Fines for Breaking House Rules?

It won't do any good, J.. They are kids. Kids run. It's their house too. They should feel like their house is a refuge, not a museum or library.

The baby needs to get used to noises in the house. I used to vacuum and talk on the phone and run the TV when my babies napped. I felt that it was important for them to be used to background noise. Night time was quiet, and that helped them tell the difference in day and night (other than the dark), early on. PLUS, when I went back to work and put them in daycare, they were used to the noise and there wasn't a problem transitioning.

Just have them play barefoot in the house so that shoes aren't making noise. And consider buying a runner for the hall to help deaden the sound of their feet.

Did you ever hear that old joke:

"On the first day of college, the dean addressed the students, pointing out some of the rules: "The female dormitory will be out-of-bounds for all male students, and the male dormitory will be off limits to the female students. Anybody caught breaking this rule will be fined $20 the first time. Anybody caught breaking this rule the second time will be fined $60. Being caught a third time will cost you $180. Are there any questions?"

One student raised his hand and asked, "How much for a season pass?" ".

Basically you're telling them they can buy their way out of trouble for breaking the rules.
And some kids would be absolutely fine with buying absolution rather than obeying the rule in the first place.

Babies usually sleep through EVERYTHING.
Don't try to maintain silence for naps.
You can try a white noise generator to mask some noises but it's best for babies to acclimate to home life the way it is - even if it's noisy.

Have you forgotten it's not just your house, but also THEIR house. They shouldn't have to live in a library. I actually think it's really healthy for a baby to learn noises. Life can't be silent forever. I vacuumed, played music, watched movies, exercised, did everything while my son was a baby. To this day, noise does not wake him. Your children are children. Let them be. And for goodness sakes, don't fine them. I hope you realize now how absurd that is.

I have NEVER met a kid, who didn't run down the hallway. Lighten up.

ETA: Leanne - you are WAY off. My son is wonderfully behaved. In public and private. However, I don't expect him to be a robot. Some parents do, and that backfires big time. I think it's inappropriate and unhealthy to ask a child to function like an adult.

LOL...I can't believe how angry people get over posts like this. If I would have run through the hallways in my Grandmother's house, I would have gotten wacked in the head with whatever she happened to be holding at the time. I can't believe that nobody else posting here has experienced the same thing...you know, "inside voices" and such? I'm sure some of them are the same people that allow their children to run wild around restaurants throwing food on the floor and smearing ketchup on the walls; afterall, they're just kids...
That being said, I personally don't see anything at all wrong with enforcing WHATEVER rules you decide are appropriate for YOUR house. I'm sorry, yes they live there too, but YOU are the adult and what you say goes. You obviously offer them opportunities to go outside and play where they can run around all they want to, and you don't feel that inside the house is the place for it. That's understandable.
Depending on their age I think the fine thing might work, and it could be a good lesson for them; after all, that IS the way society works and there is nothing wrong with preparing them for the consequences of not following the rules. Of course, it will be alot more beneficial to them if they are old enough to understand the correlation. I have and ex that I used to babysit for, and his children behaved horribly. So every time I babysat, I would give them each 5 polished stones to keep in their pockets. They would get some kind of privilege toward the end of the night; a new movie to watch, ice cream..something different every time. But they would have to pay 3 of their stones for that privilege, and every time I had to yell at them, they would lose a stone. At first I provided opportunities to earn the stones back, but after a few weeks, I didn't need to anymore. It worked, and they never got angry if they didn't get their "treat" because they would understand that it was their own fault and not just me being mean.
If you do decide to try this, I would love to know how it works out! Good luck!!!
Mamazita-
Of course you are right and maybe I should have made that point a little differently. You see ALOT of children misbehaving in public, but the discipline needs to start in the home environment, was the point I was trying to make. Didn't mean to offend anyone.

In no part of society do we make children "pay" for their mistakes. In ALL parts of society we let them suffer the consequences of their choices, and that's what parents should do as well.
If they goof around at school when they're supposed to be working, they lose recess and make up the work.
If they don't do their homework they lose points and/or get a lower grade.
If they're not nice to other kids, then other kids won't play with them, and other parents won't have them around.
If they don't follow the rules of the game they will be asked to sit out.
If they don't brush their teeth they will get cavities.
I could go on and on and on.
Monetary fines are for adults who actually have money they have earned and already understand society's rules and STILL choose to break the law.
When your daughter gets loud, send her outside or to her room. In that way she learns if I do X behavior then Y will happen.
Besides, what's ten cents to a five year old? And what will she learn? Nothing. She needs to learn how to LISTEN to you and stop when you tell her to stop!
I bet my kids would give me lots of dimes if it meant they could continue doing whatever it is they want to do.

