Finger Sucking!!!! Please Help!

Updated on July 21, 2008
C.M. asks from Tucson, AZ
24 answers

I have a 4.5 year old son who is a finger sucker. He sucks the middle 2 fingers of his right hand and has done this since birth. In the beginning we though "Oh this is great, no lost binkies" BUT now that he's 4 we can't get him to stop. I really don't think it's a comfort thing, it's not like he only does it at night. He does it CONSTANTLY, which inhibits his ability to play. My ex and I are worried about the amount of time that he spends with his fingers in his mouth and the amount of germs he's putting in there. Thankfully, he's not a sickly kid (which may have something to do with the finger sucking) but I'm also worried that other kids will make fun of him. I talked to his pediatrician and she said there is no point in trying to get him to stop with threats. She said the best way is with a "reward system" which hasn't worked so far. I know it may sound cruel, but we've tried it all. From hot sauce on the fingers (he just switches hands) to wrapping his fingers with tape, which then ensues a screamfest! I am at my whits end and don't know what to do. His poor fingers are worn down where he sucks them so much. Thankfully the dentist said that he isn't (as of now) doing any harm to his teeth since they lay on his tongue and aren't pulling against his teeth like a thumb sucker. Anyways, any help or suggestions would be greatly appreciated!

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L.H.

answers from Phoenix on

I am also the mother of a child who sucks her fingers. She is 6 years old and sucks on her right index and middle fingers. I have also tried everything. She is finally to the point where she only does it when she's going to sleep or when she's tired/bored. I try to keep her active and not have her think about it. I am going to try the bracelet from one step ahead. Just hang in there and give him positive reinforcement when he doesn't do it. I've been trying for 4 years to get her to stop. I can let you know if I have success with the bracelet.

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V.J.

answers from Phoenix on

My brother-in-law has an 8 yr old thumb sucker and his pediatrician recommended that he try a device called Thumbguard. It prevents the child from being able to create a seal with their mouth so they can't suck. There is also one for finger sucking. I haven't spoken to him to see if it is helping but maybe it would work for your son. Best of luck! :)

http://www.thumbguard.net/english/ourproduct.asp

1 mom found this helpful
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A.J.

answers from Phoenix on

Hi C.. My daughter is 4 1/2 as well and she sucks the same two fingers and has since birth. I totally understand what you are saying in regards to this situation. Now we are lucky because she only does it when she sleep, but still we want her to stop. We have talked to her about it and have "encouraged" her to stop, but to date it hasn't worked. I would say that it's not worth worrying about at this point due to the fact that there's nothing you can do about it. I would continue to encourage your son with small rewards and see where it goes from there. He's going to have to stop eventually. :)

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K.B.

answers from Phoenix on

I can't really offer any help, since my daughter-in-law says my 28 year old son still sucks his thumb when he's asleep... We tried bandaids on his thumb, hot sauce (at four he started going into the fridge and drinking Tobasco sauce straight out of the bottle...) and every thing else we could think of. My daughter had the same problem with her son, his thumb was in his mouth in the ultra sound picture. But every time she caught him with his thumb in his mouth he had to give her 10 to 25 pushups (this was at 9 years old.) At 12 he has pretty good muscle tone! You may just have to live with it, and talk to him about when it is absolutely not appropriate! Sorry I can't help!

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V.C.

answers from Albuquerque on

I'm with the folks who say "Don't worry so much about it." It may very well be for comfort - my three-year old has recently started finger sucking and nail biting, and I am sure it's related to the fact that her dad and I are separated. We've been separated for two years now, so it's not a new thing, but the behavior is her newest way of coping with the anxiety she feels. Think about possible sources of anxiety, and see what you can do to make him feel more secure. I would definitely lay off trying to make him stop. You might succeed, but if you aren't dealing with the underlying issue, he will find another way to express his feelings. Good luck!

