i have a 4 month old baby boy, Hunter, very cute, very happy, very easy going. lately he's started to suck on his thumbs. my mom (who helps take care of him) is very against thumb sucking. she's afraid that he'll suck his thumbs until his skin goes raw. my mom is a doctor, so she's seen a lot of weird things, and raw thumbs on children, unfortunately, is one of those things she's seen and couldn't get out of her mind. so my mom and i have been trying to cover up Hunter's hands using mitts and try to introduce the pacifier, but Hunter's still sucking on his thumbs whenever he can and doesn't like the pacifier at all. Hunter has been more or less a great sleeper, until this past week. he started waking up almost every hour crying and i had to breastfeed him and he would fall asleep very quickly sucking on my breast. so it seems he wants to suck on something to go back to sleep. at add to all this, i just started going back to work last week, so i REALLY need to sleep at night. i can't wake up every hour like this. so, i'm wondering...
1. if i take away Hunter's mitts at night and let him suck his thumb, would he go back to sleep on his own and stop waking up every hour?
2. would Hunter's thumbs really go raw like my mom said? how frequent does that actually happen to children?
3. for parents who have children who suck their thumb, how's the weaning process? is it difficult?
4. does anyone think i shouldn't let Hunter suck his thumb, but keep trying the pacifier instead? are there any tips as to how to introduce the pacifier at this age?
thanks in advance for your time and advice.
thumb sucking is a great way of having a child calm themselves down and it's available. It might do some damage to the teeth by pushing them however, maybe that would happen anyway. I kmow lots of kids who don't suck and their teeth are moved anyway. They usually give it up in do time and with all the stressors out there don't make this one of them. All my kids sucked and all are grown and none still suck their thumbs nor to they smoke or anything like that. Leave it alone he will be fine.
Therapist to special needs kids
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J.S.
answers from
Los Angeles
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My daughter sucked her two fingers from about 3 months to almost 2 years. At first she developed a little blister and it one finger was a little tender. But she never sucked on them to the point of bleeding. We tried mittens, bandaids, etc. to no avail. Finally, she got a horrible cold and couldn't breath and suck her fingers at the same time. She stopped on her own and never went back. At 4 months let him do whatever, he needs to be able to soothe himself.
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T.F.
answers from
Los Angeles
on
Hi C.,
I would like to say I know how you feel. I'm in the same situation and I am torn also but this what I know. My son did not start sucking his thumb until he was two years old. He does have skin wearing on both of his thumbs because he sucks them both. He has caused the shape of his mouth to change and his two front teeth are starting to push forward over the other ones. He only sucks his thumb at home because his teachers will not allow him to suck it at pre school with my permission because he would not participate. So those are some things to think about. I would stop him now if I were you because it is hard trying to get my son to stop he tells me he likes it.
Good luck
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H.A.
answers from
Santa Barbara
on
Crikey! Let the poor kid suck his thumb. He's only four months old. He is soothing himself. We can't let our moms get all of their fears out on us, though lord knows they will try. They had their turn! Trust your instincts, tell your mom thanks for the advice and then do what you feel is best.
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L.A.
answers from
San Diego
on
Your mom is making a mountain out of a molehill. And you are making your son miserable. Let him be! I have four kids, two of whom were thumb suckers. Never saw a raw thumb. Never had any teeth issues. How can I be sure there are no lasting effects? Well, one is now 26 and the other is 23. :0) They both have beautiful teeth! And never had any thumb issues. You can worry about just about anything as a mom. A good policy is to only worry about the truly important stuff. This does not qualify. I'd be far more worried about your 2 1/2 year old's pacifier. That may be a tough habit to break. But as for your baby, tell your mom to LET HIM BE!
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J.K.
answers from
Los Angeles
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I am a mother of 3- 11 year old, 8 year old and 5 year old. Two out of the 3 sucked their thumbs and were happier and more able to self soothe than the one who did not. My daughter stopped on her own one day cold turkey at about 6 and my 5 year old still does it in order to fall asleep. I have never seen a raw thumb in all these years and they can't lose a thumb at night as often happens with the pacifier! I think thumb sucking is a natural response to the need to suck and I think it is unkind to prevent it. He will be much happier and you will be able to sleep if you just leave him alone.