My two were 3 and 6 when my third was born. We lived in a small house, so noises were bound to happen. We also had a dog who sometimes barked at random things like butterflies or the UPS truck driving by. Silence would have been nice but it just wasn't realistic.
When the baby was sleeping her door was closed and the fan was on high, not blowing at her, just to provide some white noise to help buffer sounds from the house.
Don't forget the baby has joined your family, not the other way around, and needs to adjust to his (her?) new environment. Trying to get the kids to stop being kids "because of the baby" will only make them resent their sibling more.
I don't know if "fining" them would work anyway. My kids didn't even care about money at that age.
Why not be proactive and use baby's nap time for schooling, setting up paint or play doh, working on puzzles or watching a DVD? I did my best to keep the nap time activities as quiet and cerebral as possible. It wasn't always perfect but it worked for the most part.
ETA: Leanne M, running down the hallway and using the bathroom is no where near the same thing as running around wild in a restaurant or smearing ketchup on the walls, give me a break.

Were these the same rules they have always had? Sounds like they aren't house rules but new rules because there is a baby in the house.

Seems to me it would be better to leave the level of noise normal and the baby will learn to sleep through it. Nothing worse than a light sleeper.

I think a better tactic might be to try and make it harder for them to wake the baby. Have you tried white noise?

We have a box fan in our boys' room that we turn on when one of them is sleeping. It doesn't block out every noise, but it does a pretty good job! My husband and I can watch tv down the hall and have conversations without the worry of waking them.

I agree, money doesn't mean much at that age. Also, money doesn't always mean much at ANY age! Every child has their "thing" and it's not always money. For example, my 12-year old lost her library book. I figured the best consequence was for her to pay for the lost book. We went to the library, she paid for the book and then promptly lost the next library book! She didn't seem to care! So I made her volunteer at the library for 2 hours. THAT made an impression as they made her sort books and help in the children's library. Once she saw how hard they work at the library, she was careful about keeping track of her books.

I would do what other posters suggested and make an obstacle course so the kids can't run down the hallway. Cones or even an obstacle course of stuffed animals might help! The kids can set it up themselves--it'll give them something fun to do and remind them to "tiptoe through the jungle."

I'm still old-fashioned when it comes to the walk-don't-run rule. If you run, then you have to walk all the way back to the beginning and then WALK back through the area. It's a simple way to remind them. Running won't get you there faster, it's SLOWER because you have to walk back and then walk again.

When my D was younger, she was loud in the morning when her father was trying to sleep. He was up late and needed to sleep in the morning. I did a simple green/red reminder. We had a circle that had green on the one side and red on the other hanging from a string. I taped the string to the mirror. When the red side was out, that meant she had to be quiet. I put the same reminder up in the areas she was in the morning--the kitchen, bathroom and living room. All I had to do was point to the red and she'd quiet down. Eventually she learned, although the funny thing was she didn't quite know how to whisper yet so she'd go to whisper something in my ear and end up being very loud!

The only other thing I can suggest is the marble jar rather than money. They get marbles in their jar for following the rules and they get marbles taken away for disobeying. Marbles can be cashed in for things like extra TV time, etc. It's a good way to teach about "money" without actually using money, and it's in a way they understand.

Good luck!

You might have more success by rephrasing your rules in a positive way and setting the kids up for success.

'No yelling in the house' becomes 'use speaking/quiet voices inside'. Have her tell you when the rule is getting hard and then go outside with her and both of you make some noise.

'No running in the house' becomes 'walking, tiptoeing and slow walking in the house'. Make it FUN - practice super slow walking and tiptoeing together. Make a funny hand sign when the baby is sleeping so she knows to be super super quiet. And take her outside often and RUN. Kids NEED to run.

Nice hands/gentle hands/helping hands - good rule.

Use your voice - good rule. But she needs practice. Help her with this one by rephrasing what she wants to say and trying to recognize when she seems frustrated before she becomes physical.

My son is 7-1/2 and money still doesn't mean much too him. He knows we buy things in the store and can calculate change no problem, but a fine would be meaningless to him. We do not do punishment or rewards in any form however.

A 3 year old is not going to understand what the heck you're talking about. I thought your kids must be tweens or young teens. This isn't going to work. You're the parent, swat them on the hiney and tell them to hush. Then sit them in a chair for 5-10 minutes in the main part of the house, not time out, but more of a teaching moment.

Wow, that is something new and I think is extreme. First off, how old are your other children and what are the house rules. Secondly, depending on the children ages, you are the parent, you set the tone for your household. If you are putting your baby down for a nap you have to find other activities for the others to do that will be quiet or send them to the back yard to play. Keep them from running in and out, get them snacks and drinks together for their enjoyment and refreshment and only let one at a time come in to potty. I am just saying charging children to follow house rules is ridiculous. They are kids for Christ sake. If they are older you have to set the tone for the teens. Ijs, if they cannot follow your rules in the bedroom they go until the baby is awake. OAN, can you send them to the neighbors or relatives until the baby wakes??

Good Luck

I don't think it would work for such young children; maybe when they're more interested in money and receive a regular allowance?

I also grew up with rules and punishment for breaking them (whaaaa?) I was not allowed to run or yell in the house and neither are MY children. Do they still do it? Yeah, they're kids....but they always get a reminder to use walking feet and soft voices. It's my job to teach them how to behave. Outside? They can run and yell all they want - the louder the better to keep the bears away ;) None of mine nap anymore, but when they did the older ones were expected to be reasonably quiet or they'd get in trouble.