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J.G.

answers from Phoenix on

Check out onestepahead.com. They have a product you can buy to help stop finger sucking. Essentially, it's a bracelet with a finger guard attatched. I have several friends who have used the product, and it worked everytime. It's not a quick fix, but after a few weeks, it will pay off. Good luck.

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L.K.

answers from Phoenix on

Hi C.,
Both my niece and my son had the same problem. My niece sucked her middle fingers and my son sucked his thumb. My sister found a nail polish that is made for thumb suckers (to discourage thumb/finger sucking). It tastes awful!! It worked on my niece and my son. It might have to be reapplied several times a week. My niece kicked her habit very quickly and never had to use it again. My son took a bit longer, but it worked!!
It is found in any drug store. I can't recall the name, sorry!
Lari Beth

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B.A.

answers from Phoenix on

Hi C.,
I was a finger sucking kid, so I know a little bit about this topic. I think you should just leave him alone. My mother tried everything with me; the nail polish stuff, taping socks or mittens around my fingers/hands, bribery, rewards, everything, it didn't work. I know that when she tried to do it all, I felt so hurt and abandoned. It's the same thing as a teddy bear, it's just a lovey. I still feel slighted when she mentions it now. So, I would just leave him to it, he's healthy, it's not effecting his teeth, he's fine with it himself, you're the one who doesn't like it. I eventually stopped on my own terms and even if he doesn't choose to stop on his own, I'm sure he'll be ok. Good Luck!

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M.P.

answers from Phoenix on

I am not going to be able to actually help you with your child because I decided to go another way of fighting the finger sucking. my children who suck their fingers (and I am using the present tense) are in their 20's and 1 is married. I decided they were sucking their fingers because they had to and making them stop would be more harm than good. as far as their teeth being ruined because of them sucking their fingers I stopped worrying because the only 1 of my kids that actually even remotely needed braces was my daughter that didn't suck her fingers. about 4 I talked to my kids that if they decided to suck their fingers in "public" they would possibly be teased, etc. but at home they would could suck their fingers in their bedrooms but they would not be punished or anything while they did it at home. --- ok fast forward to present day I catch my son sucking his thumb now when he is totally relaxed and in front of the computer. and my oldest daughter's husband will find her sucking her fingers at night when he comes home from work sometimes. I just chose to not deal with it and let nature take it's course. I just decided to make them stop was a losing battle and would cause them more stress to have them stop.

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A.C.

answers from Flagstaff on

Hi C.,
My daughter was a thumb-sucker, even in the womb, we saw her on the ultra-sound sucking away...But anyway, I had the same worries you do because she sucked her thumb until the very first day of kindergarten-she was 6 years old! We tried all that stuff too...tape, hot sauce, yucky tasting nail polish, gloves...and nothing worked until she started school. We DID talk to her ALOT about it the year before she was going to start kindergarten, basically just trying to encourage her that "starting school means that she is a big girl and big girls don't suck their thumbs... mommy doesn't do it"...those types of things. We also encouraged her to take notice of other kids around her age that were not sucking their fingers/thumbs. That seemed to make her "think" about it more. And when she started kindergarten, that definitely is what made it click in her mind when the other kids weren't doing it. I would suggest you just continue talking to him, encourage him to watch his dad, grandad and other kids his age to kind of get it to click with him. And chances are when he starts going to school he will really take notice and more than likely stop doing it/lose interest. My daughter has not had any type of problems with her teeth or palate either so I don't think you should consider taking him to an orthodontist or anything like that. I think he will stop on his own, probably when he starts school. You don't see many adults walking around still sucking their fingers or thumbs :) Good Luck with this and just keep encouraging your little sweetie!

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D.C.

answers from Phoenix on

Hi C....We just went through the same thing with our 5 yr old daughter. She had been thumb sucking since a year old. It started to reshape her palate..(I think that's how you spell it). Has your sons teeth or palate sticking out a little or when he closes his mouth his front 6 or so teeth don't touch? If so, you can go to an Orthodontis (not the regular dentist) and they can put in a mouth gaurd that stops the sucking. It is NOT the guard that pricks their fingers, those are no longer aloud...it just gets glued in their teeth for about 5-7 months. It's been a miracle for our daughter. Even if his palate is not miss shaped it still my be benefical...just go find a Orthodontis! By the way her habit was broke in less then 2 weeks and her teeth and palate look amazing and she still have 3 months left until it comes out. Good luck!