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S.F.
answers from
Reno
on
No. Let your baby soothe himself. Will he need braces or speech therapy? Maybe. Worry about that later. Right now, everyone needs to sleep.
Maybe you could find something to soothe your mom? It sounds like she could use some self-soothing techniques, too! <wink>
Good luck!
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S.T.
answers from
Los Angeles
on
Hi C.,
My son sucked his thumb until he was five, but at that point, it was only at night. He would "self-pacify" himself to sleep. Our pediatrician said not to worry so much about it. Fingers are actually better than pacifiers because they never get lost, although, the thumb offers the most resistance.
It was instanteous when he stopped. He visited his first ortho appt. and the ortho just asked him to stop so that his teeth would grow better. And he stopped just like that. And the ortho wasn't too concerned either. He said boys jaws keep growing up until eight or nine, can't remember, but that any overbite may not be as bad as it may seem.
His thumb never got "raw", just pruney at night. And his teeth are great -- no braces still and he's now 10. My daughter was also a finger sucker, the middle and ring! Her fingers were never raw either, just pruney (same thing, at night, when falling asleep).
Good luck!
S.
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S.B.
answers from
Los Angeles
on
Hi C.,
The first thought that crossed my mind when I read your post was "teeth." My son never took to a pacifier and about the same age as your son, started sucking on his thumb. Once the teeth came in, he stopped. Now, when I see those fingers in there, I'm pretty sure we're working on the next round of teeth. My advice would be to wait it out at this point. He may stop on his own.
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L.L.
answers from
Los Angeles
on
Thumb sucking is a way for your baby to self soothe and since he prefers his thumb over a pacifier, your best bet is to let him continue. I have never heard of sucking skin until it goes raw. My son sucks on his thumb - and one great thing is that he can always find his thumb to suck on, unlike if a pacifier gets lost in the middle of the night and he cries out to you. My suggestion would be to let him do what makes him happy and things will be easier for you. Not every child likes pacifiers.
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J.O.
answers from
Los Angeles
on
I'd let him suck his thumb - I sucked mine until I was seven and my thumb is fine.
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C.R.
answers from
Los Angeles
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C., I can't tell you if you should or shouldn't let your baby suck his thumb. I can tell you that I, personally, sucked my thumb every day of my life until I was 12 (how embarrassing) and never had a raw thumb. My son sucked his and also never had a raw thumb..my granddaughter sucked two fingers from birth to 7 and never had any rawness....god luck.
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J.L.
answers from
Los Angeles
on
OMG let him suck his thumb! His good sleep habits will return! It is a natural way for him to soothe himself. My first son was a thumb sucker - great sleeper. My second, did not suck his thumb and would not take a pacifier - horrible sleeper, still is. My thumb sucker kept sucking until he was almost 7, but after about age 4 - only at night. He never got raw thumbs, just a callous on the outside of his thumb where his bottom teeth would rub against it. No big deal. Eventually he will stop but for now, it really is a GOOD thing that he can soothe himself!
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L.C.
answers from
Los Angeles
on
Hi C.,
My cousin and my niece both sucked their thumbs until they were in College and they and their teeth turned out fine (and I think they still do it occassionally). You probably have nothing to worry about but if you are concerned about the thumb maybe substitute it with a binky. My son used a binky from day one in the hospital and when he was about 2 he threw it away himself. The binky has also been shown to help prevent SIDS so that's another benefit. I think your mom means well but it seems that she is freaking you out a little bit regarding the thumb sucking. This is a natural thing for babies to do. I would keep trying the binky and if he only wants his thumb, then let him suck his thumb. Your son is only 4 months old - he needs something to help soothe him.
Good luck!
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J.V.
answers from
Santa Barbara
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I personally think that generally thumb sucking is not "that bad". I have known 2 children who kept sucking their thumbs into childhood. They both stopped when their dentist told them if they didn't, it would mess up their teeth (they were at least 7-8 years old by that time.) Generally kids stop sucking their thumbs on their own. And a baby....he needs to suck.
I went through a similar thing with my mother in law. She had a great aunt who sucked her thumb ( put up with the teasing, etc) until she was in her 90's. So my mom in law had very strong feelings against it...and would tell her grandkids that was "caca" ( dirty- poopy). I was not happy with her telling my son that his thumb was caca. I talked to her about it...don't know if that changed her behavior. My son stopped sucking his thumb naturally at about 4 years. Even at that time he would rarely do it (when very tired, when he felt insecure after his younger sister was born).
