Finace vs Ex Husband

I would attend the funeral. My husband and I are getting divorced and I became very close to his grandma over the 8 yrs we were together. She even went so far as to tell my ex to not make her choose between us because she wouldnt do it. I would def go, you are there paying respects to the grandmother.

Why not go? If you want to, that shouldn't be a problem. Two of my Ex 's came to my mom's funeral and I was remarried at the time. My husband didn't care one bit. They knew her and loved her just like everyone else that were there.

Depends on how close you where. My parents divorced after 18 years. When my fathers dad passed, it was expected she would be there even though my father had a new wife, because she was still family. You do not stop being family just because a marriage fails.

Do you guys have kids together? If so, I would go - you are there to support your children. If not, I think I would pay my respects from a distance. I certainly wouldn't judge you if you DID decide to go - but be prepared that other people attending the funeral might. Grief does funny things to people.

Just my two cents - good luck no matter what you decide.

It shouldn't matter that it's your "ex's" grandmother, it is someone you care about so you go to the funeral just as if it was anyone else in your life that you care about.

My ex and I have a good friend relationship. I have even spent the night with him and his wife, who I went to high school with (I live 125 miles from my old town and it was convenient to stay there instead of a hotel). Our relationship is way in the past and we are all friendly now. I took my husband to my ex's mother's and grandmothers funerals, I don't know why in the world I wouldn't. He knew my ex-mother-in-law, we sat for hours at her house when we got caught in a flood and couldn't get to my mom's house. I think you should go, don't sit with the family, even if they invite you, that would just be odd.

If you were close with her-- she would want you there. If not, see how your ex feels and decide from there. I would most likely go--

I would definitely attend. My mother and step-father divorced after 18 years together and during their marriage my step-father grew very close with my mother's side of the family. They have been divorced for several years now, but when my grandmother passed away this year there was no question that my step-father would attend, not only out of respect for my grandmother, but also for my mother. I know that it meant a lot to my mother that he did attend and the rest of my family.

Sorry for the loss.

I don't see how this is a "fiance VS ex-husband" situation. Someone who you cared about has died. If you want to show them respects and you are able to go to the funeral, then you go- right? To me I don't see why your current fiance or your ex-husband needs to be thought of. It definitely helps that you are on good terms with your ex-husband in this situation, sure.

I just don't think any other people need to be considered when attending a funeral. It is a very personal event, and you go because of the person who has passed away, and no other reason.

I hope you find peace and closure with whatever decision you make.

Go, it's for you and the grandmother, and to support your ex during this time of loss for him. And if your fiance is a good man he will understand and encourage you to go. J.

If your ex would be okay with it I think it would be nice if you went.

if you were close to her, and you think she would have wanted you there, i would go.

I have an ex-husband - we were married almost 9 years and now have been separated/divorced for a little over 8 years. If his grandmother passed away, I would go - it has nothing to do with your ex and your relationship - hopefully, it was a nice lady you would like to respect at her funeral.

Actually, my husband's uncle passed and I went to his funeral, and nothing was said by my husband now and we've been married 5 1/2 years. :)

I would attend the funeral. You are paying respects to the grandmother. My parents were married for 25 years and have been divorced for over 20 but my dad and mom when she was alive both went to funerals on opposite sides of the family. Just because your marrage didnt last with this guy is no need to cut his family out of pic. My dad even attended my mom's funeral.

Also on a side note I think it is wonderful to hear that you and your ex are able to talk and communicate as adults. So many people after a divorce can no longer be civil to one another. I hope that your future husband can see this quaility as a positive one.

I would go to the funeral alone. I would not take your boyfriend, out of respect for the whole family.

God bless you all.

Hi: I would say you should go to the funeral. After all, you did say that you had grown close to his family. even though life events have caused your interaction to wane, they also are people with busy lives. There is a time when we all have to face our individual effects on each other's lives. death is a time when the focus on the significance of life should be treasured. Also to bring closure to the relationships would be good. After all, we never know what strenght and new relationships can occur and be a sourse of joy when we sometimes reach back to others.

GW

If you were close to the grand-ma you should go. It seems that you have a friendly relationship with the family.

I would go. You say you are close to his family and on friendly terms with him--so I believe it would be respectful to go. And he did let you know personally. It wasn't like you found out through the newspaper or another source.

If you are close with that side of the family and knew his grandmother, I think it should be fine to attend the funeral but I would check in with your fiance, ex-husband and ex-husband's girlfriend first just to make sure that your attending the funeral will not lead to a lot of needless upset and drama.

I think I would go to the funeral. This was a woman who was an important person in your life at one time and regardless of what happened between you and her grandson, she deserves your respect. I'm assuming that your fiancee knows about your ex-husband and that you're on friendly terms with him. Just tell your fiancee that you want to attend the funeral of this wonderful woman to show your respects to her and her family and if he's as secure with your relationship as you are, he won't have a problem with that. It's about HER, not about any perceived drama, and reasonable adults will see that.

I understand the closeness that you had with your ex's family however you have to move on. I know it hurts. Send a bouquet of flowers' for the funeral or money if that is something they are asking to be donated to some agency. You are just getting married come November, he only has a g/f that has been around for approx.2yrs.
This is where things get tough. I know from experience that my ex's mother passed, I didn't go to the funeral but they all knew why I didn't. They will certainly understand. It then won't put pressure on your fiancee and your husband may not have that wandering eye. I wish you well and am sending my condolences!

If you're on a friendly basis with your ex, could you ask him if it would be okay if you came?

I would at least go to the visitation.

There is no reason you 'cannot' attend the funeral.
Your Fiance should understand. He can go with you, if that does not irk anyone of your ex in-laws.
You should attend, out of respect. And you are close to the family.
If your Fiance has character and an understanding mature heart... he will understand.

all the best,
Susan

If you have kids, definately yes -- it's their grandmother.

If not, perhaps be sure to bring your fiance so he can see people you connected with and use it to strengthen his own knowledge and ties with you.

My deepest sympathy to you!