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M.W.

answers from Tucson on

I get this magazine called One Step Ahead and in it is this thing for thumb and finger suckers. You can go to there web site onestepahead.com and see what they have. I hope this helps.

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P.N.

answers from Albuquerque on

Hi C.,

My dentist suggested I buy the book called "David Decides About Thumbsucking: A Story for Children, a Guide for Parents (Paperback)" I have been reading it to my daughter off and on to remind her that is time to stop. My problem is that she also pulls out/cuts her hair at the same time. I was trying to tackle one habit at a time, but it is becoming more obvious that they are associated. Good luck.

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A.S.

answers from Phoenix on

Hey C.,

In your post, you don't say whether or not your pediatrician concerned about your son's continued finger sucking. If your pediatrician isn't concerned, maybe you should relax about it for now. You wrote that you don't think it's just for comfort, but that may be a part of it, even if you think it's mostly habitual. I have a 4 year old binky girl. We took away the binky when she turned 4 in April , after saying we were going to do it when she was 3, ha ha. Anyway, she did fine for a few weeks, and then she started stealing her brother's binkies. We're letting it go for now, telling her we'd really prefer if she'd let 'em go. Anyway, she's got some dental work in her future, I'm sure, but we're just trying to talk to her about it and impose some limits as far as the time goes-she can have a binky at bed, but not during the day, etc...When your boy goes to school, he may stop on his own in order to fit in with the other kids. I know my girl wouldn't be seen with a binky at her preschool, but for now, if it isn't causing any serious physical problems, and he seems perfectly well-adjusted in every other way, maybe you should stop worrying about it. Did the ped say anything about his fingers? Also, you didn't say if you've talked to him about why he sucks his fingers. Maybe you have, but if you haven't, that might be a good idea.

Anyway, that's my two cents. Good luck, however you decide to proceed. As he gets older, he'll give it up on his own, or at least only resort to it during stressful times. And who among us doesn't need some sort of release during stressful moments? Mine's chocolate:)!

Take care,

A.

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D.W.

answers from Albuquerque on

I have 3 kids who were really into the nuks (binkie - what ever you want to call them). 2 were over 4 1/2 when they stopped, they all walked around with the nuks in their mouths constantly - talking through - taking them out just to eat. They all also have a 'sensory issues' and would put things in their mouths that didn't belong there - I'm not talking the normal baby exploring with their mouth - I'm talking at 3 years old putting rocks in your mouth. They all finally stopped - but it took a bit of time. I would give them gum or something else to chew on so they wouldn't use the nuk. With the oral seeking sensory issues they had - they HAD to have something in their mouths. So, you might want to consider that the reason for the finger sucking isn't just a comfort, but a sensory input need.

Hope that helps!

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S.V.

answers from Phoenix on

OMG...I can't believe people are telling you to just let them be!! My son was a thumb sucker. Usually did it at home while watching TV, bedtime, etc. We got the "THUMB GUARD" which you can go to www.thumbguard.com and they also have a guard for finger suckers too. You should put band-aids on the fingers before you put the guards on, so that he can't slip it off. My son tried everything to get them off. Even tried to chew it off!! I really recommend that you nip it in the bud now. My sons socialization changed dramatically since he stopped. BUT during this PROCESS of helping him quit, it is NOT GOING TO BE EASY!!!!! It was like watching a heroine addict come down. My husband and I felt so alone and like the worst parents ever, but I would do it again in a heartbeat!!! He is such a changed kid. He has more self-esteem, is more outgoing and funny. He was really introverted before. Do it now---before school. GOOD LUCK!!