My niece (with the same mom- in- law) kept sucking her thumb until she was about 9 I think. She got so much attention for doing it- with grandma trying to stop her, etc. I think it's best if the family can be rather nonchalant about it. Kids are smart- and badgering from families doesn't help one way or another.
Weaning was no different for my thumb sucker than my other two who didn't suck their thumbs. None of my kids really liked pacifiers very much. I also think that Hunter is sucking his thumbs because he is learning more about his body and that he can self soothe in this way.
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W.A.
answers from
Honolulu
on
Hi C...I'm positive you will get tons of replies on this one..but here is experiance. My mom never weaned me or stopped me from sucking my thumb and I look back now and really wish she had. I sucked my thumb till I was 8 years old. Sure she told me not to, but nothing major. I would hide in school and when caught I'd get teased horribly. Not to mention it royally messed up the alignment of my teeth, as well as till today I get these weird pains in my thumb that I sucked on. I also recall my mom having to put ointments on my thumb cause It would get cracked and sore from days when I'd suck it a lot. He's a baby, let him have his thumb, most babies suck on their thumbs when they are that small. My 9 month old sucks on his every so often. I'd start worrying around his first birthday. It's recommened you stop a pacifier at one, so why not wean the thumb at 1 too. Good luck to you anfd your precious little guy!
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R.M.
answers from
Los Angeles
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I think it is fine for a 4 month old to suck on his hands. My little one is also 4mo and has been sucking on his hands (all fingers sometimes all at the same time) for over a month and I have not seen any redding, rashes or deterioration of the skin. If Hunter is having issues with his skin I would take him to the doctor and see about ending the habit, but if it's just his favorite past time for now, I would let it be. It's easier to suck on your own fingers than a pacifier (we use a pacifier too at times) because with the fingers he can control them and self-soothe as needed. He could also be starting the teething phase, so he uses his hard fingers to put counter-pressure on his gums, I don't think a pacifier can do this.
Good luck.
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A.D.
answers from
Honolulu
on
Hello there C....
for me, both my kids never sucked their thumb. Both of them used the pacifier but I took that away before they were one. But my daughter, we had to try a whole bunch of different pacifiers, so maybe trying different ones until you find one that he likes. Also, I remember hearing from a friend that her baby didn't like to take to the bottle...but only the breast. She used a little sugar water on the nipple and it worked. Good luck!
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S.R.
answers from
Los Angeles
on
First of all, stop worrying. My son loved his thumb and one day, just gave it up at around 26 months. Prior to that, the thumb was always in his mouth and he was fine. A few things about thumb sucking:
1. it is known as self soothing behavior, think of it as early problem solving. much better than a pacifier - you don't have to go looking for it in the middle of the night and his thumb is probably cleaner, too. at least its organic!
2. if you're worried about his thumb getting raw, put a little lanisol (the lanolin that you use on cracked nipples while breast feeding) when he goes to bed at night
3. the only time we had an issue with his thumb sucking was when he fell with his thumb in his mouth and broke the skin with his teeth. It was developing a nasty infection and he kept sucking on it. The doctor prescribed an oral antibiotic and it cleared up within a few days. Interestingly, he said that saliva is very good on an open wound. Think of what animals do, they lick their wounds.
bottom line, don't worry. you can't stop it, you shouldn't try to stop it at this young age. when he gets older, you can try to keep his hands busy with toys, crayons, etc. but he will give it up when he is ready. Now I look back on my son's thumb sucking pictures with fond memories of his babyhood.
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N.B.
answers from
Los Angeles
on
Hi C.,
I have 3 kids and all 3 sucked their thumbs for many years (10 or 11 years old!). Two of them do not need braces or any dental work from thumb sucking and one had an underbite so sucking her thumb helped her!!!
Babies need to self-soothe and they know what helps them. You are lucky to have a thumb sucker! Your baby naturally knows what he needs and then we adults try to step in and change their instinctual behavior. He is perfect.
If and when his teeth become an issue, you can deal with it then. He will be older and you can discuss it with him and set goals together, if you even need to do that.