Rules are more than just getting children to behave like robots (*eyeroll*). Rules are about teaching children to be respectful of the people they share space with - whether at home or out.

And by the way, my kids live in MY house - they don't pay the mortgage! It is their *home*, but they do not set the rules or get any say at this point.

Gidget has a great idea below.. They have a white noise machine (as do we) and I agree, it does block out a lot of sound .. However, you can still hear the child. We use ours because our bedrooms face the street and on the weekends, it can get a little noisy. Since using it, it's so much nicer... ZZZZZZZZZZZZ :)
Your kids are pretty young, not sure they will understand fines... and as adults, they will be taxed enough :) so I wouldn't try that approach..

I think if you got one of those machines, then their running wouldn't wake up the baby. Also, I do think kids have to follow rules... why not put up a baby gate and block the hallway?

Thing is.. we want our kids to be outgoing, but then we want them to quiet down.. We want them to be active but then we want them to stop running.. I know there is a time and place, but I am careful as to when I apply some rules.. some things I think you just have to chalk up to part of childhood.. especially having to repeat yourself to them.. My son is 11 and I still have to mention things over and over..

I might be the only one here that will think this is a good idea. But I do. I actually "fine" my kids for leaving the lights on. 1 penny for eachtime I have to turn off their light. depending on the age, you might want to change the denomination to something they will likely have a lot of. :)

I also like the idea I found a while ago, for a choir jar. write chores (extra ones that they wouldn't normally do, like dust the window sills in the living room, or polish the door handle, etc) and if they break wake the baby they have to draw a stick and complete the chore.

I don't agree that you should make it harder to wake the baby. I think they need to learn to be respectful of others needs. It's not like you are asking them to tip-toe in the house and wisper all the time? Right? Just while baby is napping...

On that note, you could even hang a sign or turn on a blue light as a reminder to them that it is quiet time and there are consequences for loudness.

I would not fine them because money is an intangible at that age. Plus, I prefer discipline to punishment.... I think it's more effective.

what activities do you provide for them to do while the baby is napping? I would start there. If they have an activity that keeps them busy but quiet, then you have won 1/2 the battle.

First - if they can't play quietly together... then the consequence is that EVERYONE has quiet time - in their own corner. play dough, coloring, reading a book... whatever. But they HAVE to pick an activity and do it ALONE (or together if they can do it together quietly).

2nd - get them where you want them to be BEFORE the baby goes down. That way you aren't anxious about them waking the baby up and you'll have more patience.

Is the 5 year old in school part of the day? If not, I would look into some sort of class.... if she can't follow directions on a consistent basis on command, she will struggle in kindergarten. Maybe look at a summer activity that will occupy them part of the day and then try to arrange naps when they are out of the house?

Also - my daughter was good about napping... anywhere. So, I would go the park with my SIL - her kids would play on the equipment and my daughter would nap on a blanket on the grass while we talked.

Does your five year old kiddo have money to spend? :) I know that when my son was five, there were a couple of things which I told him "if you do that again, it's going to cost you (a nickel, a quarter)...." esp. things like kicking the back of my seat on long car rides. "That's a nickel for me. Want to stop now?"

When it comes to running, I usually give one warning and then he gets to sit in a chair for five minutes. (now, six, so six minutes for any time-outs.)Having to sit for five minutes slows them down in a huge way and is counter to what they want to do, which is run like crazy people. It's a great consequence. (By the way, our house is dinky and he runs *into* things-- he bumped his head on a desk today and it bled... that's why we are careful about not going at a full sprint indoors. Not to inhibit his desire to run-- he is regularly offered time outside if he's running. But crashing into glass storm doors or the pointy corner of the desk is a real, unavoidable problem.)

You might also make it 'fun' for them to walk, like set up some of those safety/traffic cones in the middle of the hall so they have to slow down. Or make some media time contingent upon being quiet in the hallway during naptime. Waking up the baby? No tv. So sad, too bad.:) Or just put some painters tape across the entrance to the hallway, so they have it blocked off and a reminder to use the other bathroom. (I like to get creative with my problem solving.)

Only you know your kids. I would not charge my son though. I would ground him.

So you make rules but you only enforce it to the 5 year old? Sounds fishy to me. The rules don't seem fair. The quiet rule is not really that great, running yes but small kids are full of energy. Maybe move the baby room away from the main bathroom. When a kid has to go they got to go no detours.

You could take away their fave toys instead of money then tell them they can only get the toy back when they start behaving & minding the rules then follow through, be firm & stand your ground. IMO I don't think money is as significant as a toy would be to a young child.

Then once they start behaving for several days give the toy back. If they act up again, take the toys away again or if they're old enough, make them do extra chores they don't like to do.

If you do the toy method, I'd wait a couple of days before returning the toy. That way, you can see if they're serious about minding. If they behave & truly act like they've changed, give the toy back but if they act right for a short time, they may go back to misbehaving so it's best IMO to wait a couple of days just to make sure they've earned the toy back. Good luck!