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S.R.

answers from Phoenix on

Well I used to suck the same 2 fingers when I was little and my daughter ended up doing the exact same thing. My mom used a bribe to get me to stop and it actually worked. I remember wanting this certain toy for a very long time and my mom wouldnt get it for me until I stopped sucking my fingers. I eventually got the toy and I did stop sucking. I tried this with my daughter though and it didnt work so what I ended up doing with her was make her wear those winter gloves that you can get for like a dollar at walmart, the knit kind. I ended up taping them by her wrist to make sure she didnt take them off and that is what worked for us. She didnt want to stick them in her mouth because every time she did she got a bunch of fuzz in her mouth. She didnt like it much and had a few freakouts but I didnt give in and now she doesnt suck them anymore. Hope this helps.

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W.B.

answers from Flagstaff on

well first off let me just say that i sucked my fingers till i was 9 years old.And i was rarely sick.i think as a child i can count on one hand how many times i had coughs or the flu or anything else.

you said he doesnt seem to be doing it for comfort because he does do it all the time but he's only 4 sweetie so he may be doing it for cofort.How old was he when you and the ex split this just may be his way of dealing with it also.i wouldnt worry about it too much.i know it bothers you but try to not let it

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D.C.

answers from Phoenix on

C. - I am in this exact situation - my son has picked up Impetigo twice this year (around his mouth) I think becuase he is a finger sucker - He also is almost five. I have a nephew that is now 24 and he did the same thing when he was young - I don't think he stopped until he was around 10- I'm sure NOT what you wanted to hear BUT - I have just decided that there are bigger things to struggle with. My son is a happy child - completely joy-filled so he is not doing it for comfort either - he does do it more when he goes to bed - but I think some kids are just ORAL.

If it is any consolation - I asked my nephew if he ever had braces (I couldn't remember) because his teeth were so beautiful and he hadn't - AMAZING

I think the best advice is to let it go and ignore it - it does not define who your child is. Each day will have enough trouble of its own with out worrying about stuff. God bless.

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J.J.

answers from Tucson on

have you tired the clear nailpolish for thumb sucking and bitting nails. It has a really bad taste, but worked for my niece.

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L.B.

answers from Phoenix on

I never had this problem with my boys but I have heard of other parents putting hot stuff on there fingers they suck or if I can remember correctly there may be something you can purchase in stores that they use for it also to get them to stop sucking on there fingers. Hope this helps good luck.

~L.

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K.F.

answers from Phoenix on

I sucked my wrist when I was little. It was bad too, I had the biggest hicky there! My parents did everything as well, fingernail polish remover, bandaids. Nothing worked! And yes I have a memory of all of this because I was 5 when I stopped doing it. But I did stop and I stopped on my own because I wanted to stop. Honestly I would just give him guidelines on it... you can only do it when your going to bed or your can only do it when your watching t.v. or whatever you feel is appropriate and then leave it alone, I bet he'll stop quicker than you think. Also let him know it's his decision to stop, for example, "you can suck your fingers but if you decide to stop then we'll have a big party for you because that means your growing up!"

On a different note even though I did it as a child, I am so grateful that none of my kids did it so I have empathy for you! Good luck!!!

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S.L.

answers from Tucson on

Hi C.-
Just leave it. Especially since it is not messing with his teeth. It is a form of self-entertainment. Your pediatrician is right. Threats don't work. Do the rewards, and be consistent. Don't try it for one or two days, then say,'Oh, that didn't work.' You're looking at consistency over months here. Decide if it's worth the effort. It is very unlikely that he will be doing this when he is 18. Meantime, while you tear your hair out, he is enjoying the negative attention. Do not begin anything you can't or won't finish- I am referring to the screamfests. If you're going to do something like that, you must play it through to the bitter end. That means that the tape is still in place, and he is no longer screaming, sulking, or anything negative. I think probably he'll quit on his own. He'll get teased at school. Make sure he has enough stimulation from other children and 'play buddies', you reading to him, etc. so that he isn't doing it out of boredom.
Hope it helps- S.

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