My kids are amazingly secure, fun, happy and well-liked, in a wide range of settings.....is it because of sucking their thumbs? Well, no, but it is because they were allowed to be themselves and to sort out what worked for them in a wide range of circumstances!
N.
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R.C.
answers from
Los Angeles
on
Is it possible he might be teething? My son was also a thumb sucker and did not take to the pacifier. However, my dentist strongly recommended I break his thumb sucking habit and somehow replace with a pacifier as that would be easier to remove when the time came. When my son started teething, I would put his pacifiers in the refrigerator so it was nice and cold. That worked, from them on he choose the pacifier over his thumb.
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A.R.
answers from
Los Angeles
on
There nothing wrong withwith sucking your child sucking his thumb. He will stop when he ready. I have 4 grown children they all thumb sucked. thay allgrew up to be wonderfull parents. good luck with your little ones. A. in Ho. Hills
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M.G.
answers from
Las Vegas
on
I would just remove the thumb from his mouth every time that you see it in there. If he is awake, give him a toy to hold instead. My son sucked his thumb (on and off) from age 4mo to 6mo. I used the described technique, and he no longer sucks his thumb.
At 4 mo it SHOULD be very easy to correct this bad habit. Try this technique for a month or so.....it is subtle way of molding his behavoir. I wouldn't do anything to drastic yet....he IS still a baby....let him be a baby. I wouldn't be concerned about his thumb going raw.....that is pretty extreme.
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J.S.
answers from
Las Vegas
on
HI C.
I too had a thumb sucker. No, they will not suck their thumb raw, a child knows pain and knows when to stop. I too was worried about things like this as well as will my child get buck teeth (like moms and grandma say). the answer is no.
But my doctor was pretty cool about things and told me to get a pacifier that looked more like a bottle nipple or breast nipple (although they do not come that small) no pun intended.
put a little Kayro syrup on it (little thin amount). He took to it fine, but it was hard to break him of it. I got worried again, when he got a little older but the doctor told me if I was so concerned about the thumb, let him suck on his index finger, try the same method and i did and it worked. Like a pacifier it just kind of falls out of the mouth when they sleep anyway. If it keep him happy, than why not. If he is doing it at 4 years old than I would be worried. When my son started using a sippy cup, he just kind of stopped with the bottle and thumb all together. Let nature takes it course. Good Luck to you. Stopping worrying about it. Make life easy for you and your baby...
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J.D.
answers from
Reno
on
My baby (21 mo.) has sucked her thumb since birth. Every now and then it will get a blister on it, but it heals pretty quickly. Unless you can stand over his crib all night long, there's not much you can do. If you want to sleep again, put him to bed without gloves (because soon enough, he'll figure out how to take them off, anyway) and let him sleep.
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M.T.
answers from
San Diego
on
Hi C.,
I have 2 boys (3 1/2 and 1 year). My older one has always sucked his thumb, practically since the day he was born. It has never been a problem. It actually made things easier for me when he was a baby. He didn't need me to soothe him. Now that he is older, the thumb sucking has become less and less. Its pretty much only when he is really tired. As far as weaning goes, I'm not sure if there is even a process. I think they just outgrow it.
Good luck!
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R.M.
answers from
San Diego
on
My son is 16 months old and still sucks his thumb. Along with his blankie, it gives him a lot of comfort. I have never seen his thumb get raw or anything like that, and I wouldn't worry about that if I were you. Let your son suck his thumb for comfort, especially if you need to get your sleep. I have not tried weaning him off of his thumb yet but I can truly say I am glad he sucks his thumb, because it helps him feel secure and content.
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M.S.
answers from
Las Vegas
on
Dear C.:
This is really not a big deal. My own sister used to suck her thumb until it bled...so? She obviously didn't care or she wouldn't have done it!
You can try different pacifiers to see if you have any success but I think that after awhile, if he's being denied comfort, isn't that way worse?
Could he have started sucking on his thumbs because you went back to work and he's not nursing as much? This makes me think he just needs comfort and I'd give it to him. Try the pacifiers, then try a chewy teething toy and if those don't work, I'd let him enjoy his little thumb.
Best wishes,
M.
