You've gotten a lot of good responses so far. I'll only add a couple things. As far as Dave Ramsey, if you don't want to spend money on one of his books or programs right now, he is on talk radio daily. You can listen for free. Do a web search and see if you can find a local station (probably AM) that carries him.
I thought I was tight with my money until I met my (now) husband. His jaw dropped at the money I spent when I thought I was being conservative. Since I met him, I've learned to eat out at less expensive restaurants (he loves buffets--more for your money), and order water to drink (think how much that saves over a year's time, esp if you both do it, when sodas at a restaurant are frequently $2 or more).
I've learned how to shop better--i.e., pay attention to store deals, use coupons and watch for days at your grocery store when they'll double the coupons for you, don't be afraid to shop several different stores because one may have the best deal on produce and another on canned goods, and another on meats. If you have any mercados near you (basically Mexican grocery stores), they always have great deals on produce. Also if you or your husband are military and there's a base nearby with a commissary, DO check it out. We save a lot there. I've always liked to garden, but now I take it more seriously. We buy a lot less produce in the spring and summer. And I grow my own herbs instead of paying $3 or more for a handful of fresh basil at the grocery store. My next goal is to start canning.
I also learned to go to dollar movies or matinees instead of the $8 evening shows. (Of course, now we mostly just use RedBox!)
This may seem like an odd way to save money, but I really think it made a difference for me: I started going to bed earlier. I used to stay up all night, and sometimes I'd make a latenight run to Taco Bell, or go out and spend money at a bar or restaurant or the movies, whatever. Now, I couldn't imagine paying even $3 for a well drink at a bar. And I'm a grump if I'm not in bed by ten. And things you can do in the day generally cost less than night entertainment.
Check out coupon-clipping websites (www.coupons.com), and sites like www.dealseekingmom.com that tell you about deals at local stores, and how to use coupons to your best advantage. I also check out www.heyitsfree.net, but usually just for fun; in the long run it doesn't help with finances, but I get a lot of free samples in the mail :)
My mom just recently started mystery shopping for a company she found online. She seems to like it and it brings in some extra cash. Google it.
Incidentally, if you have a library nearby with internet access that you can use, maybe you could stop paying for internet.
We actually invested in some scooters a couple years ago (Suzuki Burgmans, large enough to take on the interstate) which helped us save a tremendous amount on gas. They def paid for themselves. Hubby is now carpooling to work also.
It sounds like you and your husband keep your finances separate. Why not join them? Then you will both be on the same page about how much money is available. It can also save fights about who's paying more, who's doing more, etc. You as a team will be paying the bills, instead of "he pays this and I pay that." It gets rid of an opportunity to lay blame on someone because "you didn't spend as much as I did" or "you forgot to pay the water bill" or "we wouldn't have cable if I wasn't willing to pay for it."
It's fun to watch your savings grow, too. Set up some kind of plan. Even if it's just to put your change in a jar and earmark the jar for the savings account. Or choose a specific amount or specific percentage of your income to go to savings every pay period. Look into CDs or other interest-earning opportunities at your bank, although admittedly interest rates are next to nothing right now...but a penny saved is a penny earned, right? I'd rather earn 0.5% than nothing. Don't forget to add in the interest every month on your ledger. It's a deposit! Enjoy it, even if it's only a dollar, or less.
One other important thing, though--don't cut out ALL fun in order to save money. You might not be taking any expensive trips or even going out to an expensive restaurant any time soon, but there's lots of things you can do on the cheap. I already mentioned RedBox. Check your local community center for cheap or even free goings-on in town. Do you have a GPS unit? I'm a big advocate of geocaching--it's free, fun, and gets you out of the house, gets you a little exercise. Here's a previous question where I talked about it: http://www.mamapedia.com/questions/10001790678033629185 Also, check out the National Parks Service website: some days they have free admission to parks. A lot of wildlife management areas and the like are free all the time, or you might pay a small fee to camp overnight. I just think it's important to incorporate some fun so you don't get overwhelmed by stress.
Well I thought I wasn't going to say much but I got going and couldn't stop. I hope this helps. Good luck with the loss mitigation!