two week service project last summer and that was it. The mom and I hit it off instantly. I don't even bring the girls up when we chat/hang out.

On the flip side, my daughter has a friend who she doesn't see as much, but they get along well when they do hang out. While her mom and I are ok friends, we are not close buds and we keep in communication on rare instances. The usual, text or e-mail just to say how's the family. We always say, let's get together, but neither of us make the effort. We both feel that the other's kid doesn't put in the effort to connect with one another. So, I don't push it one bit. They connect when they connect.

You make plans with the adult and don't include ANY of the kids. If you have even one along with you it changes the dynamics of your friendship. So do adult time only.

They are teenagers. They can pick and chose their friends. They grew apart. Your friend should understand this.