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K.L.
answers from
Reno
on
Hi C.,
I have 3 children (5, 4 & 2) and only my 4 yr old sucks (yes she still does!)- and here are my two cents worth on the issue. As an infant she was able to soothe herself to sleep at a very early age (by 6 weeks) and has been a great sleeper & self soother since. She is a very well rounded and adjusted 4 yr old - happily attending preschool full-time. We tried to stop her from sucking her thumb (at our dentist's advice) about 6 mo's ago and to tell the truth it made the habit worse. She would hide it and seemed to do it all the time not just when she was tired and in bed. So then I just ignored it and I am hoping it goes away or becomes less frequent as she gets older. Here are the negatives that I have experienced with a thumb-sucker:
1) you cannot take it away like a pacifier...so it is more challenging to stop and yes I am still dealing with it.
2) GERMS...when a child sucks their thumb...well you guessed it they are not always washing or using wipes etc.
3) the more of an issue I make the more of a frequent habit it seems to become...
However I have never seen a raw thumb...only a bit red once in the winter when she was about a year old. Also, I tried really hard to get her to take a pacifier but she preferred her thumb...my other two never took anything and it wasn't for a lack of trying. I just think kids/babies are different and basically some have an oral fixation and some don't. Since you said your son is 4 mo's old and just starting to suck you may be ok trying to stop him. My daughter started by 5 weeks or so...we thought it was so cute at the time...and hey she was a great baby. Anyway, just my thoughts...I don't think it is a terrible thing...our dentist needless to say will not be thrilled that she is still sucking but what can a mom do! I think they stop when they are ready. Good luck on whatever you decide to do.
K
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S.C.
answers from
Los Angeles
on
My daughter sucks her thumb. She is now 3.5 years and only sucks her thumb when she is tired or watching TV. She has never had a "raw" thumb, but I have seen it on another kid. It was pretty sick looking, it was chapped all the way down. The kid was 7 years old and he sucked his thumb ALL THE TIME. As long as thumb sucking doesn't get in the way of communicating, I don't see a problem with it. We taught our daughter some ASL and she always used both hands for that and she doesn't try to "talk through" her thumb now either. I agree that a pacifier is easier to get rid of when the time is right, but their thumb is always there, no searching for it! Enjoy your boy!!
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S.B.
answers from
San Diego
on
Hi C.-
I have two kid's and they both sucked their thumb. My daughter sucked it until 3rd grade and we actually had to get a "thumb guard" to get her to quit. My son quit probably around 2 or 3 because he had a hang nail on his thumb and it hurt when he sucked. That said, my daughter was a WONDERFUL sleeper and she really needed that thumb. Even though we had the issues later in years, if we were to have another child, (God Forbid!!) be would let him/her suck his thumb. I feel it's natures way af allowing them to self-sooth themselves.
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E.O.
answers from
Los Angeles
on
I used to like the fact that I didn't have to carry a pacifier around for my daughter to use, because she LOVED her thumb, it's attached and always there. But now that she is 16 and already has gone through braces I would suggest you try not to have your child suck their thumb. My daughter's mouth was a mess and she was so attached to her thumb she even sucked it when she had her braces on at 13. She had to have a special appliance with little pokey things so she wouldn't suck her thumb. I suggest another avenue. Good luck.
EO
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S.O.
answers from
San Diego
on
You will find a lot of "expert" reccomendations out there. I have a 3.5 yo paci sucker and a 1.5 yo thumb sucker. You will find many "expert" reccomendations out there that will tell you to stop the paci and thumb sucking by a certain age. And trust me, before I had kids, I always thought I would never let my kid suck on a paci past the age of 2 and would never let my kid suck on their thumb (I was a thumb sucker and now as an adult have braces due to bite issues which my ortho says is not related to my thumbsucking but rather the development of my jaw).
Then I had kids.....
Each kid will find their own way to comfort or self soothe. As an infant my son, who is adopted would suck on his paci and sleep with his stuffed puppy. He slept with the puppy until he turned 2. Now at 3.5 he just wants his paci.
My daughter was a thumbsucker since the day she figured out how to get her hand to her mouth. I tried all kinds of pacis of all shapes and sizes and textures, she hated them all. The only thing that would comfort her as an infant was being breastfed and sucking her thumb.
And my kids were/are great sleepers. They get tucked in for naps and nighttime awake and fall asleep and stay asleep on their own. I attribute that to their ability to self soothe.
IF you can convert your son to take a paci, that would be better for him since you can eventually take away the paci. Versus, you can't really "take away" a thumb. It is probably better for him orthodontically to have the paci versus the thumb. BUT if you can't convert him, I wouldn't stress out about it. In the great scheme of life, this is a very small issue, KWIM? As long as your child is happy and healthy, thumb or paci...whatever works for him to self soothe is what he should do.
Good Luck Mama!
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S.O.
answers from
Los Angeles
on
The worst part about thumb sucking is the paying for the dental work that will occur because your son will develop buck teeth. And when he eats he will have a hard time closing his mouth when he chews. And he could have trouble pronouncing certain letters, to where he will need to have speech in school.
I experienced all this with my daughter. I would reccomend to wean him as quickly as you can. My daughter did not stop until Kindergarten by then the damage was already done. It took the Orthodontist to show her a picture of herself with even more protruded teeth then she had then to make her stop. It was not easy, but I kept reminding her what the ortho said and an appliance placed in her mouth to stop.
I am not sure how to help with the a 4 mo. old to stop. But I just wanted to let you know what can occur if he continues to suck his thumb.
Best of Luck,
S. O.
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K.T.
answers from
Los Angeles
on
I sucked my thumb for 12 years--only at night--and never had raw thumbs. My parents tried to put stuff on my thumbs to make it tast bad--I sucked it of. It was comforting to me to suck it. My brother had a pacifier and that thing was gross! He wanted it everywhere-it would drop on the floor--fel apart--grosss. At least I could wash my hands. Take off the mitts. By breastfeeding every hour you are starting a really bad trend that will be hard to break.
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V.A.
answers from
Los Angeles
on
Hi C.-
Thumb sucking is not a bad thing! It is a way for an infant to self soothe. If, I had to choose between a pacifier and a thumb, I would choose the thumb because it won't get lost. I have 4 1/2 yr old twin boys who discovered their thumb at about 2 months of age. Shortly after that, my boys were searching for something soft to hold while sucking their thumbs. Someone gave me a lovey(small, soft blanket) at my baby shower to help comfort the boys. Boy, was that my saving grace! My hands were full with caring for twins, I needed something to calm them down while tending to the other baby. It really did the trick! Your baby needs a way to self soothe or you'll drive yourself crazy. Like you said, he is sleeping better. The thumb will eventually fall out of his mouth when he is REALLY asleep. If you're worried about his teeth, pacifiers ruin the teeth too. I've heard of kid sucking their thumbs until age 6 or more and still grow in straight teeth. To be honest with you, my boys still suck their thumb but a lot less than they used to. My boys do it only when they have access to their loveys. I try to limit their access but I definitely give it to them at bedtime. They don't walk around all day with they're thumb in their mouths. Not all kids will suck their thumbs until they're raw. My boys had occasional redness but not often. As far as putting mitts on his hands, eventually he will find a way to get them off. You can't fight it forever. I've tried different ways to stop my boys from sucking and they fight me on it all the time. I have to admit, they suck a lot less than they used to as long as they don't have their lovey. I figure they will give it up completely when they're ready but for now, it really seems to console them. Good luck!
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S.H.
answers from
Los Angeles
on
Why don't you give him a pacifier?
1. Can't answer that... children go through stages of sleeping through the night and then waking up and then sleeping throught the night again.. etc.. different changes in their lifes...
2. YES YES YES--I'm not a doctor but I've seen it and it's not good... blaaakh
3/4. Change to a pacifier it's much easier to get rid of... my friend and I had a baby together.. (they are 2.5) her son sucks his thumb I made sure my daughter doesn't by giving her the pacifier... it was the best decision ever... we said bye bye to the pacifier the past week and it's gone (except for nap time and bedtime).. before she was sucking on tha tthing all day long... but my friend is having such a hard time.. because he always has access to his thumbs... and i gotta say.. my husband's niece--8 years old.. yup... and the longer you wait the hard it is to take away... but if you take it away too early it's not good either. They need the sucking reflex right now--from something atleast. I tried a few different pacifiers with my daughter--1. DO NOT use avent.. it just pops right out..2. Nuk and playtex are the best... but I used playtex ones because they are designed in a way to more comfortable and not mess up their teeth.